The Sun and the Stars: A Twilestia Prompt Collab

by Fuzzyfurvert

422. Xanthippe by Jonesly

by Jonesly

***

The throne room of Canterlot castle was shrouded in shadow. Windows that normally allowed light to stream in were darkened by the mood of the mare sitting on the throne at the head of the room. The guards had fled early on, roughly ten minutes after the order to clear the room had been given. A scorch mark ran along one wall. Next to the door was a smashed pile of… something that looked expensive.

A servant was peeking in the door at the far end. “Your Highness, you see what I mean?”

Twilight Sparkle peeked in with her. “Yes, yes, I believe I do. That is definitely a cranky Celestia. Thank you for getting me, I’ll take care of this.”

Twilight pushed the door open and walked towards her wife. As she approached she called out, “Celestia, was that a vase next to the door?”

Celestia straightened up from her slouch. “No, it was a suit of armor.”

“Ooof, I didn’t know you could shatter steel like that.” Twilight winced.

Celestia’s voice was harder than the steel remnants. “I can if I have the right incentive.”

“Blueblood?”

Celestia grimaced. “Blueblood. I swear, I have no temper for that… sanctimonious sack of mule droppings, coming in here, whining about my precious people. If I see him again, I think I’ll give him a time out.”

Twilight gasped. “Celestia! You weren’t really thinking of having Blueblood banished to the moon just because he said something arrogant about my bloodlines, were you? He’s an ass and it doesn’t matter what he says.”

“Yeah well,” Celestia muttered. “I wasn’t not thinking about it. By Cadences Right Butt Cheek, if he moans one more time about how a commoner has less of a right to my time then he does. BAM. ZOOM. STRAIGHT TO THE MOON!”

Twilight smothered a giggle. “Ok, ok, but why are you so worked up? I’ve seen you handle a hundred things worse then your nephew without so much as a frown, but here I find you raring to commit nepoticide without a second thought.”

Celestia slumped down into a pathetic pile on her throne. “Well, with everything going on, it’s been hectic. I haven’t slept well in days, you’ve been off in Ponyville, the Griffons are acting up, the treasury wants a budget, you’ve been gone, someone’s been stealing the palace’s sugar supply, you weren’t here, Applejack wants my blessing to court Sunset, bright spot, but then Luna said she had to go chase the Dread Pirate… Spectrum… wait.” Celestia’s eyes widened. “TWILIGHT DAMMIT. She’s shirking her day in court to go off gallivanting with that prismatic lover of hers!” Celestia dropped her head into her hooves with a loud groan. “I’m just so… grumpy.”

Twilight shook her head and sat down next to Celestia, reaching a wing out and rubbing the larger mare on the back. “Go ahead, tell me about all the things that have gone poorly this last week.”

So she did. Celestia started on Monday and worked through a week that had had exactly one thing go right for her. The explanation dragged on and towards the end, Celestia started rambling.

“...And the cake thing! Why won’t the cake thing just die. Judge one baking contest in which the only entry is a ruddy cake and suddenly you’re ‘Cakelestia!’ Why, if I ate cake half as much as everyone seems to think I do, I’d be as far beyond zaftig as Discord is beyond sane. I’d much rather a nice pie or an apple fritter. Oooh, can we go out to Sweet Apple Acres for apple fritters? Maybe some apple cider…” Celestia trailed off at the look she was receiving.

Twilight was staring at her with a sympathetic, but amused expression. “Are you finished?”

“Well I am now. I know better then to keep on when you give me that look.” Celestia replied.

“Good. Here’s the plan. We’re going to Ponyville. We’re shirking your next four days of court. I checked, there’s nothing that can’t wait for Luna to get back. In Ponyville we are going to get some apple fritters, maybe some cider, and we’re going to relax in the spa wing of my palace. There we shall be pampered by Lotus and Aloe until this… this… Xanthippe is gone and my Tia is back. Is that understood?” Twilight stood up and extended her hoof to Celestia.

“Yes Dear.” Celestia bowed her head meekly, then took Twilight’s hoof and stood up as well.

“Good. I’ve not enjoyed my week away from you either, so this will be good for the both of us..” Twilight rolled her eyes and sighed. “It almost makes me think you were the pregnant one.”

Comments

[goaway]

Loved this.

Someone needs to write a spin-off involving Luna and Dashie plundering booty.

Then playing pirates with each other.

[Lunar Eclipsed]

it took me a total of 3 or 4 days to read this in its entirety but it was spread over a few months since there was a huge break in between the first 100 and the rest

time to read the next prompt collab in my list oh look its the Twidance collab

[Fuzzyfurvert]

6160219
I'll be there waiting on you. Or at least my writing will be. I take up like...14% of the thing.

[Fuzzyfurvert]

6160203
(hahahahaha) (Ship it!)
Ooh-ooh-ooh-oohooh ...

(Let's begin it)
(Prank 'n steal it!)
(Ship it!)

Oh-ee-yeah (LunaDash!)
Oh-ee-yoh (LunaDash!)
Plunder for booty, thick or slim
With another tail to pin!
Oh-ee-yeah (LunaDash!)
Oh-ee-yoh (LunaDash)
All the plot we get in
With another tail to pin!

(Ship it!)
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ...
(Ship it again!)
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ...

(hehe)
(haha)
Oh-ee-yeah
Oh-ee-yoh
Oh-ee-yeah
Oh-ee-yoh
Unf! Unf! Unf!
Ship it
Let's begin it
Prank 'n steal it
When you're in it
You can win it
In a minute
When you ship it, ship it, ship it!
(hahaha) So ship it!
LunaDash!

[goaway]

6160312

vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/mlpfanart/images/e/e7/Luna_clapping.gif/revision/latest?cb=20130102165457 pinkie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw5384-RainbowDashclap.gif

[BukkakeKing]

6160219 are you me?

[Lunar Eclipsed]

6160558 im pretty sure im NOT you and that i am myself i just love reading and i read really really fast

[Dark Shade 75]

One of these days, Alice... One of these days...

[jaroslav]

Cadance was a common pony, Twilight was a common pony and i bet Blueblood was common pony too. That's why he is Celestia's nephew. She adopted him like she adopted Cadance.