Rainbow Dash lives an exciting life and is swiftly becoming the most daring, awesome pegasus in all of Equestria. She would gladly give it all up, though, just to confess her love to Applejack.
“Guhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...”
Rainbow Dash lay on the floor of her shower stall, body slumped against the floor, shoulders propped up against the wall. Steam rose around her as warm-warm drops thoroughly soaked her body and rinsed her mane.
“Guhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...”
At last, she tilted her miserable muzzle upwards, gargled some of the water raining down from the tiny thundercloud, and spat back it out in two directions split by a raised tongue.
She sighed and hugged herself, curling up under the steamy hot jets.
Her ruby eyes fell to the corner of the water-soaked compartment. She followed the trailing liquid in the dim light, her senses slowly piercing the fog of sleep to meet in the center of her brain.
She watched a lonely patch of tile as several small drops joined together, forming a large puddle of liquid.
“If I bring his pieces together... and he does nothing to help her...” Her teeth showed in a vicious frown. “Equestria won't have enough driveways for the gravel I'll make...”
“Want some bubbles? There's still a bottle out here—!”
”You're not coming in!” Rainbow hollered. She crossed her forelimbs in a huff. “Friggin' stone snake. Wish there was a way to put a cork in his mouth...”
There was a loud flushing sound right outside. ”Wowsers! Who knew pegasi could build these in the clouds!”
“H-huh?” Rainbow blinked, then shrieked like a filly as the shower drops pelting her turned to ice. “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiieeee! Celestia darn it!”
“Mmmmmffffnnnnghhhhhhhhhuuuuu...” Rainbow Dash slurred, her eyelids fluttering as her body tilted slowly from left to right.
“Are you trying to say 'muffin,' Dashie? Cuz you can buy four muffins with that, silly filly!”
“Muuuuuuuuuuuuuuu—Wat?” Rainbow's eyes blinked open. She was standing in Sugarcube Corner. Her mane was still freshly showered and a saddlebag hung tightly around her lithe figure.
Pinkie Pie grinned from the other end of the counter. The eatery was empty, save for them, and outside the world was dark as volcanic glass, save for the sparse glint of random porchlights and street lamps. “Or did you want some strudel? An Egg McMarefin?” She stuck her tongue out and giggled, knocking around the three golden bits lying atop the counter. “You're the first customer! I have the time to make you anything you like! Just say the word and I'll whip it up in a jiffy!”
“I... uhm...” Rainbow Dash dangled a dainty blue hoof forward. “Mmmmfghhh—just some... br-bread and oats... about three loaves and two bags.”
Pinkie's blue eyes blinked. “Bread and oats? Why, that doesn't sound very breakfasty!”
“Not for breakfast... for the road... mmmfnngh... sk-sky road...” Rainbow blinked and teetered... teetered and blinked. Her ears flicked, trying in vain to shake the leftover shower droplets from their fuzz. A chill ran through her body, waking her from the brief bout with unconsciousness. “Just bag 'em, Pinkie. Thankskaybye... zzznnnghhuuuuu...”
“Heeheehee!” Pinkie bounced back and forth, bagging the foodstuffs with relative ease. “I gotta say, Dashie! I'm not used to seeing you up this early! Got somewhere to be!”
A tiny antler'd serpent poked his head out from Rainbow's saddlebag. “Yeesh, could you imagine waking up to a voice like that every morning? Your eardrums would shatter.”
“Guhhh!” Rainbow's eyes flashed wide as she hollered, “Shut it!”
Pinkie jolted, eyes quivering. “Huh?!”
Rainbow did a double-take, then frowned at her saddlebag. Lancie had disappeared. “I... uhm... uhhh...” She turned towards Pinkie with a plastic smile. “Shut 'em tight, Pinkie! The bags, I mean.” She cleared her throat and sputtered, “Thanks a ton... y'know... for the service.”
“It's a pleasurooni from me to youni!” Pinkie folded the bags twice over and hoofed them across the counter. “I gotta say, seeing you so early really brightens my day, Dash-Dash! You gotta stop on by more often!”
“Seems like such a lousy shift...” Rainbow Dash pocketed the bread away into her satchel and squinted tiredly at Pinkie. “How the heck do you do it?”
“By standing straight up and squeeing! Just like this!” Pinkie took a deep, deep breath and whistled through grinning teeth. “Squeeeeeeeee!”
“Aren't you friggin' tired?”
“Pffft! Oh please, Dashie.” Pinkie waved a hoof. “I work hard so that the Cakes can depend on me! So what if they say that I'm occasionally a narcotic!”
“Narcotic?” Rainbow's face grimaced. “Wait... do you mean narcoleptic?”
“Huh?” Pinkie blinked. “That's weird!” She looked off towards the far end of the vacant eatery. “I could have sworn Mrs. Cake said—” THUD! She inexplicably fell over, mouth hanging open and drooling. “Zzzzzzzzzzzz-shnorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!”
Rainbow Dash blinked. She turned around. “Whatever. Pleasant dreams, Pinkie.”
“Hey! Wait up!” Lancie stuck his upper body out of Rainbow's flouncing saddlebag. “You're going to leave while there're perfectly good danishes here?!” He twirled his talons and licked his fang. “Don't worry, I'll swipe one for a road while Sleeping Buttocks can't see—” A blue wing slapped him. Whap! “Ow!” He rubbed his stone skull between his antlers. “Heh... guess I'm not much of a feather in your cap, huh? Heheheheh—” Wh-whap! “OW!”
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Ah, poor Dashie! Of course, that could describe the last.. Hunnerd n' fiddy chapters.
The banter with Discord is excellent, and Flutters' insight was, well, wow. I know I don't comment often, but I love this story!
(I wonder if Discord is the narrator?)
Pinkie as a
narcoticnarcoleptic makes far too much sense.Next time I have to work a shift at the buttcrack of dawn, I'll have to give this a shot. Worst case scenario: My boss sees me making strange noises while standing at attention, and decides I need a vacation.
4302871
I'm pretty sure Scootaloo is the narrator. Notice how it shifts to first person whenever she enters a scene.
4303071
4303013
Maybe we're all three wrong and it's narrated by multiple ponies!
Lol keep up good work. :)
New score: 4
H'oh shit! I'm not sure whether that was just a harmless joke, or whether it's foreshadowing of something... big.
Just sayin', Zecora seemed awfully concerned about the side-effects of that potion...
I just couldn't stop laughing at this. I think it's one of my favorite moments in this story.
4303013
"Steam rose around her as warm-warm drops thoroughly soaked her body and rinsed her mane.
she tilted her miserable muzzle upwards, gargled some of the water raining down from the tiny thundercloud"
So rainclouds can rain hot water?
Only occasionally. Sometimes I'm not drugs. The best part of all of this is that viewed a forth wall break this assertion was entirely correct. It falls in line with modern drug theory where paintings and fancy cheeses are considered drugs. A drug, in the most modern sense, is an object, internal or external which causes a change in brain function. Pinkie Pie is, by definition, a drug.