The Sun and the Stars: A Twilestia Prompt Collab

by Fuzzyfurvert

340. Pity by Knight of Cerebus

by Knight of Cerebus

***

"DO NOT OPEN--PRIVATE", the box said. Celestia scrutinized the contents, flicking her horn over it idly. The box had been hiding behind Twilight's vanity until a rogue spell had dislodged it, a fact that Celestia had noticed but Twilight herself had not. Now that it was levitating in her magic, Celestia had to consider what she wished to do with it. She could take it through the portal with her back to Canterlot and investigate its contents--a valuable chance to see into the mind of her marefriend she would not often get--but the thought of Twilight discovering her betrayal and feeling hurt was a strong deterrent for her. She could quickly peek inside and try to get an idea for what skeletons Twilight had in her closet from her thoughts on the subject, but the idea of being consumed with distrust and suspicion over a simple thing like this was something that did not sit well with her. So, rather than violate Twilight's trust on the matter she did what she saw as the most courteous thing to do. She trotted back to the vanity where she had found it, lowering the box toward her best approximation of its hiding place with a delica--

"Oh, so that's where it went." Twilight said from behind her, her ears folding back and her eyes dropping to the floor. Celestia froze, her wings spreading wide and a blush forming despite herself. She forced both down, replacing them with an even, diplomatic smile and preparing to explain herself. "I guess you know, now, huh?"

Celestia shook her head, her smile becoming genuine. "I am happy to report I do not. I considered looking through the box in order to get a better understanding of your more private concerns and problems, but I decided that rather than go behind your back in discovering them I would earn the privilege of knowing them from you." Celestia moved the box to Twilight, allowing the younger mare to take the golden case back in her magic.

"So...you want to know more about me, but you'd like to learn it from me?" Twilight tilted her head, her ears swivelling to face her mentor and her eyes never leaving the other mare's face.

"And only when you are comfortable sharing." Celestia gave a smile.

Twilight smiled back. "Do you want to look at it now?"

Celestia's smile froze, tension shooting across her body for a moment, but she relaxed once she remembered who she was speaking with. "If you wish to share it." Twilight settled on the floor, levitating the box down to sit between her and a plush cushion she was in the process of lowering to rest beside her. Celestia took the seat, spreading out her hooves and looking down at the innocuous item. The box opened with a quick flick of Twilight's magic. Sitting inside was a folio--bordering on scrapbook, it was so thick--with a photo of Twilight and her friends taped across it. Titled was "Friendship Problems". Beside it was Smarty Pants, the raggedy doll a much younger Twilight had been so careful to guard once upon a time.

Twilight gave a bittersweet, fragile smile, then opened the book. It was, to Celestia's surprise, a set of schematics revolving around Twilight's friends. One showed Rarity and her parents circled in red, with a cringe writ large across Rarity's face. The next moved on to show Rarity shying away from her father, who was brandishing a fishing pole and dressed in a hat stuck with fish hooks. The one after that showed her wearing that absurdly stereotypical mockery of countryfolk she had called a costume that she had donned in order to impress Trenderhoof. There were frantic scrawlings all across the page, and at the top was a checkbox and a label. "Help Rarity accept her family's roots." Twilight turned to another one. "Build self esteem for Pinkie Pie/Fluttershy/Me". There were little check marks beside certain photos, but the box itself was not checked. "Tell Celestia how I feel", however, proudly bore a green mark showing that she had in fact achieved this particular goal. "Ask Applejack about her parents" was also blank, though "Find common ground with Rainbow Dash" was filled with images of Twilight and the mare in question running through the woods and cuddling up to read Daring Do together. Twilight hurriedly moved past one labelled "Lose Virginity", a blush forming across her face. At last, Twilight reached a page labelled "Stop Using Smarty Pants", which was completely blank, save for an image of her and Cadance doing breathing exercises and a few spots stained with droplet patterns. "Spilt some tea." Twilight said, neither of them believing the words even for a moment.

"Would you like to talk about this one?"

"Maybe later..." Twilight wilted. "I-it's something I've been fighting for a long time, and mostly alone, and I'm not sure I can--Not sure how much I want you to know about it." Twilight sighed, her ears flicking and her tail twitching. "I just--anyway. This book has all of those problems that my friends have that they hold like that one. Ones they don't want to share, and are afraid to get help with. I've got observations, I've made progress with some of them, but--I don't know. It's hard to open this book and know there's still so much sadness, so much hurt that everypony I know buries under the surface and is afraid to talk about."

"Am I in here, too?" Celestia asked gently.

Twilight nodded. "About your protectiveness with your family and how it hurts other ponies, about your trust problems and about your overworking yourself."

"And you didn't want to share them with me?"

"I didn't know if you'd be comfortable talking about your secrets or not, and...I never really found a good time to ask."

"I think telling your friends about this book might help them understand your concern. What you have done for me in getting me to open up to and trust Luna, for example, was only possible because you cared, and because you were willing to lend an open ear. I only hope some day I can do the same for you." Celestia lifted up Smarty Pants, looking at the doll that had caused so much trouble with a mixture of curiosity and pity. "I would love to know just why you hurt so much over this, and just what you mean by 'hurting my whole life'."

Twilight looked at the doll in question. "I guess I just need some time. I'm...scared. I'm scared of all the things you might think, because whenever I share this it's never pretty. I look like a freak, or a victim, or, I don't know, a weird thing, and it just pushes me away from the ponies I talk about it with."

"Did you share with Cadance?"

Twilight nodded.

"Then I think that's an uncharitable view, Twilight. She has never talked of you and the problems she has spoken of about you with anything but respect and sympathy. She wants to help. We want to help." Celestia levitated the book into Twilight's forehooves. "The same way you want to help your friends. Your darkest points don't exist in a vacuum any more than mine do." Celestia touched a hoof to the book. "But that said, I think this is a lovely idea, Twilight, and I want to contribute, too. I know some ponies who could use it."

"And will you share them with me when you're done?"

Celestia smiled at her. "I think I'll share them with whoever might be concerned."

The two of them stood, both sensing that their chat was over in unison, and together the two of them descended the stairs, discussing the logistics of helping their loved ones with their darker sides. The room was left to Smarty Pants, the doll lying inert and untouched upon the floor. The beady eyes stared lifelessly towards the ceiling, and whispers of Twilight from all stages of her life began to echo across the room.

"I'mnevergoodenough"/"Whydon'tIeverfitin"/"I'msorryforeverything"/"Ihavetodobetter"/"WhyamIsouseless"/"Pleasedon'thateme"

A thousand and one breakdowns, fears, depressed ramblings and old shames reverberated across the room, but Smarty Pants simply kept its empty gaze, the secrets held within it still having yet to reach another pony's ears.

Comments

[Oddboy]

Feels. Everywhere.

[Draven Eclipse]

Et tu Feelus?

[BarrenBaron]

I really expected something different with a name like pity.

[Dark Shade 75]

I bet you there's something inside the doll. Not supernatural, of course, I mean an actual object or objects of some sort. That's just how I read the description. "The secrets held within it" could simply be a metaphor, but too often have I seen an author reveal just how literal it was all along for me not to be suspicious.

[Knight of Cerebus]

5366992 5367777 I lolled. That said, Lycaeus, this was a really cool idea when you first released it and is still a really cool idea now.

5367414 I'm far too pretentious for that!

5367167 What kind of "something"?

[jcdew]

Good thing Celestia didn't pull the secret string in the box... or else she would have seen this embarrasing photo of spongebob from the Christmas party!

[Kittamaru]

That last bit... that hit hard. I'm lucky... my wife is able and willing to simply be with me at my worst when nothing can help... to hold me until it passes and comfort me when she can. Many... many do not have that kind of love