• Published 12th Apr 2016
  • 14,953 Views, 12,558 Comments

Three More Things! - Tatsurou



Uncle Chan tries to balance running an antique shop, fighting demons, and being a Chi Wizard with being a loving Uncle to his nephew, his somewhat removed niece...and three little ponies who drive him straight up the wall.

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When a Kid's In America

Tailing Jackie, even while riding a tame cloud, proved to be far more entertaining than the group had anticipated. First off, much to their surprise, Scootaloo had to guide Cumulo much higher than normal to avoid being spotted, since one of the first things Jackie did was make his way up the side of a building to the top to track the car he was after. Jade's biggest amazement there was when Jackie seemed to literally run up the wall a good distance on hands and feet, before racing along to leap from rooftop to rooftop. When he tried to climb down a drainpipe, however, it proved to not be anywhere near as attached to the building as Jackie was, leading to him crashing atop the car he was tailing, making Jade and the others wince.

This had then led to a chase across town as the three thugs inside the car - all three tall and skinny, each with their own unique 'style', if it could be called that - attempted to take down Jackie, who was easily able to stay one jump ahead of them until he got past a fence surrounding the school playground. While the school was closed that day, the playground was still open to the students as a 'safe play environment'. As none of the three pursuing thugs looked physically fit enough to jump the fence as Jackie had, it looked like Jackie was safe...until they pulled out what could only be described as 'lightning swords' - short, sword-shaped batons surrounded by focused electrical energy - and cut through the fence to go after Jackie. Scootaloo was getting ready to swoop down and give the thugs a taste of her own lightning, until she saw Jackie manage to disarm and disable the thugs with a pair of windshield wipers, the playground tether ball, and the swing set. At that point, the thugs ran for it, showing they actually had a brain between them.

Jade managed at that point to convince Scootaloo to set them down so she could run up and tell Jackie how cool he was, but by the time she got there, all she managed to do was distract Jackie just as a bald man in a black trench coat sprayed him with a green gas from a canister, knocking Jackie out cold. This news was not well received by the fillies as the bald man and two others loaded the unconscious Jackie into an unmarked blue van.

"I say we zap the van with some lightning!" Scootaloo insisted. "Bet that'd teach them to abduct our Uncle Jackie!"

"Except Jackie's in the van," Sweetie Belle pointed out logically. "He'd get zapped, too."

"Oh..." Scootaloo offered sheepishly. "Kinda forgot about that..."

"Maybe I could get one of the trees they drive by tear the van apart with its roots and branches?" Apple Bloom suggested. "Jackie won't get zapped by wood."

Jade stared at Apple Bloom, stunned. "You...you can do that?" she asked, her voice awed.

Apple Bloom smirked a bit mischievously. "You can't?" she teased.

"Be nice," Sweetie Belle chided. "Besides, if Jackie's still unconscious..."

"Oh, yeah," Apple Bloom muttered. "I guess that's a concern..."

"I don't suppose you have any viable suggestions?" Jade asked. "Instead of just poking holes?"

"I figured we could follow to wherever they're taking Jackie and then storm the place," Sweetie Belle offered. "With our magic, we could probably tear the building apart if we feel the need. Pretty sure we can get him out safely." She rubbed the pendant she was wearing. "And as long as we're just dealing with humans, we won't even get in trouble, as long as we wear these."

"Seriously?" Jade gasped out. "How could that work?"

"As long as we're wearin' these pendants," Apple Bloom explained, "anything we say, do, or are gets shrugged off as 'normal' for us by anyone who sees us, as long as they don't got any magic in 'em."

"So...with those pendants, you could get away with just about anything?" Jade asked excitedly.

Apple Bloom glanced down nervously. "Well..."

Sweetie Belle looked somewhere between uncertain and ashamed. "Umm..."

Scootaloo grinned conspiratorially. "Yup!"

Jade grinned wickedly. "We'll have to talk about that later... For now, let's focus on saving Jackie."

As they watched, the van pulled into a dead end alley, and details proved difficult to see. They were, however, able to see the bald man make his way through a hidden door and down a staircase, and were able to follow him, where they saw the immense base he'd walked into.

"Uncle Jackie's been absconded to some sort of secret underground base!" Jade whispered in awe. "We gotta figure out how to get him out!"

"There's a garage over there," Scootaloo pointed out. "Maybe there'll be something in there you can drive to get him out?"

"What about you three?" Jade asked worriedly.

"We'll make a distraction and walk right out," Apple Bloom replied. She wiggled her pendant. "Sides, I think I see some plants and an experimental growth formula over there..."

Sweetie Belle sighed. "Here's hoping this doesn't blow up in our faces..."


Jackie groaned as the crazed action finally slowed down enough for him to wrap his mind around it all. First, his old friend Augustus Black shows up...to kidnap him and take him to a secret underground anti-crime base. Then he finds out the thugs who were after the shield and threatened his family were part of a secret crime organization that basically ran the criminal world, and was after artifacts...and Augustus wanted him to work with him to research what artifacts this 'Dark Hand' would be after.

And just as he was coming to terms with all of it, a giant plant creature he could only define in his mind as 'Audrey III' came bursting out of one of the labs and began lashing out with vines while singing 'Never Gonna Give You Up' in a deep, bass voice, the sprinkler system started releasing fog that shaped into thunderclouds indoors, and Jade came riding up on a moped through the middle of the chaos trying to pull him out of the base. He was glad he was able to shut the moped down easily, even if it did leave him crashing into a wall.

Sitting up, his head cleared enough that he could see Jade struggling in the grip of two agents, even as other agents tried - and failed - to contain the plant monstrosity. "Young lady, how did you get in here?" Augustus demanded angrily.

Jade pulled free of the grip of the two agents - mostly because a pair of vines had grabbed hold of them - and smirked smugly. "The stairs."

"Where did you get the bike?" Jackie demanded angrily. "And...all this?" He gestured at the rest of the chaos. "You could have been hurt!"

"The bike's from their garage!" Jade bragged as she pulled him close. "I snuck it out to help bust you out of here while the girls provided a distraction."

Jackie groaned as things began to make sense. "Apple Bloom?" he asked morosely, pointing at the singing plant. When he got the confirming nod, he pointed at the thunderclouds. "Scootaloo?" Another nod. "...I don't want to know what Sweetie Belle's up to, do I?"

"She's checking the computers for a self destruct system," Jade confirmed, only for Jackie to groan and bury his face in his hands.

"Jade," Jackie finally groaned out, "these people are my friends."

Jade stared up at him. "Your 'friends' knocked you out and took you to a super secret underground base?" she asked incredulously.

"Uh...yes?" Jackie offered.

Jade's face split into a wide grin. "America...is so...cool!" Turning, she let out a piercing whistle. "Girls!" she called out. "Friendly fire! Friendly fire!"

The thunderclouds immediately began to dissipate. Jackie also heard Apple Bloom bark out, "Sit!" leading to the singing plant settling down instead of rampaging, carefully setting down the agents it had snatched up.

"Care to explain how our security was penetrated by a child and her friends?" Augustus asked blandly.

"I'm not a child!" Jade insisted. "I'm Jackie's niece!"

Augustus smirked cheekily at Jackie. "I didn't know you had a niece."

"Join the club," Jackie responded tiredly.

"You seem rather blase about the giant plant monster and the indoor thunderclouds," Jade pointed out to Captain Black.

"It's not the first time it's happened," Augustus responded mildly. "Admittedly, your friends' ability to contain the situation so readily is something I'd like to look into."

"You mean this sort of thing happens often here?" Jackie asked disbelievingly.

"We develop our own tech by the Thomas Edison method," Augustus answered enigmatically. "That's all I'll say."

At that point, Jackie gently pulled Jade aside so he could talk to her about what happened. "Jade..."

"Come on, admit it!" Jade piped up happily. "Weren't we brave?"

"Yes," Jackie admitted. "But your actions lacked wisdom, to know when challenges are too big, or when actions are too risky. Many people could have gotten hurt from this, you four included. Courage without wisdom is foolishness." He smiled reassuringly, hoping to take any sting out of the rebuke. "Understand?"

Jade glanced away. "Uh...my English must not be too good," she offered nervously.

At that point, Jackie's phone rang. Sighing, he picked it up. "Hello?"

"Jackie!" Uncle greeted warmly from the other end.

"Uncle!" Jackie answered even as Jade turned away with a smirk.

"Where are you?" Uncle asked curiously.

"Uh...can't say," Jackie responded nervously, glancing around.

"Oh," Uncle answered, saying no more on it. "One more thing! Have you seen Jade?"

"Yes, she's with me," Jackie groaned out.

"See?" Uncle countered. "I knew you two would get along! One more thing! Have you seen the girls?"

"They're here too," Jackie grumbled, glancing up at 'Audrey III' again.

"See? And you said you couldn't handle children," Uncle jibed. "One more thing! How are they getting along together?"

"Thick as thieves," Jackie grumbled, once more glaring slightly at Jade.

"And you were worried about rivalries!" Uncle chided joyfully. "One more thing! I have been doing research on the shield. Jackie, I have found what the inscriptions mean. They are incantations."

"Incantations?" Jackie demanded, shocked.

"Magic," Uncle confirmed. "Very powerful. But the shield not important!"

Jackie choked a bit over his words. "Of course the shield is important, Uncle! Everyone I've met today wants the shield!"

"Ah," Uncle responded calmly. "Shield not important!" Before Uncle could say anything else, the line went silent.

"Uncle?" Jackie called out worriedly. "Uncle? Uncle!"

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