Appledashery

by Just Essay

Wheelie, Wheelie Bad

“Go go go go!” Rainbow squeaked, shoving Maud and Trixie along.

Daring galloped and Pinkie hopped not that far ahead. “Look, just calm down, Champ!” Daring exclaimed as the two came along the edge of a jagged plateau. “For real, what's the worse that a single diabolical unicorn can do with a bunch of stupid wheels—?!”

FWOOOSH! Eight more large discs appeared from the chasm below and swiped at the quintet.

“Cheese and crackers!” Daring Do shouted. She and Pinkie ducked as the wheels converged on them. The stone discs narrowly avoided their scalps and ricocheted off the earthen surface behind them. Rainbow Dash swiftly wrapped a forelimb around both Maud and Trixie and lifted them in time to leap over the bouncing wheels. Sparks flew and gravel rattled. The ponies tumbled to a stop while the discs spun around in the air, controlled by the cackling Sunset Shimmer from afar.

“Ooomf!” Daring tumbled against a clump of rocks with Pinkie landing upside down beside her.

Riiiiip! To Rainbow Dash's annoyance, she landed right against a stalagmite, and the sharp vertical spike had pierced its way between her coat and her turquoise suit. “Oh, you g-gotta be kidding me!”

“It's not the wheels that are dangerous, Daring,” Maud somehow caught her breath quickly enough to drone. “It's the stone that's in them.”

“No... really?!” Daring growled. “You're sure it's not cardboard that can crush a pony's body to pulp like that?!”

“Wheeeeeeeeeels,” Trixie drooled as Maud steadied her.

“Uhm... g-guys?!” Rainbow Dash gnashed her teeth, fighting and fidgeting to get her suit unstuck from the impaling stalagmite. “I'm having some trouble here...”

“A wardrobe malfunction?!” Pinkie squawked, upside down. “Dashie, you're not even performing on stage!”

“Seriously!” Rainbow gnashed her teeth. “If I don't get out of this... nnngh... out of this thing s-soon, then I'm done for—”

Maud took three calm steps towards Rainbow and gently slapped her hoof against the stalagmite. SMASSSSSSSH!!!

Rainbow winced as the entire cavern to her side filled with sediment and pebbles. Once the dust had settled, the stalagmite was completely decimated. Unfortunately, so was half of Rainbow's suit, which now barely clung to her petite figure in turquoise tatters.

“Oops.” Maud blinked for three and a half seconds. “I only meant to free you from your predicament.”

“Th-that's okay,” Rainbow said, ripping what was left of the suit up and yanking it off her body. “And you know what? You totally did.” A wry smirk. “And thanks for smashing the stone spike too.”

“Do not mention it.”

“Okay, look,” Daring grumbled. “I've written enough adventure stories to know when we're boned. This situation is bad-and-a-half. If that psychopony truly controls that many wheels, then there's no way we're getting out of here alive!”

“Oooooh!” Pinkie grinned wide. “Could you say that we're all in wheelie big trouble?!”

“... ... ...” Daring glared at her.

Pinkie turned to bequeath others her stupid smile.

Rainbow took a deep breath and faced Daring. “Only two of us can fly. Trixie's useless so long as she's affected by the chaos spell. I'd say you and I try to take out this Sunset Overdrive character while the others make a run for the tunnel we came in through.”

“You kidding?!” Daring wheezed. “We can't very well make a distraction if the wheels are fast enough to crush us in midair!”

“Then you guys will need a distraction on the ground so that we can have a distraction in the air!” Pinkie chirped. “It's like distractionception! Only with cute ponies and fuzz!”

“Ungh...” Daring rolled her eyes. “That has got to be the stupidest idea I have ever—”

SMASSSSH! A set of wheels slammed into a series of stalagtites above, raining pebbles and gravel onto the shivering quintet.

“I seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee youuuuuuuuu!” Sunset cackled and bellowed.

“May I make a suggestion?” Maud droned.

Rainbow nodded. “Shoot.”

Maud blinked. “Do what my sister says.”

“Buh?” Daring twitched.

“Right!” Rainbow stood up. “Daring, you're with me! Pinkie, you distract them!”

“Roger wilco, Rianbow Dasho!”

“Maud, hurry and take Trixie to the way out! Pinkie will join you once Daring and I have reached Sunset!”

“And what do we do then?!” Daring frowned. “Make out with her?!”

“You can make out with her!” Rainbow shouted. “I am going for the shard!”

“Nuh uh!” Daring hovered up, wings blurring. “I am getting the shard!”

Rainbow smirked. “Now that's the selfish spirit...”

“WheeeeEEEEEeeeels...”

“Here they come,” Maud droned.

“Pinkie!” Rainbow shouted. “Go go go go!”

“Go go go going!” Pinkie hopped and slid over in open view of the levitating unicorn. “Hey! Grumpy Saddle! Is that your mane or did a bowl of chili go bad?!”

“Your day of reckoning is at hoof!” Sunset tilted her glowing hoof forward.

Six wheels converged from opposite directions. Defying gravity and logic, Pinkie Pie effortlessly zipped between them, avoiding the smashing discs by milliseconds. THUD! TH-THUD! WHACK!

“Heeheehee!” Pinkie skidded to a stop along the edge of a plateau. “So you thought you could take over the world with wheels?! What? Too lazy to build a wagon?!”

“Hold... STILL!” Sunset growled. She swung her horn around.

Pinkie jumped a twirling disc, ducked two more, and somersaulted forward. She galloped, bounced, and cartwheeled past three more converging discs. Perched on a stalagmite, she grinned. “Hey! Knock knock!”

“I am going to grind you to a pulp and feed it to—”

“Knock knockkkkkkkkkkk!”

“WHO'S THERE?!”

“Doctor!”

“Doctor Who?!”

“No thanks, I'm a Star Trot fan!” SMASSSSH! Two wheels smashed the stalagmite beneath her, but Pinkie was too busy bouncing away with a high-pitched giggle. “Heeheehee!”

“Rrrrrrgh!” Sunset shook a hoof. “You'll be the first whose head will adorn the mantle above my—”

“Psssssssssst...!”

Sunset spun and looked up from her wheel. “Huh?!”

Rainbow Dash and Daring Do were sailing down at her with synchronized dive kicks. “Whinny long and prosper, ya melon fudge.”

WHAMMM!

“Aaaaugh!” Sunset yelped as all three ponies plunged off the wheel and into the depths of the cavernous sanctum below.

Comments

[Novi]

Pinkie jumped a twirling disc, ducked two more, and somersaulted forward. She galloped, bounced, and cartwheeled past three more converging discs. Perched on a stalagmite, she grinned. “Hey! Knock knock!”
“I am going to grind you to a pulp and feed it to—”
“Knock knockkkkkkkkkkk!”
“WHO'S THERE?!”
“Doctor!”
“Doctor Who?!”
“No thanks, I'm a Star Trot fan!” SMASSSSH! Two wheels smashed the stalagmite beneath her, but Pinkie was too busy bouncing away with a high-pitched giggle. “Heeheehee!”

I love Pinkie, I love knock-knock jokes and I love references. This was Perfect!

[BabySkittleMonster]

*Brain Overload* Guuh... Must... Have.. More...

[Sharp Quill]

“A wardrobe malfunction?!” Pinkie squawked, upside down. “Dashie, you're not even performing on stage!”

I'm too speechless to think of a snarky comeback.

“Knock knockkkkkkkkkkk!”

“WHO'S THERE?!”

“Doctor!”

“Doctor Who?!”

Impossible. The Doctor is back in Ponyville.

[Lightning Bearer]

I'm surprised at how much that title made me giggle.

Rainbow winced as the entire cavern to her side filled with sediment and pebbles. Once the dust had settled, the stalagmite was completely decimated. Unfortunately, so was half of Rainbow's suit, which now barely clung to her petite figure in turquoise tatters.

Suddenly, Rarity sighed with relief, and never knew why.

[zaponator]

I don't care how much you hate pinkie. I still say you write her delightfully.

[Leftover of Saikano]

5187063 Just a little mistake I did.

[BabySkittleMonster]

It just occurred to me (because I (for some crazy reason) am rereading the story) that Dash hasn't had a nightmare about her father in a while, nor has any mention of her losing her house come up. She also hasn't been to banners in a while (has she quit? Been fired?) and either she is feeling better or is ignoring her lameness for a while. This is just me wondering though. Knowing SSAE it's intentional.

Also, this sounds incredibly mean but I'm really hoping RD gets hurt badly here so her friends start to question where she's been. Or that she collapses in front of them or something. Just so they realise what she is going through.

[JAK0723]

synchronized dive kicks

Did anybody else remember evangelion?
38.media.tumblr.com/c26acb755de3044a71bdb71b7cb47504/tumblr_moodtmbbuz1qdszopo5_250.gif

[Appledash_Gurl]

*GASP* PINKIE DOESN'T LIKE DOCTOR WHO!?!?!?!??

[Tim the Planes-pony]

“Whinny long and prosper, ya melon fudge.”

[Phoenix Kitten]

Rainbow took a deep breath and faced Daring. “Only two of us can fly. Trixie's useless so long as she's affected by the chaos spell. I'd say you and I try to take out this Sunset Overdrive character while the others make a run for the tunnel we came in through.”

Can I just say, I thought that game was...inherently annoying.
Interesting idea, but it was just..the story was way too meta for me. and the whole combo mechanic just ruined the whole game for me, lots of the weapons just didn't work with it.
You can do better Insomniac, you really can, I played Spyro, I played Ratchet and Clank, I played Fuse, heck I played Resistance, all of them.. kilometers above SO.
All it felt like was a third rate Crackdown wannabe, and with Crackdown 3 looming on the horizon, not a good place to be.

..hmm.. oh, this chapter was great, Daring is a lot more tolerable when she shuts her narcissistic muzzle.

[LucyHorseThing]

“Oooooh!” Pinkie grinned wide. “Could you say that we're all in wheelie big trouble?!”

x2

[11thDoctor]

“Knock knockkkkkkkkkkk!”
“WHO'S THERE?!”
“Doctor!”
“Doctor Who?!”
“No thanks, I'm a Star Trot fan!”

[arancaytar]

“Th-that's okay,” Rainbow said, ripping what was left of the suit up and yanking it off her body. “And you know what? You totally did.” A wry smirk. “And thanks for smashing the stone spike too.”

RIP silly prom suit. Literally.

[arancaytar]

SMASSSSH! A set of wheels slammed into a series of stalagtites above, raining pebbles and gravel onto the shivering quintet.

Stalactites, stalagmites. ("Because fuck you that's why" -English)

#literallyunreadable

“I seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee youuuuuuuuu!” Sunset cackled and bellowed.

Heeeeere's Shimmy!

“And what do we do then?!” Daring frowned. “Make out with her?!”

EXCUSE me. SunLight is obviously the OTP for Shimmy.