After being attacked by a Nightmare creature Naruto awakens to find himself in the magical nation of Equestria. Making the best of his situation he befriends its citizens and make a new life there unaware of the role he will play in its future.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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6837714 sweet! Bookmarked for sure
I still find Dash's attempts of acting normal to be hilarious while maintaining the Faire. Outside of AJ, Dash is probably the worst liar of the group mainly due to her lack of subtly and overacting. Of course the idea of keeping the crystal ponies blind to the going's on of Sombra's return was a battle that would easily be lost given the disadvantages that the herd faced in even attempting so.
The section featuring Spike and Twilight's search for the crystal heart was so much more exciting reading it then actually watching it happen in the episode. The extra touches that you placed in Twilight's trial here were a great addition to a somewhat bland challenge from the canon episode. It was a great way to showcase both her ability and her confidence in tackling such a difficult search by herself with only Spike as backup.
Would have liked to have seen a bit more Sombra around the end here but from his brief spat with Naruto I have a feeling this fight is going to be good until the Crystal Heart is returned to its full strength. Overall good chapter.
Ch.212 The Empire: Finding the Crystal Heart! - Corrections/Add-Ons/Ins are Underlined and in Bold.