Appledashery

by Just Essay

Trotting Espionage Action

Rainbow Dash trotted down a lantern-lit slope of carved earth. At every corner, she pressed herself up against the rockface, bit her lip, and peered cautiously down the adjacent corridor. Luckily, there was nopony—or nodog—to be found. Biting her lip, she pulled her body into a nimble squat and slithered forward, leaping her way behind every bolder, stalagmite, and wooden crate she could find. The air was dank with moisture, and a thin trickle of rainwater constantly rivered past her hooves from the improvised storm above, giving her body a tiny shiver that kept her awake and aware.

And yet, with each minute that lurched by, she found the descending labyrinth of corridors to be surprisingly devoid of life. The torches flickered on—fueled by an ingredient that was relatively alien to Equestrian knowledge. Rainbow Dash seriously doubted that any pony had willfully trotted down these chambers in recent history, and from the increasingly foul stench of the passageways, she was starting to understand why.

At last, she glided down a particularly steep tunnel and emerged into the largest chamber she had seen yet. In every direction—including above and below—there rested the frames of more and more tunnels. It felt suddenly like standing in the center of a large dried-out sponge.

“Unnnnnngh...” Rainbow's whole body slumped as she sighed the full extent of her lungs out her muzzle. “Holes,” she grumbled. “Why did it have to be holes?”

“That's funny.” Lancie poked his head out from her satchel. “I figured you for a mare who was intensely familiar with caves.”

“Shhhh!” Rainbow Dash crawled until she was crouched behind a series of wooden crates. From there, she craned her neck and stared down a series of tunnels leading to some lamp-lit recess. “What makes you say that?” she eventually replied in a hoarse voice.

“Let's just say it's gut instinct,” Lancie said, rapping his own chest for emphasis. Plink! Plink! Plink! “Though, I can't blame you for detesting this whole 'labyrinth' business. You strike me as the kind of pony who likes to do things in a linear fasion.”

“Oh really...”

“Yup!” He smirked. “Just pick a single cardinal direction and keep on flying until—”

“I hate to interrupt, but something's bugging me.” Rainbow Dash squinted as she crept ahead to another series of crates. “Just what is it with Diamond Dogs and their incessant need to enslave other creatures?”

“I'm guessing you've run into their mangy kind before.”

“Sadly, yes. And though things resolved themselves with the awesomeness of a foal's comic book strip, I can't say that this situation looks anywhere near as fabulous.”

“I'm afraid you've lost me there, Sparky.”

“Look, I have these friends, you see—”

“You? Friends?! And here I thought you were just loyal to chicken pizza.”

“Shut up! Ahem. So, like, my friends andI had to rescue this one unicorn, Rarity, who got her flank captured by a bunch of freakish underground dogs. They were totally gonna make her dig for gemstones until her hooves fell apart. Thankfully, with a little bit of heroics...”

“...and a little seltzer down your saddle...”

“...we got to her before they could tear her to pieces. I mean, she handled the situation pretty well on her own, but a part of me always believed that she'd be dead today if we weren't around to drag her silly horn back to the surface.”

“Sounds like a certain lady owes you more than a pat on the flank.”

“Look, she's Rarity. She's my friend.” Rainbow Dash glared over her shoulder in mid-stealth. “I don't care how much she sounds like a vampire. I'm totally going to save her no matter what.”

“Even if she rarely writes or calls?”

“Or even if she completely steals my thunder and nearly blows my entire opportunity for winning the most esteemed prize at the Best Young Fliers Competition in Cloudsdale,” Rainbow muttered through a frown.

“I beg your pardon...?”

“But these dogs...” Rainbow Dash ignored him and went on. “They're a lot bigger and nastier than the ones we ran into outside of Ponyville. Also, it looks like they've been doing this slave-gathering thing for a while. I dunno who these poor saps are who fell into the canines' irons, but I get the feeling they've been stuck here for a long time.”

“Oh no. Don't you get started,” Lancie muttered.

Rainbow glanced behind. “Get started with what?”

“Somewhere deep down and right ahead of us...” Lancie pointed for emphasis. “...is the coveted shard that fell ever-so-dishonestly into these mangy mutts' paws. We're here to get that, not play Spartacolt...”

“Oh, come on...”

Lancie stood up straight and folded his arms. “For once in a million years, I am being completely and utterly serious.” His tongue unfolded like a buzzing party favor, and he slapped his mouth shut with an embarrassed twitch. “Ahem. As I was saying, we're here to get back what the black market stole from yours truly. Besides, you're one mare, and they are an entire rabid army of cat-chasers. And considering the way you've been curling up in bed as of late...”

“What in Celestia's fruity name are you even going on about?!”

“If you wanna commit suicide, do it on your own time... but after you get the shards that belong to me! Besides, getting the pieces of me is the one trick to earning good favors for Princess Frecklestasia, in case you've forgotten. Not playing Amneighsty International for a bunch of no-names with cloven hooves!”

“I don't think you get it, dude.” Rainbow Dash devilishly smirked. “The moment you decided to join me, you volunteered for a ride without stops.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“You can beg for a lot of things, but the fact of the matter is—I'm here. I saw those guys and gals in trouble... and I can't live with myself if I don't do something to stick it to the punks who put 'em in irons to begin with!”

“Unnnngh...” Lancie teetered from where he stood in her saddlebag. “I almost wish I had my esophagus back so I could gag!”

“One thing at a time, squirt.”

“Fine. Fine! If you wanna be that way, go shovel your own grave. I can tell when a pony and her ego need a moment to shine.”

“Huh...?”

“You wanna make this a one-pony-sneaking-mission. I get that. But don't be completely stupid about it. After all, I'm here to keep you alive...”

“...and get your shard, that is.”

“So one good favor deserves another!” He shrugged, then tapped the back of her head. “Remember, I'm here for you whenever you need me. The frequency is 140.15.”

“The buck does that mean?”

“Don't be an idiot. Check the back of the box.”

Rainbow sighed and rolled her eyes as she crept ahead. “My life was so much easier without Captain Dementia.”

“That's Colonel to you!” Whap! “Ow! Seriously, would it kill you to avoid those abominable hanging rock structures for once in your blue fuzzy life?!”

“Heh...”

Comments

[Tchernobog]

Princess Frecklestasia

“Yup!” He smirked. “Just pick a single cardinal direction and keep on flying until—”

[zaponator]

Solid Dash. Rainbow Snake.
...Rake.
Anyway, I like where this is going.

[Autumn Rush]

Including within the last few chapters, new score is 8!

[Lightning Bearer]

It just occurred to me: If she helps Discord, and he isn't a douche... well, I just wonder if Discord's redonkulously powerful magic can cure a certain condition. Though, something tells me Dash would protest...

“I figured you for a mare who was intensely familiar with caves.”

Holy shit.

[Lilith Evanson]

Heh, at least she's not bitter about the whole Rairty thing.

I really liked their conversation in this chapter. It had a lot of deep undertones of the pain Rainbow goes through. I've never wanted the girls to know more about her than I do now.

[AppleTank]

*looks at update schedule*
....motherfvcker.

[Aatxe360]

I like your new title cover.

[CasualMarshmallow]

How'd I miss this?

[VortexRyker]

Love the Discord and Rainbow Dash banter

[BabySkittleMonster]

“That's funny.” Lancie poked his head out from her satchel. “I figured you for a mare who was intensely familiar with caves.”
“Shhhh!” Rainbow Dash crawled until she was crouched behind a series of wooden crates. From there, she craned her neck and stared down a series of tunnels leading to some lamp-lit recess. “What makes you say that?” she eventually replied in a hoarse voice.
“Let's just say it's gut instinct,” Lancie said, rapping his own chest for emphasis. Plink! Plink! Plink! “Though, I can't blame you for detesting this whole 'labyrinth' business. You strike me as the kind of pony who likes to do things in a linear fasion.”
“Oh really...”
“Yup!” He smirked. “Just pick a single cardinal direction and keep on flying until—”

Oh, the references! any second now I expect her to be struck by a dizzy spell from being half-chaos. I'm now certain this author is either a fan or the same person under a different penname. There is nothing anyone can say to convince me otherwise!

[YoshiFawful64]

“That's funny.” Lancie poked his head out from her satchel. “I figured you for a mare who was intensely familiar with caves.”

“Yup!” He smirked. “Just pick a single cardinal direction and keep on flying until—”

Someone should count all these references.

[Full-time_Introvert]

“Holes,” she grumbled. “Why did it have to be holes?”

[Fishberry]

S-so many r-references...

So why do you make all these different accounts if you're going to make it so blatantly obvious who you are? For fun?

[Crochettail]

“Just pick a single cardinal direction and keep on flying until—”

. . . Okay then.

[Metal Aura]

she eventually replied in a hoarse voice.

HOARSE!

[arancaytar]

“Yup!” He smirked. “Just pick a single cardinal direction and keep on flying until—”

Oh you

[arancaytar]

7062743
Only a little hoarse.

[True Edge]

We're here to get that, not play Spartacolt...”

I’M SPARTACOLT!

NO, I AM SPARTACOLT!

THEY ARE LYING, FOR I AM THE REAL SPARTACOLT!!!