Appledashery

by Just Essay

In Dedication to Kaizo Burton

Rainbow waved the dust clear from her muzzle. When she stood up, she saw Daring and Romulus squaring off from one another, pacing in a tight circle.

“I should have figured...” Romulus sneered at the spritely adventurer. “Noir has a lapdog in every corner of the world to send and do his dirty work!”

“You were one of his lapdogs once too, y'know, Rommy Dear.” Daring winked. “Of course, it's easy to set the bar low when you cram worms down your beak for a living.”

“What do you get for following his stupid Lunar Code, anyway?”

“Plenty to write home about.”

“Well allow me to pen your obituary!” Schiiing! He twirled, thrashing one talon while stabbing low with a dagger.

Th-Thap! Daring swung her forelimbs in opposite direction, each fetlock blocking a different attack, locking Romulus in place. “Wow! That's exactly the lame sort of comeback I'm itching to give Ahuizotl!”

“Will you get your head in the game, already?!” Romulus sneered. “I want you out of your fantasyland for when I drain the blood from your throat!”

“Sorry, pal.” Daring chuckled. “But I published Daring Do and the Vampire's Vigor last month.” With a grunt, she reverse-somersaulted, uppercutting the griffon with her tail.

“Ooof!” He stumbled back, spitting out pony hairs.

Daring slid to a stop. “Why do you want the shard so badly, anyways?”

“I've no use for it myself!” he spat. “It's the bits that are in it for me! It's always about the bits!”

“And that's where you totally suck, RomTom.” Daring smirked. “All coin purse and no soul.”

“And just what are you going to do with it?! Put it in a museum?!”

“Luna's nipple, no!” Daring gasped. “I'm going to take it back to Noir to keep safe!”

“Typical...”

“Then I'm going to put it in a museum!”

“Balls to that, Daring Douchebag!” Romulus snarled. “Your pursuit of glory and fame is fleeting! I work for someone who will give me power overwhelming!” He grinned beneath his blood-stained beak. “Someone who will cover every bookstore that carries your insipid tails of vanglorious bullcrap in a rain of destructive fire, consuming all of ponydom until every sissy equine is forced to bow and praise the name of the one true—”

WHUD! Rainbow Dash elbowed Romulus' skull to the earth. The griffon wheezed, then was out like a light.

“Now that's what I call 'bird-dropping,'” Rainbow spat.

“Whoah woah whoah!” Daring flailed her forelimbs, gawking. “What on earth, Champ?!”

“Well how long was he going to friggin' talk?!”

“You should never beat the snot out of supervillains until after they are done giving their monologue!”

“What for?!”

“He was going to tell us who he worked for!”

“He was going to gut us!” Rainbow Dash pointed at the delapidated wooden shack behind them. “Or—in case you didn't know—there were innocent ponies endangered by your prolonged fight scene!”

“Pffft!” Daring Do giggled. “That 'house' had more holes in it than a sponge when I got here.”

“The ponies, you idiot!” Rainbow barked. “The ponies were in danger!”

“Will you look at the Great and Powerful Trixie's hoofsies?! They're smudged! Trixie will never forgive you!”

“Typical 'smudge' is comprised of eleven percent composite gravel.”

“Oh shut up!”

Rainbow sighed heavily.

“Look, kid.” Daring trotted over Romulus' collapsed figure. “You're trying to protect Noir. And that's cute.” She rested a hoof on the mare's shoulder while smirking. “But leave the boss fights to the experts.” She winked. “'Kay?”

“'Cute?' 'Cute?!'” Rainbow shoved Daring off. “I saved his life!”

“Only because I let you.”

“Only because...” Rainbow blinked. “...what?”

“Er... sorry, I suck without a typewriter. Ahem.” Daring waved her hoof from side to side. “What I really meant to say is that I let you live to see another day to see that Noir would live another day so that now we could both be kicking flank on this day... today...” She blinked. “The day after yesterday.” She blinked again. She smiled.

“Wait...” Rainbow Dash squinted. “Your voice... that mane.” Her eyes twitched. “Have I seen you before?”

“Now she catches on! Whew!” Daring leaned on Rainbow's shoulder as if she was a cider bar. “Filly, lemme tell you, everypony has the memory of a goldfish these days. Where did you read me, huh? Griffon's Goblet? “The Pungent Pegasus?” She cleared her throat. “Romulus was the 'griffon', by the way. That's why his dialogue sucked so much. I took a chance at being realistic.” She rolled her eyes. “And all the critics call me 'pretentious.' Pfft!”

“Photo Finish!” Rainbow barked. “At the party! You were there!” She shivered. “No wonder you're so kitten-huffing insane! You run in Photo's circles!”

“I don't run in anypony's circles but my own!” Daring frowned. “Actually... I don't run. Period.” Cl-Clank! Just then, a grenade landed in between them. Daring gasped, her pith helmet flying off. “RUN” She shoved Rainbow just as—

P-POWWW!

“Aaaugh!” Rainbow flew back. Her head hit something hard, filling her skull with a sharp ringing sensation. “Unnnnghhhh.. m-my head...”

In Rainbow's foggy vision, she spotted a line of dark-suited stallions lining the top ravine overlooking the quarry. One loaded a mortar shell into the cannon that another was aiming into the gravel pit below.

“I... d-don't believe it,” Rainbow sputtered, eyes rolling back.

“Oh my Celestia, they found me,” Daring Do's voice warbled across the hazy canyon. “I don't know how, but they found me!” She spun, galloping. “Run for it, Firefly!”

“Name's... n-not...” Rainbow wheezed, going cold. “Nnnngh...”

“Don't leave the Great and Powerful Trixie behind!”

“Follow me!” Daring Do shouted as another grenade went off, punctuating her cheery shouts with an echoing rattle. “The Lunar Code has a safehouse out here!”

“The Lunar What?! What about Trixie's House?!”

“This one is cooler! At least twice the size! I promise! Now carry Lil' Miss Sunshine and let's skedunkle!”

A gray shape hovered over Rainbow's darkening vision. “Are you okay, Rainbow?” it droned in Maud's voice.

“So... numb...”

“How many rocks am I holding up?”

“Hmmm...” Rainbow smiled crookedly. “Forty-two.” Thud! And she was out.

Comments

[unknownbore]

42? 42.

[Sharp Quill]

“Oh my Celestia, they found me,” Daring Do's voice warbled across the hazy canyon. “I don't know how, but they found me!” She spun, galloping. “Run for it, Firefly!”

Back to the Future reference.

“The Lunar What?! What about Trixie's House?!”

Confirmed. Only Daring Do is an agent.

[Lightning Bearer]

I've sorta just been assuming that Romulus works for that Aatxe dude, but I guess we'll see.

Also, so "How many rocks am I holding up?" is the key to the meaning of life?

... actually, considering it's Maud, it's not that big of a stretch.

[RoboRed]

...Is it just me, or does Daring seem a bit "off"? I mean, maybe I'm working too hard off of what was shown of Yearling in the show, but this doesn't seem like her at all, and it's kind of weirding me out. She's just so wordy and about as full of herself as Rainbow.

Or maybe there's an explanation for it. She was tired of writing at the point the Mane Six met her in person. Perhaps at this point early on, she still has the drive (and definitely a lot of drive at that) to write, and is more concerned about thinking up material on the go?

Or maybe it's just me.

“Will you look at the Great and Powerful Trixie's hoofsies?! They're smudged! Trixie will never forgive you!”

“Typical 'smudge' is comprised of eleven percent composite gravel.”

“Oh shut up!”

I honestly don't think this will ever get old.

[Lord Dragon]

SHE'S STILL AN EGOTISTICAL DAUGHTER OF A WHORSE!

[Sharp Quill]

5103081 No, it's not just you. I agree that Daring Do seems to be a caricature of herself here, at best.

[Jay_Baker]

I think rainbows fustrated

[Autumn Rush]

I kinda like this Daring.

Though I wouldn't be surprised if Rainbow decided to take a break from shard-finding for awhile after all of this.

[Fishberry]

5102788

And what are you going to do with it? Put in a museum?

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade reference.

It belongs in a museum!

Hah-haaaahh! How many points do I receive!?

[Scohinyha Sanka]

I had expected Romulus to be a bit smarter then to start a supervillian's I-will-explain-everything speech. But maybe that just because I never was a fan of those. I personally hope that their will be a villain in this that just doesn't speak at all. As sort of a counter to Daring Do's Ego.

[Leftover of Saikano]

I can't help but think this is happening at the same time as some chapter of EoP, and just outside the town itself. Characters that appeared in those chapters may be mentioned but won't be appearing here, for timeline reasons.

[CommanderCuddle]

So many references... I LOVE IT!

[FloydienSlip]

Four short months.

[Sharp Quill]

5104219 Well, to be fair, Daring Do is one gigantic Indiana Jones reference.

[RoboRed]

5104998
That would be kind of cool, but I feel the whole thing is kind negated on account of Maud's very existence. Also, everyone is pretty damn happy for it being Dredgemane, and it can't be happening after the Dredgemane arc because *EoP SPOILERS* everypony's still big on the whole required clothing spiel, and they did away with that after the Immolatia was cured and everyone came to their senses and started actually living and enjoying life again.

[Leftover of Saikano]

5105673 I have seen a lot of old fanfics that had to be changed for the mere existence of Shining Armor. Just a little mention somewhere, done well, could be enough to add Maud to that universe.

[Sheendough]

Did Daring Do build a bomb out of a pinball machine and some fireworks for Don Canter's men?

[Sheendough]

5105673 5104998 How are you guys so sure this is actually a prequel for the other stories?

[Aatxe360]

5102788

I saw a Hook reference last chapter.

[silverspawn]

5105673 5104998

plus scoots is telling this story from the future and the world would have ended at that point.

nah, it's not the same universe. just a reference/the same place.

[RoboRed]

5109262
I'm not. I'm just entertaining 5104998's idea that the events are taking place at the same time/around the same time/in the same universe for funsies. I don't believe they are, though. It's just Skirts re-using material and I'm juxtaposing the two uses because I love EoP and the Dredgemane arc was my favorite.

Also, "juxtapose" is a fun word.

5110140
>mfw I completely forgot that Scoots was narrating this
Yeah, that kinda torpedoes the whole theory right there. Welp, time to return to normalcy.

[Snowdrifter]

“Forty-two.”

How many paths must a pony walk down?

[arancaytar]

Oh my God it's full of references.