• Published 12th Apr 2016
  • 15,146 Views, 12,615 Comments

Three More Things! - Tatsurou

Uncle Chan tries to balance running an antique shop, fighting demons, and being a Chi Wizard with being a loving Uncle to his nephew, his somewhat removed niece...and three little ponies who drive him straight up the wall.

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Crazy Customers

Uncle had noticed the influence that the three fillies had on the customers who came into the shop. When they made an effort to be adorable, even the hardest dealer turned to goo, and Sweetie Belle at least seemed to have an instinct for just the right time to be adorable, with Apple Bloom and Scootaloo following suit.

What Uncle hadn't noticed or really thought about was how his customers changed as a result of their presence. After all, antique collectors were unusual to begin with, and Uncle was no exception. It didn't occur to him that the presence of the three magical creatures in his care drew some of the more...unusual members of his clientele like moths to flame. Still, they were good customers, so Uncle didn't really think much about it.

Besides, it made for good stories.

It was just after sundown and Uncle was getting ready to put the fillies to bed when the bell rang to indicate someone had entered the shop via the front door. Inwardly, he winced, realizing he'd forgot to flip the sign to 'Closed' earlier. Sighing, he made his way back down to the shop, the fillies trundling after him curiously in their usual manners: Scootaloo on her cloud, Apple Bloom on her hooves, and Sweetie Belle on his head.

As he reached the shop, he saw the potential customer. She was a rather well endowed young blonde woman wearing a uniform Uncle didn't recognize, and dark sunglasses over her eyes. "Can I help you?" he asked calmly.

The young woman jumped, startled, and turned to face him. She started to open her mouth to speak, but instead stared right at Scootaloo. Walking right up to her, she began to stroke the tiny pegasus' mane ever so gently. Scootaloo, for her part, leaned into it happily.

Uncle cleared his throat irritably. "Uncle owns antique shop, not petting zoo!"

"S-sorry!" the woman apologized, jumping back. "I don't mean to disturb you. I was just in the area on business when I remembered that my Mast-" She paused, running her tongue over her teeth as she searched for the right word. "Dàshī's birthday is coming up," she concluded. "I wanted to get him something as a special present to curry favor." She glanced away. "Maybe he'll finally start calling me by name," she grumbled under her breath. Looking back up, she continued. "Anyway, this...felt like the right place to shop."

Uncle looked at her for a time, then shrugged. "Very well. Look around. Maybe see something you like?"

Nodding, the woman began to peruse the shop. She examined several artifacts carefully without touching, but eventually moved on. She paused, however, at an ancient looking sword. "This..." she began, plainly drawn to the weapon.

"You have interesting tastes," Uncle offered, coming up behind her. "Sword has very interesting and wicked history. Once belonged to Vlad the Impaler. Very wicked weapon...yet legend say blade is blessed. Most unusual."

The woman smiled widely. "Oh, Master will definitely love to have this..." Under her breath, she whispered, "...again..."

Not hearing the last word, Uncle nodded. "Let us discuss price, then. Come." Taking the sword from the wall, Uncle carried it to the counter.

After a quick negotiation, the young woman paid full price for the antique, fishing dollars out of her money pouch from in amongst a great deal of pounds. Taking the sword, she began to make her way out...pausing to pet Scootaloo again.

"Why spend so much time petting Scootaloo?" Uncle asked curiously. "No pet Apple Bloom or Sweetie Belle?"

The woman paused, flustered. "There's just...something about her," she replied softly. "A...certain kinship. I can't really explain it." With that said, and a gentle pet to each of the other fillies, she left the shop.

Uncle turned the sign to 'Closed' locking the door. "Nice lady," he praised. "Fillies can learn from her how to act properly." From outside, a strange scream could be heard. Shrugging, Uncle lit an incense enchanted with his magic to ward away the undead. "Hope she knows how to use sword. Will likely help her make it back to her Dàshī if need such aid. Now, bedtime story."

With that, he led the fillies back to bed as he moved to select a story.

Another day, Uncle was at work in the shop, filling another shelf with unusual items from around town that the fillies had picked up. Having determined that they had magical properties, he was keeping them in the back for those aspects of his clientele who weren't looking for antiques. After all, for those in the know he was also a Master Chi Wizard, and sometimes those who came to his shop were seeking those services, rather than antiques.

As he worked, the bell chimed as a new customer came in. Turning, Uncle started to smile, only to frown. The young silver haired man who entered did not look to be the sort interested in antiques. However, the bat wing shaped key chain resting on the compass visibly glowed to Uncle's vision, showing that it was magic of some sort, meaning they were looking for something. Uncle was not overfond of young magic users, as they had a strong tendency towards being reckless.

When the young man looked up from his magical compass, however, uncle revised his opinion. His steel blue eyes showed great wisdom for his age, and a hard resolve. Plainly, this was a mage warrior, not a wizard. Those were much better to deal with young when they were learning responsibility, rather than old when they thought they knew everything. "Welcome to Uncle's Antiques," Uncle greeted warmly. "What are you looking for today-"


Uncle covered his face as the inevitable happened.

"...not being knocked over by a pegasus on a runaway cloud," the young man responded, getting back to his feet. He playfully mussed Scootaloo's mane. "Watch where you're going next time, squirt," he chided. He then looked up at Uncle. "There's something I need here, and...I think it's here somewhere. An...unusual item?"

Nodding, Uncle gestured to the shelf. "My wards bring many unusual items in this week."

The young man looked over the shelf, then pointed at a small green block. "That one," he said firmly.

"Powerful magic inside," Uncle replied. "Not let go of easily, especially with magic unidentified."

The young man offered a full looking satchel. Uncle peered into it, then shook his head, as he only saw yellow and blue baubles that had no value to him. The young man then offered a different satchel, holding various shards, stones, gems, and crystals of different materials, each containing unique and powerful magic that could easily be put to use in Uncle's magic research. "This will do," Uncle replied, taking a handful and handing over the small block.

"Thanks," the young man replied. "Took me a while to find those...glad I won't find anymore here."

"Good luck on your journey, young warrior," Uncle replied warmly as the young man left. He shook his head as he turned back to his shop. "What is with young people wearing so many belts and zippers?" he grumbled under his breath.

As the bell once more rang, Uncle looked up from teaching the three fillies to read. Standing in the entrance was a tall, pale skinned, black haired, red eyed man dressed as a butler. He stepped calmly and peacefully into the shop, but his very presence gave Uncle the willies. "W-welcome to Uncle's Antiques," he greeted nervously. "Looking for something special?"

"You could say that," the man replied softly. He pointed at a shelf where a jeweled ring rested, a recent acquisition that Uncle had painstakingly restored, focused around a single bright blue gem. "That, specifically."

"Ah!" Uncle murmured happily. "Is centuries old. Very precious." He gently lifted it off the shelf.

"Price is no issue," the man murmured, setting a satchel of gold and silver coins of varying age on the counter. As he did so, he reached over to gently stroke Scootaloo's mane as she nuzzled up to him like a cat. For some reason, he found this highly amusing.

"Why is it you want ring so badly?" Uncle asked as he made the exchange.

"This ring is very important to My Lord," he explained, "and yet...he is constantly losing, misplacing, or damaging it, and it always falls to me to fix it. A situation most easy to repair if one looks through time, rather than space." He gazed at the gem appreciatively as it caught the light. "You do very good work. Your high recommendations were well earned. I am glad I directed it to you for this."

Uncle shivered, deciding he didn't want to know anymore. Scootaloo, however, was plainly curious. "How you do dat?" she asked eagerly, all three fillies having started to develop more of a vocabulary by now.

The man chuckled softly as he brushed his hair back from in front of his eyes. "A butler who can't do this much isn't worth his salt, whoever he works for...My Lady," he replied gently. "It is amazing, what one learns looking through time."

"I'm no lady!" Scootaloo complained, blowing a raspberry in protest much to Uncle's terrified surprise.

The butler smiled softly. "Perhaps in another life..." he answered, stepping out of the shop and vanishing from sight.

Uncle shook all over as he began researching anti-demon spells for his shop. Not that they'd do any good if that one showed up again, but he had to calm down somehow...

Author's Note:

Idea suggested by Foxwing.

Bonus points if you can correctly identify each customer.

Extra bonus points if you catch the references to my other stories. None are PWNY stories.

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