Griffin the Griffin

by BlackWing


Rounds (55)

Rounds

Mrrrrhmrh, chocolate pudding........... I hate that hedgehog........... come on everypony, smile smile smile...... uh?

I opened my eyes slowly, the rising sun coming in through my room's window. I shifted my neck, relishing the satisfying pops that came from it. I moved my right wing, popping it's joints as well, then the left...... which didn't move.

"Huh?" I felt movement by my side, rhythmic breathing. I turned to see Gilda lying there next to me, starting to get roused by my movement. She stretched herself out, rolled towards me, taking a bit of pressure off my wing. Her eyes still half lidded from drowsiness, she began drawing circles in my chest feathers with her claw.

"Morning." She said. Then, I realized I had a bit of a headache. I brought my claw to my head, then suddenly remembered the events of last night. The drinking, Trixie's show, Gilda and I banging........ oh shit!

"Gilda...... did we?"

"Uh huh." She nodded and smirked.

"Oh.... well.... that's..... good?"

"Yes. That's good..... have you never done it before?"

"No... you're my first..."

"Oh.... right.... you were...."

"A loser...."

"Right...."

"So, have you? I'm not..."

"Well, you're the first male." If I had a drink, I would have spat it out. I immediately felt sober, and just sat up in bed. She began laughing.

"Gilda, how old are you?"

"22."

"And I'm 19. Which means I'm with an older woman. I am okay with this." I smiled. She sat up too.

"So, Grif.... what are human mating rituals like?" She was suddenly interested.

"Well, not that I know from experience but, normally both get drunk, and then the guy takes advantage of the girl. So, pretty much the same as what we did, except the last part was backwards." I began giggling stupidly, and she followed, which soon broke into an all out fit of laughter.

"Well, what we did wasn't the normal griffin thing. Then again, we're not normal griffins." She replied.

"So, what is the normal griffin thing?"

"Well, usually the male goes the the female's father, and challenges him to a duel. Not to the death, just, till one gives, although certain particularly stubborn fools won't give in and sometimes it goes too far, it normally doesn't happen unless there's another reason, like bad blood between families."

"Okay, and then?"

"Well, if the father wins, he can deny the suitor, or he can say that he 'respects his courage' which is the go ahead. Then, the pair go off to a private location, where they fight. Whoever loses takes the submissive position. If the girl wins, the guy lays down, and she can choose to walk away, if she wants. On rare occasions, the female goes and fights the male's mother, and then the same thing happens for the reverse gender."

"So, basically 19th century courtship based on dominance and submission, except it goes both ways, combined with a gladiator competition. Well then, if we find your dad, I guess I'll have to beat the stuffing out of him, and in the event we ever go to earth, you can kill BOTH my parents." More laughing.

"Hey, quit the racket...." I heard Trixie call from the next room. "You two were up all night making noise so I didn't get any sleep, and now the sun is barely up, I have a hangover, and you two won't shut up!"

Gilda and I both blushed.

"Trixie is cranky when she's hung over." My partner declared.

"Thin walls, I'll have to get Steelhorn to do something about that." I replied.

"Then you maaaaay want to give him this." She pulled a bottle of scotch from under the bed.

"Swiped from the bar?"

"You know it."

"That's my girl."





"Alright everyone, we're going to stop in at the village, make sure everyone is set up properly, then head to Bitsburg to get Trixie a new leg, and hopefully find a doctor. We've gone FAR too long without, and I'm not having anyone else get hurt on my watch. Once we've got that, we'll head north into the western part of Gem Fido, and hit up a warren there."

"Sounds good to me." Nadene replied.

"Yeah, this plastic thing sucks. I mean, we were in CANTERLOT, and all they gave me was a cheap painted hunk of junk." Trixie scowled.

"Exactly, they should have given you something in chrome, that way even if it was useless you could still look awesome." Trixie facehoofed.

"Well, in the gear capitol of the world, between the locals and Steelhorn, I'm sure we could find something more fitting." Maria added.

"Aye, I been meaning ta take a look at that. Who knows? Maybe I could make some bits offhand while I wait for the ship to sell?" The minotaur pondered as he jumped down to the top deck.

"Face it Steel, we're probably going to be renting the Possibility off you till you die of old age."

"Bah! I'm not a day over 60! I've still got a good 80 years left!" He bellowed. Right, minotaurs live just as long as griffins do.

"Well, let's get going then."





After a couple days at full speed, we arrived at the island we dropped the villagers off on. We had been getting weekly reports of their progress, and all seemed to be going well. A pair of griffins, the village chief and another, flew up to meet us.

"Ahoy!" I called merrily, glad to see that they were in good health.

"Glad to see you have returned. Welcome to the still under construction village of does-not-yet-have-a-name." The elder replied.

"Well then, I guess I'm right on time for the naming ceremony. We brought stuff." I passed him an inventory of supplies we had gotten from Canterlot for our services, things used to help speed the construction of the village, and a few other special orders, meaning bows, arrows, nets, and harpoons. Considering that this was, in essence, a maritime/ island nation I was founding, pretty much, they're gonna need to fish, and I've seen some pretty big ones when we flew over.

"Alright, let's get going."



"Aha, so, you built it on the cliff side. Protection from attack, yet easy to reach if you can fly. Near the shore so you can fish on the beach head at the base of the cliff, good, good. You sure know what you're doing with the placement at least."

"Comes from being threatened mostly. We know all too well how to make someplace hard to attack." The younger griffin replied.

"Agreed. Well, let's see what you have set up here."


Touring the village, they already had a town center set up, a stockpile for city goods, a very large basin had been dug out to hold fish and other aquatic food they found, and they could also breed the fish within. A couple hut houses, with farms for rice, potatoes, and a variety of other things had been set up and were being worked. For fruit, they could just go into the jungle.



"Well well, if it isn't Whiplash. Still trying to become a guard?" I poked the pansy pegasus guard from before when I saw him wandering through the village.

"Hmmph, you remembered my name? Should I feel honoured? I mean, you're a big shot now, hanging out with the princesses, going to the royal wedding." He shot back.

"Quit being a smartass, that's my job. Anyway, what brings you here? Don't tell me you're still trying to be a guard?"

"Nah. I mean, I always wanted to be one, but, I'm just not cut out for it. I learned how to fight properly from the zebras, but, my heart just wasn't really in it. So, I went to turn in a resignation. Soon as I did that, they gave me a change of orders. Turns out, I'm a diplomat now. Word about your little escapades got around quick, and since the zebras know and trust me, and I speak the language, I was picked to play peacekeeper between them and the new arrivals. Promote, peace, understanding, and harmony, organize trading, stuff like that."

"Well, good on ya. By the way, how did you find out about me and the princesses?" He showed me a photo of the three of us standing next to Discord's statue.

"So, you get a copy and I still don't have one? What a ripoff."

"Actually, Shutterfly is my second cousin. She printed a couple private ones for the family. Nopony believed her when she said the famous captain of the Griffin pirates was pals with the princesses, so she just HAD to show us all up."

"Figures. Well, do a good job. You all seem to have everything taken care of."

Continuing through the settlement, seeing griffins and ponies hard at work under the direction of a unicorn stallion wearing a hard hat, who seemed to be the boss, I decided to give him a bit of a scare.

"You there, supervisor!" He jumped when he saw me.

"U..uhuhuh...yeah?" Whose afraid of the big bad griffin? You are!

"Let me see those plans." He quickly passed me an overview of how the village would be set up. I noticed a distinct lack of something.

"Tsk tsk, really? Come on, what were you thinking with that one? Well, it's fine I suppose...... WHAT? What do you call this?" I pointed to a blank spot on the map.

"Umm....."

"I call it not-a-lighthouse. Seriously, a village on the edge of a cliff, how is anyone supposed to find it? In fact, how is anyone supposed to not crash into it? If boats come by at night or during a storm, it would be disastrous. Fix this!"

"Y-y-y-yes sir!" And then he bounded off to revise his plan.

"So Grif, is the lighthouse really that important?" Nadene asked.

"Of course! Not only is it a lighthouse, but it will also act as a watch tower. In fact, instead of the regular light, I intend to have Steelhorn build one of the laser cannons on it. Specifically train someone to use it. That way, it'll act as a spot light and a defense mechanism. It wouldn't be good to be unprepared. Even with the bows and arrows, they could be overwhelmed if there's enough attackers. This thing would be a giant deterrent to attackers, as well as a guide for boats."


After saying goodbye to the village which was still under construction, and giving a couple insights on what they should get set up, and telling them we'd return inside of a month to name the place, we got back on board and headed to Bitsburg to hopefully find a doctor.



After taking some time for travel, we arrived at the iconic steampunk city. The Hindentanic was back up, having been hauled back and rebuilt. Apparently they found what was wrong with it, and got it working again. I still didn't trust it. With a name like that, it's doomed to fail, but, oh well. Some ponies just have way more money than they should. We moored at the dock, no longer wanted, it felt kind of good to walk into town without being stopped by guards. At the same time, a number of ponies still cowered. After all, a large number of cats, griffins, a couple of dogs, and a young dragon, walking through town armed to the teeth makes an impression. We all fanned out and looked around.


"After four hours, nothing. Well, we'll search for the rest of the day. Maybe we're going about this wrong..... and look at that, someone with a mechanical wing."

"Hey, you got the time?"

"Ja, it's half past waaaahahaaaa!" The red pegasus mare with blue mane jumped back.

"I'm not that ugly am I? I think I'm fairly good looking myself....." I blew on my claws.

"Oh, no, It's not that, I just wasn't......" She had a German, (Or, is it Germane?) accent.

"Yeah yeah, big scary griffin, mind if I ask a question? Then I'll be on my way."

"Oh, well, okay." She seemed nervous.

"Not meaning to offend, but I see you have a fake wing."

"Yes.... I lost it in, an accident." She hung her head.

"It looks pretty good, where'd you get it done?" She looked up at me.

"Why do you want to know?" Trixie riding on my back popped her left hoof off, waved it around, then put it back on.

"I... I see. Well, I suppose it couldn't hurt to show you." Trixie and I followed her back to a kind of run down workshop, with gears and smokestacks.

"Ahh, Furnace, you are back! I hope you brought customers with you this time!" A harsh voice came from under a pile of gears and such, same accent. Now, I can appreciate a good mess, but this was just ridiculous.

"I have father, a unicorn who needs a new hoof." Out stepped a fairly old looking unicorn.... or, was it a pegasus? Wait, what? Mechanical left and right wings, left hind leg, right front leg, eyepiece, a backpack, and wires going to his horn? Yep, okay, wait, there is the base of the wing there, just, the rest is mechanical. Now I'm really confused, and at the same time, I now understand completely why his workshop is a mess. It's as filled with gears, cogs, and wires as he is. He had a white beard coming from his chin, light beige colour, oily black mane, smells like he hasn't showered in months......

"Were? I do not see un unicorn in need of a hoof." Trixie pulled her fake one off again, to make a point.

"What is wrong with it? It works, does it not?"

"It's garbage. I mean, sure it works but..... just look at it. It belongs in a dump!" I replied sternly. Suddenly, he got a glimmer in his eye.

"What do you see around you?" He asked me.

"I see a workshop, filled with opportunity."

"And what is this?" He held up a doodlemabob of some kind.

"I HAVE NO IDEA!" I replied with enthusiasm.

"Neither do I!" He returned, then began to chuckle.

"Finally! Somepony with an appreciation of machinery!" I take it he's like the soup nazi, except with his machines. Better butter him up.

"Well, considering I live on the finest piece of engineering this side of the multiverse, I had better." His daughter face hoofed.

"Ah, but, where are mein manners? I am Geirmund Freud." (Gearmund. His cutie mark is a gear. Duh.) "Ze finest inventor, tinkerer, und surgeon in Equestria!"

"I'm Griffin. I'm not sure if you have heard of me before....."

"Ah! You are ze one making such a mess all over ze world! Your reputation precedes you." He gave a bit of a bow. "I am honoured zat you would visit mein humble shop. Zis is Frauline Furnance, mein daughter und assistant."

"Don't mind him, he's eccentric." Frauline said to nobody in particular.

"I am not eccentric, I am a genius." Surprisingly, both myself and Geirmund said this at the same time.

"Oh, wait, who were you talking about?" We asked her.

"Nnrgh, NEVERMIND!" And then she stormed out.

"What's her problem?" Trixie asked.

"Ahh, well, when I say I am the finest inventor and tinkerer in Equestria, it really is true, but, unfortunately, not many ponies have need for my inventions. Why have a steel hoof with a dozen different functions when you can have a light plastic one that doesn't weigh you down?"

"Because the steel one is awesome, won't break, and can help you in day to day activities?" I offered.

"Exactly! Would you believe they shot down my idea of having a can opener in the prosthetic? 'Just use your teeth' they said."

"Well 'they' clearly have no sense of imagination."

"Oh brother." Trixie face hoofed with her fake leg, being held in her real one.

"What about surgeon?" I asked a little nervously. One does not simply become a surgeon half assed, nor do you simply stop doing it.

"Well, it wasn't my special talent, I really had a flare for machinery, so, at one point, I removed a patient's leg bone and replaced it with stainless steel. He wasn't too happy about it, although I can't see why. It won't break ever again now, I did him a favour! But, anyvay, that's how I lost my medical license."

"Freakin dumbass. Who wouldn't want a metal leg?"

"What does that have to do with Furnace storming out?" Trixie got us back on topic.

"Well, after I was discredited, things took a turn for the worse. Not many bits coming in these days. Few ponies would have a 'crazy' pony be their doctor, or replace their limbs. She was upset that you were, 'encouraging' my bad habits." He hung his head.

"She means well, she just want's to take care of me. I'm not a young colt anymore. I hardly have the bits to keep my shop open."

"Well, guess what. We're pirates. We love bad habits, and we specialize in crazy. Having something broke in your noggin is almost a requirement to join us." Suddenly, he became stern.

"NO! Nein! I will not join your crew. I know all about what you are doing, helping ze griffins und ze diamond dogs, and zat is fine, but I am not coming with you! I have my life here. My workshop. My daughter. My.... beloved......."

'Aww hell, he won't leave cuz his wife's grave is here or something like that.'

"Will you at least....."

"NO! Go away!" And then he pulled a lever, and a giant red boot came down from the ceiling and kicked us out onto the street. He threw Trixie's leg after us, which bonked her on the head.

"Damnit."

"So, what do we do now?"

"We go back in, and we drag him out."

"Isn't that kidnapping?" She tilted her head to ponder. I mimicked her motion, smiled, and pointed at my face.

"Pirate." She facehoofed at her own ignorance.

"Right. Let's get him." She said with a huff. And then I broke the door down.

Guuh, sorry it's been so long since I updated. I've just had a lot on my plate. Summer (or far enough through spring to call it that), so family wants to do stuff, which is great, except I'm also going to college over the summer, and that, while not hard, takes up a lot of my 'pony time'.