Appledashery

by Just Essay

I Know Why the Caged Dashie Sings

“The guards aren't that cruel, really,” a ram said with a nervous smile. “They're just... really, really confused.” He gulped. “And they like to speak through lashes.”

“I doubt th-they'd hurt you at all!” an elk said. “You seem fit as a fiddle! I bet you'll get them lots of diamonds!”

“Look...” Rainbow Dash folded her arms, glaring at the group. “I don't dig. I dash. I dash hard.”

“Well, now you can do the same thing! Only... uhm... forty-five degrees down and into solid st-stone!”

“Yeesh...” Rainbow squinted at the group. “Has anypony told you that you've all got Stirrupholme Syndrome bad?”

“It can't be helped, Miss Dash,” a deer said with a sad expression. “We've been down here for far too long to believe in any sort of hope.”

“You've been very brave to help us... b-but you're just one pegasus,” another added. “Even Mr. Iron Will, for all of his charisma—he didn't even stand a chance against all the dogs that run this place.”

“Yeah... speaking of...” Rainbow's muzzle scrunched. “Where'd the big lug go? I was starting to love him just enough to hate him.”

“When they brought you here—with your wings in chains—they said something about 'learning the secrets of the minotaur.'”

“Duh. Any dog can do that. Just flex their muscles and yell reall, really loud.”

“They seemed really serious about it, Miss Dash. Almost as if they want to use him for something more devious than digging for stuff to arm Top Dog's weapon.”

“Look... I've personally tangled with Top Dog's B-Cubed... Mare-oh y Mech-oh. The friggin' dog doesn't really need much else to be overpowered as buck.”

“You don't understand. The Diamond Dogs aren't about killing or destroying. What they ultimately want to do is take control. Why else do you think they spared your life and brought you down here?”

“Yeah, well, if they thought that putting me in chains and throwing me behind bars would tame this wild horse...” Rainbow grinded her hoof while her nostrils flared. “They've got another thing coming.”

“I don't know what it is you're so bent on returning to, Miss Dash, but it isn't worth rubbing these mutts the wrong way anymore than you already have.”

“Look, it ain't about what I wanna return to!” Rainbow Dash gritted her teeth to the breaking point. It's who! Rrrrrr-Haaaaaugh!” She threw her shoulder into the cage's wooden bars.

The nearby slaves quivered in fright—as did the occupants of the next two closest containers. “Wh-what are you doing?!”

“What does it look like?!” Rainbow Dash rammed and rammed and rammed the bars again. “I'm being righteously indignant!”

“Well, could you be less righteously indignant so close to us?!”

“You don't like it?!” Thud! Thud! Thud! “Get your own cage!”

“Miss Dash! Please! Will you at least—” The slave's words trailed off. She and the others quivered in their cloven hooves. “Oh no! Oh no oh no oh no oh no! Somedog's coming!”

“You can hear 'em?!” Rainbow asked.

“That smell!” The prisoners retreated to the back of the cave, shivering. “Oh jeez! You've done it now! We're all going to be punished for the racket!”

“Yeah, well, they're going to have to whip and mangle their way through me first!” Rainbow Dash gripped the bars and shook with all her might. “Hey! Ya fleabags! Lemme out of here! I've got a dinner reservation with your front teeth at buttkick'o'clock sharp! Now get your tails over here and fight like the real pussies you are!”

“Uhm...” A deer tapped Rainbow on the shoulder. “I believe that p-pun works better with felines—”

“Shhhh!” Rainbow hissed back at them, frowning. “You're all ruining my sass!”

Just then, a tiny shadow crept up to the bars.

Rainbow spun around, snarling. “Raaaaugh! That's right! Lemme out so I can rearrange your—” She blinked, her jaw dropping. “—pizza?”

Autumn Rush stood, shivering under the buzz of flies.

“Whoah... girl...” Rainbow smiled against the bars. “You're in one piece! Did you hide out all this time and—?” Suddenly, she winced. “Gaaah! Pewwww-weeee! Whose buttcrack did you crawl out of?”

“Shhhh...” Autumn Rush leaned forward. “I haven't much time! You want out of here?”

“Does the alphabet begin with a horseshoe?!”

“I f-found something that you may want. It wasn't easy, though...” That said, she dangled a cluster of prison door keys before Rainbow's muzzle.

Rainbow blinked. “When... where... h-how?”

“When? About an hour or two ago when one of the guards wandered off on his break. Where? Down by the cesspool where the dog squatted to do his business. How?” She shuddered, then sighed. “Let's just say that it probably explains the smell...”

Comments

[zaponator]

Oh cool, I'd forgotten about her existence!
Time for a revolution!

[FloydienSlip]

“I doubt th-they'd hurt you at all!” an elk said. “You seem fit as a fiddle! I bet you'll get them lots of diamonds!”

That's not how elks talk.

[Misspegasister_]

I Know Why Caged Dashie Sings

that title sound cute for some reason

[Lucasmembrane]

Bwahahahahahaha I so called it!

[Metal Aura]

5198971 It's a reference to the book, "I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings."

[arancaytar]

“Does the alphabet begin with a horseshoe?!”

Worldbuilding!

[arancaytar]

4416963
Well, not if they've been captured by stabby-stabs and had their horn glimmer sawn off. Yes yes yes.

Edit: I didn't even realize who I was replying to when I sent that.