Appledashery

by Just Essay

Get On the Potion Parade

“Why, yes, as a matter of fact, the latest shipment of Star Spider Silk came in just two days ago!” Golden Glaze said with a proud smile.

“G-good!” Cl-Clinkk! A bag of bits landed on the wooden market stand. “Hoof ‘em over!”

Golden raised his goggles, blinking. “My oh my… Is that really one hundred bits?!”

“You’re the salespony, bud.” Rainbow Dash looked and looked over her shoulders, trembling. “Better count ‘em!”

“Well, naturally. I just… d-didn’t expect either you or Zecora to acquire the funds so… so soon…”

“The sooner the betterrrrrrrr,” Rainbow Dash sing-songed, trying to hide her shivers and failing. She felt something jostling in her saddlebag, and she clenched her teeth tight.

“Well, let’s see here…” Golden Glaze poured the tiny bit bag open and counted the bits with extraordinary slowness. “One… two… three… four…”

Rainbow Dash felt the jostling again. She sucked her breath inwardly. The satchel was starting to rattle at this point, producing a sound that very nightmarishly resembled a starved owl bouncing off the bars of a rusted cage.

“...five… six… seven… eight…”

Rainbow saw shadows in the distance. She sensed the eyes of worried Ponyvilleans staring at her from across the market. The satchel jolted again, and she nearly fell off her weak hooves. Clenching her eyes shut, she grumbled to herself. ”It’sallinyourhead. It’sallinyourhead. It’sallinyourhead.”

“...nine… ten… twelve--Oops. Eheh. Made a mistake. I swear, the modern mint distracts me. Ahem. Let me start over--”

“Oh for Pete’s sake!” Rainbow Dash brushed his hooves aside, poured the bit bag’s contents across the market table, and flurried her hooves over the coinage. “Watch closely, k’?” She slid several bits from one side of the table to the next in a swift pattern. “Ten… Twenty… Thirty… Forty…”

“Oh. Uhm. Oh dear. If you could--”

“... fifty… sixty… seventy… eighty… ninety… a hundred reasons for you to give me the Star Spider Silk!”

“Oh. Yes. Well, I guess you’re obviously the better counter here--”

“And you’re the better salespony!” Rainbow Dash threw two hooves flatly in front of him. “Silk it silk it silk it!”

“Erm… yes…” Golden Glaze fumbled a bit, reached under the his table, and pulled out a tray with glass jars of blue fibrous bundles. “I do believe this should do it…”

“It does!” Rainbow grabbed the jars, unzipped her satchel, and kept the saddlebag open just long enough to toss the rattling containers in. “It do! It did!” Biting into her bit bag, she practically vomited a tip of ten coins onto the table. “To grow on! Skedaddlerooni!” Fwoooosh! She rocketed towards the far edge of town.

“Heh…” Golden Glaze scratched his head, shrugged, and slid his goggles back down. “Somepony really needs her arachnid extract.” He turned one bit over, and cooed with bright eyes. “Ooooh! Ohioats! I don’t have this one yet…”

---

“You must get Zecora to tell somepony how she’s found a way to manipulate the transformational properties of poison joke!” Amethyst Star stated through a smile as she levitated ingredients on and off a shelf in the corner of her potion shop. “I hear that she’s somehow managed to eliminate the random reaction that the pollen has to a pony’s essence. Theoretically, this means she can use it to to brew a potion that can have ponies morph into conceivably anything!”

“Yeah, uh, that’s great…” Rainbow Dash gasped, for her satchel jolted so sharply that she nearly fell through a stack of fragile containers at her side. She wrapped her hooves around the edge of a desk and gritted her teeth while the saddlebag shifted and jumped on her backside.

“Just imagine…” Amethyst Star paused to stare into a bubbling cauldron, her eyes sparkling. “Voice changes! Natural mane color alterations! Body weight redistribution! Mares becoming stallions and vice versa--”

“Jee, sounds so wonderful,” Rainbow Dash said, then stifled a gasp as the weight of her saddlebag flung itself forward, colliding with the back of her skull. She had to flap her wings to keep from falling through a stack of crates. “Nnnnngh… it’snotrealit’snotrealit’snotreal.”

“Hmmmm?” Amethyst Star turned around, blinking. “Is something the matter?”

“You got the alicornia dust or haven’t you?!”

“Uhm… y-yes! Most certainly!” Amethyst Star smiled awkwardly, then finally extracted a jar of the stuff from her cabinet. “I would very much like to know what good Zecora has made out of these ingredients--”

“So would I, lady.” Rainbow grunted, tossed a bit bag down, and snatched the jar up. “Zebra Shaman Shakedown 101. Sounds like a grand ol’ galloping time!”

“If you ask me, I think it’s wonderful that she has a friend such as you. Poor mare lives out in the forest all alone…” Amethyst sighed, but soon smiled. “It’s so comforting to know that she’s finally got a close companion.”

“Oh, we’re practically--” Rainbow gasped as her saddlebag flung her backwards. Thud! She collided with a wooden beam, shaking the cobwebs. “Holy sh--” She shook her muzzle, flung the jar into her satchel, and beat her wings. “Ahem. Sisters” Fwooosh! She was gone.

Amethyst Star winced. “That… uh… that’s the broom closet!”

“Gaaaah!” Rainbow immediately darted out of the door and soared towards the frame on the opposite end of the building. “Darn it darn it darn it darn it!”

Once the pegasus was gone, Amethyst fanned herself with a nervous hoof. “Maybe I’m worrying over the wrong pony…”

---

Th-Thap! The containers of spider silk and alicornia dust landed on the edge of Zecora’s table of potions.

The zebra looked up, her aquamarine eyes brewing. “You’ve come back to me for more potion, I see.”

“Brew it brew it brew it brew it brew it!” Rainbow Dash stammered, sweating heavily. A few seconds limped by, and she bit the edge of her lip. “...please?”

Zecora squinted. She looked at Rainbow’s sweaty body as it clung to the front doorframe to her hut as if gravity was working against her. “You look quite the disheveled sight. Are you certain everything is all right?”

“Great! Fantastic!” Rainbow’s voice cracked through a nervous grin. “Couldn’t be better!”

Zecora stared, stared, then nodded. “That is good to know, friend, even if on the potion you still depend.” She dropped what she was doing and scooped up the ingredients. “For a new brew, I’ll do my best. Might I suggest you have some rest?”

“Yeah. Okay.” Thud! Rainbow Dash collapsed on the floor, hugging her saddlebag to her tummy like it was a pillowcase full of kittens. “Hoooooooooo Zecora… your name sounds like a scrumptious vegetable. You don’t even know, girl.”

The zebra giggled lightly. “Rainbow, you never fail to amuse. You could have the bed if you so choose.”

“No thanks… I’d rather sweat on your wood so as not to ruin the mood.” Rainbow’s eyes bulged. “Crud, now you’ve got me doing it.”

“Heheheh…”

Rainbow Dash tried chuckling too, but got whacked in the chin by the satchel jumping in her grasp. She winced, turning over so Zecora couldn’t see what only she was seeing, and it right around that moment that her eyes crossed. “Bequickwiththatbrewfortheloveofluna’scrotchboobs.”

“What was that…?”

“Uhm… t-tell me the story of h-how you first journeyed to Ponyville!”

“Oh, a fine and delicious tale! But much time that would entail!”

“Something I-I’ve got plenty of right n-now…” Rainbow Dash wheezed through a smile, clutching desperately to the saddlebag as she lay on the floor.

Comments

[Aatxe360]

Theoretically, this means she can use it to to brew a potion that can have ponies morph into conceivably anything!”

“Just imagine…” Amethyst Star paused to stare into a bubbling cauldron, her eyes sparkling. “Voice changes! Natural mane color alterations! Body weight redistribution! Mares becoming stallions and vice versa--”

The possibilities for misapplication!

It's a good thing Zecora has her eye on the cauldron during the process.

[Tchernobog]

"Theoretically, this means she can use it to to brew a potion that can have ponies morph into conceivably anything!”

[Lightning Bearer]

I just had the thought that maybe Zecora's potion is a placebo, but I guess that would be too much like "Leap of Faith". That, and it would be sorta dishonest of Zecora (unless it was like what she did to Spike in "Just for Sidekicks"). I dunno. The potion's probably legit. Don't mind me.

[FloydienSlip]

He turned one bit over, and cooed with bright eyes. “Ooooh! Ohioats! I don’t have this one yet…”
“Ooooh! Ohioats! I don’t have this one yet…”
Ohioats!

There's a special place in hell for people like you.

[Sheendough]

"Scotch boobs"?

[Bulbajer]

@Sheendough: "Luna's Crotch Boobs".

[Jay_Baker]

Great chapter can't wait for next update keep up the good work

[RainbowJack2000]

Well. Someone seems to be in a hurry.

[DerRotSpassvogel]

4203215 indeed, it is a few miles north of my place. Nothing but corn fields and silos for miles in each direction. And no RECEPTION!!!

[zaponator]

What does one do if apparently suffering from hallucinations? Take another dose of a hallucinogenic potion, of course!

[Fishberry]

Hmm. I see the usual peanut gallery has found their way to the comments section.

Now I'm joining you. Better late than never, I suppose.

[Misspegasister_]

"Bequickwiththatbrewfortheloveofluna’scrotchboobs"

I'm starting to feel bad for Luna. First, Luna's nipple, and now that.

ROFL

[Picture_Perfectxx]

"Bequickwiththatbrewfortheloveofluna’scrotchboobs!"

I have officially diagnosed Rainbow with a mild case of odd Luna Addiction, or OLA for short.

[Dash32]

Crotch boobs? Really rainbow?

[Metal Aura]

Mares becoming stallions and vice versa

Given RD's drinking buddies I think this is already possible.
Maybe this will become relevant later on in the story. I could totally see RD becoming a male because she believes she needs to be to have a relationship with AJ.

[Snowdrifter]

4203020

So ti's morphing time?

[arancaytar]

“No thanks… I’d rather sweat on your wood so as not to ruin the mood.” Rainbow’s eyes bulged. “Crud, now you’ve got me doing it.”

Did she pronounce wood like mood or vice versa?

“Bequickwiththatbrewfortheloveofluna’scrotchboobs.”

Luna wishes that Dashie still invoked her excrement or nipples.

[arancaytar]

7024591

They talked about "operation"; if this is a permanent magical transformation it might be incomparably better.