After being attacked by a Nightmare creature Naruto awakens to find himself in the magical nation of Equestria. Making the best of his situation he befriends its citizens and make a new life there unaware of the role he will play in its future.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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5210663
Definitely one my favorite parts of the revision.
I love this chapter.
5210887
I know, I went ham this chapter. Definitely the best one I written thus far.
Rarity's definitely going to be his 1st mare
Ummm, no offense, but you have a lot of typos and missing commas here. Do you have an editor?
Yup, Rarity should definitivaly be the pairing, or ir this fic is a harem one, then the first Mare to confess to him
I like the idea of raity but I would prefer if it was Luna not sending any hate to the ones who want naruto o and raity to hook up that's just me
5211453 he first one was a lot worse the was one guy paragraphs of stuff he seen in there
Okay, just going to say this...this chapter is probably in my top three favorite chapters for this story (as of right now) I'm the kind of guy that loves that whole hero rescuing the damsel in distress scenario, even if it is one of the oldest scenarios out there (call me old school). But this one has got to be one of my favorites I've seen in a while. While I do think it's a little dark at some parts, I do have to remind myself that this is another world with different ways of life and that everything won't always been sunshine and rainbows. Maybe it's also the fact that we knew Naruto and Rarity had a deep realtionship before this chapter, but to see how that relationship started in the begining, opens ours eyes to know how deep it actually goes that makes me like it.
I'd sure love to read a nice scene where Naruto eats a bowl of Ramen with his female friends. A vegetarian one of course.
so basically naruto meet all of the mane 6 after getting the living shit beat outta him right? except twilight but don't worry nightmare moon will more than likely rectify that.
So, I realize this was written a long time ago and you're much farther along in the story, but a major flaw I see in this is you're not really adding anything new to the story. Yes, you're giving a backstory to how he met each of the characters, but other than that and some extra dialogue nothing has changed from the source material. In fact, you quote entire scenes. The point of fanfiction is to show how things would diverge from the original material if something happened differently or to show the original material from a different perspective. It's a little hard to get into the material when nothing changes except an additional character being present. I'm fascinated by the concept of the story though and since it's so long, I'll keep reading for sure, but I'm really hoping that this pattern changes soon or I'm really afraid I'll lose too much interest to keep going.
Just from how she's being describe, its easy to tell Rarity's a beautiful mare. Its always hard to get her attention when she's in her zone. Rarity has a amazing eye for detail which help in her job and hobby. Well its look like Rarity and Pinkie are the only ones that Naruto didn't meet half dead. Nice first meeting between them, just as you would expect. They look cute in the picture and Rarity and her sister bonding with Naruto is sweet and heartwarming. Interesting, these Satyrs sound like they wouldn't be a problem one on one but they would be in a group, unfortunately for Naruto and Rarity since he's still trying to recover his strength and Rarity couldn't defend herself much but he still gave the good fight. Their two ways to express anger: unstoppable rage and tranquil fury, Naruto seem like he combines both very effectively. One of the thing that will never change about Naruto: he'll do every thing in his power to protect his friends. The first defining moment in the relationship.
While rereading this chapter I can't remember... what is up with the dark chakra here? I don't remember it being mentioned anywhere else.
me gusta como entra en detalle sin ser tedioso, y todavía es la introducción
Ahhhh CY@@@@@ son dang epic dude
I have only read through a little bit of the story so far and while I do like it a lot, its providing more questions at a faster rate than it answers those questions. Plus, I wish there was a little more focus and detail as far as how he came to Equestria, who were the first ponies he met, how he lost his strength, when were these moments it keeps referencing about Naruto being too slow to sense Pinkie's presence or keep up with Rainbow Dash. Or heck, how did he come to meet Princess Celestia, let alone gain her trust enough to be her personal liason. What I like about good crossovers is they take time to establish how a character ends up in Equestria or how a pony ends up in their world, and it creates believable situations and shows us what kind of relationship the two parties have with each other in just enough detail. This chapter shows the upsides to this idea when it actually takes the time to establish the pressing factors of the story. How he meets AJ and Rainbow seems pretty glossed over. I would have liked it if this was more chronological instead of being just as flashback happy as Man of Steel was, but I'll reserve my judgment and see how this turns out. Cause like I said, I could totally see Naruto here getting along well with Rarity after events like this, but the other three need a bit more detail for me