Wings Spread
Ratso, Finn, and Chao wandered around the stadium together, enjoying some snacks and beverages as they did their best to look completely normal even as they explored to try and find the spot where the Pan'ku Box would respond, signifying Hsi Wu's Demon Portal. Despite their unique appearance, they weren't drawing all that much attention...except when they reacted strongly to the sight of a magical creature - ogre, troll, or satyr - wandering around doing the same. This was apparently quite the popular sporting event for whatever reason, drawing quite a number of peaceful non-humans to watch, which took some getting used to for the trio. "How are people not freaking out over all this?" Finn groaned in frustration after he'd had to stifle his reaction to an honest to goodness jorogumo manning the souvenir stall, selling shirts she claimed were made from her own silk.
"This is normal for everyone else," Ratso pointed out. "That's what Valmont said, anyway. We're the only ones who notice a difference since we were at the epicenter of that normal wave."
"It's certainly taking some getting used to for us," Chao grumbled, shivering as he rubbed his shoulders. The lady had been rather pretty and flirtatious, but seeing those extra eyes open in response to the query about 'her own silk' had freaked him out. "How does Valmont handle dating a girl who changes shape at will like that?"
"He's the boss," Ratso offered as though that sufficed for an explanation. As the trio approached the public restrooms, Ratso paused. "Hold this," He told Chao insistently, handing over the cotton candy he'd been eating to pull the Pan'ku Box out of his jacket, the extended prong glowing as the whole box vibrated. He slowly turned, and the box glowed brighter when he pointed it towards the door to the women's restroom.
"I'm...not so sure I'm comfortable with this," Finn murmured worriedly. "Are we...gonna have to go in there? What if there's new magical security to keep us out? Or to turn us into girls if we enter-"
A beam of light shot out from the Pan'ku Box to strike the symbol on the door denoting it as the entrance to the women's restroom, changing it into the keyhole symbol.
"Or you could be worrying for nothing, because we don't have to go in," Chao pointed out. "Looks like he's the one coming out."
"So the demon we were told is most suited to change," Ratso began carefully, "is going to be coming out of the women's water closet?"
Finn and Chao both blinked as they processed that. "So many jokes..." Finn murmured thoughtfully.
"That we really shouldn't make when the demon in question might hear," Chao added nervously as the Box flew out of Ratso's hands and embedded itself in the door before opening the portal.
A massive windstorm whipped up as the portal opened, and Hsi Wu stepped out. Between his whipping tail, his grey skin, his large ears, and his huge, bat-like wings, he resembled nothing so much as an ancient, wizened gargoyle. The three antennae raising from his head like blades quivered as he flexed his large claws. "Jokes, you say?" he hissed out, his red eyes glowing as he grinned, showing off all his teeth. "Do tell, do tell...I have an excellent sense of humor."
With how his fists clenched together to draw the wind back to him on 'excellent' as the Box dropped from its place, Finn was pretty certain actually telling any of the jokes would probably get him killed. Unfortunately, he didn't see any way out of it.
At that moment, the door to the restroom opened slightly, and Jade peaked out. "WAUGH!" she screamed out as she caught sight of Hsi Wu, quickly trying to slam the door shut.
Hsi Wu let out a strangled shriek of pain as the door slammed on his wriggling tail, trapping part of it. Desperately, he spread his wings and took to the air, trying to break free. However, Jade held the door fast.
"Apple Bloom! Sweetie Belle! Scootaloo!" Jade called out desperately. "We've got a demon at the door!"
"Right!" Sweetie Belle responded immediately, fishing a flute that seemed to shimmer with inner green fire from her saddlebags. "I just need to play this then."
"What about the banishment spell?" Jade asked worriedly.
"Treated the wood the flute is made of with the mixture as it was being shaped," Apple Bloom explained. "Spell should be inbuilt into the flute as is. Just chant while Sweetie plays!"
"Yu Mo Gui Gwai Fai Di Zao..." Jade chanted as instructed as Sweetie Belle started playing the flute, matching the notes to the cadence of Jade's chant. "Yu Mo Gui Gwai Fai Di Zao..."
Hsi Wu clutched at his head as the magic in the music struck him. It wasn't enough on its own to banish him, but it was rapidly draining his strength. If he didn't get away from it soon, he'd wind up sunk to the ground immobile, ripe for trapping and who knew what else! Acting quickly, he took the only action that was certain to get him free. Spinning around, he struck out with his claw and severed the last two feet of his own tail. He let out an angry shriek of pain as he came free. "You three!" he barked out. "Tell my sister that I will see about joining her after I have retrieved my tail...and tell our contact I consider his part of this endeavor complete. I will handle the rest myself!" With that said, he turned and took to the sky, flying as fast as he could to get out of range of the music.
"So...should we try and grab the tail?" Ratso asked curiously.
"Apple Bloom's in there," Finn hissed out. "Audrey and Tohru can't be far!"
"I'm not," Tohru growled from directly behind them.
"Scatter!" all three screamed out, dashing off in three different directions before Tohru could react.
Tohru groaned, bringing one hand to his face. "Grab then taunt...how did I forget that?"
Apple Bloom couldn't help but giggle as the four girls left the bathroom, Jade holding up the still wriggling severed tail since it writhed and sizzled if any of the fillies tried to touch it. "Well...now what?"
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The more things change, the more they stay the same.
How DO you stay so inspired!?
H: "REMEMBER WHEN YOU (made me) REMOVE MY TAIL?!"
Jade: "Can't you take a joke?"
H: "..."
*jumps to Jade screaming as she then explodes*
Oh the many Ranma 1/2 one can make about Hsi Wu from this chapter, I'm hoping Sans does one of the jokes in his puns when he reviews this chapter.
Very nice chapter, can't wait to see how Hsi Wu interacts with the modern world as well as Jade and the Crusaders.
Can't belive I'm about to say this.
Cry Tatsuro, and let slip the Sans of puns!!
GRILL IT!
8203349
Well, I would say the tail of a demon is one hell of magical ingredient, specially for sympathetic magic against that demon.
I'm just laughing at the way tohru goes grab then gloat
So many joke. SO MANY JOKES!
Apple Bloom's int here
1. In there.
Figures the capture would be cut off at the tail end of things again.
Now if they did open their mouths they could've really birthed quite a few jokes anyways.
It's almost as if some comedic force is taunting Tohru not grabbing the bad guys.
8203265 wait does this mean that he's happosais godchild panty?
8203398
It's a parody of an old saying
Remember, first you pillage then you burn
8203400
He was built up to be a badass... that doesn't conform to our-
I forgot how to make a joke. #ApacheAttackHelicopter
#FlyingOverOilFields
#DroppingDisgustingForeiners
A demon in the bathroom... I'm really not sure how to take that.
WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Obligatory joke shipping Jade and Hsi Wu about Jade getting some tail*
*Further joke regarding Hsi Wu and his soon-to-begin quest of chasing tail, ending in a confrontation with Jade where he does, eventually, get a piece of tail*
Almost thought Hsi Wu was gonna be banished instantly, beating Tchang Zu's record. This was hilarious.
8203255 Never thought of that
8203349 Mix it with a Hearty Lizard and make a Hearty Elixir! (That is, if you've played Breath of the Wild)
Gah!
That legit startled me.
Now....things play out a bit differently from the actual show, as they have been, and you and humam form Hsi Wu are totally gonna become a real thing, and yay.
Hopefully.
It'll happen. It's gotta.
It's gonna happen.....
This really reminds me of Ugly Americans.
I see some potential for a side story with a similar concept.
8203494
Not the sort of joke I was thinking about. Read the conversation between the trio of henchmen then you'll understand where my mind went.
Chapter One Hundred Nineteen
"Aiyah!"
Chapter Count: 0
Total Count: 46
"One More Thing!"
Chapter Count: 0
Total Count: 80
8203349 Too tough I think, might make a nice stew though.
8204232 has sweetie bell discovered meat again?
Look's like the Enforcers got lucky. Let's hope Hsi Wu doesn't want to hear the jokes in the future though.
Jade take the severed tail,get it stuffed and have it mounted over the fireplace
8203349
Considering how it sizzles when the girls touch it, clearly it's being girl-grilled already.
This chapter brought up something I haven't thought before. So now that mythical creatures can live out in the open, is there any racism between humanity and the creatures? I mean look at how hostile we are to our own species so I can only imagine how it is with all the different types of creatures there are, especially the more dangerous/evil ones.
media.giphy.com/media/ypXLSOW1hQ78A/giphy.gif
8205439 Yeah, it feels a bit more like they went to an alternate dimension more than they changed the world, sometimes.
Well, Horse Magic is involved, so I would think the Equestrian influence got people to play nice... and more cynically, I'd say that the existence of demons and demigods and an international smorgasbord of mythylogical creatures would disprove the Abrahamic religions pretty hard, so that'd solve a huge chunk of that problem...
Doh! Never forget the basics.
Two things.
1) Yeah. SO many jokes about where the portal is.
and 2) Chao, smart choice.
8204422
you read that story too?