Part 10 Dan & Pinkie Vs. Interspecies Relationship: Chapter 89 Dan Vs. Loneliness
The Wheel and the Butterfly
A Dan X Pinkie Pie saga
Part 10 Dan & Pinkie Vs. Interspecies Relationship
Chapter 89 Dan Vs. Loneliness
-ooooooo-
Dan fell to the floor as he felt himself being pulled into the mass of Pinkie Pies, the pink mare herself occupying the focus of his thoughts. Though, given the circumstances, it was difficult to think of anything else. He felt arms and hooves reach out for him. The mad and voracious chorus of, “Dan! Fun! Dan! Fun! Dan! Fun!” became deafening as he was dragged into the middle of the mass that would no doubt tear him to shreds in a violent orgy of the pink ponies fighting over him. To his surprise, he realized the arms and eager teeth of the ponies seemed to be missing and slipping off of him as something continued to pull him through the middle and out the back of the mass. He felt himself being dragged by the pants leg across the smooth, concrete floor and looked up to see a single Pinkie Pie galloping at an incredible speed away from the group.
The pink mare dug her hooves into the floor to stop herself. Dan slid across the floor and up onto the back of the pink pony. He quickly attempted to steady himself on the earth pony’s back.
“You stupid… out of your mind… crazy… insanely sexy…” Pinkie erupted in a growl of frustration, “EERRRGGGGGGGGERRRRRRRR! WHAT THEY HAY WHERE YOU THINKING?!”
Dan held onto his girlfriend’s mane as if his life depended on it, mostly because it did. “I was trying to be noble!” Dan cried.
Pinkie broke into a gallop once more. “Well…BE NOBLE IN A WAY THAT DOESN’T RESULT IN DEATH BY SNU-SNU…” she paused, “OR death at ALL, preferably…”
Pinkie galloped down the corridor as the herd of pink look likes followed with the same crazed fervor as before.
“Dan! Fun! Dan! Fun! Dan! Fun! Dan!”
“Dan! Fun! Dan! Fun! Dan! Fun! Dan! Fun! Dan!”
“Fun! Dan! Fun! Dan! Fun! Dan! Fun! Dan! Fun!”
“Dan! Fun! Dan! Fun! Dan! Fun! Dan! Fun! Dan! Fun! Dan! Fun! Dan!”
“Dan! Fun! Dan! Fun! Dan!”
“Fun! Dan! Fun! Dan! Fun! Dan! Fun! Dan! Fun! Dan! Fun!”
“I was thinking of you!” Dan protested.
“Yes you were, and it was VERY sweet, and when this is all over you’re going to get mad smoochees and favors like you wouldn’t BELIEVE, but right now I need to keep you alive for that to happen!”
Dan paused, “…What kind of favors?”
Pinkie turned her head and smirked as she flashed Dan a bemused look, “Do you even have to ask?!”
Dan grinned, “I must say, you seem remarkably coherent considering the last few hours.”
“All the apples and horse tranquilizers started to wear off by the time Chris started on his second Pizza Pocket and junk food stuffed pizza,” Pinkie explained.
-oooooo-
“Pa…Pinkie!” Chris exclaimed from the floor with giant, saucer sized pupils.
“Yeah, Chris?” Pinkie asked as she squinted into open space with a pained expression and rubbed a forehoof against her forehead.
“I’ve… I’ve done it!” Chris explained. “I’ve reached Foodvana!”
“Can you taste anything?” Pinkie asked.
“Yes, wonderful things!” Chris replied. With a loud ‘Slurp!’, he ran his tongue over the floor. “My God, it’s full of bacon!”
“Huh…” Pinkie replied. “You know… this isn’t as much fun as to watch as it is to experience… I think I’ll track down Dan…”
“Tell him…” Chris began, “… tell him… Bacongri-La does exist… and… and… that he owes me twenty bucks…”
Pinkie paused, “Because of a bet, or because he just owes you twenty dollars?”
Chris paused, “Uh…Tell him Bacongri-La exists and that he owes me two thousand-five hundred-and twenty bucks…”
-oooooo-
Pinkie rounded a corner of the complex, pulling a tight turn that resulted in her galloping over the wall itself for a bit before returning towards the floor. The clones behind her slipped and crashed into the wall.
“Still,” Dan continued, “you’re also trying to save me instead of jump me, that’s a big improvement!”
“Priorities,” Pinkie replied simply. “I mean, I don’t think I could rock your world and fight off a dozen copies of myself at the same time.”
“Uh… fair enough,” Dan said. “Where are we going anyhow?”
“I have no idea!” Pinkie replied cheerfully.
-oooooo-
“What… what happened?” Elise exclaimed as she watched the horde of pink ponies exit the room and scramble down the hall. “Why’d they leave?!”
Twilight smiled as she tried to normalize her breathing, “Huffff… puffff…Pa…Pinkie showed up.”
“Oh?” Elise asked.
Twilight nodded, “Sha…huff… She slipped in with the rest at some point… puff… I directed Dan to stand near her when I took down the shield…”
“Oh… so Dan’s safe…” Elise said. Wow, I can’t believe how relieved that makes me…
Twilight frowned, “Until Pinkie hits a dead end.”
Elise paused. She walked out of the store room and into the main hall, directing the mirror to follow her. She pressed a few buttons on her remote and the sound of large metal doors coming down echoed all over the complex.
“Huh? What was that?” Twilight asked.
“I closed off some of the complex, the main hall is now completely circular,” Elise explained.
Twilight furrowed her brow as she stared at Elise, “Wait… why didn’t you do that when we were being chased?!” Twilight said in a somewhat demanding tone. “We could have at least ran around a little bit longer…” Twilight mused.
“YOU TRY navigating an underground complex where everything looks the same while slightly drunk, being chased by a horde of Pinkie Pies, operating a remote, and being yelled at by Dan!”
“Uh… fair enough,” Twilight replied.
“Come on!” Elise cried as she ran down the hallway, the mirror following behind.
“I uh… don’t have a choice, remember?” Twilight said.
“Oh… right…” Elise replied as she glanced at the ceiling.
“Where we headed, anyhow?” Twilight asked.
“I’m going to retrieve my weapons and stock up on a few non-lethal items to take down the Pinkie clones,” Elise explained.
“Non-lethal? Why should that matter? They’re just clones,” Twilight said.
“Do you think you could easily kill something if it looked like one of your best friends?” Elise asked.
“Uh, surprisingly I have quite a bit of experience there,” Twilight replied. “Especially with things that look like Pinkie,” she said as she motioned out with a forehoof. “Turns out it’s not a problem for me.”
Elise paused, “Wow… I think even I’m in awe of your emotional disconnect here…”
“Uh… thanks?” Twilight said in an unsure tone with an expression to match. “Anyhow, a while ago you had no issues with using the Pinkie clones in experiments so…”
“But that’s totally different!” Elise replied.
Twilight cocked an eyebrow, “You mean they’d only mostly be assured a gruesome and bizarre death before they exploded instead of assuredly receiving a quick death before exploding?”
“Uh… okay, good point. Guess I’ll grab the MAC 10s…”
Twilight nodded then knitted her eyebrows, “What’s a MAC 10?”
“A compact bullet hose,” Elise explained as she ran into a room and began reaching for firearms as well as her sword and a few other melee weapons.
“…What’s a bullet hose?” Twilight asked.
Elise grinned as she grabbed a large, rectangular pistol, “You’ll see…” she purred.
-ooo-
Dan continued to hold tightly to his girlfriend’s mane as he glanced behind them, “I think we lost them…”
Pinkie slowed her galloping down to a canter. “Guess they don’t handle running on walls as well as me…”
Dan glanced down at the ground as the two made their way through the complex, “What’s with all this bubbling black stuff… and why did all the doors close just a bit ago?!”
“How the hay am I supposed to know?!” Pinkie replied. “What’s with all the questions!?” she said irritably.
“Uh… you feeling, okay, goofball?” Dan asked, unused to girlfriend snapping at him.
Pinkie sighed, “No… In fact, I’m having a massive hangover from that thing YOU shot me up with…” Pinkie said in a slightly accusatory tone.
“Hey, you were going to jump me again first chance you got!” Dan protested.
“Uh… okay, guess I don’t really have a response for that…” Pinkie replied, “Any-the-how, between that and the crazy amount of unhealthy food I’ve eaten in the last couple hours…”
“Don’t forget condiments straight out of jars and bottles,” Dan reminded.
Pinkie sighed, “… I won’t… Like I was saying… I feel Awful, with a capital ‘A’ and a bold and italicized ‘ful’!”
“Well, at least you seem to have your urges under control…” Dan mused.
Pinkie shook her head, “Only because I’m a bit distracted with the whole, ‘running for our lives’ thing… well… mostly yours, anyways…”
“Wait… you mean to tell me even with a hangover and your weight in apples and junk food in your stomach you STILL can’t get me out of your mind?”
Pinkie nodded weakly.
“I guess I should be flattered,” Dan replied.
Pinkie giggled, “Hehehe…What can I say? You’re a stud.”
Dan paused, “…Stud, huh…?”
“…You say something?” Pinkie asked.
“Uh… just weighing my options, I guess…” Dan replied.
“Oh? What do you…” Pinkie paused as she looked forward. “Oh! Hi Elise! Hi Twilight!” she said with a smile as she ran up to and past her marooned hair friend and the mirror that displayed the purple alicorn.
“Pinkie!” Elise called out. “Wait!”
“Can’t wait!” Pinkie shouted back. “Kinda running for Dan’s life!”
“Uh, Goofball…?” Dan interjected. “If we passed them that means we’re running in a circle…”
“Huh… I guess we are…”
“Yes, and it’s just that… well we haven’t seen your clones in a bit… so…”
“I’m not sure I follow…” Pinkie said as she rounded a corner and…
“Fun?”
“Dan?”
The corners of Dan’s and Pinkie’s lips suddenly fell as if dragged towards the ground by a massive gravitational force. There was a brief pause as the two locked eyes with Pinkie’s clones.
“Pinkie…” Dan whispered.
“Yes, Dan?” Pinkie whispered back.
“If we stand perfectly still do you think they’ll notice us?”
“... Well…they’re my clones and not clones of dinosaurs out of a movie… so … no…”
“FUN!”
“DAN!”
“Aaaand, there you go!” Pinkie cried as she turned around and broke into a gallop.
“Dan! Fun! Dan! Fun! Dan! Fun! Dan! Fun! Dan! Fun! Dan! Fun! Dan!”
“Dan! Fun! Dan! Fun! Dan!”
“Fun! Dan! Fun! Dan! Fun! Dan! Fun! Dan! Fun! Dan! Fun! Dan!”
“Dan! Fun! Dan! Fun! Dan! Fun! Dan!”
“Dan! Fun! Dan! Dan! Fun! Dan! Fun! Dan! Fun!”
“Dan! Fun! Dan! Fun! Fun! Dan! Fun! Dan! Fun!”
“Pinkie!” Elise called as she ran to catch up with the pink mare and Dan, mirror still following. “Wait!”
“Still being chased, Elise!” Pinkie cried.
Elise pulled out a pair of rectangular shaped, automatic pistols, “I know, get behind me.”
“Oh, this ain’t going to be pretty…” Dan uttered as Pinkie slowed to a halt behind Elise and the mirror.
“Dan! Fun! Dan! Dan! Fun! Dan! Fun! Dan! Fun!”
“Fun! Dan! Fun! Dan! Fun! Dan! Fun!”
“Dan! Fun! Dan! Fun! Dan! Fun! Dan! Dan! Fun! Dan! Fun! Dan!”
Elise pointed her weapons at the group of charging ponies and opened fire.
‘Dakkadakkadakkadakkadakkdakkadakkadakkadakkadakkadakkadakkadakkadakka!’
Elise weapons erupted in a torrent of bullets and a cascade of spent shells. The bullets slammed into the pink ponies, bringing them to the ground as pink ooze erupted from their wounds covering the concrete floors and walls.
Twilight wearily stood up on her hooves. Her horn began to glow purple as she focused her eyes on a single pinkie clone. A bolt of purple energy flew from her horn and out the mirror striking one of the clones and ending it with a loud, messy ‘POP!’
Dan cringed, “We’ll that’s a few hours spend hitting my head against something solid if I want to avoid screaming myself to sleep…”
“Awww, but your night screams are so cute!” Pinkie said with a smile. “And they result in extra snuggles…”
Twilight took a couple deep breaths before returning to a prone position amongst her books and spells, “Husssssphhhhuuu…Bullet hose, huh?” she said as she looked up at Elise.
Elise, likewise, breathed in and out to catch her breath, “Huff… puff… Yep…” she said with a small smile.
Dan dismounted Pinkie and stepped to the, now, rather sticky floor. “Does anyone have any ideas here that won’t end in my untimely death?”
Pinkie flashed Dan a mad grin, “I have a few ideas…”
“Hush you!” Dan replied.
“GUYS!”
The group turned as Chris ran down the corridor, coming from the opposite direction of the Pinkie horde.
“Ooooh, good,” Dan said in a sarcastic tone, “Uslesser is here. This oughta be good…”
“RUN!” Chris cried as he approached the group.
“Again?!” The group exclaimed.
“Giant… huff…” Chris stopped running as he joined the group to catch his breath, “…puff …black and pink… slime monster! WHAT THE HECK ARE THOSE?!” Chris exclaimed at the pile of bullet hole ridden Pinkie Pies.
“Oh, just the results of science gone horribly right,” Twilight said.
“You mean WRONG!” Dan insisted.
“I know what I said,” Twilight shot back.
Elise frowned, “I thought we killed the slime monster.”
Pinkie and Dan looked up at Elise and Twilight. Pinkie had an inquisitive expression. Dan, an annoyed one.
A loud, deep cry burbled out from down the hallway, “FUuUuUuUuUuUNNNNNNNNNNN!”
“What did you two do?” Dan said in a demanding tone.
“We uhh… may have bombarded one of Pinkie’s DNA samples with gamma radiation,” Elise said sheepishly as she held one of her guns in the crock of her arm and reloaded the other.
“Nifty!” Pinkie exclaimed
“You made a Pinkie-HULK-slime monster?!” Dan cried.
“We didn’t know it was going to create a giant slime monster!” Twilight protested.
“You were using gamma radiation!” Dan pointed out. “How could it not create a giant monstrosity!?”
“It’s not like we ponies have had a lot of opportunity to work with radiation!” Twilight replied.
“Hmmmm…” Dan turned and shot Elise an accusatory glare.
“…Okay yeah, in hindsight that was a pretty bad idea,” Elise admitted.
“Ummm, shouldn’t we be running?” Chris suggested.
“Huh… the Pinkie syrup is leaving…” Pinkie uttered as she stared at the floor. The splatters of pink ooze began to retract towards the pile of pink ponies.
“Fun…”
The group’s collective expression turned worried as they looked over the fallen Pinkie Pies. To their surprise, bullets began to fall out of the pink mares’ bodies as the ooze retracted back into wounds and shifted back into short, pink hair.
The sound of several balloons deflating at once hit the group in a crescendo.
‘PPHHHHRRRRREEEEEESSSSHHHH!’
The group of Pink ponies rose to their hooves, their once curly hair now straight. Only a single splatter left from Twilight’s attack left one still a mess of viscous, pink, fluid. “Fun,” they said in unison. The ponies were no longer smiling, and the wild, uncaged joy had fallen from their eyes, replaced with a killer glare that they leveled at the group of humans and pair of ponies.
“Fun…” they all uttered again. “Fun!” they cried in a sinister tone.
Dan quickly raised a palm to his forehead with a loud, ‘SMACK!’ “Oh nice, and you two made T-1000 Pinkie clones as well…” he uttered. “That’s just… that’s just great…”
One of the clones began to bubble out in all directions, “FUUUUuUuUuUuUNNNN…”
‘POP!’
“That explode horrifically…” Dan added as more of the pink goo splattered out in all directions. He looked down at Pinkie, “Guessing the straight hair and angry expressions means they’re not here to party with me anymore.”
Pinkie swallowed as she reached into her mane and fumbled for her crowbar, it fell to the ground with a loud ‘Clang!’ Pinkie swallowed, “You might say they’re going to party with everyone…” Pinkie lowered her head and picked up her crowbar with her teeth.
“Oh, so our deaths are assured then,” Dan said. “Well, except for Sparkler’s…”
“For what it’s worth,” Twilight said, “I wish I was there with you guys…”
“Well… at least I got to experience Foodvana…” Chris uttered, his face pale and his eyes distant.
“Fun…” the clones uttered as one. “Fun! FUN! FUN! FUN! FUN! FUN!”
“FUuUuUuUuUuUNNNNNNNNNNN!”
“Ah!” Chris cried out in alarm as the now black and pink marbled slime monster rounded the corner.
Elise crossed her weapons in front of her chest and pointed them in either direction, “I’M OPEN TO SUGGESTIONS!”
“DAN,” Twilight cried, “do you have your lighter with you?!”
“Are fires a thing that almost always need to be created at any given time?!” Dan replied.
“Get it!” Twilight said.
Dan quickly reached into his pocket and pulled out his golden Zippo lighter.
“FUN! FUN! FUN! FUN! FUN!”
“FUuUuUuUuUuUNNNNNNNNNNN!”
Elise pulled the triggers on her weapons as the group of Pinkies and slime monster continued to approach them. Muzzle fire erupted from each weapon as a hailstorm of bullets flew in either direction.
‘Dakkadakkadakkadakkadakkdakkadakkadakkadakkadakkadakkadakkadakkadakka…’
The slime monster once again bubbled as the stream of bullets flew into its viscous body.
The Pinkie’s fell to the floor as bullets slammed into them. However, this time they continued to crawl forward despite the onslaught.
“CHRIS,” Twilight shouted over the sound of gunfire, “RAISE DAN UP TO THE CEILING!”
“Huh?” Dan uttered. “Hey! Whoa…”
Chris quickly wrapped his arms around Dan’s waist and lifted him up as Pinkie and Elise began to back up towards the mirror.
‘Dakkadakkadakkadakkadakkdakkada-Click…click…click…”
“Empty!” Elise called out as she dropped the weapons and pulled out her ninjatō. She held the sword blade defensively in front of her.
“DAN,” Twilight cried, “USE YOUR LIGHTER ON THE SPRINKLERS!”
Dan flicked the wheel on his lighter, and a small, orange flame suddenly came to life. He held the fire under one of the sprinklers as Chris held him in place.
“FUuUuUuUuUuUNNNNNNNNNNN!”
“FUN! FUN! FUN! FUN! FUN!”
The slime monster suddenly surged forward towards the group as the Pinkie’s leapt into the air.
“Warning, fire detected in main corridor.”
‘FISSSSSSSHHHHH…’
Water began to fall from the sprinklers, soaking humans, ponies, and slime monster alike.
The Pinkie clones and slime monster slammed into the group. However, instead of a solid hit that began to tear into the group, everyone was hit with a gelatinous, mass of pink and black sludge.
“What just happened?” Pinkie asked as she picked herself off to ground, slime dripping from her body. She quickly located Dan and trotted over to him. She began nuzzling her fallen boyfriend.
“Uhg…” Dan uttered as he opened his eyes and stared up into the twin glassy, sky-blue orbs of his girlfriend’s face, “...well that was unpleasant.”
Pinkie merely giggled in response and continued nuzzling Dan with her sticky mane.
“Hey… guys!” Twilight called out in a muffled voice. “I can’t see…”
Elise and Chris sat up out of the slime and looked at the fallen mirror.
“Chris, help me lift it up,” Elise said.
Chris nodded, “Sure, Elise.”
‘… SSSSSssssssshhhh…’
The two picked up the mirror out of ooze as the sprinklers above them stopped spraying everything. The goo dripped off the smooth surface revealing a much relieved looking purple alicorn.
“Nice mirror…” Chris commented. “It’s still intact…”
“The slime must have cushioned the fall…” Elise mused.
“How’d you know the sprinklers would work, Twilight?” Pinkie asked.
Twilight shook her head, “I didn’t, but when Elise took out the slime monster the first time, I noticed the ooze seemed to react to water. Given that the monster and Pinkies seemed to be mostly comprised of sugar, I figured it was worth a shot.”
Pinkie gasped, “Good thinking Twilight! You’re the smartest pony, ever, ever, ever!”
“Minus that part where you almost got us all killed,” Dan said as he climbed to his feet and brushed slime off of him.
Elise cleared her throat.
“Helped get us killed,” Dan corrected.
Elise nodded satisfactorily.
“Push the mirror towards the wall, guys” Twilight commanded. “I can probably remove the magic energy in the ooze and let us avoid this becoming a problem again.
Chris and Elise pushed the mirror back allowing Twilight to see more of the hall. Her horn glowed purple once more as magic energy slowly seeped out of the mirror and onto the slime. The glow spread across the mass of wet syrup on the floor before quickly flickering in intensity and going out entirely.
“There,” Twilight said, “that should do it…”
“Nice work, Twilight,” Elise said as she smiled at the mirror.
Twilight smiled weakly in response, “Thanks…”
Pinkie looked up at her boyfriend as a grin slowly began at the corners of her mouth and pulled her lips out as far as her face would allow. “Now where were we?”
Dan swallowed. “Uh… getting out of this slime covered place?” he said hopefully.
Pinkie shook her head as her eyes turned wild. “I don’t think so…” She said as she suddenly shifted her weight to her hind quarters.
“Aah!” Dan cried out in alarm as Pinkie pounced him, knocking him to ooze covered floor.
Twilight sighed, “Here we go again…”
Dan closed his eyes as his body tensed. He attempted to push himself back into the concrete floor as he felt Pinkie’s moist, hot breath against his face.
“Sniff… hhehhh… hhheeeehhh… I can’t…”
Dan felt something wet and hot fall on his face. He opened his eyes and looked up as tears fell from Pinkie’s eyes onto his cheeks.
Pinkie stared at Dan with quivering pupils that seemed to be fighting to stay focused. Her eyes became a mixture of sadness and madness that seemed to be fighting for control over the pink mare.
“Hic… hhehhh… I can’t control it… Ehhhhwhoua… I’M SO SORRY, DAN!” She cried as her eyes erupted in a fountain of tears. “WHOUAAAAAAHWUAAAAAAHWUAAAAAA…”
Dan slowly pushed Pinkie off of him and stood up once more. Rather than take the opportunity to get away, he kneeled down next to Pinkie and wrapped his arms around the crying mare. “It’ll be okay, Pinkie…” he whispered. “It’s alright…”
Twilight, Elise, and Chris looked on silently, serious, glum expressions occupying their faces.
“Pa…please… hic… let go…” Pinkie said weakly. “If you keep holding me like that… sniff… I’m going to lose control again…”
Dan eyes widened and he paused as he slowly broke his embrace and stepped back. He ran a wrist under his eyes, wiping away a few tears as he continued to look at Pinkie.
Pinkie focused her tear filled eyes on Elise, “Lock me up…” she uttered.
Dan and Twilight exchanged a quick glance as Dan turned back to Pinkie, “Pinkie, that’s not…”
Pinkie shook her head, “No Dan… I don’t… I don’t want to force you into anything you’re not sure about doing… I never want to do that…”
Dan swallowed and nodded his head.
Elise sighed heavily as she wiped a tear from her eye. She turned to Twilight, “Uh… I think we should call it a day.”
Twilight nodded.
Elise turned to Dan, “What do you want to do.”
Dan sighed, “Well… I can’t just leave Pinkie here.”
“YES YOU CAN!” Pinkie cried.
Dan shot his pink marefriend a glare that caused her to bite her lip and keep quiet.
Elise nodded, “There’s a room I have set up incase I’m working late and need to crash. Why don’t you clean the slime off of you and you can stay there.”
“Sure Elise… thanks…” Dan said.
Elise turned to Twilight, “Uh… I guess you’re free to go?”
Twilight shook her head, “Leave me with Dan for now… I think I wouldn’t mind talking to him some more.” She turned towards Dan, “If that’s okay with you…”
“Sure, Sparkler…” Dan replied.
The group paused as Pinkie began to shake and tremble at an almost violent rate.
“Come on Pinkie,” Elise said, “I’ll get you set up.”
Pinkie continued to chomp on her lower lip as she nodded. She looked at Dan with a sad, apologetic look and walked down the corridor with Elise.
Dan just stared out as his shoulders slumped.
He felt a comforting hand on his shoulder and looked up at Chris.
“Don’t worry buddy,” Chris said, “it’ll be alright…”
Dan looked up briefly, then wordlessly turned and followed Pinkie with his eyes until the pink mare was out of sight.
-oooooo-
Dan sighed heavily as he sat on the bed in the barren room. His clothes had been replaced with a fresh pair and the mirror sat against a wall facing the bed. He hadn’t bothered to turn on the lights, and the mirror served as the only illumination against Dan, the bed, and the bare concrete walls.
“You don’t sound all that pleased with the situation,” Twilight said.
“My girlfriend is in a cell,” Dan pointed out.
“True, but it’s for your protection,” Twilight replied.
“That’s just it… I mean, I’m still not comfortable with the whole Pinkie being a pony thing and wanting to get really, really close to me whether I want to or not… but… I’ve probably only spent a grand total of two nights apart from her since we met…” Dan said with melancholy wistfulness as he looked at the remote in his hand. Elise had given it to him if he needed to move the mirror or open any of the doors of the complex. Dan mused that this meant that Elise had, uncharacteristically, trusted him with a number of dangerous items in the complex. However, the thought of figuring out what any of them did and using them was pretty far from his thoughts.
“Honestly, a big part of me just wants to let her loose and just accept the fact that she’s not going to be able to control herself around me until she gets this out of her system,” Dan continued.
“You mean you into her system,” Twilight said with a smirk.
Dan winced but smiled, “Alright, Sparkler, I’m going to let that one slide, but only because it was actually pretty funny. Anyhow…” Dan continued as he looked at Twilight, “I love her, and I want to be with her… and I certainly don’t want her to be alone in a cell for the rest of the night…”
The two paused as the heard the clattering of metal bars against the ground.
Twilight looked at Dan and raised an eyebrow, “Was that your newfound dimensional powers kicking in?” she asked.
“No… I’m pretty sure that was us not realizing Pinkie had a blowtorch or angle grinder or who knows what in that curly mane of hers,” Dan said as his expression turned pensive.
“DaAaAaAn… Come out to plaAaAay… DaAaAaAn…” Pinkie sang out, her voice echoing eerily in the metal, underground bunker.
Dan shook his head and sighed, “You know… if she wasn’t so forceful and completely weird about this, I may not even have an issue here…”
“Yeah,” Twilight agreed, “she’s pretty chaotic at the moment, allri…” Twilight paused and smacked a hoof against her face.
“What?”
“I’m such an idiot!” Twilight cried.
Dan paused, “I’m very proud of you, Sparkler. The first step is admitting you have a problem.”
“NO! I mean, there’s a very simple way to get Pinkie back and I’ve been going about it the hard way, again, all because I’ve conditioned myself to believe it’s the easy way!” Twilight said.
“What?!” Dan exclaimed, “That doesn’t make any sense.”
“Exactly!”
The two paused as a loud ‘Clank!’ was heard and the door opened slightly. A pink muzzle poked out from under the opening.
Dan looked at the door with a panicked expression. “Never mind,” he said shaking his head. “So you can change Pinkie back?”
Twilight shook her head, “I can’t, but I know who can…”
“Oh, well… go get them…”
Twilight nodded, “It’ll take a while…”
Dan looked at the door nervously, “Can you be more specific?”
“Erm…” Twilight gave Dan a nervous grin, “See you tomorrow?”
“WHAT?! Tomorrow?! But…”
Twilight shook her head, “Sorry Dan, it can’t be helped, but there is one thing I can do for you…”
“Oh? And that is..?” Dan asked as he cocked an eyebrow.
“Plan ‘B’,” Twilight said.
Dan went quiet and stared at Twilight as if seriously considering the option for the first time, “Alright, hit me.”
Twilight cooked an eyebrow, “You sure?”
‘Keeekrrkeeekrrrkeeekee…’
Dan ignored the sound of Pinkie operating herself like a floor jack to lift the heavy metal door.
“If Pinkie can find it in her to love a human, well then…” Dan smiled weakly, “…I guess I can do the same for her.”
Twilight merely smiled and nodded. Her horn glowed bright purple as energy shot out of it and engulfed the mirror, a beam exited it and hit Dan. Dan felt his body change. His clothing clung to his body tightly and changed to grey hair, his legs and arms shorted, his ears lengthened, he felt his mouth and nose jut out slightly from his face, his muscles seemed to contract and become denser. Soon he was standing on four legs that ended in hooves as a short, black tail sported just above his hindquarters.
Dan looked over his new, grey haired body with a worried expression. He craned his neck to look behind him as he flicked his black haired tail out and stared at the image of three sticks of lit dynamite in a bundle. Unaccustomed to his new body, he began to shake as panic griped him. His eyes opened wide as he turned to Twilight, “Okay… this is weird! Maybe we can try putting her to sleep again…”
Twilight shook her head, “Look Dan,” she began, “I feel bad here, I really do! But I CAN’T fix this situation while dragging around a gigantic mirror around with me so I can I blast one of my best friends with magic ‘feel good’ beams.”
“Well… you can try!” Dan said hopefully.
“I have to go out in public, for crying out loud!” Twilight replied.
Dan scrunched his muzzle up and shot a glare at Twilight, “So, I have to suffer just so you don’t embarrass yourself?”
Twilight cocked an eyebrow at Dan, “Do you want me to get your girlfriend off in full public view of Ponyville?”
“Uh… complaint withdrawn…” Dan replied as his features softened and his quaking lessened to mild trembling.
Twilight sighed and shook her head slowly, “Sorry Dan… for what it’s worth, your body chemistry is now stallion and in a very short amount of time here, you really aren’t going to care that you were a human a few seconds ago.”
“Can’t you stick around and at least try to knock her out once before heading out?” Dan asked in a somewhat pleading tone.
“Trust me, this is going to work out a lot better for you than you think, just be sure to think of me when you’re having the best sex of your life.”
“WHAT?!”
Twilight grinned wide before quickly trotting off out of sight.
“No!” Dan protested. “Sparkler! Get back here!”
“HeEeEeEeEeEy looooover~!”
Dan’s blood ran cold as he looked behind him.
Pinkie’s eyes shot open wide and her pupils grew as if someone had spilled a mass of black ink on her eyes. “You…you’re a pony…” she murmured.
“Uh… surprise?” Dan said with a nervous grin. “WHOA,” Dan saw a flash of pink before he was knocked onto his back. He stared up at the mare who now had him pinned down to the ground.
Pinkie bit her lower lip as she stared at Dan with her wide, impossibly hungry eyes. “Sorry Dan,” Pinkie lowered her muzzle next to Dan’s ear, “but I’m about to rock you so hard, you might not see straight for the next-OW!” Pinkie paused and her eyes cleared ever so slightly. “Did you… did you just bite my ear?”
Dan chuckled, “Sorry, but you smell really nice…”
“Oh… erm…” Pinkie blushed slightly and moved her head to look Dan in the eyes, “Thanks…” Pinkie paused as she looked into Dan’s eyes. The green in them had practically been obliterated by the insatiable looking void of his pupils.
Dan felt his panic and nervousness flee his body as Pinkie’s scent hit his nostrils. Thoughts or concerns of adjusting to his new form suddenly became very distant and difficult to concentrate on, not the he possessed the desire to care about such things at the moment. The scent of Pinkie obliterated all other thoughts from his mind. She was now his entire world, and nothing would keep him from her. “No, you smell, really, REALLY nice,” Dan said as he looked up at Pinkie with a mad grin.
Pinkie gulped as a nervous look began to seep into her features, “Dan you’re scaring m…sniff… sniff…” Pinkie’s pensive look quickly gave way back to the same, crazed hungry look she had moments before.
Pinkie locked her ravenous, sky-blue eyes with Dan’s equally hungry green eyes. The lovers smiled madly at each other.
“Lock the doors and close the blinds…” Pinkie and Dan sang softly to one another.
“We’re going for a ride…”
-ooooooo-
Twilight’s pensive expression changed to a small smile as she heard sounds of Dan and Pinkie in the throes of passion emanate from the mirror. She chuckled softly to herself as her horn glowed purple and she muted the sound from the mirror. She glanced up towards the top of the library as her horn glowed once more and a blanket levitated off her bed and over the mirror.
“Spike?” she called out. “I’m heading out.”
“Uh… Can I get dinner in here, maybe?” Spike called out from the bathroom.
Twilight chuckled, “Sorry Spike. You’re on your own for the night. I have a pony to see and somewhere else to be.”
There was a pause. “…Alright Twilight, have fun!”
Twilight smiled, “Oh… I’m sure I will…”
She gave a quick satisfied nod to herself as she trotted to the library door and exited into the cool night of Ponyville. She spread her wings and flapped them, ascending into the night sky as she wobbly made her way to town hall. She descended to the entrance of the three story building and levitated open the large, twin doors, stepping inside.
The grand hall was dark and empty, as Twilight entered. However, she could hear voices echo from the floor above the large hall. She made her way up a set of stairs that stopped in front of another large set of doors.
“Good evening, Princess,” Mayor Mare greeted as the brown pony stood in front of the doorway.
Twilight nodded politely. “Good evening Mayor,” Twilight greeted. “Everything going alright?”
The mayor frowned, “I’m not sure really… all I can tell is Princess Celestia seems to be having a rather animated discussion with a cat. Everyone one else has been rather quiet. I’ve been waiting for some time to present this,” The mayor said holding up a scroll.
“Uh, may I?” Twilight asked as she nodded at the scroll.
“Of course!” Mayor Mare exclaimed.
Twilight levitated the scroll over and examined it.
“It’s a budgeted list of items and improvements I was hoping I could request for Ponyville,” Mayor Mare explained.
Twilight nodded, “Do you have some ink and a quill?”
The mayor smiled, “I’ll fetch them immediately…” She galloped off and quickly returned with the items Twilight requested.
Twilight levitated the ink and quill over to her. She dipped the quill quickly and began running it over the list. “No, no, yes, yes, yes, no, yes, yes…” Twilight said as she began crossing off and circling items on the list.
The mayor merely grinned nervously.
Twilight concluded going over the list by writing a few things at the bottom, she showed the list to the Mayor, “Will this do?”
Mayor mare quickly scanned the scroll, “Sure… uh… of course, Princess… but… we don’t need a new conference table… and city hall doesn’t need any repairs…”
Twilight chuckled to herself as a purple glow engulfed the doors to the meeting area, “It will…”
Twilight levitated the doors open. Cadance and Luna looked at her as she entered. Luna smiled while Cadance had an inquisitive and somewhat pensive look.
Flash Sentry and Shining Armor continued to stare off into open space with a 1,000 yard stare.
“Meow merrrow?” Mr. Mumbles mewed from the mirror.
Celestia chuckled and shook her head, “Tell me about it… after over 1,000 years I just accepted that I’m ruling a group of panicky, fickle creatures. It’s oddly liberating to just accept that something crazy happens almost every…” Celestia paused as she noticed Twilight. “Oh! Hello, Twilight. Are you here to join us?”
Twilight grinned mischievously as the large, round, conference table glowed purple and levitated off the ground. “Not exactly…” Without warning Twilight lifted the table high into the air and threw it towards a window.
‘CRASH!’
Flash Sentry and Shining Armor came to as the heavy table shattered a window and broke through a wall, leaving a mess of splinters as it flew outside. Twilight’s horn sparked a brilliant flow of purple again as a bolt of magic flew from it with a ‘PHWOOOSSHOWSH!’ The bolt slammed into the table, obliterating it.
Celestia, Luna, and Mr. Mumbles merely looked at the purple alicorn with inquisitive expressions.
The collective jaws of Mayor Mare, Shining Armor, Flash Sentry, and Cadance dropped as they processed what Twilight had done.
“Twilight!” Cadance exclaimed. “What has gotten into you?!”
“Uh, Twili?” Shining Armor said, “Are you okay?”
Flash just stared blankly at Twilight.
Luna held up a hoof requesting silence. “It’s alright…” she smiled at Twilight, “Princess Twilight has the floor.”
Twilight smiled, “Sorry, but I just spent my entire day dealing with some interdimensional heat troubles with one of my best friends on top of fighting a slime monster and many copies of herself as a result.”
Celestia chuckled. “My, my, sounds like you’ve had a busy, crazy day.”
Twilight nodded, “As of such, I’ve afraid I won’t be able to participate in the remainder of tonight’s meeting. I must be off to Canterlot.”
“Twili!” Shining Armor said in an aghast tone, “You can’t just…”
Celestia merely chuckled, “That’s quite alright Twilight. We can conclude the summit here, unless there was anything else.”
Twilight nodded and floated the scroll over to Celestia and Luna, “Ponyville and I require the following.”
The two princess looked over the list and nodded.
“Seems reasonable,” Luna said with a nod. “Ponyville shall be granted sums to build these items at once.”
Mayor Mare beamed.
“Congratulations, Twilight,” Celestia said with a smile.
Cadance and Shining Armor exchanged a confused glance then looked back to Celestia, “Congratulations?!”
Flash merely looked back and forth between Twilight and Celestia.
The scroll glowed with dark blue energy as Luna rolled it up. She smiled and nodded, “Twilight has already deduced the most important part of a Princess summit.”
“Uh… and that is?” Flash asked.
“Getting whatever you want,” Celestia stated.
“WHAT?!” Cadance exclaimed.
“Well… it’s not like any of us actually needs anything for our respective territories,” Twilight pointed out.
Cadance and Shining Armor paused and dwelled on this.
Luna nodded, “That is correct… unless there is a crisis, the Princess Summit serves little purpose other than to show our subjects that we are unified across Equestria… The best a princess can do is blow off a little steam and ask for some money out of the royal reserves.”
Cadance sighed, “Well… I guess I’ll have to remember to make things more interesting for everypony when the Crystal Empire hosts its next summit... and that I want a bigger hot-tub.”
Celestia and Luna smiled and nodded.
“That would be most welcome,” Celestia said.
Twilight turned to Flash, “Sooo… about earlier…”
Flash shook his head and smiled, “I think I got the gist of it… Do I really want to know the details?”
Twilight tittered quietly, “Hehehe… no, no you do not.”
“So, Canterlot,” Flash began, “well as your guard I should probably…”
“Keep me under close watch from inside the private car I just reserved?” Twilight suggested.
“Uh… I was just going to say, ‘Go with you’,” Flash smiled, “but I like your idea better.”
Twilight smiled back at her coltfriend, “Just be sure to keep a very close eye on me… I mean it…” she smiled mischievously and motioned out to the large hole in the wall with a forehoof, “I’m clearly out of control, you might have to restrain me…”
Shining Armor’s face turned bright crimson as Cadance, Celestia, and Luna all erupted in laughter.
Flash put on a nervous grin as he glanced across the room. Red faced he handed Twilight a notepad, “Oh, here’s your notes, by the way…”
Twilight glanced at the sheet, “ ‘Douche-nozzle’ has two ‘z’s” she informed.
“Whoops…” Flash replied.
Twilight chuckled and shook her head, “Forget about it. I’d rather have you write me a sonnet than take notes for my anyway.” Twilight frowned, “With the aid of a dictionary of course,” she said as she held out her arm, bending it at the elbow.
Flash smiled and hooked an arm around Twilight’s, “Sounds good to me.”
Twilight glanced behind her, “Sorry everypony! Gotta go! See you later.”
The group waved at Twilight and said their goodbye as she walked arm and arm with Flash out of the room.
“Sooo…” Shining Armor began, “what now?”
Luna smiled, “I vote we make the cat an official delegate of planet Earth.”
“WHAT?!” Celestia exclaimed.
“Second,” Cadance said with a smile.
“Third,” Shining armor added.
Mr. Mumbles gave a joyful, “Meow” and began to purr.
Celestia sighed, “Guess I better prepare more insults for next year…”
-ooooooo-
“Do you think they’re okay?” Chris asked as he and Elise made their way into the shed in their backyard.
“Well… Dan didn’t try to contact us…” Elise said as she pulled out a remote and pressed a button with her thumb. The floor beneath the couple began to lower.
“Yes, but that could be good or bad…” Chris mused. He glanced at the remote. “I thought you gave that to Dan…”
“I gave Dan A remote,” Elise said. “Do you really think I’m as crazy to give him free reign of my work area and everything in it?”
“Good point,” Chris replied.
The platform came to a stop at the bottom of a well-lit, concrete floor and the two stepped off the platform and made their way down the main hall.
“Oh uh…” Elise uttered.
“What?” Chris asked.
“The room Dan was in… the door’s been forced open…” Elise said as she broke into a sprint.
Chris ran after her.
Elise ran into the room and immediately emitted a high pitched shriek, “AAAAAEEEEEK!”
“Elise!” Chris cried in a panicked tone, “What’s… oh…” Chris uttered as he looked into the room.
“Would you two idiots keep it down?!” Dan exclaimed in an irritated tone. “We didn’t exactly get a lot of sleep last night…”
Dan lowered his head back onto his forearms. The small, grey stallion was curled into a tight ball on the bed. A small black patch of hair poked out from his muzzle. His short, black tail laid in front of his back legs and flank, just under the three sticks of lit dynamite that made up his cutie mark. Pinkie laid draped over his back, her fore legs dangled over his torso as she rested her head on her upper arms. Under closed eyes, a content smile seemed permanently etched on her muzzle.
“I ca… I can’t!” Elise stammered. “It’s just too cute!” Her eyes rolled back into her head as she quickly lost consciousness.
Chris quickly dove, catching his wife before her body could hit the cold, hard, concrete ground below. He brought her back up and supported her limp frame with his body, wrapping an arm around her shoulder.
“Uh hey guys... Everything went okay last night I take it?”
Pinkie softly giggled, “That’s one way of putting it…” Her eyes suddenly shot open, “Wow… do I feel sore.”
“Uh… TMI…” Chris uttered.
Pinkie giggled, “I meant from the drug, silly-Billy…Although, now that you mention it…”
“Uh… HEY!” Chris exclaimed, “Why don’t I take Elise up and make us all a nice batch of pancakes,” he suggested.
“Hmmm… pancakes,” Pinkie said hungrily.
Dan sighed, “Fine… we’ll be up in a bit, alright?”
Chris took a quick glance at the walls in the room. “Hey… why is everything covered in pink glitter and confetti?” He asked as he dragged a hand over the festive walls.
Dan cringed, “…Chris, go wash your hand, you idiot… tell Elise she might want to hose this room down.”
The color drained from Chris face. “Uh… right… see you two later…” Chris uttered as he walked out of the room, carrying Elise with him.
Dan grumbled irritably to himself, “And I was so comfortable too…” Dan stretched his body out on the bed as Pinkie remained draped over him. “Oh well…” Dan craned his neck and glanced back at Pinkie, “…at least we’re alone again,” he said with a devilish grin.
Pinkie blinked in response, “Wow Dan… and I thought I was insatiable…”
Dan chuckled, “It’s your fault for smelling so nice…”
“Heh…” Pinkie began rubbing her head up Dan’s back towards his short black mane. She buried her muzzle into his hair and took a big sniff, “Sniffff… I guess I can understand that…”
“Erm… I hope we’re not interrupting…”
Dan and Pinkie paused as they looked up to the mirror. Twilight and Discord stood in front of their own mirror, inside Twilight’s library.
“Oh, don’t be such a kill-joy, Princess,” Discord said with a wicked smile. “It was starting to get good…”
Pinkie hopped off of Dan and onto the floor, “Hiya, Twilight. Hiya, Discord! You here to join in the science fun today, too?” Pinkie asked with a smile.
Dan’s eyes shot open wide as a panicked expression latched onto his features like a large, steel bear-trap. “Oh, God… please no…”
“Science fun? Ohhohohoh…” Discord chuckled with a grin, “…Sounds like you threw one heck of a party without me, Princess.”
Twilight chuckled nervously, “Hehee… Actually, Discord is here to teach me a spell.”
Pinkie’s face lit up, “You mean…!”
Twilight nodded, “Yep… he knows how to turn you back into a human.”
Dan smiled as Pinkie erupted in a loud, cheerful, “Hurray!” and began pronking on all fours around the room.
Dan looked at Twilight with a frown, “Wait… you mean he know how to turn Pinkie back the whole time?!”
“Uh… yeah…” Twilight admitted with an embarrassed smile as redness began to paint her cheeks slightly.
Discord folded his arms and turned his head a perfect 90 degrees as he stared down at the purple alicorn. “Someone was a little slow to learn a valuable lesson about asking for help,” he said in a sing song rhythm as he tapped a lion claw against Twilight’s head
Twilight frowned and swatted at Discord’s paw with a forehoof, “Well, I remembered eventually! And I said I was sorry…”
Discord chuckled as his head titled back to a natural position. “That you did,” he said with a nod. “Well, no sense dragging this out,” discord raised his eagle claw into the air and glanced at Twilight once more. “You will remember to seek my guidance the next time something out of the ordinary happens, won’t you?”
Twilight nodded, “You’ll be the first, uh… draconequus I think of!”
Discord snickered, “Very well…” Discord snapped of his eagle talon.
Dan felt himself float up into the air slightly as his fur seemed to fall off his body, reforming into a black t-shirt that read ‘JERK’, a pair of jeans, socks, and shoes. His limbs shifted and change back to their normal appearance, as did his ears, and muzzle.
Dan floated into a sitting position on the bed. He quickly patted his body feeling his features as if confirming the chance was complete. He began to squirm uncomfortably on the bed and knitted his brow at Discord. Dan sat up and exposed his backside to the mirror. He pointed irritably at the tail that was sticking up out of his jeans.
“Awww, but it’s so cute!” Pinkie said as she ceased her bounding.
“I agree!” Discord said. “Why, I dare say you can start a new fashion trend.”
“I’m NOT walking around with a tail!” Dan declared
Discord rolled his head around and around on his neck, the act caused his eyes to, likewise, roll in their sockets, “Oh, alright, have it your way, party-pooper…” he snapped his talon and Dan’s tail disappeared. The draconequus glanced down at Twilight, “Got all that?”
Twilight nodded with a small smile. “Yeah, I did… hold still, Pinkie.”
Pinkie smiled, “Okie-dokie-lokie!”
Twilight horn glowed purple as a beam of purple energy shot out of the mirror and engulfed Pinkie. The pink mare rose into the air as her short, pink hair turned into a pink dress and blue jacket. Her arms and legs lengthened and slimmed down to their normal, petite selves and her muzzle retracted back into her small pointed nose and chin. The glow began to fade as Pinkie was lowered towards the floor onto her red sneakers.
Pinkie examined her hands excitedly, “YAY!” Pinkie brought her hands up to her cheeks and began rubbing her face against them, “Oh, Shakey and Wavey! I missed you two so much!” Pinkie looked up at Twilight and beamed, “Thank you, Twilight!”
Twilight smiled warmly at her friend, “You’re welcome.”
“But you can change me, back, right?!” Pinkie asked with a hopeful, happy grin.
“WHAT?!” Twilight exclaimed.
“Pfffft… hehehehHAHAHAHAHA!” Discord erupted into great, big belly laughs that sent the Draconequus to the ground as he gripped his sides and rolled around.
“You can’t be serious!” Twilight exclaimed.
Dan chuckled, “She’s serious…”
“But… but… after all that!” Twilight protested.
“Oh! I know you’ve been through so much Twilight! And believe me, for the last few days I’ve wanted nothing more than to be human again! But then you made Dan a pony and we had so much fun last night…” Pinkie paused as her eyes widened, “...And I mean, wild, crazy, uncontrollable, insane, super-duper fu…”
“I GET IT!” Twilight said. “Alright, I’ll change you both into ponies later,” Twilight said.
“Aww, Dis!” Pinkie exclaimed in a disappointed tone.
“You need to get home first, remember!” Twilight said. “I think it’ll be easier if you’re human and at least somewhat able to keep your arms off each other other…” Twilight sighed, “…Not that right now is a good example.”
“Oh… hehe,” Pinkie giggled as she unwrapped her arms from around Dan and sat up off his lap.
Dan chuckled, “You know there’s things we can only do as human…” Dan said as he lightly swatted Pinkie’s behind.
“Eeep!” Pinkie exclaimed as she reached her hands out behind her and lightly rubbed her bottom. She turned to Dan with a smirk, “Good point… I guess there was a few things I missed the last few days…”
“Oh really?” Discord said with a look of interest, “Do tell.”
Twilight cleared her throat, “Uh, hey…” she looked at Pinkie, then at Discord. “Could you two give me and Dan a quick minute alone?”
Pinkie sighed. “Well… alright… I guess I can wait a little bit…” She said as she walked out of the room.
Twilight looked up at Discord.
Discord merely shrugged. With a snap of his talon he disappeared from view.
“Uh, hey Dan…” Twilight said sheepishly.
“Yeah, Sparkles?” Dan replied.
“I never got a chance to say my final confession to you… you know… with all the straining to keep that magic shield going, and all…”
Dan shook his head, “Forget it Sparkles, we’re fine… it doesn’t matter.”
“Yes it does!” Twilight insisted. “You almost got killed, and it would have been my fault… you deserve to hear this.”
Dan rolled his eyes and sighed, “Alright, fine… what is it?”
“Elise was right… you make Pinkie extraordinarily happy. I know she misses home… but… she’s still perfectly happy where she is now. And the only reason for that is you… You mean the world to her… and you’ve kept her safe… so… thank you, Dan. From the bottom of my heart. Thank you. I just ask that you keep her safe… and… not that I think you’ll have trouble with this part, but… keep her happy.” Twilight smiled warmly at Dan. “Okay?”
“Uhhh…” Dan paused to wipe a bit of moisture that had begun to form underneath his eyes, “Sure, Twilight…” Dan smiled at the purple alicorn, “It’s what I’m here for.”
Twilight’s smile widened as nodded, “Of course… take it easy, Dan.”
Dan waved, “You too Sparkler.” He chuckled, “See you soon, I guess…”
Twilight made a slightly disgusted sound, “Ulgh… yeah… Just try not to make a habit out of this?” Twilight said in a pleading tone. “I’m not sure how comfortable I am playing love transmogrifier for you two…”
“No promises,” Dan said with a smirk.
“Aww, touching…”
Twilight shot a glare at Discord who had poked his head up from under a flat accent rug on the library floor.
“Alright, waiting sucks!” Pinkie cried as she ran back into the room.
“Uh, hey Goofball,” Dan said, “we were just saying-WHOA!”
Pinkie quickly reached for the hem of her dress, and in a quick movement pulled it and her jacket off her body and threw the clothing at the mirror. The garments hit the top of the mirror and fell flat against what would have been the reflective surface if the mirror wasn’t in use.
“Hmmm…” Discord hummed, “Oh this won’t do… Would you mind moving that dress?”
“No, NO!” Twilight cried, “The dress can stay… Discord I think it’s time we gave these two back their privacy.”
Discord sighed, “Oh, poo… and it was really starting to get good…”
The mirror flickered with a purple glow briefly as sounds ceased to emit from the glow on the other side.
Clad in a matching pair of pink and white, horizontally striped bra and panties that hugged Pinkie’s ample features, socks, shoes, and a smile, Pinkie made her way to Dan. She pushed him back onto the bed and and sat on his lap. “You’re wearing too much clothes,” she declared as she rested her slender, pink-nail-polished hands against Dan’s chest.
“What was that about me being insatiable?” Dan asked with a grin.
Pinkie smirked, “Don’t make me chew through them. You know I will!”
“Alright, let me just do one thing first…” Dan said.
Pinkie sighed, “Oh…alright-MMMMPHPGH?! MMMMGHPGH! Mmghph? Mmmmm…” Pinkie uttered as Dan covered her mouth with his and her startled, muffled cries quickly changed to content, gentle hums. She wrapped her arms around Dan as he kissed her deeply and the couple’s tongues reacquainted themselves with the insides of each other’s mouth sans-hair for the first time in days.
Unbeknownst to the couple, the mirror flickered from under Pinkie’s dress as the garment lifted slightly. A pair of yellow pupils and red iris set in yellow orbs peered out from under the dress.
“DISCORD!” Twilight yelled out. “EYES AND TALON WHERE I CAN SEE THEM!”
“Fine, fine!” the Discord said in a somewhat disappointed tone as the mirror flashed once more.
Dan and Pinkie glanced at the mirror and chuckled softly to themselves.
Dan gently placed his fingers on one of Pinkie’s cheek and directed her large, sky-blue eyes to his green ones. “Just one more tiny, little thing…” Dan said.
Pinkie giggled, “Alright…”
“I just wanted you to know that I love you,” Dan said as he looked over Pinkie fondly. “No matter what shape you’re in.”
Pinkie’s eyes began to mist up as her smile widened. She felt a happy, warm sensation start at the center of her body and radiate out to her extremities. She reached a hand up to one of Dan’s cheeks. “I know Dan, I love you too…” Pinkie leaned in as the couple shared another, passionate kiss.
Pinkie tilted her head back slightly, breaking her lips from Dan’s, “Seriously though… take your clothes off.”
Dan chuckled and reached for the bottom of his shirt.
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Best chapter yet. Was wondering if you'd reference the Hulk after using Gamma Radiation.
That being said, I was listening to the Living Tombstone's remix of Rainbow Factory by WoodenToaser
Awesome!
2 Items to speak of.
1. Discord is a pervert. Why am I so accepting of this.....
2. Can Twilight and Elise create more abominations of nature and monstrosities? More hellspawn? The idea of our hit squad of Elise, Dan, Pinkie, Ninja Dave, Becky, and maybe Chris going into a monster filled secret lab to exterminate stuff makes me excited.
Finally "Plan B" so Awsome
I was wondering when Twilight would finally remember that Discord exists.
And 100th chapter! Congratulations!
About time.
Finally caught up. Fun times, and you've gotten a better. Keep it up.
4046233
tranquilizers statured to wear off
Started
‘Slurp!’, he ran his tong
Likely his 'tongue' unless they make really moist grabbing tools.
Pinkie nodded weekly.
It's good that she schedules it so rigidly. (She probably nodded weakly)
Elise likewise, breathed in
Debatable edit, 'Elise, likewise, breathed in'.
science gone horrible right
Could go either way. Science gone horrible and right, or science gone horribly right.
they Pinkie syrup
Just a quick 'the' typo. Happens to everyone.
“Helped got us killed,”
Helped get us killed. Stupid tense swapping with different targets.
her easy erupted in
Her.. her easy? ...Nope, not thinking about it. (Probably her eyes, curse you autocorrect!)
me weather I want to
Whether
complaint withdraw
Withdrawn
nights sky
Debatable night sky, night-sky, but probably without the extra s.
one of my best friend
Annoyingly, since it's about more than one (one of) it would have to be plural (friends)
make thing more
Probably 'things'
door’s been force
Forced
too much clothes,”
Another language annoyance. They have too much clothing, or too many clothes.
chew threw
Through
Aside from autocorrect being the bane of your existence, things are wonderful as usual.
Such as why Discord is so interested in the mating rituals of incredibly chaotic beings.
4045861 Don't bother. They're minor enough that the biggest reaction you'd get is a single eye-twitch each, and fixing that isn't worth going through this Goliath of a fanfic.
That said, please cut down on them in the future. Listen to IlurvTrixie - hire the fudger, even. S/he looks like editor material.
4046270
Phew!
Thanks for doing through all that.
You have written one-hundred chapters of an angry little man having sex with a pony from another dimension.
And you did a bang-up job.
Congratulations.
4046309
WHOOOO!
You made it! This thing is now officially ridiculous.
javascript:void()
Especially considering how short SweetieMash is and how much attention its gotten.
Now you just have to figure what they hay is coming next. I mean, we gotta be edging slowly toward some sort of conclusion eventually. We still need to wrap up this meandering narrative somehow. Someday. Maybe.
♫I can't decide whether you should live or die~
Another awesome chapter justice.
100th chapter ends with a bang!
Actually, I think the chapter itself is full of bangs and banging but still,
100th chapter ends with a bang!
Gah! Now I have another drawing to do... Everyone needs to see pony-Dan
Urge to kill rising...
Fading...
Fading...
RISING!!!!
Fading...
Gone.
Pinkie just liked it that Dan was hung like a horse for a while
4047866
I think it would've been a better idea for Twilight to have turned Pinkie into a creature that wasn't in heat when she decided to turn Dan into a pony, actually she should have done so earlier. It would've been simple temporary solution that would've solved their problem of an out of control Pinkie, but not the problem of an inhuman Pinkie. For a second I thought she had realized this, but that turned out to be something else. I feel like she should at least later realize she could have done that; it would have been more efficient for them than what they actually did.
4051165
I don't disagree that it would have been a more sensibleness solution for Twilight, but she spent the last couple days being screamed at by a couple of people/ponies who wanted a solution "NOW" so she wasn't allowed time to really sort out what would have been the ideal solution on top of her normal duties + Princess Summit stuff she was disregarding in favor of helping one of her best friends.
Edit: Also most of day two she spent semi-drunk, because who actually has the patience to deal with Dan's and Pinkie Pie's bizarre love problems on top of their interdimensional combat shenanigans?
4051182 So will she ever kick herself over it, realizing she had a better solution to her problem than what she went with?
The urge to draw something about this is rising
4051182 Great chapter and a beautiful 100 episodes!
We're all ready for the next 100
4051597
Possibly, she's kinda kicking herself over the fact that she should have thought of Discord right away, already
I'll have to think about her going back and thinking of a what would have been a better solution...
Just how many channels has Discord got on his Googly Glasses now?
Also, with pony pony plus heat, for a baker equals bun in oven?
Will Elise now look for a water pistol, and end up opening a portal to the Aniverse?
Apparently theres a whole collection of resteraunts etc that specialise in insulting the customers, one was in the news only yesterday because its customers were complaining when they said thy were going to be more considerate.
Reality is even weirder than we can possibly imagine.
Grats on the hundredth, now I feel bad for Chris. ..
Twilight, you weird mare!
Just wondering why, right after learning the lesson about asking for help, she hasn't asked Discord to just make the mirror into a portal already? xD
4375413 Plot
A cat represent the Earth at a politician meeting? Better than most politicians we had, at least a cat his only lazy and selfish.
*face palm*
I can't believe I forgot too!
OH GOD I WAS WRONG, THIS IS THE CHAPTER THAT WILL HAUNT MY NIGHTMARES FOR YEARS TO COME.
Oh, my god, the implications of that are staggering and mildly disturbing.
4375413 I've been wondering that ever since it was revealed that magic could be cast through the mirror. Seems like a logical idea to attempt something like a reverse-teleport/summoning.
After a 7-day marathon, I've finally made it to Chapter 100...
Time to finish off those last 30+ chapters! Whoooooooooooooo!!
Is that a reference to "The Warriors", or am I just over thinking this... Like usual. (Clip to show you where from)
4591886
You are absolutely not over-thinking it.
We’ll that’s a few hours spend hitting my head against something solid
1. Spent.
This chapter... so... much...
This chapter was oddly touching, in a horrible, nightmare-inducing way. Like, seriously, I'm gonna need AT LEAST a gallon of industrial strength brain bleach to wipe my memories off.
alright! chapter 100!
Yeah, that's a bit cold-blooded there, Twi.
I am completely and utterly terrified now.
I was wondering why it took Twilight this long to think of Discord.
Yes, my favorite luscious purple horse...you are in fact an idiot.
I can't believe Twilight just SAID THAT...
4744476
TwiDan is now my second favorite Dan shipping.
I'm rather surprised Dan didn't comment on Discord. I don't remember them being introduced previously.
4946438
Actully he and Discord were both laughing at Pinkie when she was trying to get internet working on her computer way back in Dan Vs. Friendship (is Magic). So they've met.
Wait, if Twilight could have turned Dan into a pony for a long time, then shouldn't she have been able to create a reverse version of the spell that she could use to turn Pinkie back into a human?
5080564 Not necessarily. It's far easier to undo what you've done than to undo something you have no idea how it was done in the first place. The components for doing it one way are completely different than doing it the other way. Theoretically speaking.
I shrieked too about the same instant.
Dan looked at Twilight with a frown, “Wait… you mean he know how to turn Pinkie back the whole time?!”
knew*
I love Dan's Cutie mark, it's just so incredibly perfect that I had to stop reading for ten minutes while I laughed hysterically.