The Sun and the Stars: A Twilestia Prompt Collab

by Fuzzyfurvert

430. Octopus by Cytotoxin

by Cytotoxin

***

"...ilight Spar..."

Something roused her from sleep. Which was an achievement in itself - she was decisively displeased to leave such vividly vibrant dreams behind. Yet... Reality calls. Still groggy, she blindly pawed around until she found the nearest wall. Wait, wall? Glassen wall, even?

Suddenly, she was wide awake and alert, trying her best to determine what exactly was going on. And why exactly was she sleeping in the aquarium. Wait. What. Twilight pulled herself together, tentacles pressing against the wall to create suction that`d allow her to climb out of water. She peeked out of the aquarium, befuddled and curious, and almost bumped noses with princess Celestia.

"...Ah. Twilight. Finally awake, I see?" - proffered Celestia wryly - "And coherent, I hope?" Twilight`s nose wobbled as she did her best to stare at Celestia. It was hard to do so with both eyes at once.

"Why am I an octopus?" - she finally managed, silently happy that whoever cast the transformation spell didn`t skimp on including the translation dweomer. Celestia merely chuckled. "That`s what I`d like to know as well." - she returned, making herself comfortable on the sitting pillow - "Let`s make a deal, dear? I`ll explain you how, and you`ll tell me why. Because this form? Entirely your doing."

Twilight snorted. Or, at least, made an attempt to. The resulting sound was something more befitting a sink then a pony. "Your guess is as good as mine." - she proffered - "Last thing I remember, I was working cough medicines and then... this." Celestia`s grin widened.

"Let me clarify, dear. What I really want to know is why octopus, and not some other thing. As to why did you do this? That much I already know." - she proffered jovially, pulling over a cup of tea with her magic and taking a sip from it. Twilight`s eye twitched.

"Why not octopus? I suspect I didn`t think straight when I did this. Maybe I was simply frustrated with the clumsiness of my hooves and wanted something more flexible." - she proffered in return - 'The question remains... What happened?"

Celestia quirked her brow. "To answer this, I`d need a few answers from yourself. To begin with... what exactly kind of cough medicine were you making?" - she inquired patiently.

Twilight rubbed her head in thought. "...As you probably know, most modern cough medicines rely on dextromethorphan." - she proffered, slipping into a lecture easily - "While it`s generally pretty good at getting the job done, I noticed that it could be more efficient if the aromatic rings could be connected with an extra oxidizer. Unfortunately, on it`s own it tends to overshoot the desired effect and cause spasms, but I managed to stabilize it by adding two acetil groups. That should give us something I preliminarily called diacetyloxymorphinan... And that`s as far as I remember."

Celestia nodded thoughtfully. "No wonder. I must disappoint you, however. The substance you created is already known and called a little bit differently. It`s diacetylmorphine." - she explained - "It is indeed efficient medicine against the cough, but I`m afraid we simply can not put it into use as such."

Twilight`s tentacles writhed as she wracked her memory trying to recall the name Celestia just mentioned. "I can`t recall what it is." - she grumbled - "I have a hunch it`s important and it keeps just... out of my attention scope. Help me out here, please?"

White alicorn snickered. "You might know it better as heroin." - she proffered - "I think you`ll agree with me - we simply can`t put something like this into public drugstores. As to what happened to you? You dropped the beaker, cut your fetlock on it, and... the rest is history."

SPLUSH! Twilight`s involuntary reaction was to wrap all her eight tentacles around herself, falling back into aquarium. There was a lot of things she wanted to say, but first and foremost on her mind was resounding "D`OH!" She dimly felt Celestia`s magic pulling her out of the water, then a familiar feeling of fluidity as Celestia restored her to her normal form.

"I`m such a dunce." - she muttered bitterly - "Of course the better it acts, the easier it hits the brain... OF COURSE." She grumbled and stood up, silently grateful for Celestia`s wing pulling her into a gentle hug.

"At least, now I have an excuse to be doting on you, dear." - teased bigger alicorn as she leaned in to kiss Twilight`s nose - "Sincerely speaking, I doubt a one-time exposure will cause anything particularly untowards, but better be safe then sorry, no?"

Twilight muttered - "....I`m hungry. And horny. And tired. And feeling stupid." Celestia chuckled - "Well, the last problem you`ll have to get over on your own, and the third is easily handled by some sleep. But first, let me help you a bit with first two."

Comments

[Oddboy]

...Heroin? So she basically got herself high as a kite by accident?

...

I think everyone should consider themselves lucky the surrounding five miles isn't a logic-exclusion zone. Or that Discord didn't find her in her jacked-up state and decided to teach her how to troll the planet.

[PrussiAntique]

This strangely enough reminds me of a parody of Swinburne's "Dolores", also titled "Octopus". I can just imagine Celestia serenading a rather unamused Twilight:

'Strange beauty, eight-limbed and eight-handed,
Whence camest to dazzle our eyes?
With thy bosom bespangled and banded
With the hues of the seas and the skies...
...In thy eight-fold embraces enfolden,
Let our empty existence escape,
Give us death that is glorious and golden,
Crushed all out of shape!'

[Kage no Brony]

Prompt title: Octopus

Twilight Sparkle on mind-altering drugs

Laughing Octopus confirmed.