Appledashery

by Just Essay

"...Not really makin' it."

"You sure you don't want anything, Rainbow Dash?" Caramel asked.

"Hmmm?" Rainbow looked up, blinking. "Oh... uh..." She leaned against the bar with a sigh, rubbing her forelimbs together. "I had a glass earlier."

"Two glasses," Vinyl said, glancing at Rainbow's forelimbs.

Rainbow gulped. "So... I think I'm gonna pass for now. Thanks, though." She smiled up at Lyra and Bon Bon. "And thank you for the extra moolah."

"Hey..." Lyra shrugged. "Element of Generosity at its best."

Rainbow blinked. "You do realize that my friend Rarity is the Element of Generosity, right?"

"Pffft! She's a poser!" Lyra sipped from her vodka, grimaced with delight, and continued. "Who here shares her flatulence with at least a dozen ponies each day?"

Silence.

"Come on!" Lyra slapped Bon Bon's shoulder. "Who."

Bon Bon rolled her eyes. "You do, Lyraaaaa."

"Damn straight!" Lyra pointed. "And that's for free!"

Vinyl chuckled.

"But Rarity? Carousel Boutique owner? Pffft... she keeps it all in." Lyra took another sip, wincing. "A creature with inhibitions is a creature of questionable generosity."

"I don't think it's a matter of inhibitions, silly pony," Bon Bon said, sticking her tongue out. She hiccuped and sipped more from her hard lemonade. "But, rather, manners."

"Pfft! Manners only make the mare because a mare once made them up! We should be natural! Free! Musical!" The air lit up with a slight tooting sound. "You're welcome."

"Guhhh!" Bon Bon waved a hoof. "Lyraaaaa!"

"What?" Lyra smirked. "So what if my friends know me inside and out."

"Buhhhhhh..." Caramel teetered.

"Two pineapple shots," Vinyl remarked. "Somepony's brave."

"No... I'm... I-I'm good..." Caramel waved a hoof, smiling crookedly. "Just... buh... dress happy."

"Yo!" A passing group of youngsters fumbled to a stop in the middle of the establishment, staring wide-eyed at the bar. "DJ-P0N3!"

"Wuh oh." Rainbow smirked. "You've been found, V."

"Hmmm?" Vinyl turned around. "Ah yes. That."

"That... never happens back in Ponyville," Bon Bon remarked.

"There's a reason for that," Vinyl took another sip of her cider and stood up. "Yo yo yo what's up?!" she spoke in a suddenly jubilant tone.

Lyra and Rainbow exchanged blank expressions.

"Wow! It really is you!" The stallion nearly fainted. "Yo, girl, your dubtrot shiet is so dope! I especially love your Daft Pony remixes!"

"Pffft... you know DJ-P0N3!" Vinyl grinned wide. "When I drop that bass, I drop it dirty! I don't care whose original tunes I gotta smear all over to make righteous as rain, donkeee!"

Bon Bon nearly choked on her lemonade.

Rainbow and Lyra mouthed: "'Donkeee?'"

"Haha! Wow! You rock! Say... uhm... I hate to be that guy... but can I get an autograph?"

"Pffft! Hellz bucking yeah, dude!" Vinyl levitated a pen. "Where do you want it? And—careful..." She smirked slyly. "Last cool cat who asked me to sign his groin ended up limping for a week."

"Heheheh... my hoofball cap would be soooooooo dope! I'd share it with everypony I see!"

"You bet, champ!" As the stallion leaned over, Vinyl signed her name across it. "What's your name, buddy?"

"Uhm..." The stallion blushed. "Logan."

"Is that a fact?"

"Hehehe... yup!

"Well, lemme give you the low down, Logan." Vinyl finished scribbling her name and leaned back. "Life is a song. Even if you reach the bridge, don't let it stop you from rocking to a killer chorus!"

"Heeeee... wow! That's... soooooooo smart! You must know everything about music!"

"It's in my blood. Now it's in yours." Vinyl stuck her tongue out, pumping both forelimbs. "Wub on, duuuuuuuuude!"

"Heehee! Wub on! Yeah!" The stallion waved and shuffled off. His buddies playfully shoved him and laughed.

Vinyl coughed, swiveled around on the stool, and calmly sipped from her cider. After feeling the eyes of her drinking buddies, she cleared her throat and droned, "And that's why I live anonymously in Ponyville."

"Wow, girl..." Bon Bon blinked. "I had no idea you possessed... possessed..."

Vinyl raised an eyebrow. "Charm?"

Bon Bon smiled bashfully. "More like an 'off switch.'"

"You have to be full of surprises to say in the game," Vinyl said.

"She's right about that," Rainbow said.

"Dayum... you sure you aren't hetero?" Lyra said. "Cuz a talent for fakin' it shouldn't go to waste!"

Caramel spat out his pineapple shot. "Holy fudge!"

The rest of the ponies laughed.

Comments

[zaponator]

Okay, that was simply wonderful.

[TIAS-A1927]

Post like this make reading this fic totally worth it. I really love this change of scenary.

[Phoenix Kitten]

...stage persona.
You know... not really surprised.
Still amusing though.

[Hestia]

Vinyl, you rock!

[Lightning Bearer]

Here's Vinyl, putting on a show for her fans, and Rainbow's the one who seems to have a stalker.

[Sonikah]

It took me a second to get that one, Lyra.
I laughed.

[DrEggnog]

Ugh, I'm reeeeeeeeeeeally not a fan of the type of pony Vinyl was pretending to be there. Just not my style at all.

[Aatxe360]

7135927

Pays the bills and allows her to work with wubs.

[Leftover of Saikano]

Oh, Lyraaaa.

[Phoenix Kitten]

7135922
only Flim and Flam are unaccounted for from the dragon lands.

[BabySkittleMonster]

Lyraaa, that kills people!

[Hestia]

7135922 Honestly, Listing Breeze was my guess too. I mean, Flim and Flam are hopefully still in the dragon lands. Hopefully.

[Phoenix Kitten]

7100900 took me a bit to find a decent quality.

[PropMaster]

"Dayum... you sure you aren't hetero?" Lyra said.  "Cuz a talent for fakin' it shouldn't go to waste!"

Holy shit, I lol'd. Fucking BRUTAL.