• Member Since 1st Nov, 2017
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

TheArcticWolf


They say I went insane. What they don't realize is that I was always insane, I was just better at hiding it then.

Graveyard
83

The guy I found this on was brilliant!

Top 66 Most Annoying Things to Do In an Elevator

1. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.

2. Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

3. Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.

4. Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you're on.

5. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"

6. Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"

7. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.

8. Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on; ask if they have an appointment.

9. Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.

10. Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.

11. Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

12. Ask, "Did you feel that?"

13. Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.

14. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!"

15. Swat at flies that don't exist.

16. Tell people that you can see their aura.

17. Call out, "Group Hug!" and then enforce it.

18. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"

19. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"

20. Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

21. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "You're one of THEM!" and back away slowly.

22. Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.

23. Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.

24. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

25. Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on".

26. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is MY personal space!"

27. Put police tape in front of the door before entering.

28. Fart loudly when there are only two of you in the elevator. Argue vehemently that it wasn't you.

29. Do the "potty dance" all the way to the elevator door. Upon arrival, sigh and look greatly relieved.

30. Throw a rave.

31. Place potted plants and water fountains at strategic locations in the lift. When people ask what you are doing, tell them you "won't ride an elevator that's not fung shwei."

32. Greet everyone getting on with a warm handshake and ask them to call you "Admiral".

33. Hum the first six notes of the "It's a small world" over and over again.

34. Lean over to another rider and whisper 'Noogie patrol coming!'"

35. Have a heated debate with yourself.

36. Bring a melon onto the elevator. Try to sell it to the other passengers.

37. Drum on every available surface.

38. Write a big X on the elevator floor, and hand out "pirate" maps to everyone as they enter.

39. Give psychotherapy to the other passengers.

40. Greet everyone coming on as if they were your best friend. Use the same name for all of them.

41. Say "ring ring," then pull a banana out of your pocket and start talking into it.

42. Propose to the other passengers.

43. Challenge people to duels.

44. Sell Girl Scout cookies.

45. Come on looking really scared, and say to another passenger..."I'm kinda nervous...this is my first time flying..."

46. Any time someone enters the doors, recoil in horror.

47. Shout "Food fight!"

48. Every time someone else talks, angrily shout: "Some people are trying to sleep here!"

49. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to pull the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

50. Lick one of the buttons. Tell the other passengers you're sick and tired of people stealing your food the second you turn your back.

51. Elevators were practically MADE for river dance!

52. Bring a snowboard onto the elevator. Put it on. Every time the lift goes up or down, shout "WOO-YEAH! This is what I call sick air!"

53. Shave.

54. Every time the elevator goes down, loudly scream "OH MY GOD!! We're all gonna die! This is it! This is it! It's over! IT'S OVER!!" Look relieved when it stops moving. When you begin to drop again, repeat.

55. Ask the other passengers if they want to see your glass clown collection.

56. Practice your kung fu.

57. Make race car noises when people get on and off.

58. Ask everyone on the elevator: "Are you my mother?"

59. Fly a model airplane.

60. Do yoga.

61. Play the accordion

62. Enter the elevator with nothing on your head. Individually ask everyone if they like your hat.

63. Bring a rocking chair. Sit and knit.

64. Recite gangsta rap lyrics in monotone.

65. Enter with a shovel, and attempt to "dig for treasure."

66. Read "Green Eggs and Ham" at the top of your lungs. Sound out every word

If you are obsessed with fanfiction or fimfiction, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever had a dream involving a fictional character (not necessarily a sick dream), copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever done the evil laugh copy this onto your profile.

If you think you're insane because you say so, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever pushed a door that says "pull" or vice versa, copy and paste this to your profile.

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you ever suffered from FanFiction or FimFiction withdrawl copy this into your profile!

If books are your life and you couldn't possibly live without them, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you want to be a writer someday, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are a MOVIE QUOTER, which means you go around quoting movies for fun, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you hope to write a bestseller someday, copy this into your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile(Not like there's anything else to do)

Pluto was declared no longer a planet on August 27, 2006, because it was "too small" and "off its orbit" for some scientists' likings. If you think Pluto should still be a planet, copy and paste this to your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!

If you have a profile, paste this on your profile.

If you think you should be able to watch what you want on TV without being called immature, copy and paste this in your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you like to write, copy/paste this into your profile

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you're still reading this copy and past this into your profile.

Feb
28th
2018

Folders · 11:10pm Feb 28th, 2018

Okay now that I've reached four favorites folders I'v realized that descriptions on my favorites folders would be very helpful in their rankings, so that's what I've done. I've also taken those stories that have a higher ranking out of the lower ranked favorites folders.

Read More

OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair, and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses, and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth, and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

RIP We shall remember you.

If you agree with this statement, copy/paste this on your profile:

Favorite Quotes

"Here we go six dollars, free shipping looks breakable." - My Dad

"I followed the instructions and set it on fire!!!" - My Dad

"Nowadays I can identify as anything. Today I identify as a shrub, which makes you insane for talking to me." - Anonymous

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity. And I'm not sure about the universe." - Albert Einstein

"Flattery won't save you!" - Joker

"You know what separates guys like you and me from the normal people? One really bad day" - Joker

“Sometimes life is like this tunnel. You can’t always see the light at the end of the tunnel, but if you keep moving, you will come to a better place.” - Uncle Iroh

"It's time you started asking yourself the big questions! Who are you, and what do you want!" - Uncle Iroh

"There comes a time when we all must grow up. When that time comes, it's important not to forget the lessons of our childhood, because our childhood is the greatest training one can ever have." - Sensei Wu

"You think I'm fighting for myself? That's why you'll never win! I'm not fighting for me I'm fighting for them! It's the very thing that makes us human." - Captain America

"The thought of losing you, why does that make me sad?" - Ultron

"Total Thaumic Reversal!" - Twilight Gyro Sparkle Nefarious

"Is that an Anti-Tank rifle? CRAP! That's an Anti-Tank sniper rifle!" - Sunset Shimmer

"And I'm sure in the words of oh so many of my brethren, what does this button do?" - Ratchet Gyro Sparkle

"If you harm one hair on her head I will kill you, even if I have to make you choke on my last functioning servo to do so." - Clank Gyro Sparkle

"Very well Demigod, meet a Goddess!" - Mi Amore Cadenza Princess of the Fire Nation and ruler of The Crystal Empire

"Thank you for opening me! Oh, here I go closing! Wheeeeeeeeeee!" - Unknown Robot Gate

"You can have this when you pry it from my cold dead hands, and even then good luck! For I will have glued it to my cold dead hands." - Soldier TF2

"This is a scale model of war. Every war ever fought right there in front of you! Because it's always the same. when you fire that first shot, no matter how right you feel, you don't know who's going to die! You don't know whose children are going to scream and burn! How many hearts will be broken? How many lives will be shattered? how much blood will spew until everybody does what they were going to do from the very beginning... SIT DOWN AND TALK!!!!" - The Twelfth Doctor

"Do Fairies have tails? More than that, do they even exist? Nobody knows for sure. So this guild is like them, an eternal mystery, an eternal adventure" - Makarov, Fairy Tail.

"You don't die for your friends, you live for them!" - Natsu Dragneel, Fairy Tail.

"Fear is not evil. It just tells you what your weakness is. And once you know what your weakness is, you can become stronger as well as kinder." - Gildarts, Fairy Tail

"Do you have any idea what it felt like to lose her? It felt like everything went white. Like everything I've ever known didn't matter anymore. I've realized... I can't live without Lucy!" - Natsu Dragneel, Fairy Tail.

"If it is to protect our family, be it the kingdom or the entire world... we would make anyone our enemy! That's what it means to be Fairy Tail!" - Natsu Dragneel, Fairy Tail.

"You never know how strong you are... until being strong is the only choice you have." - Gray Fullbuster, Fairy Tail

"There are people in this world that prefer solitude. But there is no one that can withstand it." - Makarov, Fairy Tail

"Take care of your friends because they are the most precious thing in the world." - Natsu Dragneel, Fairy Tail

"I will never give up... I will never give up!!! As long as I'm still breathing in this world... As long as I'm still standing... I will never give up!" - Natsu Dragneel, Fairy Tail.

"There are only three things in this world that are infinite the universe, human stupidity, and the number of Zubats in a cave." - Prof. Oak

"Dearest Humanity, we doth regret being otherworldly whoresons, we doth regret setting siege upon thy lands, but mostly of all we regret the Knight's Order tore asunder our knavish ranks!" -Sir Knight Avery Son of John

"Whenst I was conscripted into his Majesty's army we didst not have fanciful war wagons. We possessed sticks! Two sticks, and a rock for thy whole militia—and we had to share the rock! Set thy face in a goodly smile, my lad, the Lord will shine upon thou."
- Sir Knight Avery Son of John

“Gaze upon this steed. ‘Tis be several stone of heathen slaying, witch burning, sinner punishing, heretic quelling, DE-VINE intervention. Be with our Lord and Savior, he shall guide your journey” - Sir Knight Avery Son of John

Comments ( 164 )
  • Viewing 160 - 164 of 164

2768885
I won't, I'm confident that I'll have a new chapter out once a month at the very least, hopefully a lot more than that

2768864
That's okay I read Legacy so I'm good with erratic schedules, just don't let the story die please.

2768862
Was just reading a new fic when the notification popped up!

I'll be uploading new chapters as I finish them, I'm afraid I don't have a time frame yet though

2768861
wow you're quick. Also I'm really enjoying it so far, I hope it updates soon.

  • Viewing 160 - 164 of 164
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