Appledashery

by Just Essay

Every Dash Has Her Day

The sun was starting to set over the arid landscape to the west. A huge chunk of the group had wasted no time, galloping off towards the hills in the distance within minutes of having reached the earth's surface. Sliver by sliver, members of the freed slaves broke off, trotting towards the closest known clusters of civilization. Hours later, only a small bunch of quadrupeds remained, along with Iron Will. This group spent up most of their strength digging at the top layer of dirt, hoping against hope that they might somehow expose a sliver of blue fuzz to the flickering sun.

Alas, despite their concentrated efforts, Rainbow Dash—their savior—was nowhere to be found. Autumn Rush was absolutely distraught about this, and it took the sheer muscle of Iron Will to move her from her stalwart position. Nobody wanted to say it out loud, but there was the very real threat of diamond dogs popping out of the dirt at any given moment, and by that time they would surely be overwhelmed by their prior captors. The important thing to do was flee to Equestrian lands, and they did so—begrudgingly—in a solemn train heading southwest under the purple hush of evening.

Along the crest of a hill, hidden in a cluster of cacti, a tiny statue sat. Lancie hugged a giant legbone to his chest whilst propping his granite spine back against a rock.

“Hmmmmm...” He sighed with a rise and fall of his rocky chest. “It was the bark of times; it was the woof of times.” Silence. He stared aside at a shifting mound of dirt. “You gonna pop your head up now or what?”

The desert stand was still.

“Seriously. Even if it was still bright out, I doubt any of their doe eyes could see you from this distance.”

“Guhhhh!” Rainbow Dash popped out, shaking clumps and layers of sand off her head and tail with vigorous quivers. “Mmmmm-bleachkkk! I've got dirt in holes that I didn't know had other holes in 'em!”

“Well, at least we know you're trained to use a sandbox.”

“Seriously, though...” Rainbow Dash batted one side of her head, then the other, popping out loose flakes of dirt from her ears. “Are they actually leaving now?”

“Yeah. I think they finally got tired of sobbing hysterically over their hero's inexplicably missing corpse.”

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “Yeesh. Don't rub it in like that.”

“I only wish I didn't have to.” Lancie squinted. “What's the dealio, Sparkio? Why play possum? You definitely don't strike me as a mare who likes to give up the spotlight.”

“And I don't. Not usually.” Rainbow gulped. “But.”

“Butttttttt...?”

Rainbow sighed and plopped down on her haunches. Her dirt-stained figure formed a cold shadow in the sunset. “I didn't expect to go so far over my own head,” she muttered. “I didn't just lock horns with a basilisk or cyclops. I royally screwed an entire city of renegade canines. Idiotic and violent ones to boot. As much as I love a good melee, I ain't stupid.” She glanced aside with brightly blinking eyes. “Do I really wanna give them a reason to follow me back to Ponyville? An open invitation to attack all of my friends and neighbors? A free season on ponies?”

“Uhhhhh...” Lancie scratched his chin with the legpiece and smiled awkwardly. “Can I take the physical challenge?”

Rainbow sighed. “Better to just let these mutts assume that I'm dead and have the loose trail end there. And, as totally uncool as it is, that includes me letting the rest of those strangers assume I'm a goner too.”

“Yeesh. That's deep. Deeply sucky.”

“I know. I know.” Rainbow Dash hung her head. “I kicked so much flank right now. And all for what?”

Lancie whistled innocently, twirling the legpiece in front of him like a baton.

Rainbow Dash scowled at him. “How come that hasn't—like—attached to you or some crap?”

“Because I have to have all the pieces compiled together if I'm to become my handsome self once again.” Lancie cleared his throat. “But what's that matter to a frisky fuzzball like you? I was able to snap-crackle-pop you with some power in the end!”

“Eeeeugh!” Rainbow Dash double-face-hoofed with a groan. “Mmmmmf—Don't remind me. My opportunity... my one opportunity and I blew it!”

“Yes, you certainly did.”

Rainbow Dash plopped down on her chest, coughing at the resulting dust cloud.

Lancie waved a talon before his fanged muzzle. “Still, for what it's worth, you have as many opportunities to blow as I body parts!” He smirked, then fidgeted. “Mmmm—give or take a torso.”

“Nnnngh... you sure you don't have enough juice in you to—I dunno—snap your finger and create Applejack an awesome new space barn that can store a million livestock in it or something?”

“I'm afraid not, Sparky, though that would make for one Hell of a Spring Break.”

Silence... then finally Rainbow sighed.

“Why...?”

Lancie squinted at her. “Why what?”

“Why am I so lame?” She fwomped over onto her back, staring up at the desert sky as the first of several stars began blossoming. “I can be so awesome and do so many killer cool things... and in the end?” She let her hooves fall to her side as a gust of wind blew at her mud-caked mane. “I'm still... this.”

“And just what is 'this,' my little pony?”

She turned her head to glare at him. “Alone.”

Lancie leaned on his legbone like a cane. “Well, you've got me to talk to, haven't you?”

Rainbow Dash looked like she was going to vomit.

“Fine... Fine!” Lancie cleared his throat. “You've got friends in low, humble places. From what I understand, one of them bakes for you, one of them researches for you, another one talks like a vampire for you, a fourth one gives you a kind listening ear, and last but not least we have that one curious farm specimen that makes you do naughty things in the shower.”

“Pffft!” Rainbow's voice cracked forth a chuckle. “I do not do naughty things in the shower.”

“Yes, because in your book, she makes them perfectly angelic.”

Rainbow Dash stood up and glared in his face. “Okay. Enough of this crap. I want you to tell me one thing.”

“I swear, I wasn't listening for too long,” he said with a fanged smirk.

“Not that!” Rainbow took a deep breath. “Did you know that I'd end up having to use you to help the prisoners escape?”

“Why, whatever do you mean?”

“Don't play dumb with me! You're a lot older and smarter than you look.”

“Why thank you. You're a lot prettier and healthier than you pretend to be too.”

“Did you or did you not know that in the end I'd be having to use you to save the prisoners' hides?! Huh?! Answer me!”

Lancie stared at her. He blinked. “You want the truth, Sparky?”

“The whole truth!”

He shrugged, then said in a calm, neutral voice. “When we ended up in that last corridor there, at the end of that vehicle's rampage, with our backs to the walls and the dozens upon dozens of poor woodland creatures about to be given the axe... and you had given me the signal to do something for your precious freckle faerie?” He took a breath. “I would have gone and done what you asked.”

Rainbow Dash stared blankly past him.

“You think the lives of so many silly things matter to me?” he remarked. “Do you think you matter to me?”

Her eyes jerked towards him.

He smirked, pointing at his own chest. “I'm mostly harmless, for sure. But doing no harm doesn't necessarily equate to doing no good.”

“Then how can I trust you?” she murmured.

“You can't. But I have something that you need—or rather want. And the world has something I need, but a pony like you can get.” He scurried up onto her backside and slung the legbone over his shoulders. “Yupppp... after all, we're attached to one another, remember? I really can't rely on anypony else.”

Rainbow was silent.

“In the end, when all of my parts are together, we'll split up, and nopony will ever have to know about the talking garden gnome that badgered you day in and day out. You'll be back to living the life of a daredevilish pegasus, and maybe—quite possibly—your would-be-marefriend will have ascended to virtual apple-bucking godhood thanks to yours truly. But that's not all me, of course. I can do you a favor piece-by-piece, but you gotta aim where the chaos cannon is pointing, if you catch my drift.”

Rainbow Dash took a deep breath. “Top Dog was a nobody. But with that part of you in his possession, he was gonna friggin' wreck everything he got his paws on.”

Lancie glanced curiously at her.

She started trotting forward, heading southwest against the evening breeze. “Who's to know what those other pieces are doing. And to think that freaks like Aatxe and his whelps are after them...”

“Hey...” Lancie shrugged with a smirk. “So everyone wants a piece of me! Can anyone blame them?”

“I can,” Rainbow Dash muttered. “Because I'm the only pony who's onto them. And now I know that all this crud is far too dangerous for me to leave alone.” She flapped her wings and took off, gliding slowly—thoughtfully—towards home. “I gotta bring this to Noir's attention. He's gotta know something that can help me find the other pieces faster. Cuz this is huge. It's bigger than me... bigger than Ponyville... bigger than—”

“Everypony?” Lancie remarked, wagging his stone eyebrows.

Rainbow Dash sighed through a weary smile. “Well... almost everypony.”

Lancie leaned in and whispered into her ear. “Bet you can't wait to go home and shower.”

“Buck off!” Rainbow grunted, and threaded her way over the desert horizon.

Comments

[Novi]

So much variation in these chapters.. I love this!

[Lightning Bearer]

Hmmm. Let's see. *pulls abacus out of hammer-space*

We're already a hundred and eighty-seven chapters into this thing. This arc alone lasted for about thirty chapters. If subsequent shard-retrieval voyages are of comparable length, and if we factor in the variable for how many Discord-pieces there are in all, and if we allow some room for other story-elements and the over-arching Appledashery after which the story is named...

Damn. What's the max chapter limit these days? Or is this thing gonna go the route of Easthorse and sequel itself into the horizon?

[VortexRyker]

4452490
I got no clue how long this is gonna go for but if it keeps up the way it does i don't want it to end.

[Lightning Bearer]

4453617

Seconded.

[zaponator]

This was a real good arc. The Lancie/Rainbow Dash due performed exactly as awesomely as expected.
With such a strong showing, we can only hope they get renewed for season 2.

Also, in all seriousness, Rainbow Dash is gonna need a hell of a shower.

[Lilith Evanson]

4452490

I feel like the author's goal is to reach 500 chapters. Cause we might be heading in that direction.

Just a feeling.

[PropMaster]

4455412 Try 2000.

[Future Regret]

Oh god, I can't stop laughing at the shower bits.

[DrEggnog]

So, every piece of Discord that's found allows him one chaos point to spend on a miracle? Hadn't really gathered that before.

Though, if random miracles just start dropping out of the sky for Applejack, she might be more weirded out than happy.

[Metal Aura]

5906229 "shower bits"

[arancaytar]

they might somehow expose a sliver of blue fuzz to the flickering sun.

Hmmm... Let's count it. Drink.

“Do I really wanna give them a reason to follow me back to Ponyville? An open invitation to attack all of my friends and neighbors? A free season on ponies?”

As noble as that is, you should really think about getting a costume (preferably cape-less) if you're going to be doing this regularly. Secret identities don't last long when anybody could recognize you from a description.

[arancaytar]

“Pffft!” Rainbow's voice cracked forth a chuckle. “I do not do naughty things in the shower.”

Not in the shower.