//------------------------------// // Pain (53) // Story: Griffin the Griffin // by BlackWing //------------------------------// Pain "Hey ladies... wanna dance?" I continued my groove as I slowly moved up to the middle of the room, then, as the gem ran out, the song stopped abruptly, as did I. I lifted my sunglasses to perch them on my forehead. "What? Who is... I don't even... huh?" A pink alicorn who looked beaten up asked. "Oh dear, I don't believe we've met. I'm Grif, the most dastardly scoundrel to sail the seas and sky, ultimate badass and smooth talker. Who are you pretty lady? And more importantly, voulez vous coucher avec moi, ce soir?" Swagswagswagswagswag. "I'm Princess Cadence, and I'm engaged." She returned, glaring at me, and pointing at Shining Armor. I poked him in the side of the head. He didn't move. "Weird, I met him like a month ago and he wasn't brain dead. What happened? Twilight get pissed after he told her about the wedding in a letter and hit him on the head too much?" "Griffin, hurry up and get me out of here!" Celestia called from her goo pod, clearly irritated. I just ignored her. "How did you get in? My reavers were guarding the door." Chrysalis asked. "Oh, them? Yeah, they're dead. I have to say, that one was a pain in the ass. He just wouldn't go down, no matter how much we bashed, sliced, burned and slashed him. We literally had to rip him to pieces to make him stay down." The changeling with her crooked black horn, holes in her legs, fangs, and regular eyes instead of compound, grit her teeth. "Why? what is your purpose here?" She growled and hissed. "Well, I knew about the wedding, so I decided to crash it. Play some bad music really loud, eat all the food, get plastered, maybe wreck the dining hall, and then bail before I was forced to clean it up. Then I find that you went and crashed the wedding before I could, I figured I may as well have some fun. Oh, Celly, by the way, your sister got the crap kicked out of her. She's fine though. Got her on my ship being looked after." "*Grrrr* HOW DARE YOU! This is my new kingdom, and I will not tolerate your presence any longer! The death of my mate and guards, and countless numbers of my children, leave at once!" The queen raged. "Fuck you, I do what I want....." Cue 60's Spider-man. I spotted the Possibility through the back window of the building, Tiras pointing the main gun at the queen, and I pointed at her. ".... and right now, IMMA FIRIN MAH LAZOR!" The beam came forward from the ship, the changeling queen turning around to see it smash through the window. She hastily put up a shield which blocked the beam from damaging her, but it threw her back, back towards me. I spun and smacked her into the wall with Hades, turned to face her, cracked my neck, and hefted my blade to point it at her, wearing the biggest grin ever. "How is this.... possible. With the love I've absorbed from Shining Armor, I am more powerful than Celestia!" She coughed up some green blood. "Dumbass, you were, but you lost it as soon as I walked in this room." "What?!?" She coughed some more as she struggled to stand. "What do changelings feed on? Positive emotion. Love, joy, bliss, satisfaction. Whatever else. You came to Equestria because it is full of overly happy, loving, trusting ponies, so you could feed on them. If feelgood juice is like food to you, then what do bad emotions do?" "They're poison....." Cadence suddenly said with realization. "That's right. Ponies have been living in peace for a very long time, and under the watchful eye of the princesses, Equestria has flourished into a utopia where everyone is happy. Well, almost everyone. The majority of ponies are actually incapable of hate. Because of that, you've been feeding on everyone you walk past. Shining Armor's love for Cadence, the worry everyone feels for their friends is also a form of caring, and you're just drinking it up. And then, I walk in." "Your point?" Chrysalis asked, no longer coughing as she had regenerated her wounds. "One of your children tried to feed off me, and nearly fainted from it. In a land of peace, happiness, joy, and love, I'm a great big ball of pain, sadness, anger and hate. Since the second I walked in, not only did I cut off your source of go juice, but I'm actually counteracting your mojo. Standing next to me, you have never been weaker in your entire life. Unable to feed on anyone, you're just a bug, and I have the worlds biggest flyswatter." I lifted my sword to the side. "Impossible!" She shot a green beam at me, and I felt my strength draining, only for it to stop and the changeling queen fall to the ground, coughing blood again. "How?" She asked weakly as I stepped over her. "Griffins however have been living in hardship for a long time, and it got bumped way up in the past nine hundred years, but no, that's not it. MY people, humans, we've been cooking in the fires of war since the first monkey stood up straight, looked at the second and said 'I'm first'. The second disagreed, so he gutted him, only to get stabbed in the back by the third. I have strength, I have strategy, and above all, I have cruelty." She got up and put up a shield, only to be thrown across the room by me bashing her with the flat of my sword before she could raise it fully, knocking her over again. She got up once more, raised her shield and fired a massive magic bolt at me. "Batter up!" I then played baseball and sent it right back at her. Again breaking her shield, sending her flying across the room. I coldly walked up to her and cut off her front leg, causing her to scream. I smiled joyfully at the sound. She looked at me like she was about to cry. "THAT, is for your big friend outside hurting my crew member. Eye for an eye and all that, except you're a changeling, and it'll grow back. Look, it already is, so quit your bellyaching." I tossed her stump away and watched as the lime green goo bled out and formed a new leg, which became armored again. "Well, since I already know how this turns out, I'm leaving, I've got wounded to take care of. See you around Celly." "So wait, you're not going to let Celestia out, and you're letting Chrysalis go?" Cadence asked, finally recovering from my malicious assault on the changeling queen. "Yeah, that's right." I replied as the queen shakily got to her hooves, still in quite a bit of pain, and somewhat weakened. "But, we need your help. You can beat the queen, you can save everypony!" "And get called a hero? I don't think so. I don't feel like being paraded through town like some kind of icon. I've got my own crap to do." "You have to! It's your duty to Equestria! Have you no honor?" I stopped, turned around, and looked her in the eye. "Well excuuuuuuuuse me Princess. I wasn't aware I had to foalsit a nation, especially one that I don't belong to, since I'll be doing that to my OWN nation in a year. Equestria's been around for thousands of years, mine really will be a country in it's infancy. I can't go around solving all your problems just because you can't handle them." "But, we need your help. If you don't help us, Equestria will fall, Chrysalis will rule! To walk out now, turn your back on ponies who need you, that's just..... evil." "That's the one thing nobody here seems to get, I am a pirate. I am a bad person, and I do bad things. I'm a necessary evil, going around, changing the world, doing the things nobody else can. But the fact is, despite being a necessary evil, I am still evil. Besides.... I know the future. Regardless of my actions here, the changelings lose. If they won, there wouldn't be a season three, which is already under production. They even gave out some spoilers for possible episodes. Not gonna tell you what, cuz they're not set in stone, and I don't wanna give you bad intel. My point is, I'm here to help, not to DO everything FOR you. Twilight will come in that door any minute, and you'll all be toast." "Season three? Production? Episodes?" Cadence's eye began to twitch. "You.... you're not just evil, you're insane!" "There's a saying where I come from, I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every second of it! Oh and look, here they are now." I watched a group of drones bring six tied up ponies into the room. "Well heya Twilight, nice to see you again..." "Griffin? What the hay are you doing here?" Rainbow asked. "Oh, I was just griffin Chrysalis the ass kicking of a lifetime." Somewhere, an unseen audience laughed at my pun. Pinkie heard it too, judging by the way she looked around trying to find the source of the sound. Everybody else was just confused. "*Sigh* Everyone's a critic. Well, you six seem to have everything under control, I'm out." I suddenly became very dark. "Oh, by the way Chryssie, hurt any of them and I'll drag you on board my ship, I'll put you on a bed of broken glass then do a river dance on your back, rip off your limbs and play Dragonforce on your head with them while Gilda uses your vocal chords for guitar strings, bathe you in cinderfruit juice, keelhaul you, and finally make you listen to Rebecca Black's 'Friday' for six hours straight. If you survive all that, THEN I'll kill you, which at that point, would be mercy." My mood became bright and cheery again. The queen shuddered violently at the thought, not even knowing what half of it was, and the other half being absolutely ridiculous or childish. It didn't matter, because she and everyone else present know that not only do I have the strength to defeat her, I'm nucking futz enough to actually go through with doing what I threatened her with, and a whole lot more. I cut the bindings off the mane six. "Face it, you tried to play with the big kids, and you got your ass handed to you. Deal with it. Have fun kiddies. I'll let Luna off when she's fully healed, and give her the relocation paperwork while I'm at it." Then I put my sunglasses back on and left the building. I poked my head back in. "Oh, and..... happy anniversary." And then I took off into the sky, back to my ship to get the hell out of Canterlot. Everyone stayed silent for a time, until Twilight spoke up. "Is it just me, or is Griffin bucking SCARY?" "Oh, who cares about that fool! Now that he's left, I'm back in business!" The queen said with renewed vigor, then began doing some kind of singing thing. During the distraction, Twilight snuck over to Cadence. "Quick! Go to him while you have the chance." Twilight instructed the princess, shooting her bindings off. "Steelhorn, we're done here, let's go." I said, taking a seat and breathing deep to try and calm myself. "For all the crap her guards put us through, the queen herself was easy. She tried to feed on me, and that alone almost killed her. How's Trixie?" "Sorry Grif, but, it looks like the spell can't reattach limbs." Nadene answered sadly. "Yeah, I figured that....." I put my claw to my head and dragged it down my face to try and pull off the fatigue. "How's Luna?" "I am quite well, thank you." She walked into the meeting room, wearing some bandages around her hooves, and her mane wasn't flowing, but for the most part she looked fine. "Well, at least there's some good news. Say, you wouldn't know how to reattach limbs would you?" She hung her head. "What about a surgeon?" "Well, after this much time....." "Yeah. The tissue would have died. There's no reattaching it. Ahhhhh crap. Well, I suppose we could always go the Army of Darkness route." "Army of Darkness?" Luna asked, tilting her head to the side. "Never mind. Anyway, we'll have to get her a prosthetic. This is why we need a doctor. Poor girl. I'm supposed to protect her while she's riding me. I let this happen....." I sighed again, somewhat depressed. "You can't plan for everything...." Gilda said, stroking my back. "Yes I can, it's my job to, and I fucked up." A shock wave passed through the ship, over all of us. It was the same colour as the barrier bubble from before, but it didn't seem to have any effect. Looking out a window, I could see thousands of changelings getting thrown in all directions. "Well, perhaps we should check on our guest." We walked down to the room Drone was held in, and instead of a changeling, I saw a green splatter on the wall. Apparently that purple wave repelled all the changelings, and with nowhere to go, she got crushed between it and the walls of the ship. "Aw, that's gonna take forEVER to clean. Hey Luna, put this in the archives would you?" I passed her the files for the relocated griffins. "When we find the rest of their families, we'll be putting them back together, and we need to know where everyone is." She nodded and took the papers. "Know anyone who deals in prosthetic surgery?" Trixie got taken to a doctor who would operate and put a basic fitting on her stump, so the prosthetic limb could be attached and removed whenever it needed. I told them not to bother giving her a plastic leg, because we'd just throw it out and replace it with a better one. The tribe and their partners all had minor injuries which were being tended to, miraculously, nobody died. I attribute this to having superior gear, strategy, and being on the defensive. Couple cuts, bruises, and a few broken bones, nothing too serious. After a day of cleanup, (which I avoided doing, despite most of it being corpses and blood that I was responsible for painting the town with), the wedding was back on, and Luna got her bandages off. She was fine for a while already, but Nadene told her she should rest for the day to get back to normal. I told her it was a good excuse to slack off. So, I told everyone that she was a little worse off than she really was, and she got to get out of cleaning up the city. She was thankful for that. "So, you coming?" She asked as she headed down to the wedding. "Nah, I'm pretty sure after my display, nobody is really looking forward to seeing me again. In fact, I think they might be mad at me." I said sheepishly. "This is their wedding, I'd hate to steal their thunder, and the ceremony is always so boring. I beat the tar out of Chrysalis and weakened her to the point that she was defeated by 'The power of love' or whatever, I've had my fun. Now everyone gets to think they're the heroes instead of me. Just the way I like it. I've gotta stick around till Trixie is out of the hospital, and Steelhorn is working to properly arm all of us, but he needs materials from the city. You might see me around here or there during the next week or so, but then we've gotta get going. We've got a brand new village to help build." "You did a good thing, and by your actions, probably saved all of Equestria. I know we're giving you the supplies you need for free as a reward, but, don't you want any recognition for what you did?" The moon princess asked. "Nah, I don't wanna be bombarded by ponies trying to get my autograph every time I walk down the street. Being a celebrity sucks. If you want to thank me, just keep doing what you're doing, helping me get griffins to new homes, putting families back together." "Fair enough, although you can only put it off for so long. If you keep doing things like this, eventually ponies will start taking notice." "Yeah, but, I'll keep it under wraps as much as I can. I think I'll go chill in the gardens for a bit. There's something I need to see." "Well, alright." And then Luna flew down to the wedding. "Hello everypony, did I miss anything?" "Hey Grif?" "Yeah Gilda?" "This was a major event right?" "Yeah." "So, wouldn't it been put in the show?" "Yeah, just not my parts." "Why not?" "It's a kids show, and I'm rated R. They'll just cut my parts out. I'm not worried about it. I'm gonna head down to see Discord's statue. I have some thinking to do." I flew down to the city and found the garden, with the chaos serpent forever trapped in a pose of horror, knowing what was about to hit him. I hopped up on the statue, turned into a human, and sat on his head, swinging my legs in front of his face. I took a deep breath, then let it out. "Sup Discord?" "Wait, you're not the one I sent here... another human?" I heard a voice in my head. "Yep, some old geezer snapped his fingers and sent me on my way. Oh, I've had so much fun spreading chaos. Too bad you're stuck in here and didn't get to see it." "Tell me about it. It's sooooooo BORING being a statue." "Seriously though, one day a whole mess of humans just pop out of our universe and into this one, all on the day of your release. One was sent by you on purpose, me and one more were sent by some old dude for unknown reasons, and those are just the ones I know, no telling how many others are out there. It's been really busy lately. Disarray and Echo in Wethoof, changelings, slave rebellion to lead. Busy busy busy, but, that's the way it is with chaos isn't it? After all, chaos is nothing more than change, and change is the only constant in the world, shuffling the deck, bringing high things low, and low things high, or somewhere in the middle." "Did you come here just to lecture me on my own nature?" "Maybe, I figure torturing you with philosophy is the least of your worries, considering you're a statue. I'm a harbinger of change, just like you. I might not be as powerful as you, but, I'm also not a statue. I figure, the griffins are at the bottom of the deck, and the ponies are at the top, if I cut the deck in half, then shuffle the lower half only before putting it back together, everyone benefits right?" "Except you. What about your wants?" "Me? I'm having fun killing stuff. Really, I'm just tagging along. Make a wave then ride it wherever it goes." "And once you succeed in your little scheme? You won't be happy anymore." "Yeah yeah, die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain. It's fine batman, I'm used to being unhappy. I'll deal with it. I've dealt with it my whole life, and who knows, maybe that will change too?" "Hahaha! That's the spirit! "The spirit of CHAOS. Of course, all things exist within chaos, including a means to it's own end. Murphy's law mate, gotta happen sooner or later. Oh, here come Celestia and Luna, this is gonna be funny." "What is this? You! Who are you, and what are you doing there?" Celestia asked. I cleared my throat, and put on my best Discord impression. "Oh, there's been so much excitement lately, I figured I'd just pop in and say hello! Did you miss me?" They both started hoofing at the ground and lowered their horns. I went back to using my normal voice. "Oh come on, lighten up will you, it's a wedding. Besides, he's still locked up tight." I pat the statue on the head, then leapt off, rolling on the ground and jumping to my feet in front of them, then dusting myself off. "Wait.... Griffin?" Luna asked. I hung my head. "Yeah. It's me. This is what I really look like." "For a moment we thought you were Discord." Celestia replied, I looked back up. "Wouldn't be the first time love." Sparrow swagger. "I seem to remember a certain student of yours thinking the same when we first met." "So, what are you doing all the way out here?" "Oh, just having a chat with the blockhead. By the way, do you have a marker or some paint? I was thinking of drawing a mustache on him, maybe a monocle. Just because he's the petrified spirit of disharmony doesn't mean he can't look classy." Celestia face hoofed and Luna giggled at my humor. "So, you coming to the party?" The moon princess asked. "Oh, but what would I WEAR?" I replied over dramatically. "Seriously though, I thought I made it clear that it was my intent to RUIN the party. Besides, my crew isn't coming, Trixie is still in the hospital. Just wouldn't be the same without em you know?" "You really care about them, don't you?" The older sister asked. "I do. They're the family and friends I never had. I'd do anything for them, and the same is true for the country I'll be founding. They'll be MY little griffins, in the same way all of Equestria are your little ponies." "You'll make a fine ruler." "A very wise man once said, one does not rule, one leads... I intend to let them govern themselves, with me only stepping in if things get out of hand. Wouldn't due to have a council that thinks going to war is a good idea. Besides, that way, it saves me a lot of paperwork and holding court and having audiences and all that crap that eats up so much of your time." "Wait, you're taking the easy way out?" "I'll always give a hard task to a lazy man, because he'll find an easy way to do it to spare himself the effort. If they can take care of themselves better than I can, why would I take that responsibility? I'd rather spare myself the headache. I'm not immortal you know, I won't be around forever. In the time I have, I've gotta make it so the country can practically run itself. It won't have the benefit of an undying benevolent leader like Equestria has. Things are gonna be rough for a bit, I have to take as many shortcuts as I can just to make it possible." "Still, I feel we should thank you, not only did you weaken the changelings to the point that Cadence and Shining Armor could defeat them AND rescued my sister, you left so that they could take the credit for it. You knew all along that things would turn out, and they did." "Yeah, but, this is it. That's the end of my foresight of your world. I don't know what the future holds anymore. They usually start a season with a villain. Season one was Nightmare moon, season two was Discord, and the end of season two was the changelings. When season three rolls around, I wonder who the villain will be? By that time, I should be set up enough to help out, just, drop me a line if you need an assist. Reverti." I turned into a griffin again. "You wanna thank me? Just keep assisting wherever you can." "So, the amulet is what has the magic?" Celestia pondered, taking a closer look. "Well, it doesn't make the spell possible as much as it protects the wearer from it. It's meant for illusionists, shapeshifters, and tricksters to fight each other without breaking their own spells. I can cast the spell with any gem, the amulet just protects the wearer. That's why I took it off." "So, this single object is what you based your entire theory of magic on, and it turned out to be right?" Luna asked. "Pretty much. I recognized the language, then patched it together with legends from my world, tested a bit, and figured it out. Yeah, I'm a genius, I know...." "And don't forget modest...." Celestia scowled. "Yes, that too." We all had a bit of laughter at the joke. "Well, I'm gonna go check up on Trixie. She should have had her surgery by now. Oh, first things first. Take a picture of the three of us." "What for?" "Oh, memories, fun, something to tell my grand kids." I drew my sword and stuck it in the ground, the princesses scooted up beside me, and the Statue of Discord was behind us. Celestia had one of her guards fetch a photographer. "Say cheese!" The pegasus I recognized as Shutterfly, (not Fluttershy) called. "Futterwacken!" The princesses looked at me confused, my sunglasses perched on my head, one claw holding my sword, the other reaching towards the camera, making a peace sign, and the image was immortalized in ink. "Send me a couple copies when it comes out, you know how." And then I left to rest on the ship. I was tired, I'd go see Trixie in the morning. I heard soft crying coming from the operating room as Gilda and Nadene waited patiently. Etch and Growl couldn't bare to hear the sound of their injured team mate and had their ears pressed against their heads. Trixie was rolled out to us in a wheelchair. She had a plastic hoof painted the same colour as her coat, which she kept looking at like it was some sort of monster attached to her. Her eyes were red. Obviously crying from both pain and loss. I immediately took her in a hug while she still sat in the chair. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, it's all my fault." "My, my leg..... it, it's gone......" "I know...." "I, can't help you anymore. I... I...." I pulled back to look her in the eyes. "No. Even missing a hoof, you are far more than you were, and now, you have an opportunity. Among humans, many have lost arms or legs, but only the most badass of them would replace the severed limb with a weapon. They rose to become legends, their names feared and respected throughout the world. I'll have Steelhorn come up with something." "No, I mean.... I can't...... I'm scared..... I lost a leg... what if it's my horn next time, or my head? I...." "It won't happen again... I won't let it happen...." "It shouldn't have happened in the first place! You can try to account for everything but you CAN'T! YOU CAN'T DO EVERYTHING! You say it won't happen again but guess what, it WILL! You won't be able to stop it! You couldn't this time, and you won't be able to next time!" She was practically screaming now. I backed away from her and killed my emotions. The temperature in the room dropped by several degrees, something not unnoticed by the rest of my crew and the other patients. "Fine then. I'm not going to make you come with us. After all, it was always your choice. We've been pardoned, you've been given an out. If that's what you really want, take it, just take it and go." And then I turned to leave. "Griffin..." She stopped yelling and was crying again. "I suggest you figure yourself out. The ship is leaving in five days, you have until then to decide whether or not you want to be on it." I walked out of the room and slammed the door as I did. I left the hospital, grabbed a few clouds and made a box out of them so I wouldn't be disturbed, and proceeded to cry my eyes out.