Appledashery

by Just Essay

Journey to the Center of the Equine

"I do not think that Trixie is herself right now," Maud muttered. A blink. "Or if she isn't, then there's a completely different pony standing in front of us and it was completely rude of Trixie not to introduce her."

"Wait... just wait." Rainbow gritted her teeth, squinting at the unicorn from afar. "We were all asleep when she first trotted off, right?"

"Indeed."

"And that had to have been an hour ago. But she only got this far in that time?" Rainbow narrowed her eyes in thought. "Then Trixie couldn't have been trotting very quickly. If nothing else, she probably got here after a very leisurely stroll."

"What would that mean?"

"I dunno. But if you were to steal away to a mysterious giant platform deep in a cavern on your lonesome, would you take your sweet time about it?"

"I wouldn't necessarily describe Trixie as a forward thinker."

"Exactly. And she's not exactly the bravest horse in the barn, either."

"Then perhaps she isn't here by choice."

Rainbow looked at Maud.

Maud looked at Rainbow.

With a deep breath, Rainbow slid out of hiding and trotted forward. "There's only one way to find out. Stay behind me."

"Very well," Maud droned as she loosely followed. "I will stay in back of you as opposed to in front."

"Good girl." Rainbow's pace quickened. As she drew closer, she could see Trixie's horn glowing with an emerald light.

"That's strange..."

"What is strange?" Maud asked.

"Trixie's horn doesn't usually glow green."

"Perhaps she spontaneously decided to accessorize," Maud said. A three and a half second blink. "Celestia knows I do from time to time."

"Trixie?" Rainbow frowned. "Hey, Trixie!"

The mare was muttering something as the two ponies approached, but Rainbow couldn't make out the words.

"Trixie...?" Rainbow hovered over the platform of glowing circles on flapping wings. "Trixie, what's up? What's going on, girl?" She placed a hoof on the unicorn's shoulder and forced her to turn around. "Look at us..." She recoiled. "Gaaah!"

Trixie's pupils had shrunk to tiny pinpricks. The rest of her eyes shimmered with a green light. "Wheels..." she slurred "Wheeeeeeeeeeeels," she murmured again, her horn pulsing with a steady emerald strobe.

"Uhhhhhh..." Rainbow fidgeted, her saddlebag jostling. "Trixie, dudette, do you... uh... h-have a history of geometrical allergies?! Eh heh heh..."

Maud leaned in, her dull eyes reflecting the glow of the unicorn's forehead. "There is something wrong with her horn," she said. "Her sorting horn."

"What, you mean she's...?"

"It looks like she's trying to perform the sorting spell," Maud said. "But something's wrong."

"Yeah, like what?!"

"I do not know," Maud muttered. "My knowledge of pony anatomy is limited to those of the earth race. Though, if I was to guess, something about doing the spell may have opened Trixie's mind to some pollutants in the magical leyline."

"Uhhhh... what?"

Maud looked over. "Trixie's sorting horn made her vulnerable to some ancient, evil, slithering thing."

"Brrrbrbrrbrbrrr..." Rainbow shuddered. "Please not slithering. Please not slithering."

"Snakes?" Daring suddenly trotted up, her muzzle blinking with curiosity. "Did it really have to be snakes?"

Rainbow spun, frowning. "Couldn't leave it alone, could you, girl?"

"Daring Do." Maud turned about, blinking steadily. "You startled me."

"I couldn't help but..." Daring's voice trailed off. She turned and glanced at Maud. A blink. She cleared her throat and continued. "I couldn't help but notice that not one... not two... but three members of our party had farted off while I was sleeping."

"Then stop dreaming about tacos."

"I'm serious!" Daring frowned, pointing. "What the hay is going on here that's so darn important?!"

"Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeels..." Trixie slurred.

"You heard the mare," Rainbow said in a dull voice. "Does that convince you?"

"Nice baritone, Trixie." Daring trotted forward, squinting at the possessed unicorn. "But you gotta have three singing partners if you wanna get anywhere."

"Trixie doesn't enjoy singing," Maud said. A five second blink later. "Oh. I get it. You were telling a joke." Her head tilted five degrees. "That was pretty funny."

"WhEeEeEeEeEels..."

"Sounds like she's possessed or something," Daring said.

"Very good, Daring Dunce!" Rainbow rolled her eyes. "Next thing you'll tell us she's voiced by Kathleen Barn!"

"Look, I'm only trying to get a bearing on what's gotten her so loopy in the poopy!" Daring frowned. "We're deep underground. Who knows what sorta crazy ancient fart gas could have infected her or something!"

"That is what I was attempting to convey," Maud said. "Although not quite so colorfully and full of gross metaphors."

"And we were doing just fine without you," Rainbow grumbled. "So if you don't mind..."

"Just what is your problem, Champ?!" Daring gritted her teeth. "Do you or do you not wanna get us all out of here in one piece? Great and Powerful kitten huffer included?!"

"Stop calling me 'Champ!'" Rainbow snarled. "And you wanna know what my problem with you is?! You're conceited, arrogant, you only care about your book, and--on top of all that--you're after the shard for your own purposes and not to keep this world safe!"

"Oh, and just what are you going to use the shard for, huh?!" Daring smirked. "Gonna use it as a paperweight to hold the corners of the world in place?!"

"That's none of your business!" Rainbow stammered, folding her forelimbs from where she hovered. "At least it'll be safe from evil pony hooves!"

"Oh, so suddenly I"m as bad off as Big Bird the Destroyer and his Tap Dancing Mobsters?"

"Wheeeeeeeeeeeelssssss..."

"At least if Romulus and his buddies got ahold of the shard, I'd have a chance of tracking them!" Rainbow glared. "But you are as unpredictable as it gets! No wonder you wanna bite out of something so purely chaotic!"

"Hello Pot! I'm Mrs. Kettle! Did you know that you were black?!"

"Excuse me?!"

"Girls." Maud blinked at the two. "This is neither friendly nor magical."

"It'll be nothing as soon as Miss Adventure Sphere here gets ahold of the shard!" Rainbow barked. "You wanna have fun blowing up the world?! Fine! Do it on your own time!"

"Oh, don't you worry, Champ!" Daring hissed. "If push comes to shove, the only thing I'm taking down is you!"

"Take... down..." Trixie's head pivoted to the side like a metal clock gear. "Take us down... to the wheels." Her eyes pulsed. "Affirmative.""

FLASSSSSSH! Her horn strobed insanely bright. The cylinder beneath all four ponies shook. Within seconds, the circles pulsed in sequence, and a round platform within the heart of the cylinder dropped rapidly. Rainbow and Daring shrieked, each clinging to the opposite side of a rock-solid Maud Pie as they dropped... dropped... dropped.

As the ancient lift descended, carrying the ponies--and their screams--into the abyss, a pink figure hopped up from the opposite side of the land bridge.

"Hey! Girls! I just had the strangest dream about an amber pegasus in a beret fighting a rainbow vigilante on the rooftops while horses with torches stood around a sanitarium along with a donkey that wouldn't shut up and--"

Pinkie skidded to a stop. She tilted her head down, blinking into the cylindrical hole.

"Girls?!"

Her voice echoed, only answered by distant, panicked screams.

"Ah well..." Pinkie shrugged and grinned. "The dream wasn't going anywhere anyways!" Then she jumped into the ancient hole, performing a pink cannonball. "Weeeeeeeeee...!"

Comments

[Sharp Quill]

"Girls." Maud blinked at the two. "This is neither friendly nor magical."

Because friendship is magic, get it?

[Frostwolf123]

Green magic. Deep underground.

It now occurs to me that someone has always beaten her to the shard before. I think I know where this is going.

[RoboRed]

"Trixie doesn't enjoy singing," Maud said. A five second blink later. "Oh. I get it. You were telling a joke." Her head tilted five degrees. "That was pretty funny."

There being another five second blink was bad enough, but the head tilt killed me.

"Very good, Daring Dunce!" Rainbow rolled her eyes. "Next thing you'll tell us she's voiced by Kathleen Barn!"

Whatyoudidthere,Isawit.

"Hey! Girls! I just had the strangest dream about an amber pegasus in a beret fighting a rainbow vigilante on the rooftops while horses with torches stood around a sanitarium along with a donkey that wouldn't shut up and--"

And I really saw what you did there.

[Lord Dragon]

5162041 I see the way you're thinking and I think you're correct, however I do believe that a certain species with green mind magic might be the culprit. Hint, hint.

[Lightning Bearer]

Hmmm... wheels and hidden doors underground. Why does that seem so fami--

reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/Joaquin-Phoenix_OMG.gif

[TwilightUCrazy]

"Hey! Girls! I just had the strangest dream about an amber pegasus in a beret fighting a rainbow vigilante on the rooftops while horses with torches stood around a sanitarium along with a donkey that wouldn't shut up and--"

[Leftover of Saikano]

"The dream wasn't going anywhere anyways!"

Some day. But not soon.

[RainbowJack2000]

"Hello Pot! I'm Mrs. Kettle! Did you know that you were black?!"
"Excuse me?!"

Racist!

[JAK0723]

5162264
I don't get the reference.

[DrEggnog]

fart gas

img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20121122043521/twobestfriendsplay/images/1/12/Pat_Real_Life.png

[arancaytar]

"Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeels... " Trixie slurred.

Legit lost it.