Appledashery

by Just Essay

Camp Dread

Top Dog raised a strip of bacon to his mouth... and bit onto it. Hard. "Grrrgghhh!" Hairs bristling on his back, he ripped and tore and shook at the dried meat in his fangs. Just then, he heard a ruffling of feathers. Curious, the boss mutt turned around, gulped the food down, and wiped the slobber off his chin. "Well?!"

His fellow diamond dogs looked over from where they sat in the dirt.

Flim and Flam stopped working on a complex steam-powered catapult. They craned their necks to see.

Several of Don Canter's thugs trotted out of a smattering of canvas tents. One of them held a viciously swirling eyeball in a green glass jar.

Romulus had just touched down with Sunset Shimmer. The one-eyed assassin dropped the unicorn to her hooves with very little ceremony and began brushing the dust off his limbs.

"What took you so long?!" Top Dog grabbed his polearm and marched over, growling. "You were gone for over twelve hours! Do you think we have that kind of time to spare?!" He pointed a paw at the thugs standing behind him. "Do you think your employer has that kind of time to spare?!"

"A fine sprinkling of enlightenment would surely get you out of our contempt, our dear feline fowl," Flam said. He adjusted his bow tie and cleared his throat. "While one does appreciate a certain degree of strategic reconnaissance, it is possible to take it too far."

"We were..." Romulus took a deep, seething breath. "Detained."

"Detained?!" Top Dog frowned. "Don't tell me you actually lossssst our scrumptious pony target!"

"Quite the opposite, actually," Romulus slurred.

"Now, nopony panic," Sunset Shimmer said, waving a hoof. "But there's been a bit of a development—"

"Oh for Goddess' sake—" Romulus groaned, reached out, and yanked Rainbow Dash out into the open from behind a thicket. "There."

Brothers gasped. Henchstallions yelled. Dogs barked. Squidgy swirled.

"Uhhhhhhhh..." Rainbow waved a limp hoof. "Hiya. How's it hoofin'?"

"BLOOOOOD!" Top Dog howled, immediately stampeding forward. With high-pitched whines, two of his canine companions joined them, holding their polearms out like spears.

Cl-Clakkka! Several of Don Canter's thugs cocked their shotguns all at once. "Fill her with lead, boys!"

"She's not getting away this time!" Flam spun the brass catapult around and shoved Flim towards the instrument panel. "Load her up, old chap! For Mother's glory—!"

"Wait—!" Sunset shrieked.

"Raaaaaaaaaaaaugh!" Top Dog sailed straight at Rainbow, his fanged muzzle lunging for her jugular.

Frowning, Rainbow squatted low and dragged a hoof across the earth—

Schiiiiing! All of the sudden, Romulus stood in front of her, both daggers drawn. "Htttt!" He flew up, blocked Top Dog's spear in mid-flight, then uppercutted him with a massive kick. WHACK!

"Wooof!" Top Dog flew back like a ragdoll. Thud! He hit the ground, knocking up dust and clumps of dirt.

Rainbow blinked.

"Rrrrgh!" Romulus punched another charging canine in the chest, flung him into a third diamond dog, then slashed the spear of a third thug's weapon in two. "Stand down!"

BLAM! Hot lead pellets flew over Rainbow's ducking head.

"Raaaugh!" Romulus twirled, flung two daggers, and knocked the shotguns out of two henchstallions' grasp. Cl-Clank! "I mean it!"

"Oh no!" Flim hyperventilated, seething as he pulled a lever on the complex catapult mechanism. "We've lost far too much to let this malevolent mare go free!" Just as he tried to pull the lever—

FLASH! Sunflowers and weeds grew out of the instrument panel.

"Gaah!" Flim and Flam hobbled back. "What...?!"

Sunset glared at them, panting and sweating. Sparks flew out of her injured horn as she slurred: "Cut it out!" She spun to face the others. "All of you! This is important!"

"No... this is asenine!" One of Don Canter's thugs folded his forelimbs, frowning. "What's the meaning of this, assassin? Have you gone traitorous on us?"

"I have not and will never betray my business partners!" Romulus shouted. His booming voice echoed across the arid valley, then settled. In the ensuing silence, he paced down the line of thugs, glaring at each and every one of them. "We ran into... some locals. Things got hairy. They captured the unicorn, myself, and our target here. They only let us out when we... mrmmmm... mutually agreed to acquire the shards from the dragons together."

"Huh?!"

"What?!"

"Together?!"

"Have you gone mad?!"

"Arf!"

"Silence!" Romulus waved a glinting dagger in the air. His eye swung left, then right, then centered on Don Canter's thugs. "There are locals living here who know the ins and outs of the dragon's lair. It's a floating castle, powered by the chaos magic of the shards in Big Boss' possession. Now... our target here has been crafty enough to enter the Castle at least once, but she lacked the resources to properly acquire the shards on her own. As it turns out, Aatxe's minions are too numerous and too powerful for any one pony—or group—to steal the chaos pieces back from the totem that these draconian jerkholes have made of it!"

"Grnngh..." Top Dog struggled to his paws, sneering. "The only jerkhole I see is you... for stooping so low as to make a deal with this ssssssstupid pony!"

"Hey." Rainbow looked over. "Dogs are dumber than what."

Top Dog blinked. "What?"

The other diamond dogs laughed.

"Grrrrr!" Top Dog pivoted about and kicked them. "Stop LAUGHING!"

"Look. At this point, we don't have many options," Sunset Shimmer said, recovering from her magical exercise. "Either we work with the pegasus to get all of the shards... or none of us get any of them."

"Mmmmm..." One of the henchstallions leaned back. "I still don't like this. There's nothing to say that we can't kick the stupid dragon tails on our own."

"Trust me." Romulus said, glaring. "They are stronger than anything I, you, or any of Don Canter's forces have faced yet. If we wish to take the shards back, working together with every experienced soul is the only way to make it happen. We've also got the support of the locals if we do it this way... but only this way." The griffon shook his head. "I'm not too fond of this development either, but the only other alternative is death."

One of the henchstallions narrowed his eyes. "Don Canter's not going to like this."

"Then once the unicorn's horn is in better working order..." Romulus pointed at Sunset. "We'll bring him here. I'll ask him myself, since we all know that you would be too cowardly."

The thugs glanced at one another.

Flim and Flam stared in an astonished stupor.

"Well?!" Romulus snarled, glaring at everyone. "We haven't much time to deliberate, you meatbags?! So what's it gonna be?"

Dreadful silence hung over the camp site.

Comments

[RoboRed]

And they'll all be like one happy family, for sure.

[Sharp Quill]

Still not sure what Squidgy brings to this party, other than comic relief.

[Phoenix Kitten]

"Hey." Rainbow looked over. "Dogs are dumber than what."
Top Dog blinked. "What?"
The other diamond dogs laughed.
"Grrrrr!" Top Dog pivoted about and kicked them. "Stop LAUGHING!"

Ah... classic.

Flim and Flam are deranged. At least the others kept their faculties... to a degree.

Is there a word for the type of magic that would let somepony grow plants on a whim?
Floramancy?

[Lightning Bearer]

6469305

His eye for detail is unparalleled.

[RoboRed]

6469305
Squidgy is love. Squidgy is life.

[Jern]

6469414 Not to mention his incredible foresight.

[Aatxe360]

6469340

Chiamancy.

[Hestia]

Well this is awkward.

[zaponator]

Off to a great start!

[BabySkittleMonster]

6469414
6469458
You two scare me.

[arancaytar]

Well, that went better than expected.

[DIRKWITHAGUN]

between this chapter and the last, i have been spoilt for what i assume to be the ending.

not that anyone here cares lmfao, but why not leave a comment anyway?