• Published 12th Apr 2016
  • 14,952 Views, 12,558 Comments

Three More Things! - Tatsurou



Uncle Chan tries to balance running an antique shop, fighting demons, and being a Chi Wizard with being a loving Uncle to his nephew, his somewhat removed niece...and three little ponies who drive him straight up the wall.

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Final Battle: MORTAL KOMBAT!

Shendu slowly dragged his talon through the air as he chanted in his mind, opening the door for his demon dragon minions. As he worked, he felt something niggle at his mind that distracted him. A chant...a chant endlessly repeating that came from voices in his own plane and beyond.

Yu Mo Gui Gwai Fai Di Zao...

A surge of good chi behind him caused him to instinctively duck to the side. The slash of a sword that would have taken his head clean off instead disrupted the portal he was shaping, dispersing the magic within and wounding the minions who had been closest to the exit, their screams of pain mingling into a gong like sound as Shendu spun to face his foe.

Chan had changed. He stood with fierce determination, his stance aggressive and his blade held confidently as good chi blazed from his entire body. He was shirtless, and runes inscribed all over his torso and face wrote protection from demonic force as bright as the sun. Similar markings ran the length of the blade, and blade and hands glowed with the chi spell that could extract his Talismans. "So...you think you can face me, Demon Sorcerer of Fire, in Mortal Kombat?" The ancient tradition was known throughout the realms, even if this set was off limits to the ancient tournament. "Fine! Let us see who shall triumph here!" With that, Shendu lunged in, refusing to be seen as a coward a second time.

To Shendu's surprise, Chan's abilities seemed to be increased by his enchantments somehow. Despite striking with the speed of the Rabbit, Chan was able to easily flip back over the strike, landing on Shendu's outstretched arm and slashing with his blade through Shendu's flesh before racing up the arm to deliver a ferocious kick to his head that felt like it had the force of the Ox behind it. A second slash as Chan flipped towards the ground on the opposite side sent a second Talisman flying.

As Shendu cleared his head from the blow, he saw the Rabbit and Ox Talismans bouncing across the ground. Even if speed hadn't helped him as much as he hoped, he couldn't let those Talismans go. Even if he wasn't using the power a Talisman granted, its energies lent the spells of the others power so long as the Tiger was active. As a distraction, he fired a beam of energy that animated a nearby dragon statue to attack Chan.

He knew that distraction wouldn't last long. In fact, a single slash and punch left the statue so much gravel. However, it gave Shendu the time to summon the scattered Talismans back to himself with the Rooster, reabsorbing them in time to channel their energies into a massive fire blast that consumed the entire area. He grinned to himself. There was no way Chan could have avoided a blast that large-

The searing pain of good chi in his skull broke his train of thought and made him roar in agony before Chan leapt off his head, the only damage from the fire blast being his pants having been torched to shorts. ...Shendu had no idea why the chi armor protected the clothing only around Chan's genitals. He made a mental note to look into it after he won, but first he had to retrieve-

He was a rabbit. Yes, that was the Monkey Talisman. Still, momentarily being a smaller target proved an advantage as he use the Rabbit's power to evade Chan's strikes with his sword and strike from multiple sides until he successfully knocked the Talisman from his hand. Once Shendu had reabsorbed it, he resumed his natural form and braced himself. As much as it galled him, he needed to take a defensive posture at this point. The danger was too great: he could not fail here!

Chan plainly wasn't willing to wait, charging in for another assault. Shendu focused the Rabbit into his reflexes and the Rooster into Chan's sword. While the magic surrounding Chan and the sword prevented Shendu from simply sending the sword flying as long as Chan was focused, it did let him shift the angle of the strikes slightly. Between that and the Rabbit in his reflexes, he was able to dodge every strike as he searched for his opening.

He saw it as Chan lunged to grab another Talisman out of his body. Grabbing the extended arm, he flung Chan away. He knew that wouldn't put Chan off for long: already he could see him flipping to land safely. However, that wasn't Shendu's intention. In this case, moments were what he needed, and moments were what he could seize. Dashing forward, he focused the power of the Tiger into the back of his left arm and backhanded the blade. The energies of Talisman and blade - being the same spell form - negated each other briefly, momentarily breaking the connection between warrior and weapon as the blade went flying. Seizing the momentary gap in the spells protecting Chan, Shendu unleashed the power of the Sheep and forced Chan from his body.

Chan had never astral projected before, or been projected forcefully. He would be disoriented without his body for a few moments...which would be all Shendu would have before the spells on Chan's body dragged his spirit back in. Taking those moments, Shendu grabbed with both hands, one seizing Chan around his head and the other grasping his arms and torso. As Chan came back to his body, he found himself immobilized.

Shendu heard the voices of his brethren watching from the nether realm. "Finish him!"

The urgency in their voices echoed his own sentiments. Chan's allies had proven too clever, making Chan simply too dangerous to the demons to be allowed to live. While the spells would protect him from brute force crushing, Shendu had something more...brutal in mind. He began to pull his hands apart.

He heard Chan crying in pain as the spells struggled to hold his head on his neck, but time was all it would take to force the separation at this point. Shendu was done with the kid gloves!


Jade gasped as she saw Jackie caught by the demon dragon. "Jackie!" she screamed in shock and fear. Breaking free of Uncle's grasp, she ran as fast as she could go down the hill towards the battle site. Scootaloo was right behind her on Cumulo.

"Bad idea, bad idea, bad idea!" Sweetie Belle muttered under her breath as she raced right behind them, Apple Bloom racing at her side as the plants parted for them to give them a clear path.

"Aiyah!" Uncle cried out in exasperation and fear. Seeing Captain Black and the others starting to falter, he rounded on them. "Keep chanting! Spell is all keeping Jackie's head on shoulders!" He nodded firmly as the chant continued. "One more thing! Stay here!" Turning, he raced after the girls. "I am too old for this!"

Captain Black directed his men to keep chanting. Meanwhile, he unzipped a duffel bag he'd brought with him from the plane. Maybe it wouldn't do any permanent damage to Shendu, and as an experimental weapon it could very well blow up in his face and take his arms - and possibly face - with it, and at best only distract Shendu for a moment...but a distraction at the right time could turn the tide of a battle. Captain Black knew that all too well.


Back in San Francisco, Tohru swayed gently in Audrey III's vines as he sat behind the counter, overseeing the shop as the medics from Section 13 saw to his injuries. Idly, he used his uninjured arm to pick up a book that caught his eye. Opening it up, he flipped through the pages to find something worth looking at.

The book fell open to a page that showed six jewels arranged in a circle, five surrounding a sixth. Lines emanated from the image, representing light, and tiny fell creatures cringed back from it. A chant was written beneath in Chinese. While he didn't know how to pronounce it in Chinese, he was able to read the kanji for its Japanese pronunciation, mentally rearranging it into a more grammatically correct sentence.. "Ni yotte hikari no chōwa, akuma satta..." A compulsion filled him, urging him to continue to chant. "Ni yotte hikari no chōwa, akuma satta...Ni yotte hikari no chōwa, akuma satta..."

The medics from Section 13 backed away with startled oaths as Tohru began to glow with a pink light.


Shendu flinched as he felt the sword become embedded in his thigh. "Get off him!" the girl shouted.

Snarling, the demon willed the sword out of his flesh as he turned. There were the four thorns in his side, the girl and the Qi Lin. "So...all that has stood in my way will die in one blast!" he crowed in triumph. As the chi wizard arrived, Shendu began conjuring the flames that would consume them.


Uncle desperately wrapped his arms around the girls, trying to offer them what protection he could. He needed a spell - any spell - to drive back the demon. Something that could draw on the power his girls had brought with them from their world.

As pink light that was not the sunrise arose from the East, Apple Bloom's eyes widened and she began to chant. "Yóu héxié de guāng èmó qǐtǎo...Yóu héxié de guāng èmó qǐtǎo..." An orange glow began to surround her.

Not knowing where the chant came from, Uncle desperately added his own voice, the other girls chanting along with. "Yóu héxié de guāng èmó qǐtǎo...Yóu héxié de guāng èmó qǐtǎo..." Each of them became surrounded with light. Blue for Uncle, dark purple for Sweetie Belle, crimson from Scootaloo, and magenta around Jade.

The pink light slowly descended towards them.


Shendu didn't know what the light was, but it was painful even to be in its presence. As it gathered power, it pushed back his flame, blistering his flesh as it shone upon him. It felt...sacred...

His eyes widened in fear. Turning, he lifted Chan in hopes of disrupting the gathering of power by using him to bludgeon the old man to death. Before he could, a shot rang out and a beam of focused light punched through his skull, causing him to drop Chan as he staggered back. Turning, he saw the bald man holding a strangely configured sniper rifle in the distance. Before he could react, a mighty chord rang out, shaking the very world.

Turning back, Shendu saw the pink light had joined the others in the image of Tohru. The six colors swirled around each other in a powerful cyclone that pushed Shendu back several steps as the sacred power gathered. The chord rose in volume to shake the very vaults of heaven...and a rainbow arced up out of the cyclone before slamming down towards the demon.

Shendu screamed in agony and fury as the light burned into him...

...and his body exploded.

Author's Note:

For those wondering, the spell was crafted by translating English to Chinese (Traditional) on Google Translate, and then translating that to Japanese. In both cases, it means "By Harmony's Light demon begone!"

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