Appledashery

by Just Essay

Grin and Deer It

“The way I see it,” Autumn Rush said while daintily girl-stepping down the tunnel. “Top Dog is a slightly more evolved version of bipedal canines, and all the ones who answer to his call are on a lower rung of the biological scale.”

“Or perhaps, y'know, they're all just imbeciles.” Rainbow Dash flapped her wings and turned around. “How's everyone doing back there?!”

No less than eight dozen hobbling quadrupeds murmured and nodded back. The massive procession crept along as swiftly as they could passing corridors and chambers and tunnels a'plenty.

“Good! Just keep following us! Everything's gonna be coolie crispies!” Rainbow smiled, then spun to face forward.

“Do you... uh... know where we're going?” Autumn Rush asked.

“I've no friggin' clue,” Rainbow muttered under her frozen grin. Her ruby eyes darted aside. “You've been back and forth to the surface. Don't you know which turns we should be making to get up there?”

“I'm sorry, Miss Dash.” Autumn gulped. “I was a teensy bit busy passing out from being worked to death.”

“Who'd a figured you would be so miserable at being miserable?” Rainbow sighed, her ears folded. “It's alright, though. I'll think of something. I always think of something.”

“Oh...?”

“Well, okay, so maybe I just smash stuff and eventually fate thinks itself up a solution.”

“At the risk of sounding like a broken record, Miss Dash—but what exactly are you doing down here?”

“Hmmm? I said it before. I'm looking for an enchanted shard,” Rainbow said. “And I found it...” She sighed. “Top Dog's using it for the same friggin' machine that owned me like a junkyard mule.”

“I don't believe that for one second.”

“So what? He did! Man, could that drill bit whallop the heck outta—”

“No, I mean I don't believe that this is all about the shard.” Autumn Rush glanced back at the procession of prisoners, then back up at the pegasus. “Why would you go so far out of your way to protect all of us if there was only one thing you wanted from this place?”

“Look, girl, not everybody in the world is a selfish jerkenstein who wants to take advantage of you.”

“Huh?”

Rainbow Dash smirked at her. “I'm not a fan of bullies, y'hear? What's been happening to you and your pals in this place is super rotten, and I won't stand for it continuing.” She shrugged in mid-flight. “Let's just say that the shard's something of a fringe benefit at this point.”

“Alright...” Autumn Rush nodded.

“What, you don't believe me?”

The deer smiled faintly. “I believe your loyalty betrays your guile, Miss Dash.”

“Hrmmmf...” The pegasus sighed out her nostrils. “Story of my friggin' life.”

“Answer me this. Are all ponies as small and lithe as you?”

“The friggin' heck is that supposed to mean?”

“It's just a bit remarkable that somepony so petite could kick so much flank, is all.”

“Yeah, well...” Rainbow Dash glanced down at her legs. She flexed and unflexed her hooves. There was no numbness, much to her relief. “There's more here than meets the eye.”

“Perhaps that's what Iron Will saw in you.”

Just then, with a rattle of armor, a guard shuffled in from an adjacent corridor. “Work work work...” He paused, glancing over and blinking at the massive crowd. “Woof?”

Rainbow flew in. She slammed a hoof into his gut, uppercutted him, swung behind his reeling backside, grabbed his waist with two forelimbs, and then suplex'd him hard into a crumbling stalacmite. Kipping up onto all fours, she flapped her wings and casually looked Autumn's way. “You were saying?”

“Just that Iron Will knew that there was potential in you, otherwise the minotaur wouldn't have left his cage to help you out in the first place.” Autumn awkwardly stepped over the unconscious dog and continued walking. “Not many of us have a clue as to who you are, Miss Dash, but we do know Iron Will. The moment he chose to lend you a hoof... well...”

“Well what?”

Autumn Rush smiled slightly. “It gave us hope.”

“Oh really...”

“I know it may not seem like it, what with our complacent we all seem,” she said with a slight chuckle. “But it's made a world of a difference. Believe me.”

“Hmmm...” Rainbow Dash rubbed her chin, gazing down the adjacent tunnels in thought.

“What is it?”

“Just thinking... hope needs to hope in itself for once.” Her wings flapped harder. “Autumn. You think you can lead this group down this tunnel on your own?”

“Uhm... I-I guess?”

“Good. I need to fly on ahead.”

“Intend to scout out?”

“Sorry. But that's your job for the time being.”

“Huh?”

“I need to find the big lug.”

“You mean Iron Will?”

“No, Stephen Magnet. Who do you think?!” Rainbow Dash smirked. “It's clear to me that he's the one dude here who's actually dealing with a threat, and I owe it to him to get him free.”

“Well... I'm certainly not going to argue with that.” Autumn gulped. “You think you can find him on your own?”

“Not like I've got much of a choice,” Rainbow said. She paused to squint down at the doe. “Unless, of course, you and your friends have stumbled upon an animated little serpent statue with antlers and a sassy attitude?”

“Uhhhhhh... what?”

“Yeah. Didn't think so.” Rainbow Dash held a hoof up as she floated backwards. “Live long and canter.” Spinning about, she shot down the nearest tunnel she could, breaking away from the group as she began a feverish search through the labyrinthine depths of the place.

Comments

[Sheendough]

Here's one thing I never get: why is Dash always supposed to be the shortest? Nothing in the show indicates she's the smallest (in fact, she seems to be about the same size as Applejack's).

[Jay_Baker]

Oh well to adventure!!!

[zaponator]

Ah yes, just in time for the rescued group to make it home safely without Rainbow Dash anywhere nearby to take credit.

[Pilate]

4417294
Because authors. Also it lends to some thematic point about how Dash sees herself and her character and blah blah blah literature.

[Sheendough]

4418876 I know, but it's odd that many authors/artists always pick her as the shortest. So far, I think Ezrienel and Arbyworks (and I?) are the only ones I've seen that depict her as average-sized.

[Tchernobog]

"Live long and canter.”

[Scohinyha Sanka]

4419469 It might also be because she's a Pegasus (being smaller and lighter aids the ability to fly) but that's my reasoning.

[BabySkittleMonster]

4421387
Besides, short Dash is best Dash. Always.

[Full-time_Introvert]

4421387 But then why is fluttershy bigger than dash in most fics?

[Future Regret]

4417294
Because it concentrates her already high bad ass content.

[LucyHorseThing]

"No, Stephen Magnet. Who do you think?!"

I actually thought she was going to find him for a second...

[Weehawk]

4417294 I get this is old as balls but really she might be larger than average given she's a top athlete and many times (probably animation error) seems slightly taller in fim and eqg

[arancaytar]

Autumn Rush smiled slightly. “It gave us hope .”

Stop trying to make Raindeer happen, as adoracute as it is.