//------------------------------// // Part 13 Dan & Pinkie Vs. Couch Hunt: Chapter 111 Amber Vs. Sunset Shimmer // Story: The Wheel and the Butterfly A Dan X Pinkie Pie Saga // by Justice3442 //------------------------------// The Wheel and the Butterfly A Dan X Pinkie Pie saga Part 13 Dan & Pinkie Vs. Couch Hunt Chapter 111 Amber Vs. Sunset Shimmer -ooooooo- Outside Wally’s Cupcake and Muffin Emporium the parking lot was devoid of cars, but strangely still full. Illuminated by the parking lot lights above, two combatants circled each other on a blue mat surrounded by hastily set up posts and ropes. In turn, the whole thing was surrounded by a crowd of excited people who cheered the two on. Amber held tape-wrapped hands in front of her, her fingers curled into tight fists. Her long blonde hair had been tied into a ponytail. She wore a simple black workout outfit of a tank top and sweatpants. Sunset Shimmer had also tied her hair back. She held her hands in front of her at waist level with her hands open as if ready to grab hold of something. She wore a black sports bra, a pair of tight black shorts, black boots with a purple flame motif, purple-and-black armbands, and a mask. The mask had a rather detailed scene of a red and yellow sun set in the center of Sunset’s forehead against a dark purple star filled background complete with clouds and even a full moon on the left hand side, and even bright red highlights above Sunset’s eyes. Amber shook her head. “I’m sorry, but that is a ridiculous getup.” Sunset Shimmer rolled her eyes. “At least I have an outfit for fighting. You clearly just put on your workout clothes!” “Well excuse me for not making it a habit of holding grudges against people and then randomly attacking their coworkers.” Sunset chuckled as she took a few steps forward. Amber threw a punch towards Sunset’s face that Sunset easily dodged as she wrapped her arms around Amber’s other arm and torso. The crowd cheered as the two fighters finally made contact. Sunset grinned as she held her opponent tightly. “Oh, I don’t usually pick fights like this. I wear this when I wrestle on the weekends.” Amber’s eyes went wide as she felt her feet leave the mat. Fearing she’d be suplexed for the second time that day, Amber quickly brought her head back and suddenly brought her forehead into contact with Sunset’s. ‘SMACK!’ “Gah!” Sunset cried as she let go of Amber and reached up for her forehead. “OW!” Amber exclaimed as she also reached up for her own forehead. The two women increased the distance between them as the crowd went wild over the head-butt. Sunset Shimmer grinned as she rubbed her mask covered forehead. “Quick thinking.” Amber grimaced as she rubbed her forehead. “You’ll find I’m full of surprises,” she replied. Sunset Shimmer’s grin widened into a devilish smile. She spread her arms out again and placed her left leg behind her, shifting her weight back. “You might put up more of a fight than I thought…” Amber quickly put her hands back in front of her face as Sunset dove for her. Amber had little time to react as Sunset wrapped her arms around her and tackled her to the mat. “One chocolate muffin, please!” a voice called out from the crowd. Chris turned, a tray with a few assorted baked goods on it was strapped to his chest. He noticed someone in the crowd holding up a wad of cash. He walked over, handed the person a cupcake, and took the money. “Could I get a rainbow cupcake?” someone else called. Chris repeated the process of handing out baked goods and collecting money. He stared down at his near-empty tray and made a quick beeline back for the bakery. No sooner had he walked through the entrance when a ringing emitted from his pocket. He quickly reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. He tapped the screen before bringing it up to his ear. “Hey, Dan!” “Chris! I need you to come here right away, and bring that crazy woman that lives at your house with you!” Dan shouted into his phone. Chris rolled his eyes. “You mean Elise?” “You named her?!” Dan cried as he flung his black sweater clad arm out. “Chris, it’s not healthy to get attached to stray unhinged girls like that! If you start paying attention to them, they’ll never leave!” “I don’t want Elise to leave!” Chris exclaimed. “Hence why we’re married!” “Wow…” Dan uttered. “I can’t let you out of my sight for a second! Geez, I bet you let that psycho sleep in the same bed as you and even watch movies with her!” Chris knitted his brow and looked up towards the ceiling briefly. “Wait, are you talking about Elise and me or you and Pinkie?” Dan paused. “… Alright, yeah… In retrospect, I should have thought out my insults a little better before this call. Look, the bottom line is Pinkie and I need troops.” “Ah, so you’re both alright then,” Chris said. “And what does that have to do with anything?!” Dan demanded. “Just sorting out my priorities here,” Chris said. “WHAT?!” Dan cried as he angrily paced back and in his and Pinkie’s bedroom. “Helping me and Pinkie liberate a couch from the evil clutches of the Salvation Armed Forces should be priority number one.” “That sounds rather illegal, Dan.” “Legality is just a matter of perspective, Chris!” “Somehow, I doubt that line would work very well in a court of law.” “You’d be surprised,” Dan replied dryly. “Why are you putting up such a fight, anyway? What can you be doing that even makes this conversation worthwhile?!” “I’m at the bakery, Dan.” “STILL?!” Dan cried. “You guys should be closed up and cleaned up by now!” Dan furrowed his brow. “Are you all slacking off without me there to yell at you?” Dan asked as he pointed at his phone. Chris sighed as he continued, “It’s the opposite really...” “Is that Chris?!” Pinkie said excitedly as she emerged from the bathroom wearing a skin-tight black outfit that hugged her shapely body. Dan rolled his eyes and covered the microphone of his phone with a hand. “No, I’m calling on the Keebler Elves to help liberate the couch from the Salvation Armed forces.” Pinkie gasped. “Dan! You didn’t tell me you knew the Keebler Elves! How’s Ernie in person—er elfson? Is he really as nice as he seems, or is it just an act for the cameras?” Dan sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose with a thumb and forefinger. “No, you moron! I AM talking to Chris, but I was being sarcastic!” “Oh!” Pinkie said as her eyes widened slightly. “Sarcasms… right… Sorry, still trying to figure that one out…” Pinkie smiled once again. “Anyhow, tell Chris I said ‘Hi!’” Dan grumbled irritably to himself before saying, “Pinkie says ‘Hi!’” into the phone. “Tell Pinkie I said—“ Dan turned back to Pinkie as irritation began to increase on his face. “Chris says ‘Hi!’” Dan refocused his attention on the phone. “Alright, explain yourself, lackey!” “Well, do you remember that crazy, yellow-and-red-headed girl from the ice-skating rink a few months back?” “The girl we left to freeze to death, cold and alone?” Dan chuckled. “Hehheh… Yeah, good times…” Pinkie suddenly put on an interested, concerned expression as she sat on the couple’s bed. “Well, she’s back.” Dan frowned. “From the dead?” Pinkie frowned. “I get the impression that she never died in the first place,” Chris said. “Oh, well that sucks,” Dan exclaimed. Pinkie cocked her head and looked at Dan questioningly. Chris continued, “Anyhow, she showed up earlier in the day to pick a fight with Pinkie, but since she wasn’t here, she ended up performing a suplex on Amber.” Dan’s eyes widened in surprise. “A suplex, you say?” Pinkie’s eyes also widened in surprise. “Yeah,” Chris replied, “turns out that girl seems to be really into wrestling.” “Huh… Well… she’s still mostly terrible… Anyhow, the sensible decision to suplex Amber if Pinkie wasn’t around aside, if that happened earlier in the day, why are you still there?” Chris took a deep breath. “Well, first they started fighting but it seems they both had inflicted some nasty head wounds on each other right away, so once the fighting slowed down they both got dizzy, but since Gibson had started collecting bets people got angry the fight ended without a clear victor. So then Wally got involved, but instead of defusing the situation, he saw an opportunity to extend business a bit and arranged for Amber and Sunset Shimmer to rest up and have a proper showdown later in the evening. And now they’re having a fight again outside the store. Wally even sold tickets.” Dan went silent. “Dan?” Chris asked. “I’m trying to figure out if I should be angry at all of you or inordinately proud. So how’s our girl doing?” “Amber?” Chris said as he glanced out of the bakery. Chris heard a sickly sounding ‘pop!’ followed by Amber’s anguished cry. “AAAAAARRRRRGGHHHHH!” Sunset Shimmer’s derisive laughter cut through the warm evening air like a razorblade. “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, Don’t tell me you’re done!” Amber cried out in determination, “Eeaaahhhg!  I’m not through with you yet!” “Uh…” Chris paused as he thought up a proper response. “… She has the heart of a champion,” he offered. “That bad, huh?” Dan replied. Pinkie frowned. “Yeah,” Chris answered as he nodded. “Fine, you’re busy. How about your crazy wife? She likes helping my crazy girlfriend.” “COME ON AMBER!” A familiar woman’s voice called from outside. “THAT’LL POP RIGHT BACK INTO PLACE!” “She’s busy too, Dan.” “Oh, come on!” Dan cried. “You two owe us after you didn’t answer your phone when Pinkie got kidnapped!” Chris sighed before he replied, “I know, and I’m sorry! Look… I’m sure this fight will be over soon enough and once it is—” “Forget it!” Dan cried. “I don’t want that Salvation Armed Forced goon thinking I’m scared of a little bell and a lot of muscle! Pinkie and I will handle this on our own!” “Dan! If you just give us a little—” “NO!” Dan shouted. “You’re once again dead to me!” Dan pulled the phone away from his ear and readied his finger to terminate the call. “Oooo! Oooo!” Pinkie exclaimed. “Tell Chris we’ll see him and Elise for dinner this weekend!” Dan frowned. “But I—” “Do it!” Pinkie said cheerfully. Dan rolled his eyes as he raised the phone back to the side of his head. “… We’ll see you this weekend…” he grumbled out. “Alright! See ya, buddy!” Chris said cheerfully. Dan pulled the phone away from his face and terminated the call. “Why did you make me do that?” Dan asked Pinkie as he glowered at her. Pinkie shrugged. “I’m just looking forward to a nice dinner with Chris and Elise and didn’t want something like Chris being dead to you to get in the way.” Dan sighed. “Dead to me or not, he’s too busy to help us with the couch.” Pinkie nodded. “I figured as much. What’s going on? Is zombie Sunset Shimmer wrestling everyone at the bakery?” “Naw,” Dan answered as he waved a hand about dismissively. “She apparently didn’t even die.” Pinkie smiled. “Well that’s good!” Dan rolled his eyes. “On that incredibly naïve-sounding note, she came to bakery hoping to pick a fight with you, it sounds like.” Pinkie pursed her lips. “Like… have an ice-skate off?” “Well, she’s apparently gotten into some sort of mixed martial arts match with Amber, so I’m thinking ‘No. Not so much.’” Pinkie sighed as she rested her elbows on her thighs, slouched down, and placed her chin in her hands. “How come this world is full of people who either want to attack or kidnap me?” Pinkie asked in a lamenting tone. Dan shrugged. “Must be your bubbly personality. I mean… even I can’t decide if I want to wrap my arms around your body or my hands around your neck most the time!” Pinkie looked up at Dan and whimpered slightly. Dan rolled his eyes as he sat down on the bed next to Pinkie and patted her back. “Oh, there, there, Goofball. Look, this girl was horrible when we met her and it turns out she learned nothing from having her boyfriend break up with her and being left in a cold, dark skating rink. End of story!” Pinkie sat up with a sour expression on her face. “Dan!” she cried in a protesting tone. “I’m sure she’s a kind person deep inside.” -ooo- Sunset Shimmer looked down with a wicked grin. “Quit hitting yourself! Quit hitting yourself! Quit hitting yourself!” she repeated over and over again as she held on tight to her opponent's wrists and used Amber’s own limp hands to slap her in the face. Amber struggled futility from under Sunset Shimmer as Sunset startled her hapless opponent, Amber’s Tae Bo having proved rather ineffective against Sunset’s wrestling knowledge and practice. “Ow! Ow! I can’t! You dislocated both my shoulders!” Amber cried through the slaps being delivered to her. The crowd was a mixed bag of boos and cheers at this point. Some urged Amber to fight back, others encouraging Sunset to finish her opponent off. Elise scowled from the edge of the ring. “Come on, Amber! Pinkie gets her shoulder dislocated all the time and she bounces right back!” “Ow! Ow! In case you haven’t noticed, I’m not Pinkie! Ow!” “Yeah,” Sunset said with a smirk. “I’m guessing pink girl would have put up more of a fight!” “OW! Shu…shut up!” Amber stammered out as she attempted to throw Sunset’s weight off of her again. Sunset remained, easily keeping her balance on Amber’s torso. “Awww… Is the little baby going to cry?” she mocked. “Come on! Cry for me!” “GHAA!” Amber roared as she continued to struggle. “I WILL TAKE YOU DOWN!” Elise shook her head. “This is just sad…” She scowled out into the ring. “Hey! How about a real challenge!” Sunset looked up at Elise and grinned. “You want to fight me?” Elise smirked she folded her arms across her chest. “You make it sound like I’m a pushover.” Sunset’s smile widened and she nodded. “Alright, I just hope you can fight better than you can skate!” Elise chuckled. “Oh, you won’t have to worry about that…” “Elise!” Chris called has he bounded over to his wife. “What are you doing?!” “Relax!” Elise said as she placed a hand on Chris’s arm. “Just arranging to take this showboat down a peg or two.” Chris frowned. “But you can’t just… You can’t just make a ringside agreement for ‘nexties’ in a fight like this!” Sunset just chuckled and went back to tormenting her opponent. “Ow… ow… ow… ow…” Elise rolled her eyes. “Chris, there’s absolutely no need to—” “GIBSON!” Chris called out. “WHAT?!” Gibson called back. “TELL MY WIFE SHE CAN’T JUST MAKE RINGSIDE ARRANGEMENTS TO FIGHT THE WINNER!” “SHE ABSOLUTELY CANNOT DO THAT!” Gibson shouted back. “WHAT?!” Elise cried. She motioned out to the ring. “But she agreed and everything!” Chris shook his head. “See, darling? You can’t just go around—” Gibson bounded up with a wad of money in one hand and a clipboard in the other. “You need to sign a waiver first,” he informed. “Also give me time to collect more bets.” Chris began to protest, “What?! But—” “HAH!” Elise cried. “GIBSON!” an angry maternal voice called out. “WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON HERE?!” Gibson jumped slightly as his eyes went wide. Even Chris and Elise paused to look at the voice, the owner clearly having perfected the tone of someone who had just caught someone doing something they’re not supposed to do. A woman leveled angry turquoise-colored eyes at Gibson and stormed up to the ring, a young boy following close behind her. The woman had long brown hair tied in a bow and wore a tan sweater with dark brown sleeves and a collar. A pair of khakis hugged her hips and went down to her bare ankles and a pair of brown flats. The boy sported a head of fiery-brown colored hair under a white, red, and yellow beanie with a green propeller on top that spun despite no noticeable breeze. He wore a green hoodie that prominently featured three golden triangles in the center with an emblem that resembled a bird with its wings spread wide. He also wore a pair of brown trousers and brown sneakers. “Uh… Hi, mom…” Gibson said in a worried tone. “Don’t you ‘Hi, mom’ me, mister!” Gibson’s mom cried. “You’re in a lot of trouble!” “Hi, Gibson,” the young boy said simply. Gibson looked down at the boy. “Hey, squirt.” He looked back up at his mom. “I left you a text saying I’d be working late!” Gibson’s mom narrowed her eyes and folded her arms across her chest. “First off, you’re supposed to call! Second off, you’re not baking or serving customers!” Gibson looked at the money in his hand, and the clipboard in the other. “Uh… This isn’t what it looks like!” Gibson’s mom cocked an eyebrow. “It looks like you’re taking bets for a semi-impromptu street brawl.” Gibson’s mother looked into the ring. “A lopsided semi-impromptu street brawl." Sunset Shimmer held both og Amber’s wrists in a single hand and reached down for her face. Sunset pulled up her fist, having inserted her thumb between her index and middle finger. “Got your nose!” she announced. Amber narrowed her eyes. “Now you’re just being childish.” Gibson looked up at his mom with a worried expression. “Uhhh…” He grinned sheepishly. “… Yeeeaaaah…” he admitted. Gibson’s mom nodded. “Well pack it up. Dinner is going to be late enough as it is!” “Yeah, Gibson!” the boy whined. “It’s hamburger and French fry night!” “I can’t do that!” Gibson protested as he flung his arms out. “I have to deal with the bets when the fight is over!” Elise spoke up, “And I get to fight little miss luchador next!” Gibson’s mom sighed and looked at Elise. She looked Elise up and down and asked, “Can you make it quick?” Elise shook her head. “No way! I want her to suffer.” Gibson’s mom sighed as she snatched the clipboard out of her son’s hand. She quickly produced a pen from her pocket and began filling out the sheet. “Hey!” Elise protested. “Sorry, but I’m in a hurry,” Gibson’s mom replied. “But you…” Elise turned to Gibson and motioned out to his mother. “She can’t just do that! Wrestler girl hasn’t even agreed to fight her!”  Gibson turned to the ring. “Hey, Sunset? Are you okay with fighting my mom next?” Sunset was now straddling Amber’s arms in addition to her torso. She looked up from lightly slapping Amber with on hand than the other and grinned wide. “You must be joking!” “Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow…” Amber uttered as she endured her light slapping and continued to attempt to force Sunset off of her. Gibson pointed at his mom with his thumb. “She’s filling out a waiver and everything!” Sunset released another derisive laugh. “AHAHAHAHAHA… Sure, if people are lining up to embarrass themselves, I’m game!” Sunset lifted a leg of her opponent and scooted over to her side. Amber made a pained grunt as she got up to her knees. “Oh, big mista—” Sunset suddenly shifted to behind Amber and wrapped her arm around her neck. “HEY!” Amber cried. “What are you…” Sunset chuckled. “Bedtime, little baby…” Sunset squeezed her arm against Amber’s neck. Despite the pain in her shoulders and upper arms, Amber clawed at the arm around her neck as she gurgled out in alarm. Her struggling soon lessened, then ceased entirely as her eyes began to close. Sunset felt the woman in her arms go slack. She let go of her and Amber’s unconscious body fell to the mat. Gibson watched the fight conclude and shouted, “Sunset Shimmer wins!” The crowd erupted into a loud mix of cheers and boos. Sunset stood up and brushed her palms against each other. “Next?” Gibson’s mom rolled her eyes and handed the clipboard back to her son. “Go collect bets, Gibson.” Gibson nodded. “Sure, mom.” He quickly ran out into the crowd. Gibson’s mom turned to Chris. “Hey, could you get me some hand wrap?” “Uh, sure…” Chris said as he rushed off towards the bakery. “What should I do, mom?” the boy asked. Gibson’s mom kneeled down and put her hand on her son’s shoulder. “Just sit tight, Button. This will be over soon…” Button nodded. “Sure, mom.” “Also remember that you shouldn’t resort to violence, sweetie.” Button nodded again. “Right, mom.” Elise looked Gibson’s mom up and down and lifted an eyebrow. “Are you sure you know what you’re doing?” Gibson’s mom stood up, raised her hands in front of her chest and placed a fist into an open palm. She cracked her knuckles. “Trust me, sun face has no idea what she’s in for…” -ooo- Dan shook his head as he sat down his binoculars. “What’s wrong?” Pinkie asked from the passenger’s seat. “Just the big, stupid guy with his small, stupid bell out front,” Dan said in a disappointed tone. “It’s like they’re not even taking us seriously!” “Awww, cheer up Dan!” Pinkie said. “This way we don’t have to besiege the store with high explosives!” “But I wanted to besiege the store with high explosives!” Dan whined. Pinkie put a gentle hand on Dan’s shoulder. “Well, at least this way there’s less chance of us hurting Couchy 2.” Dan rolled his eyes. “I guess so… Fine!” he huffed out. “I guess we’ll just sneak in, grab the couch, and sneak out!” Pinkie nodded satisfactorily.  “I just wish I could see the look on their stupid faces when they realize the couch is gone,” Dan grumbled. “Hey, Dan?” Pinkie said. “Yeah, Goofball?” “… How are we going to sneak out while carrying an entire couch?” “Uh…” Dan frowned as he thought about this. “I uh… didn’t think about that part…” he admitted sheepishly. “Oooo! Oooo! I have an idea!” Pinkie exclaimed. Dan sighed and smacked a palm against his face. “This oughta be good…” “We sneak into the bedding section, cut eye holes into the sheets, and then wear them!” Pinkie said with a grin. “Then we’ll tell anyone there that we’re ghosts and Couchy 2 is haunted! I bet they just let us walk out with it!” Dan dragged his hand down his face revealing a sour expression. “Pinkie, there are bad ideas and then there are your ideas!” “What’s the difference?” Pinkie asked. “Well… let’s just say it’s a good thing you’re adorable,” Dan replied. “Awww! Gee, thanks!” Pinkie replied with a smile. “Hold, up… something’s coming…” Dan said. The couple ducked low in their car as a van down the street sat at a stoplight. Dan quickly raised his binoculars and grinned. “It’s a Salvation Armed Forces van.” Dan put down the binoculars and turned to Pinkie with a toothy grin. “Pinkie, are you pondering what I’m pondering?” Pinkie tapped her cheek thoughtfully. “I think so, Dan. But if koalas aren’t really bears, what other secrets are they hiding from the world?!” “What? NO YOU STU—UUHG! I was thinking we can jump the driver of that van and disguise ourselves as Salvation Armed Forces employees!” Dan cried as he flung his hands out emphatically. Pinkie gasped. “It has violence and disguises! That way everyone is happy!” She paused briefly and added. “Uh… Except for our victims, of course.” Dan chuckled. “Well, they don’t count…” He quickly opened his car door and jumped out, baseball bat in hand. “Let’s roll!” “Best couple's outing to pick out a couch, ever!” Pinkie cried.