//------------------------------// // Page 36 // Story: Broken Bindings // by anonpencil //------------------------------// ~*~ I want to do something for you, but I don’t know what. I don't know what I can do. I want to reach into your mind and soothe whatever is troubling you today. You deserve that, for not throwing me away, rejecting me, for not hating me. If there’s a tremble in your touch, I want to clasp it in mine until it goes still. If you stutter, I want to press your lips shut and tell you that you don’t have to speak. And if you feel afraid, I want to envelop you with my hooves, until you’re hidden away from it all. I just want you to feel happy, safe, cared for. Because, right now, you are. I want you to feel these things I never felt. I would sing to you, were I there. I would sit beside you and laugh with you and just… share this day. I know I’ve been able to share pieces of myself with you, and that you hold my book in your grasp, but I can’t share the world with you, can’t share in your daily experience. And in a way, that hurts me. It hurts me to not be able to help you, even if that help would just be to be another living, breathing thing beside you. Even if that help would simply be to make you feel not alone today. I wish I could do more. I wish I could be real for you. But I’m… this. I can only write you so many riddles, put down so many songs, so many stories. I can only paint you so many little moving drawings. My imprisonment here isn’t fair to me, but it also isn’t fair to you. I could do so much more if I wasn’t like this. I could make sure you weren’t lonely, if you are alone. If you’re not, I would be proud to be counted among your friends, meet those you care about, learn why you care about them the way you do. I could share you, share your hopes, dreams, loves, hatreds. I could cheer you on when you need it, fight away the dark when it tries to consume you. In that way, no matter what, I could make sure you were never alone again. It’s not fair that I can’t do this for you. If I could fix it, I would. I used to be good at fixing things. Or at least trying to. Perhaps… I can create something to help you calm yourself if you feel upset, but I don’t even know if you need that right now. Well, maybe you can use it later, come back to this page when you need me… need it. I can try, even if you end up moving past it with hardly a glance. I’ll do that much for you. If I could take deep breaths with you to ease your tension, I would, but here. Try breathing with this. It's a little rough, but I think you'll get the idea. Breathe In as it grows, out as it shrinks. Just in & out. Breathe in time with it when it moves. I can even pretend to breathe along with you. Just in… then out… I can remember what it was like. To breathe. I remember when my body was my own. Whole.