Appledashery

by Just Essay

The Equestrian Marathon

There was a stage erected along the outskirts of Ponyville. The size of the field was put to good use—for several dozen local citizens were gathered in attendance, bristling and bustling with excitement.

The Mayor of the town stood before the masses, smiling brilliantly. A bright purple banner fluttered above the stage, and several wooden tables had been set up in a row where elderly volunteers sat with clipboards, notepads, and money buckets.

"Today's refreshments have been provided by the generous contributions of Rarity of Carousel Boutique!" the Mayor said, gesturing towards an array of water bottles situated along the edge of the clearing. "Due to the demands of business, she's unable to attend today's ceremony, but she sends her blessings and she wishes all potential athletes the best in success and in health! So, please, do partake! I know it's a hot day today, heheh!"

Laughter. Murmurs. Ponies sipped water and awaited an inevitable speech.

Rainbow Dash strolled in from the sidelines. She stood at the rear of the crowd, squinting at the stage. She spotted several city officials... along with two curious new faces—one, a humongous specimen of muscle and athleticism. The other, a pink-mane'd stallion in a blue suit.

"Alright... on with the show!" The Mayor adjusted her collar and smiled. "Welcome, fillies and gentlecolts, to the first day of sign-ups for the Official Equestrian Marathon!" Her grinning teeth glinted. "Being held here in our very own beautiful town of Ponyville!"

Ponies cheered... stomping the ground and clapping with their hooves.

Rainbow Dash squinted, glancing left and right.

The Mayor continued: "As you well know, every six months, the Equestrian Marathon is held in a different town across the country... where some of our nation's best athletes are allowed to participate and raise prize money for both themselves and for charity! Due to the popularity and success of the Equestrian Grand Marathon, five new state-of-the art foals' hospitals have been built in the last decade alone! Not to mention proceeds to veterans and the homeless!" Her eyes narrowed. "This season... funds will be going to opening a new wing of Ponyville Central Hospital, including the construction of a center for treating unicorn diseases—the first facility of its kind this side of Canterlot!"

More applause.

"Already..." The Mayor smiled aside, winking at a group of businessponies. "...we've had a generous donation of fifty-thousand bits. But that's just the start! To explain the way the proceeds will work, I shall give the stage over to Canterlot businessstallion and renown philanthropist, Fancy Pants. Mr. Pants?"

Ponies clapped and cheered. A familiar stallion in a monocle shuffled up to the podium.

Rainbow Did a double-take. Her lips pursed...

"Ahem... yes, right then..." Fancy Pants smiled at the crowd. "Greetings, rustic ponyvilleans! Quite the beautiful day in the country, wouldn't you say? Heheh... granted, you're probably quite used to this. I, myself, am used to far colder air. It's a good thing I'm not running in the marathon. The humidity is positively murderous."

Chuckles lifted above the crowd's heads.

"However, I am donating to the cause. Quite handsomely, as a matter of fact. Why? Because there's something about the Equestrian Marathon that just... speaks to the indomitable equine spirit in all of us. There's nothing better than good ol' fashion competition, eh?" A cheekish grin, and a wink "While the proceeds may be starting at a seemingly steep fifty-thousand bits, I have attended enough Equestrian Marathons to know that the final sum can easily quadruple that amount! You see, this is where you and every other pony in the province come in." He pointed at the tables where volunteers were lined up. "Over the course of this week, we are taking donations in every town—much like this one—to see how far we can raise the charitable winnings! That's right... your money will be used to make Equestria a safer, happier, more healthy community. And! On top of that... however high the lump sum reaches, the pony who comes in first in the marathon will win a fourth of that prize! That's right! As we start, entreants stand to earn over twelve thousand bits for coming in first place! The higher we raise the proceeds—not only will the charity organizations benefit—but the first place jogger also stands to enjoy a greater fortune! On top of that, the town with the highest donations from its citizens will receive free exercise equipment from Barnyarn Bargains for a year! So it's a competition on two fronts, and everypony stands to benefit! Especially unicorns needing health treatment for magical ailments... as your good Mayor has alerted you."

Ponies glanced at one another, nodding and murmuring in contemplation. Smiles and happily twitching ears were abundant.

In fact, the only pony who didn't look happy was the stallion in the blue business-suit standing next to the muscular speciment atop the stage.

Rainbow squinted at them—but was distracted as Fancy Pants resumed speaking:

"Today marks the day that we begin sign-ups... not just for athletes who wish to partake in the Marathon—but for those who desire to donate. We're not asking a fortune from you, of course. Every little bit helps. But do understand that the more you contribute, the bigger the prize... and the greater the chance Ponyville gets at being hailed across Equestria as the most generous villagers in equine civilization! Well... at least for the next six months." As ponies laughed, he adjusted his monocle and added: "And—yes—you can donate and participate in the marathon, if you so desire."

The Mayor stepped up, gesturing at either side of the stage. "Donations are to made to your left... and sign-ups for participating in the marathon will be to your right!"

"Thanks, Mayor!" Fancy Pants said. "I, for one, greatly look forward to the marathon itself! It's quite an exuberant show of good sportsponyship and athleticism... much like your Running of the Leaves! Only... eheh... you can very well expect to find ponies from all trots of life attending! And in record numbers too!" The mustached stallion brightened. "As a matter of fact! To inspire all of you into participating, we have with us a real celebrity with us right now! I speak, of course, of none other than the one... the only—"

The businesstallion in the pink mane suddenly spoke up: "I'll to the introductions for my agent, thank you very much." He tilted his nose up, adjusting his tie.

Rainbow was still recovering from the migraine-inducing pitch of the pony's voice when she heard Fancy Pants reply: "Oh. Yes. Very well, then. Fillies and gentlecolts..." The philanthropist took a humble step back. "...Mr. Svengallop."

Comments

[RoboRed]

1) Good guy Fancy Pants.
2) Hmm...prize money...a possible avenue to not leave Ponyville?
3)

"...Mr. Svengallop."

Oh, not this assclown...

[DrEggnog]

Smiles and happily twitching ears were abundant.

I love that no matter what sort of fanfic Skirts is writing, even if it's a story with a lot of the dank and the depressing, he never seems to forget that he's writing about adoracute little horsies.

[WhitewolfStormrunner]

7344361

Oh, not this assclown...

Unfortunately, yes.

That assclown.

Wonder who he's representing; Arnold Schwarzaneighger?

Sorry. Couldn't resist the pun.

*ducks as things are thrown her way*

[Khao]

"And—yes—you can donate and participate in the marathon, if you so desire."

RAINBOW DASH WHAT ARE YOU DOING

[Sharp Quill]

I have this horrible feeling that Dash will either sign up to run the marathon, or donate most of her money, or both.

[AskWaffles]

Dash wins the race and gives the winnings to to Caramel?

[destinedjagold]

7344391 ...
... ...
... ... ... Rainbow Dash... for f**k's sake...
You're already loveless, homeless and soon your hooves will stop working, and now you want to be bitless, too? Celestiadamnit.

7344441 ...
... ...
... ... ...or this. Yes, I'd like this, please.

[Khao]

7344441

Also becomes a permanent noodle in the process.

[Phoenix Kitten]

Oh Dashie...don't.
Please don't.
Because chances are high that there's some level of corruption when Svengallop is involved, so please don't.
You're going to get roped into a conspiracy.
Just don't.
I mean, you'd be getting Fancy involved, and he'd get Rarity involved, and they'd get the others involved....

...this is going to end in tears isn't it?

[Jern]

The businesstallion in the pink mane suddenly spoke up: "I'll to the introductions for my agent, thank you very much."

Plot twist: the muscle-bound jock is the agent and Dash will be racing against Svengallop.

[Leftover of Saikano]

7344403 Will try to donate her money, but the elders, knowing she's an athlete, will think she signed the wrong list and was actually trying to enter the marathon, and will make it so.

[RoboRed]

7344441
Yep. This. This is probably what's going to happen.

[I Thought I Was Toast]

And here's where we come full circle. Bets on how and where her disease gets discovered? My money is on that wing for unicorn diseases suddenly becoming a wing for pegasus ones faster than Applejack can say a countryism once Rainbows left a limp noodle helping.

[BronyInHiding]

It would be pretty unbelievable if Dash were to enter and win this marathon at this point. With her condition as bad as it is and this roided out super runner, it would be a stretch to have her pull off an upset.

[zaponator]

You know I'd find it utterly hilarious if after all this setup there wasn't even a Marathon arc and Rainbow just up and left.

[Shotgunmerc]

I love how bitter and cynical the comment section is at this point in the story

[Thursday]

7344376 I actually laughed so hard at this that I spit out my water all over my monitor. Thanks for the pick me up buddy!

[WhitewolfStormrunner]

7346965 *grins* You're very welcome, my friend. Glad I could make your day.

[Seraphimus]

7344361 Oh yes it's that assclown,

The best part is his client appears to be none other than a rip on Brock lesnar. Which makes our illustrious mr. svengallop a walrus.

[True Edge]

7346950
I know, it positively breathes and radiates hope, dontcha think?