Gore)2,438 words
485. Wonna by Foals Errand564 words

330. Cartography by Donraj

***

Princess Celestia chuckled. "No Twilight, I'm quite certain this is the right way."

Twilight's ears flattened back against her head for a moment. She forced herself to buck up and try again.

"But the map says—"

"Pish tosh!" Princess Celestia said, rolling her eyes as she cut Twilight off. "You can't trust maps Twilight. They're never accurate. I remember one time when a small army of minotaurs marched into straight into the Everfree Forest never to be seen again because their commander's map insisted it was the Whitetail Woods and the fastest route to Canterlot."

Celestia made a sound that might have been a giggle. Twilight was too busy clinging to the sky chariot for dear life to be sure.

"Easiest war ever," Princess Celestia concluded smugly. She flicked her mane as she did. The movement made the chariot behind her sway even more. Twilight made a sound that was definitely not laughter nor any form of amusement. Princess Celestia did not deign to notice. A bit of turbulence was good for unicorns. It built character. Besides, she hadn't pulled one of these things in ages and she was enjoying the novelty.

More objections came from her most faithful student, this time much more loudly. Princess Celestia smiled fondly as she did a perfect loop-de-loop just because she could. Twilight was always worrying about silly things like checklists and shapeshifters and gravity. It was so endearing.

"What was that, Twilight?" she called back teasingly once the screaming stopped. She snuck a peek to see Twilight gasping for breath. Her mane was hopelessly windblown and random patches of her coat were sticking out in every direction.

"I said," Twilight shouted once the black spots went away, "That there have been great advances in the field of cartography over the past few centuries and that modern maps are much more reliable then the ones made by previous generations! Especially ones made by surveyors from the Equestrian Geological Bureau like this one!"

Princess Celestia laughed again at that.

"Twilight, I've been to the mountain where the Crystal Heart was discovered before. I paid careful attention to wear those dragon's cave was. I know exactly where I'm going."

"That was over a thousand years ago!" Twilight wailed in protest. Celestia rolled her eyes again and decided to focus on flying.

"Hold on tight, Twilight!"

†

The chariot was still about three feet from the stony plateau when Twilight leapt off of it. She immediately fell to her belly and began kissing the ground gratefully as Celestia landed and removed her harness. She only stopped and looked up when she felt a hoof on her shoulder.

Princess Celestia smiled down at her with a smug look so subtle nopony would ever have dared to call her on it. "You see Twilight?" she said, gesturing across the mostly flat ledge hewn into the side of the mountain. "Exactly where I said it would be."

Twilight stared at her flatly. Without saying a word she levitated a rock off the ground and hurled it into the mouth of the cave. Ghastly moans began to issue forth from the cave a moment later. Sickly green fog billowed out and started to congeal into terrible shapes.

"Liiiiiiiivvvvingggggg thinnnnnnnnnggggggggs!!!" croaked a sepulchral voice that seemed to emanate from the very bones of the mountain.

Twilight's gaze never wavered. Princess Celestia sighed.

"Very well Twilight. I will update the maps of the Crystal Empire in my study."

Twilight didn't react at all. Princess Celestia tried another tack.

"Would you like to go out for hay fries when we get back to Canterlot?"

That did the trick. Twilight's face brightened.

"Would I?!"

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