//------------------------------// // Part 11 Dan & Pinkie Vs. Distractions: Chapter 92 Dan & Pinkie Vs. Intervention // Story: The Wheel and the Butterfly A Dan X Pinkie Pie Saga // by Justice3442 //------------------------------// The Wheel and the Butterfly A Dan X Pinkie Pie saga Part 11 Dan & Pinkie Vs. Distractions Chapter 92 Dan & Pinkie Vs. Intervention -ooooooo- “Ahhh…” Dan began as he walked across the street. “Ye’ ol’ nameless ‘Elementary School’.” Dan stared at the adobe, two-story building as he stopped on the sidewalk in front of it. The school had a large sign that simply read ‘Elementary School’; a large, brown double door entrance flanked on either side by two large, rectangular divided windows, and a number of rectangular windows topped with a semicircle on its second floor. Pinkie quickly bounded up to her boyfriend and slipped her hand into his. “This place sure brings back some memories,” Dan said. He frowned. “Mostly involving anger, blackmail, and squirrels…” “It’s okay, Dan!” Pinkie said cheerfully. “Soon you’ll have fond memories of me screaming at Amber to add to that pile of unhappy!” “…And a thrashing?” Dan asked hopefully. “We’ll see~!” Pinkie sang out. The couple heard the sound of another car approach and stop. They turned as Chris and Elise’s blue sedan parked behind Dan’s hatchback. The doors opened and Chris, Elise, Becky, and Ninja Dave all exited the car and walked up to them. “Would you hurry it up?!” Dan said impatiently. “Let’s get Chris the stupid support he needs so Pinkie and I can go off and do more important things." “Ahhh…” Chris said as he walked up to Dan. “The old nameless ‘Elementary School’.” Dan rolled his eyes. “I said that already, Jerk-Face.” “This place sure brings back memories,” Chris said as Elise, Ninja Dave, and Becky closed in behind Dan and Pinkie. Pinkie giggled. “Hehehe… Dan said that, too…” Dan groaned. “Do you have to drag me through memory lane, again!?” “Well, this is where you learned to control your anger,” Chris said. He scrunched his lips to the side of his face “And also where you quickly forgot how to control it.” “Bringing everyone back to the warm, comforting normality of status quo,” Pinkie said. “Sooo…” Elise said. “Everyone ready to go in?” “Yes, fine,” Dan said in an irritated tone. “Let’s…” Dan paused and glanced around him. “Wait, why are you all hovering around Pinkie and…” Dan’s eyes went wide. “Oh, no… PINKIE, RUN!” “Uh… how far?” Pinkie asked. “GRAB THEM!” Elise cried. Pinkie stood still with a confused expression on her face as Ninja Dave and Elise quickly grabbed her arms. Dan attempted to make a break for it, but Becky and Chris quickly grabbed hold of him. He flailed his legs about and continued struggling. “Unhand me, you cavalcade of backstabbers!” he cried. “Sorry, Dan,” Chris said, “but this is for your own good.” “Funny… ” Dan replied as he continued to thrash in Chris and Becky’s grasp and gnash his teeth. “… grrahhh… that usually precedes me doing something I have absolutely no interest in doing that ultimately doesn’t help me at all! Gah!” he cried as he attempted to pull his arm out of Becky’s grasp. “Erg…And why the heck are you so strong?!” “Uhg…I’m not that strong,” Becky said as she clamped her hands around Dan’s arm. “I just don’t think you work out or anything…” “WHY AREN’T YOU STRUGGLING?!” Dan roared at Pinkie. “Come on Dan,” Pinkie said. “These are our friends! They wouldn’t be doing this without good reason!” Elise breathed a sigh of relief and removed her hands from Pinkie’s arms, Dave followed suite.  “Thanks Pinkie,” Elise said. “That’s very sensible of you…” “Well,” Dan said, “would they have to restrain us if it was something we wanted to do?!” Pinkie paused briefly. “Oh, uh… good point!” Elise’s eyes widened. “DAVE, GRAB HER!” Too late, in a pink flash, Pinkie had moved from her spot. “Hey, Chris!” Pinkie greeted. “WHA!” Chris called out an alarm as Pinkie practically materialized in front of him. “Hey, Pinkie…” Chris replied in a worried tone. Pinkie clenched her fingers together and pulled back her fist. “You may want to let go of my boyfriend.” “Eep!” Chris uttered. Dan grinned a wide, wicked grin. “That’s my girl…” “Pinkie!” Elise cried as she dove for the pink haired girl. “Uh-oh…” Pinkie quickly sidestepped Elise as the maroon haired girl pounced down on the spot Pinkie was in a moment ago. With lightning fast reflexes, Elise thrust her open hand out at Pinkie who quickly tilted her head and body back in response. “Don’t make this difficult!” Elise cried. Pinkie zipped again, and positioned herself behind Becky. She poked her head from around tan-skinned woman’s head. “Tell us what this is about, first!” she replied. “WHOA!” Pinkie exclaimed as Elise threw a punch and Pinkie ducked her head behind Becky’s. “HEY!” Becky cried. “I didn’t know this whole couple’s therapy would be this intense!” “Couple’s therapy?!” Dan roared. “What the heck guys! Pinkie and I are a great couple!” “Yeah!” Pinkie protested. “WE—OOF!” Pinkie felt a leg connect solidly with her abdomen and propel her a few yards away from Becky. She slid on her feet on the pavement a bit before leaning down on a hand and placing an arm over her stomach. “Owie…” she uttered with a pained look on her face. “Nice kick…” Elise said to Ninja Dave. Dave lowered his foot back to the ground. “Thanks.” “PINKIE!” Dan cried angrily as he glared daggers at Dave. “I can’t BELIEVE you’d hit a girl!” “Dude!” Dave exclaimed. “You’ve been trying to bite Becky this entire time!” “Bite!” Dan declared angrily. “Not hit!” “No one is arguing that you two aren’t a great couple!” Elise cried. “You’re not?” Pinkie said. “Whoa!” Dave exclaimed as he turned and noticed Pinkie’s fist was being held mere inches from his face. “No!” Elise cried. “We just think… as a couple…” “A very adorable and cute couple!” Chris chimed in. Elise nodded. “Yes, as a very adorable and cute couple,we think you two could use a little friendly guidance…” “Oh…” Pinkie said as she continued her punch, connecting with Dave’s face with a solid ‘POW!’ “OW!” Dave exclaimed as he placed a hand over his right eye. “Okay!” Pinkie said cheerfully as she retracted her fist. “Pinkie!” Becky cried. “Not cool!” “Hey! She owed him one!” Dan exclaimed. “Yeah,” Pinkie said, “I mean… it was either that or Dan swears vengeance on Dave… again!” Dave frowned and thought about this. “Alright, yeah, punched in the face is starting to feel not so bad, now…” “Alright, we’ll listen,” Dan said. “NOW UNHAND ME!” Dan cried as he kicked his feet out. Chris and Becky looked at Elise who nodded. They let go of Dan and gently lowered him to the ground. “Now hurry up and explain the guidance garbage so Pinkie and I can tell you all why you’re stupid and get on with our day already,” Dan cried.  “Well, for starters,” Elise began, “you both have matching black eyes and are covered with bruises you two have inflicted on each other.” “What we do in the privacy of our bedroom is none of your business!” Dan cried. Pinkie nodded in agreement. “You two didn’t get all that during some bizarre roleplaying session,” Elise said as she placed her hands on her hips. >-oooooooo-< “I love you more!” Pinkie said sweetly as she rubbed her nose against Dan. She wore her pink and white striped shirt and a pair of jean shorts as the couple sat atop a blue loveseat. Dan chuckled. “Heh… No, I love you more!” he said as he returned the nose rub. Pinkie narrowed her eyes slightly. “No, I love you more!” Dan frowned. “No, I love you more!” Pinkie furrowed her brow and pulled her lips up into a grimace. “I love you more!” she shrieked at Dan, mere inches from his face. Dan glared at Pinkie. “I LOVE YOU MORE!” He roared. Pinkie focused determined looking eyes and pulled back her fist as she shifted her body weight to the right. “No…” She sent her fist towards Dan’s face. It collided with a solid sounding ‘POW!’ “I love you more!” Dan placed his left hand over his injured eye and began to a low growl “Grrrrrr…” Dan pulled back his own fist. “No.” He sent his fist towards Pinkie’s face and also connected with a solid sounding ‘POW!’ “I love YOU more!” Pinkie placed her own hand over her eye and glared out with her right eye at Dan. Dan mirrored her angry expression and the two paused as they each locked their uninjured at with the other. “I LOVE YOU MORE!” The couple shouted as if it were a battle cry. The dove on each other and immediately began exchanging blows and grasping at clothing, each one trying to get the advantage on the other. After a exchanging a few more blows the two grappled each other off the loveseat and hit the ground with a solid sounding ‘THUD!’ From their couch, Elise and Chris watched with a detached almost bored expressions as Dan and Pinkie struggled on the floor. Chris sighed. “Should we break them up?” Elise frowned. “I don’t know, we both got bit and scratched quite a few times last time we tried. I think it’s like cats with those two… you’re just supposed to let them fight it out…” “I LOVE YOU MORE!” Pinkie shrieked as she straddled Dan and slammed her fist into Dan’s arms as he blocked her blow. Chris paused and stroked his chin thoughtfully. “Wait, is that actually what you’re supposed to do with cats, or is that just something everyone says and we just sort of go along with it?”  “I LOVE YOU MORE!” Dan roared as sent his fist into Pinkie’s side. “Ooof! Owie!” Pinkie cried. “Huh,” Elise replied. “You know, I’m not actually sure… maybe we could look it up.” “I LOVE YOU MORE!” Pinkie cried as she sent her fist into Dan’s cheek. ‘POW!’ “OW!” Dan exclaimed. Chris suddenly stood up and held up his index finger. “To the internet!” he cried. “WHA!” Pinkie cried out in alarm as Dan grabbed her by the waist and rotated his body, successfully bringing her to the ground with a loud ‘THUD!’ Elise chuckled as she stood up. “You’re cute when you’re weird…” she said as the couple walked out of the living room. Dan positioned himself over Pinkie and pulled his fist back. “I LOVE YOU MORE!” <-oooooooo-> “Well, what couple doesn’t fight from time to time?!” Dan demanded. Pinkie nodded in agreement. Elise rolled her eyes. “Couples occasionally raise their voices and have heated discussions about things, sure, but you two may very well be the only couple on the planet to come to blows over who loves who more.” “Look, I still don’t see what the big deal is, I mean… we made up,” Dan said with a grin. Pinkie giggled as she walked up to Dan and placed her hands on his shoulders. “Hehehe… We suuuure did…” “Yeah, uh…” Chris began, “…that was the other problem.” Dan smiled mischievously. “Don’t tell me you two prudes have an issue with how we made up…” “Not how,” Elise huffed out. “Where.” Pinkie’s face immediately turned a luminescent shade of crimson and she hid herself behind Dan. Dan turned his palms upward and held them up parallel to his shoulders as if asking ‘What’s the big deal?’ with his body. “Pinkie talked me out of us using your bedroom, and I mean… bathrooms are pretty self-cleaning for the most part.” Dave glanced at Becky. “Should I be worried or insanely jealous of these two?” Becky shook her head. “I dunno, I mean… one would think they could have skipped the violence and gone straight to the bathro... ” Becky’s face turned beet red as it dawned on her who she was talking to. “I uh…” Dave looked at Becky and grinned. “You’re cute when you’re embarrassed.” “Uh… thanks,” Becky said with a sheepish grin as her blush increased. “JUST KISS ALREADY!” The couple turned and looked at Pinkie. “Uh… what?” Dave asked. “Your relationship is taking too long!” Pinkie whined. “So… kiss already!” “Uh… we sorta… already did…” Dave said. “WHAT?!” Pinkie cried. “WHEN?! Why wasn’t I informed?!” Pinkie demanded. “It happened when I killed my first vampire,” Becky said. “I kinda… uh… lost myself in the moment…” “Aw, dis!” Pinkie cried. “Could you reenact the scene for me, please?” Pinkie asked with a large grin as she cupped her hands together and held them below her waist. “PINKIE!” Dan called out sternly. “What?” Pinkie replied. “Stop shipping your friends!” Dan folded his arms in front of his chest. “It’s creepy.” Pinkie puffed out her lower lip in a pout. “But they’re dating! So it’s okay!” she whined out. “Look guys,” Chris said, “we just think that maybe you two can pick up a few pointers so you don’t get into fist fights with each other and make-up in public!” “Your house is not public,” Dan retorted. Chris narrowed his eyes. “I wasn’t just talking about our house.” Dan paused as Pinkie’s face flushed red once more and she attempted to hide herself behind Dan again. “Uhhh… alright, I guess I don’t have a response for that,” Dan admitted. “So you’ll go?!” Elise asked enthusiastically. Pinkie popped back up from behind Dan and nodded her head. Dan sighed as he glanced up at Pinkie. “FINE. If it will get you two to leave us alone.” “Hurray!” Chris said excitedly. “And we’ll all be there for support.” Elise glanced up at Chris. “Hold up there, we still need to talk about your problem.” “But I thought…” Elise shook her head. “You still eat things that aren’t food! It can’t be good for you.” Chris sighed. “Oh… alright…” “Hey, let’s all figure out something wrong with Elise so we’re all on equal footing,” Dan suggested. “What?” Elise growled out in a warning tone. “Oooo! Good idea, Dan!” Pinkie exclaimed. “Pinkie, you too?!” Elise cried. “What, that way we’re all dysfuctubudies!” Pinkie said with a smile. Becky chuckled. “I like it. It’s got a nice ring to it.” Dave grinned. “You four could get matching t-shirts.” “But I’m a great wife!” Elise insisted as she threw her arms out to the side. The group went silent. “Oh, I so totally am!” Elise insisted. She turned to Chris. “Tell them!” she said as she motioned out to the rest of the group. “Sure gorgeous… you’re a perfect wife!” Chris said in an unnatural cadence as he plastered on a fake smile. Elise frowned. “I just said great… I didn’t say perfect.” “Oh well… uh, you’re that too.” Chris said.  “Chris, what’s wrong?!” “Nothing!” Chris said as he held up his hands defensively. Elise narrowed her eyes at her husband and took a small step closer to him, raising her face to look straight into his teal eyes with her maroon ones. “Chris! If you have a problem with me, I’d rather you tell me instead of letting it build up like last time.” Chris exhaled and took a half step back from his wife. “Well sometimes… you don’t seem to have a lot of concern for my personal safety.” “What!” Elise protested. “That’s crazy! I’d never…”  “Oh,” Dave said, “like the time she used you as bait for me and I poisoned you with a blow dart?” “Well…” Elise said sheepishly. “That was because…” “And the time she made you dance with her even after you got a hairline fracture on your ankle?” Dan chimed in. “But, I mean… my parents… they uh… never…” “Oooo! Oooo! Or all the dangerous chemicals and machines you’ve worked on right in the house!” Pinkie added. “Er… the thing is… I do have the shed, now… so…” “And the time you tased me,” Chris said. Elise winced. “I thought you didn’t know about that,” she said weakly as she avoided eye contact with Chris. Chris folded his arms. “I’ve had time to reflect on that night,” he informed. He narrowed his eyes. “Being socked with a stun gun by someone in the chest after you say ‘I love you’ to them? Not pleasant,” Chris informed flatly. “Well… I mean… I did all of those for your own good.” The group went quiet and stared at Elise. “Uh… I did most those things for Chris’s own good?” “…” “Alright, alright!” Elise cried as she threw up her arms in exasperation. “So I maybe only did one of those things for Chris’s own good.” Pinkie grinned. “Aaaaand…?” “Uh… I’m sorry?” Dan cocked and eye at Elise. “Aaaaaand…?” Elise sighed. “And, I guess we can talk about it at couple’s therapy…” Chris wrapped an arm around Elise’s shoulder and pulled her close to him. “Thanks, sweetheart! It makes me so happy to hear that.” “Yeah, yeah…” Elise muttered out unenthusiastically as she patted her husband’s chest with a hand. “Great!” Dan exclaimed. “Now let’s find something wrong with Becky and Ninja Dave.” “WHAT?!” Ninja Dave and Becky cried in unison. “Uh, Dan,” Elise began, “they really are here for moral support.” “Laaaame!” Dan exclaimed. “I know what’s wrong with them!” Pinkie exclaimed. The group turned towards the pink haired girl. “They won’t kiss in front of me!” Pinkie said as she leveled a pink fingernail at the end of her index finger at Dave and Becky. “I mean… what’s up with that?!” Dan sighed and reached for his girlfriend’s hand. “Come on, Goofball. You’re being weird again... might as well unleash some of that strangeness on Amber.” “But… but… smoochees!” Pinkie protested as Dan dragged her towards the school and she stared at Dave and Becky. “Well…” Elise said in a less than enthused tone. “We better go, too.” “Cheer up Elise!” Chris said. “This way we can improve as a couple, together!” he said with a smile. Elise exhaled. “You’re right Chris… I’m sure I won’t regret this decision and this will only strengthen our relationship and I also won’t regret couple’s therapy…” “Uh, you mentioned ‘not regretting it’ twice,” Chris said as he and Elise walked to the school, Chris’s arm around Elise’s shoulders. “Did I?” Elise replied as the couple walked to the school. “You ready for this?” Becky asked as she looked up at Ninja Dave with a smile. Dave chuckled. “Watch two weird couples hash out their bizarre relationship issues with a girl most of the group hates? Wouldn’t miss it for the world.” Becky reached out for Dave’s hand and the two also made their way to the school.