Appledashery

by Just Essay

Flank Over Elbow

"Are you sure about this, Scootaloo?" Apple Bloom asked with a trademark tremble. "This is your third time trying for a cloud cutie mark. Maybe you should just give it up and try something else."

"Pfft! Give it up?!" I smirked back at her and slid a pair of goggles over my eyes. "Giving up is for losers! I'm a winner, like Rainbow Dash!"

"Yeah, well, Rainbow Dash is kind of sort of alive," Sweetie Belle chimed in. She and my other friend stood—trembling—side by side at the top of the hill behind a stack of hay. "And I'm sure she didn't need a scooter to gain altitude!"

"Pfft! Don't rub it in!" I turned and stared down the steep hillcrest beneath me, my eyes tracing their way towards the outrageous ramp of wooden plywood planks that I had constructed an hour ago at the base. "I'm going to reach those clouds—and when I do—my cloud-walking cutie mark is gonna be cinch!"

"If you say so," Apple Bloom murmured in a wavering voice.

I couldn't help but gulp. "I kn-know so." Taking a deep breath, I gripped the scooter's handles hard and pushed off the hillside. "Here goes nothing!"

"Just be careful—!" Apple Bloom began, her voice being cut off as Sweetie Belle gave a high-pitched shriek and hugged her desperately, refusing to look.

I lost sight of them; I lost sight of everything. I was rocketing down the hillside so fast that my yelping voice trailed behind me. "Whoahhhhh crud crud crud crud crud crud—Crudsicles!" My heart leapt as I reached the bottom of the hill, and milliseconds later I was being propelled upwards, shooting off the ramp like an orange comet. "Whoah! Heyyyyyy!" I smiled into the weightless moment. "This is totally awesome—"

And then... something called gravity.

"Oh snap!" I flinched. My scooter gave out from underneath me. The world spun, and all I could see through my goggles were houses and chimneys. I curled up into a trembling ball. "Don't snap! Don't snap!"

"Whoahhhhhh there, champ!" A blue blur swooped in, snatching me up just seconds before I became roof paint. "It's one thing to go up with style, but it's another to come down with substance!"

I gasped, feeling strong, warm forelimbs around me. "Rainbow Dash!"

"Heh..." A fuzzy blue face smirked from the edge of my vision. "Nice ramp. You've got guts, kid. Just don't splatter them all over the town, ya hear me?"

I gulped and bit my lip. "Right. I-I just wanted to get some wicked air."

"Well, why didn't you say so?" Whoooosh! Suddenly, sky devoured us, and we were piercing through its blue belly with a wicked corkscrew.

"Whoahhhhh!" I exhaled, my ears folded back from the windblast. "Hah hah hah—Yeah!"

"That ain't nothing!" She effortlessly tossed me into the air, twirled beneath me, and caught me on her backside. I held on for dear life as she reared her hooves and flapped her wings even harder. "I like to call this one the 'Hayston, We Have a Problem!'"

The world spun no less than a dozen times as we zig-zagged our way through cloud after cloud. Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom—I'm sure—would have long thrown up by now. I was too busy whooping and cheering to think about why I wasn't upchucking my guts. At one point towards the end, I slipped. With a gasp, I went airborne, but suddenly a strong pair of hooves were gripping my forelimbs from above. I squealed with delight as Rainbow Dash glided towards the valley, bringing us both to a sliding stop in the tall grass.

"Whew!" I stumbled onto the earth with tingling hooves. "That was killer sweet!" I spun and hopped in place with a bright, bright smile. "Rainbow, you're the best!"

"Ehhh..." She nonchalantly rubbed the edge of her hoof on her chest and examined her fetlock. "I've done three times as awesome stuff at double the speed before breakfast." She winked at me. "Consider that airshow on the house."

"Wow, know wonder you have a cloud and a lightning bolt for a cutie mark!" I suddenly sighed, gazing down at my tiny wings. "At this rate, I'm never gonna rule the air like you do..."

"Hey, don't sweat it, kid. You're gonna go places. The key thing is not to give up."

"What's to give up?" I pouted. "My cutie mark just doesn't wanna happen, I swear."

"Think of your cutie mark as..." Rainbow tapped her chin, then smirked. "A big friggin' rubber band."

"Huh?"

"Or a huuuuuuge cannon that's being loaded for a huge salvo!" She leaned in and ruffled my mane. "Once it's time for you to make fireworks, it's gonna be a show to remember. I know the waiting sucks at times, but once you get your cutie mark, I just know it's gonna blow everypony away. Heck, it might even give mine a run for the money!"

"Really?!" I leaned forward, feeling a breeze against my grinning cheeks from my fluttering wings. "You really think so?"

"Well..." Her ruby eyes rolled. "Maybe not that close to matching mine, but that's a tall order." She winked.

I giggled. Just then, a series of tiny hoofsteps galloped up from the distance.

"Scootaloo! Land's sakes! Yer alive!"

"And in one piece!" Sweetie Belle's voice cracked. "Unless, of course, you're just the ghost of Scootaloo."

"Don't be silly," Apple Bloom muttered in between panting breaths. "Ghosts aren't visible in the sunlight."

"Says who?"

"Granny Smith."

"Does your grandmother have a ghost catching cutie mark?"

"Uhhh... no..."

"Then what does she know?!"

"Hey!"

"Yo yo yo!" Rainbow waved her forelimbs. "Don't turn on each other unless you plan on becoming the Cutie Mark Crusader Heel Wrestlers! For realsies, guys, it's a friggin' sweet morning. You three should be living it up!"

"Shucks, Rainbow..." Apple Bloom smirked. "Yer in an awfully chipper mood!"

"Pffft. What, is that a crime, kiddo?"

"Well, Applejack is always sayin' that yer not a mornin' pony."

I watched as Rainbow Dash suddenly leaned forward with a gaping muzzle. "Applejack talks about me?"

"... ... ... ..." Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle stared.

"I mean... erm... Ahem..." Rainbow leaned back, tossing her mane. "What a load of horse apples! Of course I do stuff in the morning! Who else clears the fog but us awesome pegasus ponies?"

"Hey! That totally makes sense!" Sweetie Belle said with a bright grin and an even brighter stare. She blinked. "...Doesn't it?"

"Thanks for savin' our friend, Rainbow," Apple Bloom said, pointing at me. "We'd catch her ourselves, but we ain't as strong as you..."

"Eheheh..." Rainbow Dash took a deep breath, her eyes rolling towards the blue sky above. "Well..."

---

An hour previous...

"That brewed sample won't last for long," Zecora said as she trotted back to her alchemy table. "Please tell me if anything goes wrong."

"Uhhh... r-right..." Rainbow sat on the stool, flexing her forelimbs. She squinted over at the zebra. "In the meantime, what will you be up to?"

"Making a solid potion to last you a while, so that you can maintain your strength, endurance, and style." Zecora looked over her shoulder. "But as we both know, for only a short distance it'll go. Finding future ingredients will come at a price, and I fear that puts this prescription into quite a vice."

"How... uh... long do you think the first potion is going to last me?"

"Hmmm..." Zecora rubbed her chin. "A week at the most will your muscles endure. Until then, a great deal of bits you'll have to procure."

"And you're totally fine with this?" Rainbow gulped, leaning forward. "I mean, I know I'm paying for the ingredients and all, but what about you? How do you profit?"

"If it was about my gain, then all of this would be in vain." The zebra chuckled, then smiled at her. "No, Rainbow Dash, upon silver or bits I do not depend. If you would like to pay me, then all I ask is the occasional company of a friend."

Rainbow blinked. She smiled. "Yeah..." She nodded. "Yeah, okay. I think I can totally do that."

Zecora smiled rosily, then turned back to her potions. "Now, carry on with your busy day. Unless you have anything more to say."

"Uhm.. actually... there's one thing that's on my mind." Rainbow Dash fluttered over. "Zecora, you're a really swell zebra n'all..."

"Mmmhmmm..."

"But... erm..." Rainbow fidgeted. "About... about Big Macintosh..."

Zecora's ears instantly perked up. She turned and blinked at Rainbow with bright eyes.

Rainbow's face was frozen in a slight wince. "Really? I mean... nothing wrong with that choice, I guess, but..." She rubbed the back of her head. "Don't you think he's a bit... I dunno..."

Zecora grinned. "Dedicated and kind, with a well-toned behind?"

Rainbow did a double-take. "Whoah, girl!"

The zebra laughed—almost a braying sound. "Oh, by the sands, I've said too much. I daresay I almost lost my touch."

"Or just f-found it." Rainbow smirked.

"Certainly it doesn't surprise you to know that even a travelling shaman enjoys a good show." Zecora winked.

"Pfft. Not at all. Besides, to each their own. But..."

"Hmmmm..." Zecora sighed. "He is a stallion most humble, and yet rough and tumble. He cares about work and family and yet carries it with an air of nobility."

"He's also like a freckled steamroller with a bass singing voice."

"Oh please, Rainbow Dash, is there a reason for you speaking so brash?"

"Uhhhhh..."

"You relate to the stallion through his sister." Zecora smiled. "Perhaps you know some secrets about the mister?"

"That's just the thing." Rainbow rubbed her hooves together awkwardly. "About Big Mac. He's... he's seeing..."

Zecora stared with an innocent, warm expression.

Rainbow Dash gulped. In a blink, she saw many a night spent fighting tears as she surrendered to the shadows and sheets of her bedroom.

"He's... uhhh... s-seeing brighter days as of late!" Rainbow clenched her jaws between each utterance. "And I-I've no doubt it's because he's living in a world with... you in it!"

Zecora stared and stared. She let loose a tiny zebra squeal. "How charming a notion—it fills me with emotion!"

"Yeah." Rainbow coughed. "I'm sure it does."

"One of these days I'll summon the strength to speak to him at greater length." She sighed, staring longingly into one of many reflective beakers. "But that will be reserved for another time, when I'll no longer be bound by duty or rhyme."

"Well... uhhh..." Rainbow Dash rubbed her head. "Since you'll be putting it off..."

"Consider this conversation redacted!" Zecora waved the pegasus off. "Now shoo! Shoo! Before from this potion I am further distracted!"

The last thing Rainbow heard was the happy humming voice of the zebra as she grew more and more distant from the hut.

---

"Uhhh... Rainbow?" I waved my hoof, then waved it even harder. "Rainbow...?"

"Hmmm?" She blinked, twitched, and glanced down at the three of us. "Huh?"

"You were—like—totally in another world," I said.

"Yeah... Do adult pegasi normally zone out like that?" Apple Bloom asked.

"I do that all the time!" Sweetie Belle said. "It's perfectly normal!" She then scrunched her face. "I just wonder why Cheerilee makes me sit in the corner for doing it so much..."

"Oh, don't mind me," Rainbow Dash said. "Just planning out my afternoon."

"Oh! Oh!" I jumped in place multiple times. "Lemme guess! You're gonna practice more flying moves for the Wonderbolts?"

"Pffft. I can do that in my sleep." Rainbow Dash waved her forelimb. "Nah, I'm doing boring stuff this afternoon."

"Like what?"

"Like figuring out how to make an enormous amount of bits in a short amount of time."

"Ew..." Apple Bloom winced. "That does sound boring."

"Heh..." Rainbow smirked. "How hard can it be?"

---

"Stamps!" Breathless, Rainbow slapped her hooves over the end of the clerk's desk. "I need to make an enormous amount of bits in a short amount of time!"

Stamps lowered his clipboard and raised an eyebrow. The apron'd workers of Banner Company paused around him. He cleared his throat, forcing them to trot back into action among the many-many shelves of stamped boxes.

"Rainbow..." Stamps leaned forward, folding his forelimbs in the middle of his desk. "What do I look like? A treasure chest?"

"How could you?" Rainbow grunted. "You've already got something shoved in your keyhole." She hissed. "Stamps, I need higher-paying gigs! Haven't I proven that I'm loyal to you as of late?"

"Absoutely." He droned, "For about a week."

"Yeah! But it's totally be a super-awesome week!"

He groaned.

"H-hasn't it?" her voice cracked.

"Rainbow... Rainbow... Rainbow..." Stamps leaned back with a sigh. "I don't care what everypony thinks, but I like you. I really do."

"Wait..." Rainbow leaned back with folded ears. "Wh-what does... everypony th-think—"

"But I simply can't pay you any favors," Stamps said with a shrug. "It just isn't my place." A beat. His eyes shifted left and right.

Rainbow's eyes shifted left and right to follow his.

"Buuuuut..." Stamps leaned forward ever so slowly, his voice taking on a whispery tone. "If there was a pony whose place it was to find you jobs that paid much without wanting to make a lot of noise about it..." He icily slid a hoof under the desk. "I wouldn't be the pony to know about it..." He pulled out a folded card. "And I wouldn't even have any physical contacts to such ponies that don't exist..." He pretended to yawn, thereby flipping the folded card nonchalantly across the middle of his desk. "And they certainly wouldn't have accidentally crossed paths with anypony who works for Banner Company, since such ponies couldn't possibly exist..."

Rainbow's eyes darted from him, to the card, and to him again. "Riiiight..." She cleared her throat. "Tell you what, boss, you seem pretty tired." She gulped. "How about I... clean your desk off for you?"

"Pfft. Whatever." Stamps shrugged, looking in the opposite direction from the glaring piece of litter on his table. "Not like you're going to get any commission for being tidy around my workspace."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Well, I don't know what I'm listening to."

"Exactly."

"Absolutely."

Silence.

Rainbow bit her lip, flapped her wings once, and leaned over to swipe the card off the stallion's desk.

It was precisely at this time that he stopped "yawning."

"Thanks," she said.

"For what?" He muttered. "Were we even talking about anything?"

"Well... uhm..." She hugged the card to her fuzzy chest and hovered backwards. "Thanks... for... the carbon dioxide."

"Meh." He picked up his clipboard.

Rainbow twirled around, flapped her wings, and darted out of the warehouse with a few ponies blinking at her.

Stamps scribbled across a sheet of paper. At one point, his eyes darted up towards the front entrance. He smirked, then returned to his work.

---

Rainbow Dash sat on a tree branch on the outskirts of Ponyville.

She looked east and west... then north and south...

Nopony was in sight.

She took a deep, deep breath... then unfolded the card in her grip.

On it were two lines of text, hastily scribbled in partially faded blue ink:

"Fillydelphia Air Yards. Behind the golden-striped building. Every Tuesday morning. Three o'clock sharp. Professional and confidential delivery ponies only."

Rainbow took a deep breath. She folded the notecard up and rubbed her eyelids.

"Nnnngh... For the love of Celestia, Zecora, I'd better not be hallucinating this."

She sat up straight.

"'Cuz that's cliche as balls."

Nevertheless, she smirked, pocketed the note away in her saddlebag, and flew off towards the clouds.

Comments

[Aatxe360]

Zecora squealed.

I love it.

I imagined her squeeing until I read it again.

[cvvvrt]

The cliche job would be smuggling.

Here's hoping it's something embarrassing rather than illegal, like delivering marital aids. I'm sure RD would just love ponies talking behind her back about her delivering bundles of joy.

[Tchernobog]

She seems to be doing well! But... poor Zecora. That's gonna bite Dash in the ass at some point...

[Scohinyha Sanka]

No longer bound by duty or rhythm? So Zecora is going to change her lifestyle someday. Wait!!!What!!? A non rhythmic Zecora. I wonder how she would sound.

[Lilith Evanson]

It's most likely going to be something extremely illegal or totally humiliating.

Either way, I can't wait to read it.

[RainbowJack2000]

4068231
She'd sound like some weird African American woman, that's what.

[Lightning Bearer]

Zecora with a crush is unexpectedly cute...

Also, others have speculated that Dash'll be delivering something embarrassing. Imagine if one of her deliveries is to one of her friends...

[Sheendough]

Methinks Rainbow will make yet another trip to chain the favors introduced with Zecora to have a constant delivery of her potion just like she chained Fancy Pants's favors to have a constant ammount of money for Applejack.

[Scohinyha Sanka]

4069011 Hmm. Yeah probably, kind of a disappointment now I think of it. Was thinking that it would be more out of the ordinary.

[zaponator]

Hm, is Rainbow being sent to work for the mob?
...cool.

Also, dayum, that was the most adorable I've ever seen Zecora.

[Spinner of Tales]

th00.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/i/2013/270/c/c/my_little_pony_in_gta_by_darkheromatiz-d6o37aa.png

Did someone say "make a lot of bits in a short amount of time"?

[Full-time_Introvert]

4610829 If only.....

[Dash32]

I have a bad feeling about what was meant by that card

[Dash32]

“And then... something called gravity.” SURPRISW MOTHERBUCKER!

[Metal Aura]

"Yeah, well, Rainbow Dash is kind of sort of alive," Sweetie Belle chimed

If only she knew how true that statement was.

[Seraphimus]

"Nnnngh... For the love of Celestia, Zecora, I'd better not be hallucinating this."
She sat up straight.
"'Cuz that's cliche as balls."

That'd be so hilarious but awful

[arancaytar]

"He's... uhhh... s-seeing brighter days as of late!" Rainbow clenched her jaws between each utterance. "And I-I've no doubt it's because he's living in a world with... you in it!"

Element of Loyalty, everypony.

[Boop-Happy Lass]

8454774
Well, she isn't the Element of Honesty, now, is she?

[AppleTank]

rainbow pls