• Published 12th Apr 2016
  • 15,168 Views, 12,616 Comments

Three More Things! - Tatsurou



Uncle Chan tries to balance running an antique shop, fighting demons, and being a Chi Wizard with being a loving Uncle to his nephew, his somewhat removed niece...and three little ponies who drive him straight up the wall.

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Pet Problems

Uncle sighed as the commercial ended on TV. It had been one of those commercials of 'a boy and his dog' variety, advertising pet food. Considering the three fillies had gone deathly quiet as it came on, he was pretty sure he knew exactly where this was going. He could see Apple Bloom's yearning expression just by looking down in his lap, and Scootaloo's hunger just by glancing to his left, where she rested on her cloud. While he couldn't look up to see Sweetie on his head, he could easily imagine her having a similar expression. She then clambered down to beside Apple Bloom as Scoot took the other arm rest, and he knew what would happen next.

As they all turned their cutest pleading expressions on him, they all spoke up. "Uncle...?" they began, their voices high pitched and wheedling.

"No pets," Uncle replied firmly, not even waiting for them to finish their request.

"Please?" all three whined.

"No!" Uncle replied firmly, setting them down and making his way into the kitchen. Once there, he opened a cabinet to fetch some tea.

"Please?" all three fillies pleaded from inside the cabinet...somehow.

Uncle, however, had grown used to the idea that the laws of physics didn't apply where magic was involved, so he simply replied, "No!" fetched his tea, and closed the cabinet. He then turned to start brewing his tea.

"Please?" Sweetie Belle pleaded from inside the first teapot when he lifted the lid.

"No!" he countered, turning to the second teapot.

"Please?" Apple Bloom pleaded as he lifted the lid.

"No!"

"Pwease?" Scootaloo wheedled from the third.

"No!" he snapped as he prepped the fourth to actually have tea.

After that, all was silent for a while as he made tea...until he poured it for himself and carried it to the table.

"Please?" all three fillies pleaded from their seats.

"No!" Uncle countered firmly, sitting down to drink his tea and steadfastly ignoring them.

All seemed quiet as Uncle prepared to go to bed. However, as he curled up and turned his ceiling fan on low, he realize the fillies had taken things a step further. His fan had three blades, and they were each sitting on the edge of one. As the fan rotated, each of them called out "Please?" as they passed over him, to which he immediately responded "No!"

As time continued to pass like this, even with the light off, Uncle lulled himself to sleep by counting Pleases instead of sheep.


Jackie arrived early the following morning, deciding to surprise Uncle and the fillies with his visit. Letting himself in with his key, he made his way upstairs...and stared.

"Please?"

"No!"

"Please?"

"No!"

"Please?"

"No!"

Despite all four being asleep, the interaction of 'Please' and 'No' continued as the fan rotated. Jackie rubbed the back of his head, the magic of the pendants' 'normality' fighting with his own sense of strangeness about the situation...if only because Uncle was participating. "Umm...wakey wakey?" he asked, knocking on the door with the hand not holding Uncle's coffee.

"Please?" all three fillies begged as they stirred awake, tumbling off the fan and onto the bed in succession.

"No!" Uncle replied firmly as he slipped out of bed just ahead of the fillies' landing, slipping his glasses back on as he accepted the cup. "Thank you, Jackie." He took a slow sip.

Jackie stared from Uncle to the fillies. "...we are far too used to them," he mumbled idly.

"Says the one influenced by the pendants," Uncle pointed out.

"What are they asking for, anyway?" Jackie asked curiously.

"We wanna pet!" Apple Bloom squealed eagerly.

"Uncle said no!" Uncle countered firmly. "Repeatedly!"

"Why?" Jackie asked curiously. "I thought pets were good for teaching responsibility?"

"Pfeh!" Uncle countered as he sipped his coffee. "Uncle not think fillies ready for responsibility, and has no intention of bringing in pet that will become his responsibility!" He gestured at the fillies. "Uncle already has that in triplicate!"

"Uncle," Jackie chided, "you shouldn't compare them to pets..."

"Until fillies talked, that's what Uncle thought they were!" Uncle complained back, heading downstairs for breakfast.

Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo glanced at each other and grinned widely. "Light~bulb!" they chorused together.


The following day, Uncle was surprised to discover that the fillies were not in their bed together. Apparently, they'd decided to wake up early. Groaning, he got to his feet and made his way downstairs. Seeing a hot cup of coffee, Uncle happily took a sip. "Considerate," he murmured. He then paused. "When did fillies learn to make coffee?" After a thought, he remembered their reaction to his comments about responsibility. "Maybe trying be more responsible?"

At that moment, he heard an unearthly whimper from the library. "That's not good." Turning, he walked in...only to frown at the sight. "Apple Bloom...Sweetie Belle...Scootaloo..." he stated slowly, glowering down at the fillies.

The three fillies turned to look up at him, knowing they were in trouble.

"Why is hellhound in Uncle's shop?" he demanded firmly.

"We...we wanted to show we could take care of a pet," Scootaloo offered.

"And rule of magic using?" Uncle asked.

"We did it right!" Apple Bloom pointed out, indicating the bindings in the circle. "He can't do nothin' but what we tell him and escape from bein' hurt. He even helped us make ya coffee!"

Uncle paused with the cup to his lips, carefully setting it down. Was wondering why coffee so tasty today, he thought to himself. He then pointed to the hellhound, which was sitting atop a bookshelf, huddled into itself and whimpering. "And why hellhound there?"

"Umm...he doesn't like hugs?" Sweetie Belle suggested, looking somewhere between offended and perturbed.

Uncle's palm met his face. "Aiyah..." he moaned. "Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo...you three are creatures of good magic. Hellhound is creature of dark magic. While not inherently evil, good chi is painful to touch for dark magic creatures. If you three touch hellhound, he hurts."

All three fillies eyes went wide in shock. "Then...then we can never pet Flopsie?" Apple Bloom whimpered.

"Send him home," Uncle instructed firmly.

Crying, the three fillies reversed the summoning circle, sending the hellhound back to its own dimension, dispelling the circle in the process.

Uncle stared down at the sorrowful fillies. He finally sighed. "Uncle will have non-demonic coffee," he stated firmly. "Then...we visit pet shop, where Uncle will pick pet that won't be troublesome."

All three fillies gasped happily.


Uncle relaxed easily as he watched the three fillies playing with their new pet, a hamster named Rhino, for some reason. The little brown and white ball of fluff rolled happily around in his hamster ball while Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle raced around after him, the pair of fillies just as eager for safe interaction as the hamster. Scootaloo, meanwhile, was busy constructing a hamster tube maze that ran all along the walls and ceiling without disrupting the normal business of the shop. Uncle was content with this, seeing that the fillies had the pet they wanted and he didn't have to lift a finger.

"Do not over excite Rhino!" Uncle cautioned. "He is only tiny hamster!" Seeing Sweetie Belle's eyes light up, Uncle sat up quickly. "One more thing! No enchanting pets!"

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