The Wheel and the Butterfly
A Dan X Pinkie Pie saga
Part 6 Pinkie & Dan Vs. Camping
Bonus (Dan’s & Pinkie’s Solution List)
*****
Solutions list (with annotations by Dan)
A. Assault (usually shot down by Pinkie) >:(
B. Bees: Requires having bees, and bee keeper suits on hand
C. Cat: Throw Mr. Mumbles at problem (usually ends with Mr. Mumbles clawing my face! Why, Mr. Mumbles, why?!)
D. Dogs: Angry attack dog(s) (requires angry attack dog or dogs).
E. Explosives. (yes!)
F. Friendship (wanted “fire”, but Pinkie won the coin toss)
G. Grapes of Wrath (throw grapes and/or one or more copies of The Grapes of Wrath)
H. Hide: (and hope problem goes away!)
I. Ignite (still managed to get fire on the list)
J. Joust: Challenge problem to a knightly jousting match. (I knew going to all those ren fairs would pay off)
K. Kumquat (don’t ask.)
L. (Combustible) Lemons, courtesy of one of our friendly Casa Paradisio mad scientist in apartment 5.
M. Montage! (works with surprisingly frequency, especially if Pinkie sings.)
N. Nap: Sleep on it and see if either of us still cares afterwards.
O. Opossum (Pinkie just thought the word was funny; requires Opossum or Opossums to throw)
P. Pickle Barrel (seriously, don’t ask)
Q. Quartet: Distract target with Barbershop Quartet routine (requires Chris and Elise or two homeless people who can hit the low notes)
R. RAMPAGE! (let’s just brake stuff and see if that solves things)
S. Shark (requires shark and shark tank)
T. Tabasco Sauce (a squirt gun full of hot sauce works wonders!)
U. Understanding: Attempt to see things from the problems perspective and work towards a resolution with them (Damnit, Pinkie!)
V. Voltage: Tasers are legal in most places, conveniently enough.
W. Why?! (question the cosmos and/or the powers that be that the first 22 plans were dismissed or didn’t work)
X. Xussar Iryston: Capture problem and mail it to Xussar Iryston (convenient, as almost no one knows where or even what this is)
Y. Yellow: Beat problem with phone books (finally, they’re good for something again!)
Z. Zeitgeist: Burn everything & get the %&*! out of town (Word chosen because it sounds awesome and it’s hecka hard to find something that begins with Z)
Just a little something as I continue to work on the next chapter.
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3466873
Hortense may sort of count, but I intentionally left the line to "a long time" which may only be like.. 2 years or less, I suppose.
To your point though, he was pretty much utterly rejected by Hortense and sort of rationalized there was still hope.
I can't really imagine him being able to do the same with Pinkie if things went south. Especially since she's so ingrained into his life at this point.
Edit: Also Becky, but that never went anywhere, and he chose revenge over a potential relationship with her.
I can't think of anyone else that was potentially romantically interested in Dan. His anger management teacher just used him for revenge.
3466024 Yes and no, in the sense of technically and not yet. Technically because Dan got what he wanted and 4 and a half months less jail time, so... scoreboard. Also, not yet because it feels like issues with that character are yet to be resolved. Which reminds me: Hey, justice4243! If you plan on doing character resolutions like you sorta did with Elise's parents and Colby, then I really hope you worked Fake Dan in there. One can only imagine the chaotic clash with Pinkie now on Dan's side.
3466024 And by unresolved issues, I mean the fact that no Dan Vs. writer should be satisfied with letting someone off looking like they can get better revenge than Dan. Hell, Dan almost started WWIII because of a family of squirrels.
3467238
Oh, there are plans for Dan*, alright.
*Impostor.
3467272 Ooooh, yes. If insane Pinkie is pleased, then maniacal laughter is required! Muahahahahaha!
3466941Here's hoping he tricks Pinkie into marrying him, then has kids, then tricks someone into marrying his KIDS..... then Dan can finally sell his car.
Oh man.
Oh Lord.
OH SWEET ZOMBIE BILLY MAIZE! MAKE IT STOP!!
3467951
You know, this has me thinking. Pinkie has put up with an awful lot living with Dan, but he kinda deserves some recognition for managing to live with her, as well.
3467272 yo author man can i ask of you to help me solve some of my insucrities about part 7 and if anything is to spoilerly can you pm me it instead
will there be more parts or wil it just end / sequal after part 7 (i ask this mainly because i dont want this masterpiece to suddenly stop as soon as the ship actually gets shippy as many storys ive read have done)
(not really a question but imma put this out here anyway) I SWEAR IF WE HALF TO WAIT ANOTHER PART FOR THEM TO LOCK LIPS I WILL BURN DOWN A ORPHANAGE FULL OF KITTENS
so with pinkie living with dan is pinkies apartment just empty all the time or does she not have it anymore
did you see the blog post that said that song lyrics not from hasbro or free domain are not supposed to be used anymore even if you credit the artist (just saying that so you dont get into trouble)
3467973
The story will certainly not end on part 7.
She made arrangements with the landlord to move out early. I considered having this in the story, but nixed it because I couldn't really figure out how to make it funny or relevant aside from tying up a loose end.
Wasn't aware of that update. Bummer.
I'll clean up the chapters with them later and probably do links to my Google docs for those chapters if people want to get songs with the chapters.
The ice skating chapter in particular would be pretty, erm...boring? without music.
3467997well thx for the knoledge im am extremly pleased now
also yeah it would be boring but i had to tell you so you dont get into trouble man ... sorry
also will part seven finally be the one were the story finally gets it on so to speak (not the perverted kind mind you)
3468027
Alright, that last one I'm keeping a secret.
Though, keep in mind that I have a Pinkie Pie Promise to keep.
3468034ok i understand
also FOREVERRRRR!!!!!
Alright, by "later", I apparently meant "now".
Take THAT Roadtrip chapters.
I have linked to the Google doc versions of these which have fancy features like better title headings.
3468756
I'll change it. It appears I grabbed the Hungarian spelling, so it's sorta accurate in that it means the same thing and is still a word taken from another language, but not the common one.
Also, yes.
Edit: Done. Thanks!
The solution to spiders is I and Y. Make a torch and burn them out.
I like solution G.
to be fair, its not a bad list.
3996060
And peppermint oil. Spiders hate that.
R. RAMPAGE! (let’s just brake stuff and see if that solves things)
1. Break.
I can help you with that;
Yes, I googled it and it came up with that.
Also, maybe you can replace F with Fifty Shades of Grey
lol i love this list
Portal reference found. Assume clapping position. Clapping executed.
Dan's List: some clever substitutions!
X: xylophone... but it only works when you get your enemy to try and trick you with it. Then you play badly and they rush in to show you how to do it.
Y: Yak. Drop one on your enemies. They're heavy. And having the power to drop yaks on enemies is simply the most awesome attack possible. Even better than steamrollers.
Z: Zebra. Get an evil enchantress from the Everfree Forest to gobble up your enemies in a big tasty stew after she puts them in trances with her evil dances.
The zeitgeist of Pinkie and Dan.
Truly the spirit of the age.
4918643 Dragon ball z abridged reference there.
Zeitgeist ... don't know bout the English interpretation of this german idiom but I would say that 'Zerstörung' would be way more fitting because that is what is dan would do (Zerstörung= destruction)
5720505
I don't know. That plan certainly seems to capture the spirit/mood of the show "Dan Vs.", so it's oddly appropriate.
Hahahaah, a glorious list well done, nice job
I hear urine works as a great addition to this.
(That is a reference)
If life gives you lemons... DONT MAKE LEMONADE!!! SQUEEZE THE LEMONS BACK INTO LIFE'S EYES!!! I'M GOING TO BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN WITH COMBUSTIBLE LEMONS!!! AFTER I turn your blood into GASOLINE! AND THEN! I'M GOING TO RELEASE AN ARMY OF MUTANT MANTIS MEN ON YOUR FAMILY!!! GO SUCK ON YOUR LEMONS!!!
I just noticed R had brake not break