• Published 12th Apr 2016
  • 14,952 Views, 12,558 Comments

Three More Things! - Tatsurou



Uncle Chan tries to balance running an antique shop, fighting demons, and being a Chi Wizard with being a loving Uncle to his nephew, his somewhat removed niece...and three little ponies who drive him straight up the wall.

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Final Deception

It didn't take long for Jade and the others to get Jackie away from Ratso and his goons. However, Jackie had bad news for them. "My other half...I think he plans to attack the Dark Hand en masse all by himself!"

"He could probably pull it off," Scootaloo pointed out dryly.

"But what if he kills someone?" Sweetie Belle asked worriedly. "If Jackie gets all the memories when they combine back together, he'll never be able to live with himself!"

"And what if he hurts Tohru?" Apple Bloom added. "Or if Tohru hurts him?"

"So we need to get to Section 13, put Nice Jackie's Talisman half into the vault for safe keeping, and call in the backup," Jade concluded. "Audrey, tell me you got one of your thorns on both Jackies."

"You can count on me like one two three," Audrey III sang out happily.

"But how do you plan to explain this to him?" Jackie asked as he gave Jade his Talisman half. "Augustus still doesn't believe in magic!"

"We could...have you stay outside?" Jade suggested thoughtfully. "Not mention the whole 'two of you' thing."

"But what if Gruff Jackie shows up while we're getting backup?" Sweetie Belle asked. "All well and good if he's okay, but our credibility will be shot."

Jade tapped her chin. "I...think I have an idea..."


Captain Black blinked in surprise as Jade ran into his office, followed by her cousins and Jackie. "Captain Black! Jackie's attacking the Dark Hand headquarters solo!"

Captain Black blinked for a time. "Uh...do you have your tenses crossed, or...?" He pointed to where Jackie was plainly in the office.

"Oh, not me!" Jackie offered sweetly. "My other half. The Tiger Talisman split me in two!"

Captain Black groaned. "Not more of this 'magic' nonsense..."

"RRGH!" Jade finally snapped. "It's not nonsense! There's magic all around you and you've been to blind to see it! The Talismans all have magic, the Dragon Talisman fireblasted you, the Rat Talisman led to a huge Cthuhlu vs Audrey Kaiju battle in San Fransisco Bay, ninjas made of living shadow have backed up the Dark Hand agents on numerous occasions, and my cousins are candy colored magical talking ponies from another dimension but you aren't even aware of it because they have magical pendants that make anyone who looks at them see them as normal, despite the fact one of them rides a tame cloud, one rides a singing plant out of a B horror film, and one's a freaking unicorn!" She took a few calming breaths. "What part of that sounds like nonsense?"

Captain Black chuckled as he ruffled Jade's hair. "Got quite the imagination on you, squirt," he observed playfully. "You ought to get into fiction. That sounds like it would make a good story(1)." He leaned back in his chair...then froze. "Jackie...how are you also over there?" He pointed to where Chan had just walked by with a tackle box.

The group spun. "My other half!" Jackie called out, rushing forward. "You're al-"

"Don't touch me!" Chan snarled, pushing him back. "I don't want to have anything to do with you ever again!"

Captain Black stepped up. "Alright, one of you tell me what's going on before you both go under-"

"Nap Time," Chan stated as he grabbed Captain Black's shirt, pulled him forward, and slammed his forehead into the other man's. Captain Black fell back, unconscious.

Jackie gasped in shock. "Knocking out our friend is not nice!" he called out chidingly.

"Oh shut up," Chan growled. "Now where's your half of the Tiger?"

"But I don't want to be one again!" Jackie complained.

"No more do I, but full payment's for ten, not nine and a half."

Jade gasped in shock. "You...you're stealing the Talismans to sell them to the Dark Hand?"

"And now you know why I knocked out Black here," Chan growled angrily. "He'd have kicked up the same fuss you all are."

"I can't let you do that!" Jackie spoke up, shifting into a combat stance. "If the Dark Hand gets all 12...bad things could happen!"

Chan spat to the side as he dropped the tackle box. "I get to beat you up, too? It must be my birthday." He too took a combat stance, one much more aggressive than Jackie had. "I'm going to enjoy this..."

As the four girls watched in shock, the two Jackies lunged for each other. Jackie fought more defensively than he normally did, apparently trying to make his opponent wear himself down and use the environment to his advantage, showing much more use of Aikido than he normally did. Chan, on the other hand, fought very aggressively, lunging in with powerful strikes in an attempt to disable or break his opponent, drawing heavily from Krav Maga. Despite the difference in styles, they continued to be evenly matched, the fight taking them all across the office and wrecking the furniture as it was used as makeshift weaponry.

Jade swallowed as she glanced between the fight, the tackle box, and her shoe. With luck, Chan put his half of the Talisman in there. If she could just put the Talisman back together-

"Vulture steals kill!" Hak Foo suddenly shouted out as he snatched the tackle box from the floor after dropping down from the ceiling, drawing the attention of everyone in the room. He then unlimbered what looked like Section 13 weaponry, apparently having liberated it before coming here. "Osprey snatches four fish!" he cried out as he fired a net from the weapon, trapping all four girls in it as they were yanked away. "Skunk discourages pursuit!" he proclaimed as he hurled what looked like a grenade into the room. It went off in a flash of light and released noxious smoke. As Jackie and Chan coughed and Audrey groaned weakly, Hak Foo spoke normally. "I'll be taking these girls...to make sure you two behave..."

"JACKIE!" all four girls called out despairingly as the smoke cleared, leaving Jackie and Chan alone in the chamber with a partially wilted Audrey and an unconscious Captain Black.



(1) Wrenched my shoulder just a bit here. :P

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