Appledashery

by Just Essay

Trixiemaudery

“Rainbow.”

“Mrmmfff..” The pegasus made a little trilling sound, curling into an even tighter ball of blue fuzz. “Can't hear you... th-through all the apples...”

“Rainbow. Wake up.”

“Grab m-my hoof, AJ... Mmmfmngh... I'm drowning in citrus...”

A gray hoof reached in, shaking the pony's shoulder.

“Rainbow. It's Trixie. She's gone.”

“Gnnghhh...” Rainbow turned over. Smiling deliriously, she latched onto the hoof and nuzzled it. “Oh, AJ... my hero... you s-saved me...” A muffled squee. “Saved me fr-from the apples...”

“Those are not my initials.”

At last, Rainbow's muzzle morphed into a scowl. Slowly, her eyes fluttered open. She glanced at the gray leg she was nuzzling, then up at its owner.

Maud stared with dull, dull eyes. “I don't know anything about apples. I can teach you about juicy rocks, however.”

“Guhhh!” Rainbow sat up in a jolt, panting. “I wasn't... that was just...” She winced. “Whatever you heard, I swear, it was only—”

“Rainbow, Trixie is no longer here,” Maud said.

“H-huh?!” Rainbow squinted, then surveyed the cliff. Daring and Pinkie Pie were sleeping in their respective places, but there was no sign of the starry unicorn. “Where in the McFuzzle did she go?!”

“That is what I am attempting to ascertain,” the earth pony droned. “But I could use your assistance.”

“Oh... r-right... totally!” Rainbow got up on her legs, but almost immediately collapsed. Wincing from the gathering numbness, she chose to flap her wings and hover instead. “She has to be a real Grade-A idiot to have wandered off in a situation like this!”

“I wouldn't know,” Maud slurred. “I am not a teacher.”

“You didn't see where she wandered off to, by chance?”

“I did not.” Maud slowly shook her head. “I was too busy.” She blinked. “Dreaming.” She blinked again. “About rocks.”

“... ... ...uh huh.” Rainbow cleared her throat and glided forward along the winding cliff. “Well, I can see her having gone in one of two directions. Either she went back the way which we came because she chickened out. Or she... went on trotting ahead?” Rainbow furrowed her brow in thought. “Perhaps led forward by the shard?”

“She could be in a great deal of trouble,” Maud said.

“Girl, that mare was in trouble the morning she was first foaled.” Rainbow darted down, grabbed her saddlebag, and slipped it on. “Here's to hoping she didn't take a third option.”

“What third option is that?”

Rainbow pointed at the abyss beyond the cliff. “She could have just taken the plunge. I mean... her shack was total'd right in front of her face.”

“I do not believe that Trixie is capable of suicide,” Maud murmured. “She is too full of joy and life.”

“Compared to you, girl, a cactus might just as well be tap dancing.”

“I do not understand what you are implying.”

Rainbow sighed. “Let's just quietly scout ahead and see if we can find her right away.”

“Shouldn't we wake Daring Do and Pinkie Pie so that we can spread the search out better?”

“Pinkie's snoring is—like—the best audible marker we could ask for,” Rainbow said. “I'd rather keep her here so we can come back and collect our bearings.”

“And what of Daring?”

“...” Rainbow glanced sideways at Maud Pie. “I'd rather let her sleep for the same reason you skipped her and went straight to me.” The pegasus smirked. “She's an idiot.”

Maud gazed at Rainbow. A five second blink later. “Let's go find Trixie.”

“Yuperooni.” Rainbow darted ahead while Maud trotted at a brisk pace.

---

“I don't get it,” Rainbow muttered. “Shouldn't it be pitch black down here?”

“Hmmm?”

“I mean, don't get me wrong. I'm glad I can see something, anything.” Rainbow gulped in mid-flight. “But how? Why?”

“Bioilluminescence,” Maud droned, gesturing briefly at one of the cavern walls that had a silver shine to it. “This part of the cave is populated by a rare subterranean bacterium that gives off its own light.”

“No kidding?”

“I do not joke about rare subterranean bacteria.”

“I... I-I know. I was just... it was only...” Rainbow sighed, floating along on limp wings. “Let's just find Trixie already.”

“This is all my fault,” Maud muttered with no change to her dull expression. “I was the one who suggested that Trixie utilize her rock sorting skills in the first place.”

“Girl, it wouldn't have made any friggin' difference if I hadn't come to this town with a chaos shard that needed analysis to begin with,” Rainbow said. “Trixie has a right to be mad at me. Romulus and Don Canter's goons only destroyed her shack because I was there. If I hadn't shown up, none of us would be in this mess.”

“Trixie appears to be mad at you for more reasons than just her shack.”

“Huh?”

“She claims that you have a history together.”

“Oh.” Rainbow's ears drooped. “Right. Uhm...” She fidgeted with her hooves in midair. “Look, it's rather simple. She came to our town. She ticked off all the wrong ponies by... y'know... being her. Then she summoned an Ursa Minor into town, tearing up buildings and threatening ponies n'stuff.”

“Really?” Maud droned. “Trixie summoned an Ursa Minor?”

“Well... I g-guess it wasn't so much her as it was a couple of punk colts...”

“Sounds like Trixie isn't to blame for the giant cosmic death bear.”

“Pfft! Are ya kiddin'?” Rainbow grinned. “She was the one who put it in the foals' heads that she could take on an Ursa!”

“But she still didn't summon the bear herself in a deliberate attack on the town.”

“Hey, wh-what are you trying to imply, anyways?!” Rainbow glared down at her. “That Trixie was innocent of the whole bear thing and that the rest of Ponyville simply overreacted to her abrasive personality by blaming her for all the crap that went down?!”

“Is that what I am saying?” Maud uttered.

Rainbow blinked. She stared forward, face blank. “Uhh... I...” She bit her lip. “It can't be that simple, is it?”

“I'm beginning to think that it isn't.”

Rainbow's nostrils flared. “Well, it's no use, anyways. I know that in her heart of hearts, Trixie blames Ponyville for her misfortunes. It's—like—totally obvious. Even if I wanted to... y'know...” She rubbed her forelimbs together. “Apologize for how things went down, she's not going to listen to a pony who destroyed her shack and has just now brought her to the depths of Dredgemane.”

“Perhaps her distress is what made her trot off in the first place.”

“Heh... that or she has gone bonkers.”

“I do not understand.”

Rainbow smirked. “Face it. Having an ego that huge?! To even talk about oneself in the third pony?!” Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Pfft. That mare's head is in a weird place, and I bet you it's only gonna get weirder.”

“Does she talk to dragonequus-shaped lamps when she thinks nopony else is listening?”

“Heh, nope, but I bet that's next on her agen—” Rainbow's eyes bulged, and she almost bumped into a stalactite. Spinning about, she flew backwards, gawking down at Maud. “Wait, wh-what?!”

“You've had over five separate conversations with your saddlebag since I first witnessed you arrive in Dredgemane.”

“I... that...” Rainbow gulped. “M-maybe I was just thinking out loud to get my bearings!” Rainbow smiled nervously, sweating. “Y'know, like Daring does!”

“Daring Do does not call herself 'Lancie.'”

Rainbow winced. “I... j-just think that you're imagining things,” she wheezed. “Yeahhhh...”

“It's okay, Rainbow,” Maud droned. “I talk to my rocks too.” A three and a half second blink. “It's stress-relieving.” Another blink. “Not to mention fun.”

“And... erhm... what do your rocks say?”

“What does Lancie say?”

Rainbow gazed at her. She frowned. “You know what, can we just agree to be silent about this whole cruddy thing and go back to locating Trixie?”

“We don't need to locate Trixie,” Maud slurred.

“Why the heck not?! Didn't you say that she—”

“Because she's right there.” Maud pointed.

Rainbow spun around. She blinked, then squinted.

At the far end of the plateau, a natural slope of stone narrowed into a not-so-natural earthen bridge that led to what appeared to be a tall, tall cylinder sticking up out of the murky abyss. Trotting leisurely across the bridge was Trixie, her horn glowing in sequence with a pulsating aura. It took Rainbow a few more seconds of gazing at the scene, but at last she detected what appeared to be a glowing array of circles in the center of the cylinder.

“What...” Rainbow leaned forward, hissing. “...is she doing?”

Comments

[Sharp Quill]

Maud gazed at Rainbow. A five second blink later. “Let's go find Trixie.”

A five second blink?

Curious readers want to know: will there be a six second blink?

[FloydienSlip]

That chapter title, though.

Maud is like the greatest combination of straight mare and comic anyone could ask for.

[unknownbore]

5156758 Curiouser readers want to know: will there be a minute long blink?

[RoboRed]

I misread the title as "Trixiemurdery" at first for a second. I was like, "...That can't be good..."

A five second blink later.

Dayum...five seconds that time?

[Frostwolf123]

Wait, she heard Dash talking, clear enough to hear Lancie's name, but didn't hear Lancie talking back?

Well shit. She is imagining him.

[Bulbajer]

Trixiemaudery

Shipping conflict detected. Reject. Reject!

[Lightning Bearer]

Mauxie FTW.

But yeah, like FrostWolf said: The fact that Maud didn't hear Lancie talking raises some very interesting questions. I would say that "Lancie" is just a hallucination, but that would require a whole lot of synchronicity, considering things like Photo Finish's recovery, etc.

[Sheendough]

5157458 She also said "draconequus-shaped lamps". Remember that, in the end, Lancie is an antler.

[Fishberry]

Well I guess Trixie found... something.

Huh, I wonder if the shard is in there.

At least we can count on Pinks to pop into existence and pull something helpful out of Pinkiespace in the nick of time.

[YoshiFawful64]

5157458
Unless Lancie's one of those "only you can see me" dealios.

[TwilightUCrazy]

Really Maudying the waters up in here. Stop with the Trix. I want a slice of plot development Pie.

...I'll show myself out.

[Sharp Quill]

5158830 Then why does Lancie bother hiding when others approach?

[YoshiFawful64]

5159461
Umm... good question. Maybe he forgets, or doesn't know it himself? Or maybe it's that others can see Lancie, they just can't hear him? Or maybe he's just better than Rainbow at whispering?

[BabySkittleMonster]

5159230
Please do. I can't take any more puns! (I'm just jealous because I can' think of any witty puns to use...)

[BabySkittleMonster]

Looks like a new ship! TrixieXMaud. Yay!

[arancaytar]

“Mrmmfff..” The pegasus made a little trilling sound, curling into an even tighter ball of blue fuzz. “Can't hear you... th-through all the apples...”

[arancaytar]

“Does she talk to dragonequus-shaped lamps when she thinks nopony else is listening?”

Maud is on fire.

And oh crud, it looks like Trixie is possessed.