• Published 4th Dec 2013
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Appledashery - Just Essay



Rainbow Dash lives an exciting life and is swiftly becoming the most daring, awesome pegasus in all of Equestria. She would gladly give it all up, though, just to confess her love to Applejack.

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Royal Rainbow Rumble

“How much more of this steam sneaking is necessary?” a certain minotaur whispered.

“Shhhhhh!” Rainbow Dash hissed as she scurried ahead through the industrial mists.

“It's not Iron Will's style to duck and hide.” He nevertheless smiled slyly. “Unless, of course, there's plenty of room beneath a ring apron—”

“Dude! Could you can your chatter for a moment?!” Rainbow's voice cracked. “I didn't want to say it, but I'm totally not used to doing things this way!”

“Then Iron Will is curious. Why try now?”

“Cuz there's a lot more at stake here than just you or me!”

“Ohhhhhhhhhhhh...” Iron Will nodded. “Pint-size cares for the W.W.E universe.”

Rainbow Dash did a double take. Excuse me?”

“Pint-size knows...” Iron Will blinked. “The World Whinnying Equines!”

“Euuuuuughhhh...” Rainbow Dash stared ahead with folded ears. “I think I'm going to vomit.”

“Iron Will thinks pint-size needs to relax! Her muscles are too tense! She allows anxiety to rule her life!

“I do not let anxiety rule my life,” Rainbow Dash grumbled.

“Yeah!” Lancie stuck his head out. “She allows unrequited fuzzy pony love to—”

“Nnngh!” Rainbow shoved him back in her saddlebag. “I'm just... a little twitchy. That's all.”

“Twitchy? Over beating in the skulls of rudey poo Diamond Dogs? Naaaaah... Iron Will sees through pint-size's mask. A pony that likes kicking flank as much as she did in front of Iron Will earlier can't be anxious over a good smackdown.

“Mmmmfnnngh... who retired and gave you the belt, anyways?”

“Iron Will has sold out stadiums to tens of thousands of ponies needing motivational speeches, remember?”

“Jee... how could I not? You only friggin' mention it every other sentence.”

“That's because Iron Will is proud! Pint size should be too!”

“Uh huh... and why is that?”

“The price of loyalty is important to her! It makes her weak in the knees!”

Rainbow Dash glanced down at the stone floor as they shuffled along.

“Is Iron Will far from the truth?”

“I have many reasons for being weak in the knees. It's totally not loyalty, though.”

“Is pint-size sure of that?”

Rainbow Dash frowned and looked over her shoulder. “Look, buddy,” she spoke out loud. “I didn't come all this way to have a therapy session with Brick McLargeHuge—” Her petite head ran into a metal bar. Bonk!Owie!” She stumbled backwards, rubbing her fuzzy skull.

“Oooooooooh, brotha!” Iron Will cracked his knuckles. “You picked the wrong baby-faced pony to sneak up on!” He started pummeling the metal structure with his fists. Wham! Wham! Whud! “How about that?! Iron Will brings the pain!”

“Ennngh... dude...” Rainbow Dash grunted.

“What do you think of the macho mare and the megapowers now—?!”

“Iron Will, knock it off!” Rainbow tugged him back, snarling. “It's a friggin' metal bar!”

“Yeah, well, what's it doing here in the middle of the room?!”

“I dunno...” Rainbow Dash tilted her head up. “It's probably just another boiler or...” And up and up and up. “Or... or... hoboy...”

Rainbow and the minotaur stood in the shadow of an enormous metal monstrosity comprised of hydraulic joints, steam reinforced pipes, and what appeared to be tank treads. It was easily the size of two houses back in Ponyville. Judging from how high the ceiling went in that misty place, this was the only cavern of the canine colony large enough to house such a metal beast.

Rainbow Dash gulped. “Well, there's at least one good thing to know.”

“And what's that, pint-size?”

“I doubt it can roll back the way we came.”

“Pffft. You don't strike Iron Will as a pony who runs from danger.”

“What?! I never said that—”

“Iron Will is serious! You need to relax and take the moment in stride!”

“Euugh...” Rainbow face-hoofed. “Is now the time and place?”

“Maybe a story will suck the tension right out of pint-size! Ahem... did Iron Will ever tell you the story of when Pony Rose snuck up on Iron Will in a chicken costume?”

Just then, a loud hum filled the room. The steam suddenly animated, as if coming to life. The mists flew past Iron Will and Rainbow Dash, sailing into the vents located along the broad side of the metal vehicle's hull.

“What... wh-what's going on?!” Iron Will stammered.

“Dude...” Rainbow Dash blinked. “I figured your story was about to suck, but this is ridiculous.”

“Look!” Iron Will pointed with a dramatic pose.

Rainbow's ruby eyes gazed up as the last cloud of mist dissipated, being inhaled by the steam vents of the enormous vessel. By now, the far reaches of the large cavern could be seen in perfect clarity. The metal vehicle was a behemoth, complete with a swiveling top rig situated upon four pivoting segments equipped with tank treads. The vehicle was primarily constructed out of a rust-red iron alloy with plates of gold and steel reinforcement. Diamond and ruby studs lined the broader panels, and the upper portion of the craft swiveled about, exposing a canine engineer perched upon the top where he fiddled with the controls of an open cockpit inside a see-through metal cage. He pulled at a lever, causing two massive arms to flex and unflex from the main turret.

“As you can see, Top Dog, all it takes now is one flip of the switch, and the B-Cubed will suck in all the steam from a loading area in less than a minute! So long as we dig and build these boiler rooms in strategic places all across the countryside, B-Cubed can hypothetically restock and reload... from... anywhere...” He glanced down at the conspicuously exposed minotaur and pegasus, blinking through his thick goggles. “Woof?”

Silent, Iron Will and Rainbow Dash glanced up.

A thick line of dogs stood on a catwalk just above the rumbling machine. Among them was a particularly muscular canine wearing metal chains for a bandolier. He raised an eyebrow above a pair of neon-purple shades.

Rainbow Dash squinted. “Top Dog...?”

The canine slowly, slowly nodded his head. “...yeahhhhhhh?”

A beat.

“Alright, one thing at a time,” Rainbow Dash said with a frown. “Just what in the heck are you building here and why—?”

CLANG! A metal barrel flew up and slammed into two of the guards at Top Dog's side, sending them flailing—and yelping—to the top of the metal behemoth beneath the catwalk.

“Ohhhhhhhh yeah!” Iron Will flexed his biceps. “You're going home in a doggy bag! And that's the bottom line! Because Iron Will says—”

“Oh for the love of Pete—” Rainbow Dash snarled as she soared up at the startled canine boss. “Round One, already!”

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