Appledashery

by Just Essay

Me, Myself, and Ah

At last, the cave opened up, and a pegasus pony gazed upon the landscape west of the griffon wind barricade for the first time in millennia.

Rather anticlimactically, it took a good half-minute for the mare's eyes to adjust. When they did, she saw a wide open plain of arid stone and sporadic tundra. Then, breath by breath, she took note of several large structures in the distance—jutting up like granite columns from the otherwise level horizon.

Rainbow panted and panted, climbing up until she stood evenly on the outer lip of the cave's mouth. The sun felt brighter than normal overhead. Then again, that could very well have been the result of having spent the last several hours deep in the belly of an abandoned mountain plateau.

She flapped her wings, levitating upwards with Lancie perched on her backside. Staring up and looking behind her, Rainbow discovered that the western face of the barricade was sloped at a gentle thirty-degrees. It rose skyward, where it jutted sharply towards the upper troposphere—ending in a series of thick clouds brimming with lightning.

"Ah, I see," Lancie said, smirking. "The point of no return." He looked west. "Well, at least it's sunshine and rainbows from here on out. No pun intended."

"Right," Rainbow muttered, wings flapping. She pulled her feathers into a swift glide, cruising west through chilly jets of air. "Tell me. Are you still sensing the shards off in the distance?"

"Good thing you're a pegasus," Lancie mused. "Maybe with a bit of muscle, you could carve up a cloud canoe and boogey-board your way back into the griffon side of things—"

"Do you sense the shards or don't you?!" Rainbow snarled.

Lancie rattled. "Yes! Yes! Fine... yeesh!" He pointed slightly southwest with a stone talon. "Out about thattaways."

"How far?"

"What am I, a Global Positioning Statue?" He shrugged. "Just keep flying and I'll let you know if my horns itch!"

Rainbow sighed, sailing straight ahead in the gusty air. "What I wouldn't give for a spyglass right about now—"

THUDDD! A gigantic scaled foot slammed into the ground ahead of her, followed by a hulking mass of muscle.

"Gaaaaah!" Rainbow jerked aside, pulling her airborne body into a sharp swerve. "What the fuzz—?!"

A ginormous array of razor-teethed reptillian heads swung through the air, biting and gnashing. Rainbow found herself dodging and weaving through a veritable forest of hydra necks. She emerged on the other side with barely inches to spare.

"Whoah-ho-hoooo!" Lancie laughed, clinging to Rainbow's tail. He looked back with bright stone eyes. "Somepony get the license plate off that monster?"

"Lancie, now's not the time for—" WHAM! She flew straight into a mountain of fur. "Guh! What—?" She looked up, eyes widening.

A giant beast loomed in front of her. It resembeled a gorilla, only with a single cycloptic eye and enormous ram-horns extending from either side of its skull. The beast reared its head, shrieked, and beat its chest multiple times with gnarled fists.

"Okay..." Rainbow Dash raised her hooves, gnashing her teeth. "Get ready to poke it in the weak spot—"

"Simmer down, soldier!" Lancie barked.

"Huh?!"

"I don't think it's trying to charge you!"

Indeed, Rainbow watched as the beast tore past the two of them, scooped up a chunk of earth, and flung the boulder at the hydra's torso. The resulting thunder ripped clumps of grass out of the ground by their roots. Once the shockwave subsided, the hydra struggled to stand upright, only for the one-eyed beast to leap on its backside and begin ripping and tearing at its necks. Several reptillian heads jerked back, biting and nipping at the creature's horns.

Rainbow and Lancie flew over towards a chunk of rock sticking out of the ground. They hid in the shadow, catching their breaths, peering out as the two collosal beasts fought neck and neck and neck and—

"I don't see why they had to erect a barricade eons ago!" Lancie turned towards Rainbow with a smile. "Who wouldn't pay to have this happen in their backyard?"

Rainbow merely frowned.

"Is he always this sassy?"

Rainbow looked over her shoulder.

Applejack reclined beside her, chewing on a haystalk and smiling. "He's made out of stone. What would it hurt to snap his neck off with a crowbar?"

"... ... ..." Rainbow spread her wings. "Let's move on out before they notice us."

"Eh, good point." Lancie yawned. "This is a lousy seat for the fight anyways."

"C'mon, sugarcube!" Applejack chuckled, galloping to catch up with the mare. "Not like he could feel it?"

"Shut up," Rainbow grumbled.

"Huh?" Lancie did a double-take. "But I didn't say anything."

Fwooosh! Rainbow soared skyward, a little more quickly than usual, which nearly threw Lancie off balance.

Down below, Applejack stood up tall, cupping two hooves over her muzzle: "You could put his head away when yer not needin' it, is all!"

Rainbow clenched her eyes shut, shuddered, then threw herself blindly into the western desolation.

Comments

[MidnightReflection]

Yeah, the hallucinations are still continuing. Great. Applejack will be messing with Rainbow for the entire arc.

[Lightning Bearer]

Rainbow sure is good at making invisible friends.

[Sharp Quill]

"Maybe with a bit of muscle, you could carve up a cloud canoe and boogey-board your way back into the griffon side of things—"

Austraeoh reference: how Dash got out of the Durandana crater.

[Appledash_Gurl]

STAHP PLS STAHP, but also dont stop but let me catch up, but dont let ur current readers down but fir the love of Appledash, slow down, but keep a good pace for those who are up to date.
Oh god, once school starts I'll never catch up. My eyes hurt.
But please, Do go on.

[Sam the Anti-Ninja]

6319803 ready for a mindblower? In a semi recent blargh, the author may have stated that he's roughly a third of the way done. Anybody up for a thousand more?
Goddesses, I hope he was trolling...

[viofriedsevey]

6318192 Ahh, I dont remember this.

[viofriedsevey]

Heh, got a good laugh out of the chapter title. Seriously quite clever.

[YoshiFawful64]

6320011
You realize he's not gonna slow down, right? The daily updates are a part of the story's charm.

[Fishberry]

Neat! A hydra, and whatever Arimaspi was.

derpicdn.net/img/2015/7/14/937056/medium.png

[JodiePonyPuddinAndPie]

6320011 heheh! conflicted much?

[zaponator]

Eviljack just doesn't let up with the negativity, does she? She's like the antithesis of what's going on in another Sparky-related story right now.

[Sarda]

Oh man, this is like Rhys getting Jack's hologram except AppleGhost isn't even being the least bit helpful.

[Chewierulz]

6323067
The final leadup to AJ and RD getting together will be as long as the entirety of story.

[Codaulux]

Welcome to Harryhausenistan. Mind the impromptu monster fights... and ignore the hallucinogenic Apple Horse's impoliteness.

[Boop-Happy Lass]

Ah, dear. This is quite the problem...

[arancaytar]

as the two collosal beasts fought neck and neck and neck and—

Heh

[arancaytar]

6319845

Durandana is the colloquial name; the proper term is Pegasus Sex Crater.