• Published 12th Apr 2016
  • 14,952 Views, 12,558 Comments

Three More Things! - Tatsurou



Uncle Chan tries to balance running an antique shop, fighting demons, and being a Chi Wizard with being a loving Uncle to his nephew, his somewhat removed niece...and three little ponies who drive him straight up the wall.

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Big House Rock

Bai Tza carefully pushed her way past the foliage as she made her way towards the prison. Valmont's plan had been exceptionally clever, especially since it involved absolutely no hint of Dark Hand involvement getting back to any authorities. The only drawback as far as Bai Tza was concerned was that it had her doing all the legwork, and most of it had to be done in her human form to minimize attention...which meant being on her legs a lot more than she liked. As much as she'd based her human form on how she'd looked as a Siren before her Demonic Ascension - save trading her fish tail for legs - it had still been eons since she'd been limited to this level of strength, and the first time in her life she'd spent an extended period of time on two feet. It wasn't entirely pleasant.

Given the environment and her intended roles, Valmont had selected an outfit for her that would be fitting and she'd used her magic to shape it over her body so it would change with her if she had to go liquid. She was wearing a two-color blue striped bikini top, a black vest, and tight fitting blue jeans with the cuffs rolled up, the combination looking somewhat dignified while still allowing her to show off and accentuate her figure. She didn't bother carrying anything with her this trip, since once she made it as far as the prison she'd be finding a different way in that didn't allow for belongings to be brought with.

Reaching the walls, she searched around and found the drain she'd been expecting. Smirking, she knelt down and slipped her hand into the drain, turning first her arm liquid before letting her entire body follow slowly and steadily. Her magic mapped the plumbing ahead of her, and led her to the prisoner Valmont had told her to look for...a silent bruiser by the name of Mongo. A giant of a man - easily eight feet tall and as broad at the shoulder - Mongo was the muscle of a gang that had been captured, and he'd been thrown in here as it was the only facility that could contain him. In his gang, he'd been the 'safe cracker', as he had frequently broken safes open by ripping them out of walls and digging his fingers into the hinges.

Three things made him ideal for Valmont's plan. First, despite being mute, he was surprisingly intelligent. Second, a long time on good behavior had given him free reign of the prisoner areas, including such areas as the unloading dock for supplies and the laundry room, granting him more than enough leeway to find the portal once he had the Pan'ku Box...which he could easily hide just by closing one hand around it. Third and most important, he had a son on the outside by the 'street name' of DJ Fist, a skilled mechanic and bruiser in his own right. A promise to reunite the man with his son once he was outside would get his cooperation...and the promise coming from Valmont would earn his loyalty.

Still, it was one thing to be told about such a man. Even for a Demoness like Bai Tza, being confronted by the reality of a man who needed to have his own bathroom in his cell because he'd walk through the bars if he needed to go in the middle of the night and had enough thick black hair to be mistaken for a black bear was quite another. "Well aren't you a morsel," she found herself purring. She couldn't help it. As a Siren, she'd seduced quite a number of sailors to a last dalliance before drowning them, and she'd been especially fond of the Vikings. Even underwater, they lasted much longer, making the experience far better for her.

Mongo turned towards the sink and stared into the water, a thick, bushy eyebrow raised inquiringly.

Bai Tza made sure it was her human face visible in the water, then spoke more carefully. "I bring a message from Valmont of the Dark Hand," she explained softly. Seeing this immediately got her the giant's full attention, she continued. "Valmont has business here in this facility. If you act as his agent, you will be freed from here, recruited into the Dark Hand, and reunited with 'DJ Fist'. Is this agreeable to you?"

Mongo stared down at her for a time, then cupped a hand to his ear, beckoning with the other.

"My brother is imprisoned here, though not physically," Bai Tza explained. "Valmont will arrange for the key to his cell to reach the loading dock. You will then carry the key around until it finds his cell, somewhere in this prison. Once my brother is released, he will give you further instructions to keep his escape hidden, and the pair of you will escape during the night."

Mongo stared at her for a time, then nodded.

Bai Tza grinned. "The warden's birthday is coming up. This includes a delivery of a cake and a huge carton of ice cream for the guards. Volunteer to carry the ice cream to the kitchen. The key will be a blue box hidden in the carton of ice cream. I will be waiting for you and my brother the night of the planned escape. With luck, no one will know of our involvement, and we'll all be home free."

Mongo nodded, then turned back to his own business as Bai Tza withdrew out the plumbing, making her way back to her pick up point to spend some time with Valmont. He'd promised a 'suitable reward' to appease her complaints about doing all the leg work...and there was a mountain resort not far away he owned a good number of shares in...


Mongo had 'volunteered' to carry the ice cream by the simple expedient of being there at the loading dock when the truck arrived. When one of the guards picked up the cake and called for a forklift for the ice cream, Mongo had stepped up, wrapped his arms around the tub, and hefted. The guards had been surprised at his eagerness to help, but had thanked him, glad they didn't need to bring any machinery around.

Mongo had then made his way down the hallways of the prison towards the kitchen. Stepping into the freezer, he set the tub down and lifted the lid. The box was right where he'd been told, and he enfolded it in his right hand as he turned and left. Given the layout of the prison hallways, the fact that the 'key' hadn't reacted at all eliminated most of the wing, leaving only the laundry as far as areas he had free access to check. It was either that or solitary, and those cells were too small for him.

Once in the laundry room, he felt the box in his hand vibrating, and he opened his hand. It floated into the air, embedded itself in the wall, and opened a glowing portal. From out of the portal, a figure that resembled a giant purple-grey and green poison dart frog leapt out...though giant was a relative term, since Mongo looked down on him.

The figure stared up at him in surprise as the portal closed, the box falling to the floor. "Well, aren't you a large figure," it declared in an echoing voice, its red eyes glowing. He looked Mongo over for a time. "...yes, this is a form I can take. Grab the box."

Mongo stepped over and picked up the box. When he turned for further instructions, he looked at...himself.

"Stay here," his copy said in the frog's voice. "Crouch behind the machines so no one will see you. Stay perfectly still until my sister comes for you."

Nodding, Mongo stepped behind the machines, crouched down, and waited. He heard his copy walking out of the room and back towards his cell.

Mongo waited.


Night fell, and Bai Tza slipped into the prison in liquid form. Leaving the pipes, she made her way to the electrical systems. She didn't like this part as dealing with electricity hurt, but Valmont's method gave her the least interaction with it. Reaching the power room, she found the cables connected to the security cameras and the spotlights, carefully cut the rubber casings open, and shed a few droplets. The current arched, and she flinched back as the system went down. A quick restoration spell on the rubber, and no one would be the wiser. It would seem like a perfectly ordinary short in the system.

Heading back for the laundry room, she revealed her human face to Mongo. "Follow me," she instructed firmly before zooming down the halls. Mongo was hot on her currently-nonexistent-heels. She quickly led him to the prison grounds, avoiding the guard patrols as they met up with Xiao Fung.

"Grab hold," Xiao instructed Mongo, who immediately grabbed hold of his copy. Bai Tza took human form and latched onto her brother, who promptly leapt over the walls with the three of them and into the woods beyond. "Now run!" Xiao Fung ordered, racing forward as fast as he could go, shifting his own body into a much smaller temporary human form.

Before long, the three of them reached a road where a bus was waiting for them. Valmont - dressed in exceptionally plain blue clothes and a cap - handed Mongo clothes in his size. "Get changed and get on," he ordered firmly. Mongo did as instructed as the group clambered onto the tour bus, which was filled with Dark Hand agents in 'tourist garb' that the Chans hadn't met.

Getting behind the wheel, Valmont turned the engine over and drove at a sedate pace down the road. Once they'd made it a few miles along, he relaxed completely. "We'll reach the coast by sunrise," he offered warmly. "Bai, can you handle the four of us underwater?"

"Easily," Bai Tza praised. "But tell me, what would you have done if I couldn't?"

"I would have called in a transport for Mongo and I," Valmont explained simply. "Then you and Xiao would have made your way back however you could manage. This way, no one will even know we were here."

Xiao Fung chuckled to himself. "Very clever, human," he offered warmly. "You picked a good one, sister."

"In more ways than just that," Bai Tza purred suggestively, shooting Valmont the naughtiest pair of bedroom eyes he'd ever seen outside porn.

Swallowing nervously, he continued driving, wondering - not for the first time - how he was ever going to keep up with this woman. It seemed that even if it was not water that killed him, he'd still eventually drown in her affections as all her previous human suitors had...though it certainly promised to be a pleasant final fate.

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