Appledashery

by Just Essay

Daring Do, Where Are You?

“How much further along?” Rainbow asked.

“Much... much further,” Trixie said, grumbling. She squinted as she trotted slowly forward, aiming her glowing horn towards the end of the dark, dark tunnel. “It's somewhere deep below us. Trixie suspects a cavern of some sort.”

“Does a shaft lead into it?”

“Do I look like a 'Great and Powerful Spelunker?!'”

“Chillax, lady!” Rainbow stammered. “I'm just asking because I wanna know if I need to soar down somewhere to collect—”

“Just shut your trap and stay behind Trixie!”

“Hrmmm...” Rainbow frowned.

“You've gotta hoof it to her!” Daring smirked as she trotted beneath the mare. “She's got spunk!”

“Yeah, and no social sponge to soak it up with.”

“Says who?”

“Says the pegasus who witnessed first-hoof when Trixie showed up in Ponyville, the Town of Friendship, and FAILED.”

“Shhhhhh!” Trixie hissed. “This is not conducive to Trixie's concentration!”

“I take it you two have bad blood, huh?” Daring said.

“We have bad fuzz,” Rainbow grumbled. “The needle didn't even go deep enough to break a vessel.”

“Ahhh...” Daring paused to write in a notepad. “I see...”

“What are you, all of the sudden, some sort of pony psychologist?” Rainbow spat. “Take your... s-saddle soap opera somewhere else, lady!”

“No can do!” Daring flipped the notepad shut and continued trotting. “My adventure is my word and my word is my adventure! If I can't stop to take account of the ponies and their strengths and their weaknesses and their conflicts—”

“—uhhhh...”

“—then I can't possily begin to draft a good outline to my stories!” Daring smiled wide. “And sucky stories mean sucky bits. And sucky bits mean less cider at the bar on a Saturday.” She hovered just long enough to elbow Rainbow's side. “Ya get my drift, Drifty?”

Rainbow shoved her back, rubbing her ribcage with a frown. “Wow. I had no idea that writers were such fertilizer bags.”

“Hmm?”

Rainbow squinted at the adventurer. “Here we are in the belly of some goddess-forsaken mining town, facing dangerous caverns and killer griffons to fetch a piece of pure chaos, with Noir and the rest of the Lunar Code at risk—much less Equestria itself—and the only thing you can think of is how to turn it all into a book someday?”

“Well, look at you! Miss Crusader!” Daring saluted with a dirty wink. “And I suppose you're after the shard for purely altruistic reasons as well, huh?”

Rainbow opened her mouth, but hesitated. “Uhhm...”

“Were they the same reasons that brought you to Photo Finish's doorstop?” Daring grinned. “You do realize I'm not stupid, right? I knew the whole 'Firefly' thing was a cover even before your adorable pink friend arrived. Tell me, was the shard all that you robbed from Ms. Finish's panic room? Hmmm?”

“That shard was bad news for Photo and her entire family from the start,” Rainbow snarled. “You think Don Canter wants Noir's neck?! They were ready to gut Photo and her kids all in one go.”

“Oh, I know!” Daring nodded. “I witnessed you going to town on them in the Manehattan apartment building!”

Rainbow's eyes twitched. “You... s-saw that?!”

“Granted, my vision was a little foggy. I tend to suffer brief seizures when exposed to... oh, I dunno... chaotic photo collages.” Daring stuck her tongue out. “You're a clumsy adventurer... but you obviously know how to get the job done.” She smiled as she trotted ahead. “That's why I let you get away with the shard in Neigh York.”

Rainbow frowned. “What do you mean you 'let me get away' with it?!”

“Just what it sounds like!” Daring called back. “But that was your only freebie, Champ! This time, the shard's going home with me. This is my time to get the glory from the Lunar Code!”

“You... can't possibly be friggin' serious.”

“Hey, nobody reads a book about the sidekick, now do they?” Daring giggled. “Your help is appreciated, Firefly... Rainbow Dash... whatever your real name is.” She glanced back with a wicked smirk. “But when all of this is said and done—team or no team—I go in and alone and I come out alone, always with what I want.”

“I might have a disagreement with that.”

“And you might turn water into piss. Everything falls down when kicked in the right place. Keep that in mind when it's my time to shine.”

“But... y-you can't possibly expect me to—”

“Whoah, there, Merylnette!” Daring steadied Trixie's shoulder. “Careful! Almost tripped over a crag in the floor there!”

“The Great and Powerful Trixie thanks you.”

“Hey! No problem! That's me! Daring Do! Team Player Extraordinaire!” She chuckled, keeping close to the unicorn. “Stick with me, and no more bad stuff will happen to you.”

“Good, because that rainbow pony has done nothing but bring Trixie heartache.”

“Ha ha! I know, right?! Say, have you ever read...”

Rainbow slowed her flight, allowing the two to shuffle out of earshot. Rainbow glared at the bobbing light of Trixie's horn and how it cast Daring's shadow in multiple places. She sighed, then glanced over her shoulder. “You two sisters having fun back there?”

“Sure thing, Dashie!” Pinkie bounced, wearing a tight blue shirt with a snow-white cap. “Escapade Time! Heehe—or something like that.”

“We are surrounded by rocks,” Maud droned. A few seconds later. “I am having the time of my life.”

“Nnnngh...” Rainbow slumped in mid-drift. “If you say so. Celestia, I feel like an extra band pony in the brass section...”

Lancie slipped his muzzle out of the bag. “Don't you mean a 'fifth-wheel?'”

“Dude!” Rainbow hissed, slapping her satchel with a turquoise-sleeved hoof. “Stay in there!”

“I-I just felt it was a good opportunity for a title-drop!”

“Knock it off! For real!”

“Say Dashie!” Pinkie sing-songed. “Who are you grunting secretly to?!”

“Oh... uhm...” Rainbow fidgeted. “The rocks! I was t-talking to the rocks!”

“What did they say?” Maud asked.

Rainbow blinked back at her.

“Sometimes,” Maud droned. “They tell me to set fire to the drapes.” A three and a half second blink. “That's when I decide it's time to talk to concrete instead.”

Comments

[Lord Dragon]

Yep, that's my girl!

[Sharp Quill]

Ponders the chapter's title... just a coincidence, right? Right?

“Does a shaft lead into it?”

Oooh... me like double entendre.

Rainbow shoved her back, rubbing her ribcage with a frown. “Wow. I had no idea that writers were such fertilizer bags.”

Come on, JE. It's not all about you.

“Oh, I know!” Photo nodded. “I witnessed you going to town on them in the Manehattan apartment building!”

I didn't think Photo Finish was in a state to witness much of anything... oh wait...

[FloydienSlip]

Have I mentioned how much I love your Maud?

[Lightning Bearer]

What are you, all of the sudden, some sort of pony psychologist?” Rainbow spat. “Take your... s-saddle soap opera somewhere else, lady!”

Oh you.

[RoboRed]

Dat chapter title. *hue*

“What are you, all of the sudden, some sort of pony psychologist?” Rainbow spat. “Take your... s-saddle soap opera somewhere else, lady!”

I see what you did there.

“Oh, I know!” Photo nodded. “I witnessed you going to town on them in the Manehattan apartment building!”

What...what? Where did Photo come from?

“But when all of this is said and done—team or no team—I go in and alone and I come out alone, always with what I want.”

“I might have a disagreement with that.”

“And you might turn water into piss. Everything falls down when kicked in the right place. Keep that in mind when it's my time to shine.”

...Yeah, something tells me that this shard is gonna be extra fun to get.

“Sometimes,” Maud droned. “They tell me to set fire to the drapes.” A three and a half second blink. “That's when I decide it's time to talk to concrete instead.”

[RainbowJack2000]

All this just to get AJ to like her?
Can't you just send her a love note or something?

[CommanderCuddle]

i feel like reading this from the start again, and i have no idea why

[TwilightUCrazy]

Dash, you must have it bad, girl. I can't even begin to imagine what Skirttles has in store for you next.

[bobbananaville]

HOLY SHIT ON A STICK.
This is going to be a very terrible exam week, considering I'll be preoccupied with this.

[silverspawn]

“No can do!” Daring flipped the notepad shut and continued trotting. “My adventure is my word and my word is my adventure! If I can't stop to take account of the ponies and their strengths and their weaknesses and their conflicts—”

“—uhhhh...”

“—then I can't possily begin to draft a good outline to my stories!” Daring smiled wide. “And sucky stories mean sucky bits. And sucky bits mean less cider at the bar on a Saturday.” She hovered just long enough to elbow Rainbow's side. “Ya get my drift, Drifty?”

Rainbow shoved her back, rubbing her ribcage with a frown. “Wow. I had no idea that writers were such fertilizer bags.”

this is some pretty hilarious dialogue

I used to have a friend with a strong dislike for daring do; she said that if somepony writes about her own stories, she must be very arrogant. I've never seen anyone else share this interpretation though, and I really like that that's exactly what Daring is here. She's honestly kind of a jerk, but in a cool way. And the fact that she wants the shard for herself... that can only mean trouble.

[arancaytar]

Rainbow shoved her back, rubbing her ribcage with a frown. “Wow. I had no idea that writers were such fertilizer bags.”

Wait, I get it!

The reason Daring Do is annoying is that she is a self-deprecating author avatar!

[arancaytar]

“Stick with me, and no more bad stuff will happen to you.”

“Good, because that rainbow pony has done nothing but bring Trixie heartache.”

“Ha ha! I know, right?! Say, have you ever read...”

Oh you conniving little

[arancaytar]

“Sometimes,” Maud droned. “They tell me to set fire to the drapes.” A three and a half second blink. “That's when I decide it's time to talk to concrete instead.”

"Concrete is a lot more laid back and hardly ever tells me to kill my entire family."

[True Edge]

Hmmm. . . . All the other characters are nearly spot on, personality wise. . . But not Daring. . . She would never put money ahead of ponies' safety. Not to mention, she claims to be Noir's agent, but not once have we heard about her fetlock lighting up around Dash. . . . Horseton, we have a problem. . . a Changeling problem.