• Published 12th Apr 2016
  • 14,843 Views, 12,513 Comments

Three More Things! - Tatsurou



Uncle Chan tries to balance running an antique shop, fighting demons, and being a Chi Wizard with being a loving Uncle to his nephew, his somewhat removed niece...and three little ponies who drive him straight up the wall.

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The Cameos

Uncle lay back in his seat in First Class, his body being gently massaged by his chair as they flew back to San Francisco. At Apple Bloom's insistence, he'd taken the Dog Talisman off as soon as they were back on the plane...and the cost kicked in. Everything his body had been through while wearing the Talisman was now taxing both his physical energy and his chi. Had he not built up such huge stores of chi from his wizard training and study, he might well have wasted away as so much of his chi was rapidly directed to repairing the damage done. As it was, he was struggling to breathe and move. Apple Bloom had insisted that she and the others move to a different part of First Class so as not to disturb him, so he could rest easy with the flight attendants fetching whatever he needed.

Reaching out, he carefully lifted his cup of tea and took a small sip, trying to ignore the sippy-cup lid placed for his own safety in case of turbulence or his muscles failing him. Plainly, using the Dog Talisman was not something he should try with any frequency. However, he would recover...so in his mind, it was worth it. Though, probably not again for a long while. Being young was exhausting.

As he rested, however, he was distracted by a heated argument two empty rows in front of him. The man that had asked if Audrey was related to 'Mr. Mumbles' was on the same flight back, along with the lady he'd been travelling with. They were now arguing over something.

"I can't believe the place blew up before we even got there!" the man growled out angrily, throwing his hands up in the air in frustration. "Of all the inconsiderate gall!"

"It's not like we missed anything," the girl offered placatingly. "I mean, we were going to blow the chocolate factory up ourselves..."

"No less than they deserve for trying to poison me!" the angry man insisted.

"Snukikins, I don't think the mislabeling of those regular chocolates as lactose-free was intentional," the woman suggested affectionately. "Sneaking explosives onto an international flight - after getting you off the No-Fly list finally - and off the flight might have been a bit excessive. I mean, we could have just bought them there."

"Never trust foreign markets," the angry man grumbled. "Besides, it's the principle of the thing! We came all this way and we didn't even get to get vengeance ourselves! We're supposed to be the carriers of karma, not the world at large!" He crossed his arms, lowering his head. "Should have just borrowed the super-spy jet again..."

"The whole reason she got you off the no-fly list was because she didn't want us doing that again," the girl chided gently.

"But this whole trip has been such a waste!" the angry man proclaimed angrily. "Who knows what's happening at the bakery without us to ride hard on the idiots and nutcases we have working there?"

"Hmm...maybe I could come up with something to make the trip worth it?" the girl purred suggestively.

The man let out a surprised yelp. "Hey! What happened to keeping our displays of affection less public?"

"These couples cocoons I sprung for come with a soundproof dome," the girl purred hungrily. "Now...let's see about this 'Mile High Club' I've heard so much about, shall we?"

As the dome closed over those seats, Uncle let out a long sigh. Even when it wasn't happening to him, being young was exhausting!


Hak Foo stared up at Valmont from his kneeling position, struggling not to wince from the pain of his injuries. He knew this would not be a pleasant interchange. Valmont finally spoke up. "Hak Foo, do you have an explanation for how exactly you failed in your mission? And how you came to be so injured as a result?"

Hak Foo swallowed as he felt Tohru's gaze boring into his skull from across the room. "I...I'd rather not say," he offered lamely.

Valmont's frown deepened. "Hak Foo, I am giving serious consideration to shifting your payscale to on commission, with payment on successful completion of missions."

Hak Foo felt himself begin to sweat. He needed the steady income of a retainer desperately. "...you won't believe me," he offered hopefully. He had only managed to come up with one way to explain what had happened without mentioning Tohru, and it sounded absurd even to him.

Valmont gestured to the statue behind him. "My present client is a talking, fire-breathing statue who lends us ninjas made of living shadow for backup force. Our targets are magical Talismans. My credulity stretches quite far."

Hak Foo sighed, finally forced to give his 'explanation'. "I was defeated soundly by Splinter and the Power Puff Girls."

Valmont blinked. "...I admit, that's the last thing I expected you to say. I'm not entirely sure..."

"Master," Tohru spoke up as he got his suppressed laughter under control, "the Chans do have access to the Rat Talisman, and it's magic to animate the inanimate."

Valmont sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "There is that, I suppose. Dismissed, Hak Foo. And I expect much better performance in the future."

Nodding, Hak Foo went to his quarters. Once there, he made a note that his exercise routine the next day had to be much more intense. Tonight's workout, however, had to be cancelled. He needed...therapy.

Going to his freezer, he grabbed a gallon of Fudge Ripple ice cream, then sat down in front of the TV. Sticking in a DVD, he watched and listened as the show began to play.

As he watched, tears ran down his cheeks. "Kaoru-chan...doushite?" he whimpered softly.


Apple Bloom stared from the Dog Talisman to her 'nerve restoration' potion. She knew she was on the verge of a breakthrough, and could only hope she would get the one she wanted. She had a few ingredients arranged to add to the potion, and wasn't sure what she would need. However, recognizing the runes from the back of the Dog Talisman from the books she'd done her research in for what should have been a youth potion had given her a crazy idea.

As such, she lit the burner under the potion vial, waited for it to start to bubble...and added a few hairs she'd gathered from the tail of a puppy dog (painlessly to the pup, of course).

She watched as she saw the potion change colors, beginning to glow. "It's...it's almost there...maybe...?" Carefully, she added a few snips taken from the garden, and a tiny amount of snail trail slime. Before her eyes, the glow of the potion started to blaze...and the vial began to shake. "Unstable? I need to balance it, but how...?" Thinking quickly, she grabbed a teaspoon of sugar and a pinch of cinnamon, tossing them into the vial. Not sure what else to do for the last ingredient, she focused her chi into her pendant, drew out a merest fraction of the Christmas Magic inside, and fed it into the blazing potion.

The vial and burner both exploded, though no shrapnel appeared. As the smoke cleared, all that was left was a tiny red crystal that Apple Bloom didn't recognize, though when she picked it up she could feel power stored within.

"...okay, not what I wanted..." she groaned, burying her face in her free hoof. "But...maybe it can do something? I mean...what is it?" She gently set it rolling along the table, where it fell into Rhino's water dish, making the water sparkle.

At that moment, Rhino crawled slowly up to get a drink. After a few sips, he raced away as quickly as he had five years prior, looking as fresh as a youngin.

Blinking, Apple Bloom lifted the stone again. "It...gives energy to liquid?" she mumbled thoughtfully. "Hmm..."

Unsure what else to do with it, she went over to Uncle's favorite tea cup and affixed it to the bottom of the cup on the inside. To her surprise, the crystal shifted to match the coloration of the inside of the cup. Shrugging her shoulders, she made a mental note to only serve Uncle tea in that cup from now on. With luck, it would actually help him.

What no one knew was that the paint on the bottom of the outside of the cup was lead based, though it never reached far enough for any of it to ever enter Uncle's systems. Had Apple Bloom looked a little longer, she would have noticed the paint taking on a golden sheen.

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