• Published 12th Apr 2016
  • 14,954 Views, 12,558 Comments

Three More Things! - Tatsurou



Uncle Chan tries to balance running an antique shop, fighting demons, and being a Chi Wizard with being a loving Uncle to his nephew, his somewhat removed niece...and three little ponies who drive him straight up the wall.

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Final Contest

A pie eating contest.

A pie eating contest.

Jackie couldn't believe that this last Talisman hunt had ended at a pie eating contest. He rubbed his forehead as he mentally went over how it had happened.

They'd tracked the Talisman to where it was hidden according to the inscriptions, only to find it wasn't there anymore. When they tracked down who had removed it, they discovered it was as part of a family tradition to bake a clean, odd-shaped rock into a pie as some sort of traditional prank on whoever found it. The man who'd done so had done it for his ill daughter, who was born under the sign of the Tiger. Unfortunately, she hadn't made it to try the pie. Unable to look at it anymore, he'd donated the pie to the pie eating contest.

As such, all they knew was that the Talisman was in one of the pies at the contest. This meant the only way for them to get the Talisman was to enter the contest so they could search the pies. Jackie intended to just search each pie with a fork, while the girls intended to actually eat their way through, enjoying the contest itself. Jackie sighed to himself once more as he settled on the stage. At least their only competition was an old man who could barely keep his dentures in his mouth.

At least, that was so until Tohru sat down at the opposite end of the table, right next to Apple Bloom and Audrey. "Bad day..." Jackie groaned to himself. So much for a relaxed hunt.

At the whistle, everyone began to eat. The old man went one careful bite at a time from his pie. Jackie went pie by pie, stabbing his fork into them all over in an attempt to find stone. Tohru lifted a pie in each hand, shoving them into his mouth and devouring them, pausing just long enough after each one to search his mouth with his tongue before swallowing. Jade ate rapidly in forkfuls, as did Sweetie Belle with multiple floating forks. Scootaloo buried her face in each pie as she got to them, devouring them eagerly and quickly becoming quite messy.

The spectacle, however, was Apple Bloom. It started when she struck the edge of the first pie tin with her hoof, causing the pie to hop out and over her head. Opening her mouth wide, she caught it in her mouth, searched for stone with her tongue, then swallowed whole. Even as she was swallowing, she had struck the next tin, sending that pie after the first one. She repeated the pattern endlessly, it eventually looking like some sort of strange rhythm game. At one point, she even struck three tins in rapid sequence before catching the pies in her mouth one by one. This caused a huge round of applause from the audience, and drew the attention of the other competitors.

Jade quickly attempted to duplicate the feat, but she only succeeded in splattering pie all over her face. "Stupid OP pony magic," she grumbled under her breath in a half-hearted pout.

Tohru watched in amazement for a few moments before redoubling his efforts, having apparently become bitten by a competitive bug.

As the pace reached a fever pitch, the old man suddenly spoke up. "There's somethin' crunchy in mah pie." Reaching into his mouth, he pulled out his dentures...and the Tiger Talisman, caught between the teeth.

"Go!" Jackie ordered quickly, leaping to the table and rushing to grab the Talisman.

Apple Bloom's strike to the last pie tin was off because of that, sending the pie flipping multiple times in the air before landing in Audrey's open mouth. Tohru started to stand up, only to freeze as Apple Bloom was between him and Jackie. This allowed the whole group to get away as Tohru was stopped as the winner of the contest, with a new record of 47 pies.


In Valmont's office, Shendu was most upset. "After nine centuries, all 12 Talismans have finally been recovered," he growled viciously. "And yet, I only possess two. The Chans possess ten! You have failed, Valmont."

"Not yet, Shendu," Vlamont countered. "We need only discover the location of Section 13, and recover the Talismans from there."

"And how, pray tell, do you intend to manage that before the new year?" Shendu hissed angrily. "If the Year of the Dragon ends before I acquire all 12 Talismans, their powers will seal themselves, and I will be unable to complete my resurrection! If that happens, you can kiss the treasure of Shin Shi Wa goodbye!"

"For a dozen more years, anyway," Valmont observed calculatingly.

"For much longer than that," Shendu countered. "Stars attuned to Dark Chi are coming close to an alignment. When that alignment occurs, it will alter the balance of chi across the entire planet for many years to come. If the Talismans' power is sealed during that time, they will not unseal for another nine centuries! And unlike demons like myself, you lack that much time to wait. And with how I have seen human technology and chi magic advance since I was bound to this form, I seriously doubt I will be able to succeed nine centuries hence."

"Then it's a good thing Chan's not off the plane yet," Valmont observed dryly. "Hak Foo is spying on the old Chi Wizard's shop, with orders to follow Chan when he arrives and leaves. He always brings the Talismans there first, so the old man can determine their magic. We will discover the location of Section 13 by following Chan when he goes to lock the Talisman away." He grinned wickedly. "Failing that, we shall simply bring him here and...extract the information we need. I know a few specialists in that regard..."

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