Twilight has given you a new book to read. Well, she didn't exactly give it to you, you actually just found it in the back of the library. Behind a shelf. On the ground. It looks very old, downright ancient, and it smells like moss and rot. The binding is a little cracked, and there's no title on it. You can't help but wonder what might be inside, and the only way to find out is to keep reading.

Just turn the page.

You can do that much, can't you?

Please?

WARNING: This story contains brief depictions of blood, mild violence, and death, and has ARG aspects to it. It plays with formatting, and includes images. Some "pages" are long, some are only a few words. It is written in first person, to you, the reader, and is a slow mellow horror. You've been warned.

This story relies on unusual formatting for some parts, and thus may not be as enjoyable on a tablet or phone, or if you have specialized custom Fimfic settings.

If you post spoilers, hints, or answers in the comments, please be sure to spoiler them out or warn others. You don't want to ruin the fun, right?

Audio reading: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=28TqbHFchLg

I'm Griffin, not much else to it. I've been bullied most of my life, which left me bitter and sarcastic. I'm a closet brony. What? You think I'm just gonna go out and tell a world that hates me that I watch a cartoon intended for little girls? I don't feel like giving the punks at school any more ammo. That's when cosmic powers decide I need to take a trip to my favorite fantasy land. But all is not sunshine and rainbows and it certainly won't be after I'm done with it. Equestria from the point of view of an extremely pissed off teenager, with a twist. Rust, the author of 'The Ballad of Echo the Diamond dog' is awesomesauce enough to have a cross over between our stories. Carnelian is a boss when it comes to art. Part of the 'Chess Game of the Gods'.

Violence, gratuitous swearing, and sexual themes. Reader discretion is advised.

TTS Reading of the entire fiction: Courtesy of the FanFiction Reader on Youtube.

Character List: Courtesy of TruthHut (A work in progress)

Handy is not a happy man at the best of times.

He was even less happy to find himself in an alien world that offended the very laws of physics and got injured for his own stubborn refusal to accept the obvious path fate had apparently laid out for him.

For his trouble he is now on a journey, with the long term goal of finding his way back home, only to find himself involved in plots and machinations so far above his head and cares that he quickly becomes a pawn in a game played by powers who care not for his well-being.

Quite like his life back on Earth if you think about it.

Needless to say, Handy does not care for any of it. He is much more preoccupied with the more immediate and pressing mundane concerns of day to day life a human needs to worry about while in Equestria.

Obtaining a new pair of shoes for example.

All this and one almighty hangover, what's the worst that could happen?

Rated teen for harsh language and minor violence

Proofread by JBL, Jude and Usurper

This story is a sequel to Discord Teaches Philosophy

Warning: The following is currently unedited and contains a significant amount of Philosophy.

After deciding on taking up the role of a Substitute and finding out that the main Philosophy teacher is boring his students, Discord decides to step in to take up the responsibility of teaching. And he will do it by teaching it in plain Equestrian, in a way that these young students would understand. As well as in his own unique way.

Lesson Plan (in no particular order):

Socrates: His Method and How We Ought to Live ✅

Plato: Allegory of the Cave ✅

Marcus Aurelius: How Stoicism Deals with Hardships ✅

Confucius: Who is Ruling Whom? ✅

Kintsugi: The Art of Imperfection ✅

Machiavelli: In Defense of the Prince ✅

Montaigne: Usefulness of Humility ✅

Rousseau: Of Savages and Civilization ✅

Kierkegaard: Subjectivity and Truth ✅

Nietzsche: Of Suffering and Happiness ✅

A former pink pony finds herself in a new, hostile world and a new friend who's perhaps even more hostile. A small, angry man finds himself with a new friend he didn't want. Can they make it through this new misadventure together, or is it the universe that needs to watch out for them?

Cover art used with permission from Technaro.