The Savage
Hak Foo stood silently in the darkness of the chocolate factory, waiting when Jackie Chan showed up. He had seen the man visiting the factory earlier, and was certain it was in search of the Talisman, now identified to be the Pig Talisman. As such, Hak Foo had slipped in to search the entire facility, intimidating what few security personnel were there into not crossing him. He had found nothing, however, and had instead decided to wait for Chan to show up so he could grill the man for information. He idly wondered if he should use real fire.
As he saw the man enter, Hak Foo smiled softly. Once Chan approached the chocolate molds, he stepped out of the shadows. "Seeking a Talisman?" he asked grimly, flipping one of the chocolates in one hand, reveling in the shock and fear appearing on Chan's face. He held up the chocolate. "Only counterfeits here." Inwardly he grinned, certain that Chan would know him on sight and that sheer intimidation would be all it took to make him break and talk, but ready to add a bit of physical force-
"Do I...know you?" Chan asked curiously.
Hak Foo's eyes narrowed irritably. He had a reputation, and it was upsetting when the mere sight of him didn't cause his foes to cower. Still, perhaps his name... "I am Hak Foo, the last human you will ever lay eyes upon." When this still did not create the fear reaction he'd hoped for, he hurled the chocolate he was holding like a shuriken, making the vat of chocolate behind Chan burst as he just barely evaded. When Chan turned to face the vat, Hak Foo began flipping forward, ready to tear Chan apart until he talked, and then finish the job.
"Mantis Boxing Style!"
"Serpent Pouch Technique!"
"Float Like Lotus Blossom!"
"Sting Like Scorpion!"
The sequence of Hak Foo's signature attacks left Chan staggered back, clutching his stomach. Hak ended the sequence with his foot in Chan's face. As Chan looked up, he named the technique. "Flamingo Stance."
Chan showed surprising ingenuity and courage as he grabbed the extended foot. "These little piggies went to market!" He threw the foot into a spin.
Hak Foo followed through with the spin, rotating his entire body in the air before landing, calling out as he did, "Flying Dragon Corkscrew! Cat Lands on Feet, and Bares Claws!"
The exchange of blows, counter blows, and named attacks continued, showing Hak Foo that Chan was skilled, but had not faced one at his level in a long enough time that his skills in true combat had atrophied. Were he at his best, he would have proved a true challenge for the Black Tiger, possibly even proved victorious. As it was, it wasn't long before Hak Foo was grinding his feet into the man's back. "Black Tiger crushes Chan."
"Jackie!" three voices called out in fear.
Hak Foo turned, spotting four girls and an old man. This was nothing new to him. Since he started hiring himself out, he'd frequently dealt with the families of those he'd been sent after. Three of the girls were closer to him than the fourth girl and the old man, moving forward somewhat aggressively. It was oddly amusing...and somehow adorable. Hak Foo lifted his head, glaring down dismissively at the trio. "Take your leave," he growled out. "This does not involve you...yet."
...he somehow felt he had to look a lot higher than normal to look down at one of the trio, but paid it no mind.
"You don't scare us!" the redhead growled angrily, her voice having a distinctive southern drawl.
"You get off Jackie!" the second girl with paler hair - blonde, perhaps? - cried out, her voice high pitched and more cultured.
"Before we make you!" the third girl with darker hair - was it black? - snapped out, her voice sounding tough.
"What's a Jackie?" Chan mumbled in a dazed tone, plainly still shell shocked from the assault.
Hak Foo blinked a few times as he tried to process just what he was being confronted with, something about what he was seeing difficult to process. Am I...dealing with Powerpuff Girl cosplayers? Unable to think what else he could be dealing with, he steeled himself. "I am here to recover the Talisman and crush Jackie Chan. I will deal harshly with anyone who gets in my way." He took an angry step forward, intending to intimidate them into backing off.
He could see the girls shaking in fear...but to his surprise, they matched his forward step.
"Hearts of warriors you have," he offered softly. "Then I will treat you as such. Crocodile Catches Unwary Cubs!" With that roar he rushed forward, his arms spread wide to seize and crush the girls in a single blow.
Before he'd even closed half the distance, the old man had blurred between him and the girls, and sharp pain shot through his entire body emanating from his groin. The old man stared up at him, eyes like gimlets staring cold hate into his own. "Papa Wolf pulls no punches," the old man hissed out before spinning, striking Hak right on the temple with a roundhouse kick that sent him flying across the room.
Hak Foo coughed in pain as he extracted himself from the brick wall he'd impacted against, clutching at his head and groin. He quickly shook it off, regaining control of himself as he faced off against the old man. "You caught me off guard. You will regret that."
"I have regretted a lot of things in my life," the old man offered softly. "Many decisions I'm left wondering if I should have done otherwise, ones that keep me up at night, days I will never forget as I pray for reassurance that I did the right thing. Breaking a punk who threatens my little girls?" He spat to the side and took a wide legged combat stance. "It's just Monday."
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Hak Fu is here
And nothing else needs be said.
7756513
Word.
Just take a moment and let this line echo in your mind in uncle's voice. Uncle is awesome.
This could be completely unrelated but if anyone watched Shaolin showdown back in the day then you would know omi shouted silly names for his moves too? Could it be that the writer from Shaolin showdown wrote hak fu lines?
The day that Uncle unleashed his fury upon Hak Fu was the singular important day of their lives but for him...
Love the comparison to the Powerpuff girls for CMC. Think that was their original inspiration considering Applebloom's bow, Scootaloo's Buttercup 'tude. Still awesome.
As for Uncle, I don't pity the Fu when Uncle hocks him out of there.
It was then Hak Fu realized he fucked up.
Uncle is a true papa, nothing gets near his angels if he can help it. And oh he can certainly stop a lot of things in their tracks!
7756580 ...Huh. Come to think of it, there is a certain resemblance... and yeah, can't wait to see Uncle lay a snack down on Hak Fu.
7756558 Xiaolin Showdown?!
I used to love that show! 
Then we moved and no longer receive that channel.
Live and let die!
FIGHT!!!
...............Welp, time to break out the popcorn. Anyone want some?
7756611 Hey I'll take some....what no butter?
7756611 got any kettle corn popcorn?
LLLLLLLET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This must be played here.
7756508 Indeed. Finally!
7756558 I miss that show.
7756660
BRING IT ON!!!!
7756624
Sure. Here you go.
7756660
Kettle Popcorn is over there.
7756704 why thank you
7756582 In the truest of ways that only pain well tell him.
I don't know what's funnier: that that's how Hak Foo's mind tried to process the CMCs, or that he actually knows what the PPG are.
(BTW, should've pointed this out like, a while ago, but his name is Hak Foo, not Hak Fu.
)
Also: GO UNCLE!!
Yowling tiger becomes Uncle's new coat
Badass Alert!
No, seriously, this was the best part of the chapter in my eyes, and likely one of my top five favorite moments of the story when it's all said and done.
Also, I've been considering the Dog Talisman, and what the likely price Uncle will pay is. It has a few possibilities as far as I can see... none of them minor. Immortality, or, to be more specific, Eternal Youth, isn't something one just stumbles upon. *Neatly ignores DBZ.* There is going to a be a very steep price.
Forgoing sacrificing the blood of the innocents, this thing is likely doing one of three things.
It's refining Uncle's remaining life-force, making it stronger, but also making his body use it much faster as a result. The longer he wears the Dog Talisman, the less time he'll have to live a natural life.
Or it has forced his body to operate as well as it would have in his prime, but the longer he remains in this state, the greater the stress it applies to his physically aged and weakened body.
Or he'll permanently lose access to a percentage of his chi once he takes it off, said percentage being what fueled the Talisman.
My money's on option three.
How often does that happen?
7756582 He ain't realized it yet methinks.
7756750 Pretty sure the correct answer is "Yes."
7756750
Careful. One of your idle comments has already set plans in motion for a cameo chapter. Do you want it to be revealed Hak Foo is secretly a huge fan of Power Puff Girls Z?
striking Hak right on the Templ with a
1. Temple. It should be anyways because I got the building when I googled it.
Hak Foo went in balls deep and Uncle repaid in kind but at least we're seeing balls to the walls a badass Uncle. I can bearly hold my excitement in to see what papa bear dishes out. Uncle isn't at his weekest today so Hak Foo better watch out.
7756852 think about what against them, and they live in the same spot the enemy knows..
7756611
I'll take some with butter on top. I also have sodas and candy if anyone wants some. Let the @$$ kicking begin.
Go Uncle!
7756893 Well, it IS the best version they've come up with
oohhh Hak Foo gunna regret this one. Uncle gunna leave him in wheelchair eating through straw and crapping into bag.
Uncle badass
Another enjoyable chapter. Good job.
Papa Wolf pulls no punches indeed.
BEST ONELINER EVER! Uncle: Badass.
7756513 Yes there is
Admit it, you were thinking it.
7757700 Credit where it's do, yeah you're right.
Chapter Sixty Six
"Aiyah!"
Chapter Count: 0
Total Count: 35
"One More Thing!"
Chapter Count: 0
Total Count: 66
The experience of age combined with Talisman-granted energy of youth and a fanfic site that'll allow for more content freedom than your typical Saturday Morning cartoon...
Hak Foo is F*****
Welp... *conjures couch-sized bowl of popcorn, Discord-style*
Time t' enjoy th' show, I guess.
7758163
Share some of that popcorn? Because Hak Foo is about to get wrecked by an old man most likely.
Uncle used GROIN ATTACK!!! It's SUPER EFFECTIVE!!!!
*Hands Hak Foo a Darwin Award* Here, enjoy it in the few moments you have before your world in an unending stream of pain.
*Pulls out pocky* This is gonna be an epic beat down.
Hak Foo is gonna be Hacked and F
ed up when Uncle gets done with him.
Also: Where's Audrey??? I can just imagine Hak Foo getting a tap on the shoulder and turning to see Audrey looming over him and ready to bite down after Apple Bloom gets threatened.
7758424 Of course I'll share. That's why my popcorn bowl is so big. Everyone can have some.
This Discordian bowl will never ever run out... unless I wish it to do so. Which I don't.
7758852
Maybe the tall one is Apple Bloom on top of Audrey?
7759113
Scootaloo on Cumulo.
7759128 I was wondering if you'd chime in. That was my other guess, but I wasn't sure if she'd be flying that high at that moment. Thanks!
7756508 AND MOTHER-FUCKING PAPA WOLF IS ALL UP IN HIS BID-NESS