Appledashery

by Just Essay

Nice and Easy

Either Rainbow Dash woke up before her alarm clock or she had somehow dreamt of it blaring. Whatever the case, she was already springing out of bed barely two milliseconds into its chime. Slapping the thing with her elbow, she twirled about the room, using the centripetal force of her spin to stretch and crack her limbs. She came to a sudden stop, delighting in the dizziness, and hovered before a mirror.

What she found was a smile, and for some reason it didn’t surprise her.

Humming, she twirled out of the bedroom and zipped into the kitchen for morning breakfast.

---

Rainbow Dash exited her house in a burst of warm air, startling the local mailmare as she hovered by the mailbox.

“Whoah!” Derpy gasped, her eyes rolling to a stand-still as she smiled vaguely in the direction of the speedy pegasus. “Good morning, Rainbow Dash!”

“Hey there, Derpy!” Rainbow sing-songed, lazily fumbling to tighten her saddlebags around her flank. “What’s up?”

“You know just as well as anypony that I can never tell anymore.”

“Heeheehee… well, you work on that, kay?” Rainbow winked.

“Wow… somepony’s in a chipper mood!”

“Why shouldn’t I be?” Rainbow grinned. “I had an awesome night’s sleep and I know exactly what I’m going to be doing with my day!”

“Oh! Well, that’s good, then!”

“You’re darn right, it’s good!”

“Say…” Derpy’s face scrunched up as she pointed at the front of the cloud home. “What’s with the ‘for lease’ sign, Miss Dash?”

“I’m being evicted!” Rainbow grinned. “Isn’t that cool?!” She waved and zoomed away in a burst of miniature thunder. “See ya, bubble-butt!”

“Heheheh… bubble-butt.” Derpy grinned and snapped her mailbag shut. “I gotta write that one down.” She turned around and slammed skull-first into one of Rainbow’s window panes. “Owch!”

---

“Hnnnngh!” Rainbow kicked three clouds in a row to bits, her body diving through the whole mess of them. She gathered whatever misty trails were left, folded them into a disc with her wings, and bucked it sky high. “Haaaugh!”

Candy Mane and Thunderlane were casually conversing in midair when--with a gasp--they found themselves having to dodge the cloudy projectile from below. The “disc” soared over their heads, ricocheted between two rain clouds, and burst through a thick dark cloud in the middle. Rain poured out the bottom like a bathtub’s leaking hole.

Rainbow Dash was already gliding beneath it, pushing a cloud that she had bucked into the shape of a hexagon. She spun the thing and then kicked it harshly with two hooves. “Yaaaah!”

The hexagonal cloud glided to a stop beneath the curtain of water. In spinning, it spread the collected drops like a sprinkler, thoroughly irrigating four separate patches of farmland stretched out for hundreds of yards below.

Rainbow Dash didn’t even have time to dust off her hooves. She was already darting left and right in the sky, dashing cloud after cloud, flipping and performing stunts between each impact for good measure. Every now and then, her voice would burst through the airwaves with little grunts, cheers, whistles, and chuckles.

Candy Mane and Thunderlane blinked, their heads craning about as they hovered in place, watching Rainbow’s every move.

“Uhhhh… Rainbow?” Thunderlane smiled nervously.

“We’ve been over this, haven’t we?” Candy Mane suppressed a giggle. “There’s really no need to go so fast about this.”

“Y’know, I’ve realized something!” Rainbow twirled down and paused just long enough to ruffle Thunderlane’s mohawk. “I’m not too fast!” She leaned forward. “You guys are just too slow!” She raspberried and shot up with another burst of air.

Candy Mane laughed at that, but Thunderlane was less than pleased. “You know, some of us remember that we’re being paid by the hour!”

“Pffffft! For what?” Rainbow soared overhead. “For cloud kicking?! Pegasi like you and me can do that in our sleep!” She burst through another bed of clouds and saluted while gliding past once more. “Maybe you should stop thinking so much about the numbers and a little more about the performance, or else you’re gonna have to do something really hardcore.”

“Uhhhh…” Thunderlane blinked. “Like what?”

“What else?” Rainbow twirled off, hunting down more clouds. “Find a new job!”

Thunderlane and Candy Mane gazed at Rainbow Dash, then exchanged glances. They both flinched, winced, and flew stupidly into each other. “Ooof!” Floundering, they kicked and bucked at the air before darting off in opposite directions, desperately searching for errant clouds left to thrash.

---

Rainbow glided eastward, smiling as she took her time in the crisp, early morning air. Having finished weather flying so early left the rest of the day open to her. So, without equal grace and daring, she flew towards a building in the center of Ponyville, located just two blocks west of Town Hall.

Touching down, she flapped her wings and landed on slightly wobbling legs. Clenching her teeth, she exhaled in relief, finding herself standing straight.

“Heh… didn’t even have to down a pill this morning.”

She gazed up, her eyes rolling in time with the sway of a guilded sign hanging in front of a distribution warehouse. In bright gold letters, the words “Banner Company” accompanied the wooden effigy of a prancing pegasus.

“Whelp…” Rainbow tilted her neck from side to side, crackling her joints. “Here’s to an easy day doing easy things.” With a deep breath, she trotted forward and pushed at the door. “Easy, girl. Be… nnngh… smart about this! Nnnngh!” She pushed and pushed harder on the handle. “It’s like… nnnngh… slipping into an old sports jacket! Just… nnngh… use your head… and e-everything will work out! You’ll get your old j-job back and… unnnnngh--come onnnnn you stupid door!”

A voice coughed behind her.

She froze in place, glancing past her shoulder.

A middle-aged stallion with a five o’clock shadow glared lethargically. A bright orange worker’s apron glittered in the morning sun across his plump figure. Without saying a word, he reached past Rainbow Dash and gripped the door’s handle. Pulling on it with meager grace, he opened the door, gave Rainbow a lazy eye, and trotted quietly inside.

Rainbow bit her lip, fighting the mother of all blushes.

“Yeah…” She shuddered, slithering her way quietly into the parcel center. “This is gonna be real easy…”

Comments

[MellowMabari]

Rain poured out the bottom like bathtub’s leaking hole.

I'm guessing an "a" should be in there somewhere. If not, I pity whoever flies below poor Bathtub.

[zaponator]

Hey yeah! Things are looking up!

[YoshiFawful64]

3868446
I laughed way too much at this.

[Future Regret]

3868446
That's great... oh god, that's funny.

[Metal Aura]

Reread this chapter and replace derpy's voice with maud's. She goes from innocent mailmare to sarcastic ass real fast.

[Lucasmembrane]

3868446

This comment made my entire freaking afternoon.

[arancaytar]

A middle-aged stallion with a five o’clock shadow glared lethargically. A bright orange worker’s apron glittered in the morning sun across his plump figure. Without saying a word, he reached past Rainbow Dash and gripped the door’s handle. Pulling on it with meager grace, he opened the door, gave Rainbow a lazy eye, and trotted quietly inside.

Pegasi are not good with doors. It is known.

[Boop-Happy Lass]

Rainbow glided eastward, smiling as she took her time in the crisp, early morning air. Having finished weather flying so early left the rest of the day open to her. So, without equal grace and daring, she flew towards a building in the center of Ponyville, located just two blocks west of Town Hall.

Wh- yeah, I'll stop saying stuff about Austraeoh every time "glided eastward" is mentioned.

A middle-aged stallion with a five o’clock shadow glared lethargically. A bright orange worker’s apron glittered in the morning sun across his plump figure. Without saying a word, he reached past Rainbow Dash and gripped the door’s handle. Pulling on it with meager grace, he opened the door, gave Rainbow a lazy eye, and trotted quietly inside.