• Published 11th Sep 2013
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The Wheel and the Butterfly A Dan X Pinkie Pie Saga - Justice3442



Pinkie Pie finds herself adjusting to a new, hostile world, with a new hostile friend. Can they make it through this new misadventure together, or is it the universe that needs to watch out for them?

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Part 18 Dan, Pinkie, & Ash Vs. Deadites: Chapter 166: Dan & Pinkie Vs. Days of Future Past

The Wheel and The Butterfly

Part 18 Dan, Pinkie, & Ash Vs. Deadites: Chapter 166: Dan & Pinkie Vs. Days of Future Past

-ooooooo-

Grumbling up a hurricane of frustration and anger, Dan trod on sun-baked plants and past the odd green plant that was clearly a bit more built for California’s hot weather as he searched for a place to collapse and perhaps scream his frustrations. Of course, this still being the Los Angeles metropolitan area, the bit of greenery he had pulled off by was merely the outskirts of someone’s lawn.

Lawn is a generous term here... Dan thought to himself as scanned his eyes over the mostly dead plants with only a few small collections of hardy-looking green plants seemingly thriving in the environment. This is some pampered, rich Los Angels plant graveyard. Stupid, dead lawn, stupid drought, stupid… EVERYTHING!

“DAN!”

Stupid Pinkie Pie!

His eyes only drifting slightly towards the sound of Pinkie’s voice, Dan considered his options. Pinkie had spotted him and had proven to have a faster land speed than Dan now that she had grown accustomed to life on Earth. Additionally, there was little to hide in or behind outside. He could make a break for the large, compound-like houses and subsequently break into one, but with it being the middle of the day, that was likely to attract attention of the flashing red-and-blue kind and he had enough problems today. Besides, running and hiding was likely to result in some sort of Merrie Melody type shenanigans he just wasn’t in the mood for.

Take a swing? It might help him blow off some steam, but Pinkie was no slouch in that department either and he could easily have a slugfest on his hands. Yelling might work, though Pinkie had no doubt built up many calluses to that as well, so if he was going to try that he’d have to make sure he said something especially cutting. Something that rocked her to the core and maybe left her feeling hurt and betrayed. Such an act couldn’t realistically be considered anything but vengeance in this case. Plus, Dan knew from experience that he had what it took to send Pinkie into a state where hope was dead and he was the one dancing on its grave.

… Pinkie’s right… I’m just a messed-up product of bad parenting and the Los Angeles Unified School District. Especially the Los Angeles Unified School District but ESPECIALLY bad parenting… Dan pondered that last thought for a moment. What little parenting there was to be had.

“Dan!” Pinkie said again as she closed within a few yards.

“Go away, Pinkie!”

Pinkie’s lower lip protruded slightly. “But, Dan—”

Grumbling to himself. Dan pitched his keys at Pinkie. Though surprised, she still managed to catch them and clutch them to her chest.

“Go!” Dan ordered. “Just… just walk back to the car and take off… I’ll go walk up to one of those two houses and start maybe yelling at one of the owners about landscaping…”

“Dan! That’s ridiculous!”

“You’re right…” Dan replied. “Houses that big… they probably have hired help to do that sort of thing…” He frowned heavily. “I only know what little High School Spanish I could learn before I pummeled the teacher with a pair of maracas.”

“Uh, I know Spanish,” Pinkie said.

“… Wait, since when!?” Dan exclaimed.

“Since… before we met?” Pinkie said. “I mean… if you give me a minute or two I could probably come up with a song about landscaping.”

“In… Spanish...”

“Yeppers!” Pinkie replied, nodding her head up and down enthusiastically.

Dan threw his hands up into the air. “How do horses have Spanish?!” Dan cried. “How does that make any kind of sense?!”

Pinkie glanced down at the ground as she tapped an index finger against her chin. “You ask good questions… Uh… We’re getting off topic. I—”

Dan sighed and shook his head. “Pinkie shenanigans…” he mumbled. He pointed past Pinkie. “You were going to take those keys and leave.”

Pinkie frowned. “I’d think I’d remember if that was what I was going to do… Plus, I can’t drive.”

“Give the keys to Chris, you sexy imbecile!” Dan snapped.

“Oh… right…” Pinkie turned and took a couple of steps before her forehead tightened. “Hey, wait a minute!” she exclaimed as she turned around and took a few steps closer.

“You coming closer to me is the opposite of ‘go away!’” Dan said.

“We can’t just leave you out here! We need you!”

Dan rolled his eyes. “You have Ashley! I’m sure with that big mouth he can just talk the zombies to the point where they realize coming back to life wasn’t worth it and they’ll seek the sweet release of death again! Plus, I’m not convinced this world’s Applejack has met a problem she’s been unable to punch her way out of.”

“Okay, but Elise needs you!” Pinkie insisted.

Dan rolled his eyes. “Pass… In fact, leaving her to her fate is sort of a bonus.”

“But… but… If you save her, you get to rub her face in it, like… for forever!”

Dan clasped his hands together, his index fingers pointing skyward as he brought them to his chin. He seemed to seriously consider Pinkie’s proposition for a moment. “Hmmm… Tempting… but, no!”

Pinkie sighed. “Well I still need you!” Pinkie gave Dan a pleading look. “I mean… How’s a cute little-pony-turned-human like me going to be okay in the big city fighting zombies?”

Dan waved a dismissing hand. “Oh, please. That line might have worked on me a month or two back, but I know you better than anyone you’re more than capable of taking care of yourself.”

“… Chris needs you?”

“… Well… you’re not wrong…” Dan said, tapping a finger against his chin. “The man is hopeless. Some might even say a lost cause!” He shook his head. “Still, even with the dual anchor’s that are Ashley and Chris, I’m sure you girls can handle this.”

Pinkie frowned heavily. “Well, then what about Elle? I’m sure she’ll need her dad…”

Dan narrowed his eyes and turned, focusing his ire on a nearby palm tree. “Recent evidence suggests otherwise,” he said dryly.

Pinkie gave Dan a dejected look. “Dan, I’m sorry I said that mean thing about you… I guess… I don’t know… I know Elle isn’t ‘our daughter’ our daughter, but I didn’t like watching you hit her… Still, that was like… super-duper mean of me to say and I’m sure I hurt your feelings!”

“You being sorry doesn’t make me a better person, Pinkie.”

The color drained from Pinkie’s face. Her lips began to open and shift as if she was forming words, but no sound came out.

Dan let out a sigh and walked over to the shade the palm tree was providing. He plopped down under it and patted the spot behind him a couple times. Pinkie let the barest hints of a smile encroach upon her face as she walked up to where Dan had patted the ground. She spun around and sat down, placing her back against his.

The two sat in silence for a bit as their emotions ate at them from within and the tension eroded their spirits from within.

After what seemed like a pause that had gone from ‘pregnant’ to ‘the once-child has finally succumbed to the ravages of time and old age’, Pinkie spoke. “Hey, Dan… This happens in Comics, TV shows, Anime, and movies, right? Like… Future children just show up out of the blue and the heroes have to deal with it?”

Dan inhaled then let out an elongated sigh, “Yeah…”

“So, uh, how do they deal with that thing I just said?” Pinkie said as her right hand began to crawl finger by finger closer to Dan.

Dan frowned slightly. “They kinda just… I don’t know… Don’t act like a big deal unless something really bad happens, I guess…”

“Oh…” Pinkie replied, her right hand having slowing reached Dan’s left and firmly wrapping around it. “Well, I think that sucks.”

“… Yeah,” Dan agreed. He shook his head. “Better than just hitting them, I suppose.”

“Well, at least you have some idea of what to do even if it’s a bad one!” Pinkie exclaimed. Pinkie shook her head. “I just… I look at Elle and I don’t know how I’m supposed to act around her!” Pinkie groaned. “She’s mine and yet she isn’t! I don’t know how future Pinkie raised her or anything! Did she let Elle stay up late every night? How many of her meals per day were cake and ice cream based? And just how mindful was future Pinkie in regards to telling Elle not to run with scissors?!”

Dan turned and cocked his head, an eyebrow slightly raised. “You think that’s how Elle lost that eye?”

Pinkie shrugged her shoulder. “I don’t know! I mean… What do you think happened?”

Dan motioned out into the air with his free hand. “The girl clearly lost it in whatever horrible future war she came from. I mean… The safe money is on android uprising.”

“Well, yeah… probably, I mean… about the future war thing… I personally think interdimensional beings, but guess that’s more of a personal fear.” Pinkie said. She frowned heavily. “Well, if Elle is here… What the heck happened to us?”

Dan’s eyes tightened. “Nothing good, I’d imagine…”

Pinkie pulled her knees up to her chest, holding her legs with her free hand. “Do you think… Do you think she knew how much we loved her, er, before we went?”

Dan said nothing.

Pinkie continued as she stared up into the clear blue sky. “I’m mean… it’s us… right? So, she must have… or…” Pinkie swallowed, “… do… do you think we both died while she was young?” Pinkie’s eyes began to fill with tears. “Do you think she grew up scared and alone? That wondered who her parents w-were while sh-she just t-tried her hardest—” Pinkie broke off her sentence with a sorrowful cry as she gripped Dan’s hand with all her strength.

Silently with a face cast in stone, Dan turned, retrieving his hand as he did.

Pinkie froze, her breath catching in her throat.

Dan wrapped his arms around Pinkie. Pinkie immediately turned, burying her face into Dan’s chest. Dan held on tightly as Pinkie poured out emotions and tears into the word ‘JERK’ printed in big white letters on his chest.

After some time, Dan spoke up, “Even if I was around, I don’t know if Elle even believes that I loved her.”

Pinkie suddenly went rigid as she slowly raised glassy, sky-blue eyes up to stare up Dan. “Dan… You are not your parents.”

“… Recent…”

“IF YOU SAY ‘RECENT EVIDENCE SHOWS OTHERWISE’ AGAIN, I WELL DECK YOU IN THE SNOOZE.”

Dan clamped his mouth shut.

“Hey!” A blonde haired woman with a head full of curly hair called out. “This is private property! You two need to clear off or I’ll call the—”

Pinkie smacked a palm into the dirt and brought it back up with her blue nail-polished fingers wrapped around a rock. “WE’RE HAVING A F#@%ING MOMENT HERE!” she shrilled as she let the impromptu projectile sail.

The rock found its mark and the woman’s head jerked with the impact before swaying once as she collapsed to the ground filled with browned and baked plants.

“Huh…” Dan uttered. “Well… at least she had the guts to come out herself— Hey!” Dan’s emerald eyes snapped wide as Pinkie grabbed the side of his head stared down at him with a serious expression that would make a case of cardiac arrest’s heart skip a beat.

You’re grumpy, violent, and more than likely a horrible influence on my behavior, but you are not a bad person… Okay?”

Slowly, a smile cracked the rocky exterior of Dan’s face. “Okay,” he answered.

Pinkie also smiled. “Okay.”

Dan glanced in the direction of the fallen woman. “We should uh… Leave-Whoa!” There was a yank on his hand as Pinkie pulled him back towards the car.

“Leaving now!” Pinkie exclaimed.

Dan’s forehead crinkled slightly. “Okay, but is that woman still unconscious? I mean… that’s gotta be super bad for her…”

“Leaving now!” Pinkie reiterated. With that, Pinkie broke into double speed, practically dragging Dan along as she rushed back to the car and her daughter.

>-~Earlier~-<

Elle let out a heavy sigh of frustration as she watched her younger-than-she-remembered-but-still-slightly-older-than-her other-dimensional mother trudge off after her younger-than-she-remembered-but-still-slightly-older-than-her other-dimensional father, Pinkie likewise scaling a chain-link fence and ascending a green covered hill.

“I have several questions,” Chris said from the seat across from Elle.

A pregnant pause filled the backseat of the hatchback as Elle put on a contemplative expression. Eventfully, Elle give birth to a response, “Well, for starts, I’m from the future, an alternative future at least.”

“I’m not sure that actually reduces the amount of questions,” Chris added.

“You really believe she’s from the future?” Ash’s disbelieving voice asked from the phone.

“Alternative future!” Elle corrected harshly.

“Hey, I don’t give a shit if you tell me you came from Moonbase Alpha in whatever time you’re from. I mean… I’ve heard a lot of BS sounding stories in just the last hour or so, but brother, let me tell you this takes the shit-cake.”

“… You need to work on your metaphors,” Applejack commented. “Or maybe just avoid them entirely.”

“Nice to see you’re still in my corner throwing anything not nailed down in my direction, babe.”

“‘S what Ah’m here for… Also, that. Ah mean… Was that, like… an attempt at a boxin’ metaphor?”

Ash let out a heavy sigh. “Maybe we can dig up some hacked up pieces of my dead girlfriend you can throw at me while you’re at it.”

“… Okay, now that was a pretty good one all things considering,” Applejack admitted.

“Anyhow,” Ash continued, “I’m guessing you’re not having trouble swallowing this bull-hooky?”

“Eh,” Applejack replied, “Ah kinda think the whole undead possession thing is what you and I should focus on. Ah mean… It’s not exactly gonna help if we get tied up in all this ‘future daughter stuff’. That being said, Elle… we’re not gonna, ya know… be attacked by Terminators or nothin’ while we’re out fightin’ the undead, right?”

“Uh…” Elle thought about the question. “I don’t think so…” Elle replied.

“Shouldn’t you know?” Ash asked.

Chris nodded. “He makes a good point.”

Elle threw her hands up in the air. “Look, I came from an alternative future that’s sort of been eaten by me creating a paradox that wiped it out! Pretty much everything is new or different now! I’m not your freakin’ crystal ball! Geez!”

“… So you already took care of the Terminators?” Applejack asked.

“Uh… Kind of…?” Elle replied. “Ah mean, for sake of moving the plot forward, I’ll just say ‘yes’.”

Applejack let out a sigh of relief.

Ash’s voice piped up again, “… You’re more afraid of robots taking over then a horde of the evil dead?”

“If there are robots involved, Ah’d have to call my smart friends,” Applejack said. “And there’s sorta even odds if they’d be the ones responsible for the robot uprising.”

“Huh…” Ash answered. “Guess your life had its own weird baggage before you met me.”

“Well, I wouldn’t say this here undead stuff is just a drop in the bucket, but it’s not exactly a tsunami, ‘neither… Also, you should take notes, ‘cause that was a pretty good metaphor!”

Chris sighed. “I feeling we’re getting off topic again…”

“Maybe it’s just better if we scout out ahead,” Ash suggested. “You all seem neck-deep in the fecal matter of your own lives.”

“Also,” Applejack chimed in, “You could stand to come up with some more material that wasn’t manure-based. Just sayin’.”

Ash let out another sigh.

Elle piped up. “Er, you remember the part where the demon-possessed people had an arsenal at their disposal, right?”

“… Maybe it’s better AJ and I break for lunch,” Ash said.

“Fine, do that!” Elle snapped. “I’ve got a port-a-potty of my own that’s overflowing with problems and I can do without the color commentary. ‘Kay? Thanks! Bye.”

“See!” Applejack said. “Now she managed to do it while forcing everyone to think about it more! Now that’s how you do a shitty metaphor!”

Grumbling to herself, Elle quickly snatched the phone and ended the call. She tossed the phone at Chris’s lap. “Alright, Uncle Chris, what did you want to ask me?”

“Uh… First question… Uncle Chris?”

Elle’s face tightened. “That’s not even a sentence! But, okay… I’ve been calling you-a version of you-that since as long as I can remember. I mean… I guess I can go back to calling you ‘Chris’ or like… Alt-Uncle Chris?”

Chris chuckled. “Uncle Chris is fine… But… The future? I mean… What was that like, and how’d you end up here?”

Elle pursed her lips. “Think Terminator plus Day’s of Future Past meets TOK... er… The original Day’s of Future Past comic series in this case.” Elle chuckled. “Dad hates the movie.”

Chris’s face tightened. “Dan’s seen the movie…? How? It’s not even in theaters yet.”

“Oh, it’s not?” Elle giggled to herself. “I guess I kinda forgot what year it was.”

“Uh…”

Elle waved a dismissive hand about. “Time travel stuff… Don’t worry about it… What else did you want to know?”

Chris mulled this over a bit. There was still a wealth of things to dig deeper, but he decided to go with the things he had the most invested interest in. “So… recent events have nothing to do with you being sent back.”

Elle’s steel blue eye widened slightly and she took a deep breath. “Well… they sorta do considering I caused them.” Elle let out a sigh heavy with guilt. “Uncle Chris… I’m so sorry… I’m the reason Elise got possessed!”

Chris went silent as it was now again his turn to put on a contemplative look. “Well, these things sort of happen… I wish I could say they didn’t, but really… Weird stuff has been happening to me for quite some time so…” Chris smiled. “We just need to get Elise back to normal and everything will work out!”

Elle thought back to the impressive body count she and a pre-possessed Elise had already racked up. “Sure! Yes! Totally!” she said as an exaggerated smile appeared on her face. “Next question!” Elle said quickly.

“You said you already stopped the thing you were sent back for… What was it?”

“Oh, TOK sent some sort of super-powered doomsday entity…”

“… Like Nimrod?”

Elle nodded her head up and down enthusiastically. “Yep! But bigger… We had to turn you into a giant bear filled with stars to defeat it!”

Chris’s turquoise eyes shot open wide. “What?! I think I would remember that…”

Elle shrugged. “The whole paradox reset everything! I mean… I’d be gone except for Nexus shenanigans.”

“… Nexus shenanigans?”

“That’s what dad calls it when something too strange to explain happens and mom’s not the obvious culprit.” Elle giggled. “I got away with soooo many stolen cookies using that excuse until Elise figured out what I was doing.”

“Wish I had an excuse like that when I was growing up...” Chris mused. “Or, now even.”

Elle smiled. “Well, I got you in on it after a while…” Elle frowned. “Which, er… is kinda how Elise started to figure out what was going on.” Elle let out a forlorn sign. “That was before things got bad…”

“TOK apocalypse bad?” Chris asked.

“… Yeah…” Elle said as her vision once again drifted off to places and times far removed from now.

After a bit of silence, Chris turned and smiled. “Anything you need to teach me all over again? You know… Uncle Chris stuff?”

Elle awoke with from her stupor with a giggle. “Well… Yeah… Nice, Terminator 3 reference, by the way.”

“Not too obscure?” Chris asked.

Elle shook her head. “Not with my dad… But…” Elle gave Chris a small smile. “No offense, but I don’t like thinking about the past-er-alternative future all the much.” Elle shook her head. “It’s all gone now, and that’s not all a bad thing… I mean… I do miss the older versions of everyone… But not waking up wondering if this is the day they ‘get’ me has its perks.”

Chris nodded. “Okay, but it must be weird, right? I mean… seeing everyone you knew, but younger than you remember?”

“You know… I’m just happy the buildings are all intact and there’s a lot less fire.” Elle smiled at Chris. “I can deal with everyone being younger just so long as they’re here! Still…” Elle put on a forlorn look. “It is a lot different than I remember…”

Wordlessly, Chris slowly reached over a hand and reassuringly placed it on Elle’s shoulder.

Elle raised a hand up to Chris’s. She turned and gave Chris a sheepish smile. “Er… Uncle Chris… Is it okay if I hug you?”

Chris smiled. “Sure. Lay it on me.”

Elle smiled and undid her seatbelt as she crawled onto Chris’s lap and wrapped her arms around Chris. “Hmmm…” she purred out. “I missed this…”

Chris returned the affection, if slightly nervously. “Uh… Heh… That’s quite a hug…” Chris said to the adult woman in the tattered body-suit.

“Oh, oops!” Elle said with a sheepish grin as she scooted off Chris’s lap and back to her seat. “Hehe… Sorry!” Elle’s cheeks turned slightly pink. “Guess I’m a little big for that now.”

“It’s fine,” Chris said. He chuckled nervously. “I just hope no one sees you doing that and gets the wrong idea.”

Elle pursed her lips in concern as she stared at the window. “Uh… Like my dad?”

Chris nodded. “Exactly like your dad…” Chris’s face tightened. “He’s right outside, isn’t he?”

Chris’s door was thrown open and a fist was roughly thrown into the side of his face with a ‘POW!’

“OW!” Chris exclaimed.

Elle sighed. “Yes,” she answered Chris.

“The heck do you think you’re doing!?” Dan roared, Pinkie standing behind him.

Chris turned to face his accuser right before he put his arms in front of his face to fend off any more face pummeling. “Dan, it’s not what it looks like!”

“Well, it looks like you were getting a super-hug from our daughter before Pinkie and I could get one!”

Elle’s eye widened in surprise and she let out a joyous squee.

“Oh…” Chris replied, rubbing his cheek. “Okay, then it was exactly what it looked like.”

Scowling, Dan let loose another punch into Chris’s arm.

“Ow! Sorry! We were having a moment!”

Dan narrowed his eyes and grumbled as he walked towards the front of the car. Pinkie just smiled at Elle and Chris. “I’m a little jealous, too…” she admitted. “But it was really cute…”

A huge smile broke out on Elle’s face. “Well, we can always hug now!” she suggested.

Dan threw open the driver’s side door, fell into the seat, and buckled his seatbelt. “Hugs later!” Dan exclaimed. “Moments ruined.”

Elle and Pinkie simultaneous puffed out their lower lips into a pout. “But—”

“RUINED!” Dan reiterated as he slammed his door shut.

Pinkie let out a disappointed sigh as Elle let out an annoyed ‘Humph!’ before turning to look out her window with a grumpy expression, though one devoid of the apprehension she had been wearing before.

“Everyone get in and buckle up!” Dan demanded. “We need to go!”

Elle grumpily put her seatbelt back on.

Chris let out a sigh and reached out to close his door. “Well, it’s about time! I’m not sure how long it’s okay to be ‘possessed’ but I’m going to take a wild guess and say ‘for as short a time as possible’!”

“Not that!” Dan said as Pinkie opened the passenger-side door, sat down, and buckled her seatbelt. “We need to leave before we also have to deal with the cops on top of everything else!” Dan explained as Pinkie shut her door.

Chris narrowed his eyes. “You assaulted someone, didn’t you?”

Dan’s eyes shifted in Chris’s direct as he began scowling. “You know what they say about when you assume about assaults, Chris.”

“I’m pretty sure ‘they’ don’t have a saying about—”

“You make a double ass out of yourself, is what!”

“Dan, that doesn’t make any se—”

“Pinkie committed assault,” Dan informed before turning back to start the car. His hands patted his pockets and his scowl tightened.

Chris turned and narrowed his eyes at Pinkie who giggled sheepishly and shrugged. “Sorry! Dan and I were kinda having a big talk and this woman was interrupting, and not in a polite way!”

“So you what? Thrashed her?!”

Dan wordlessly held out his hand in front of Pinkie.

“I threw a rock at her!” Pinkie said as she placed the car keys in Dan’s hand. “She just… uh… kinda went down like a sack of flour after that…”

Chris pursed his lips. “Well… is she alright?”

Dan piped up. “Isn’t one woman to worry about enough for you, Chris?! I mean, are you really that selfish you feel you need to concern yourself with all women?”

Chris let out a groan and turn, opting to look out his window as Dan started the car.

Elle’s grumpy expression slowly began to melt and she turned to look at Chris, tapping him on his shoulder.

Chris turned to see Elle’s smiling face.

“Different,” Elle said, “but close enough,” she said placing a hand on the middle seat.

Chris returned the smile and grasped Elle’s hand, giving it a little squeeze.

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