• Published 27th Jun 2018
  • 6,865 Views, 732 Comments

Broken Bindings - anonpencil



You've found an "interesting" book recently. You don't know what it is, or why it was hidden in the back of Twilight's library, but you feel so compelled to read it. And keep reading it. And keep reading it...

  • ...
12
 732
 6,865

Page 12

~*~

Like I said, it might not be as polished as the others, but it's one that I really feel inside. And yes, that's definitely a joke, as well as a hint! If you didn't guess yet, the answer is blood! Blood stays with you until you die, it's always running through you, you feel it pounding when you're afraid, you see it when you get hurt, and it's in every part of your body pretty much, even your brain.

I know a lot of ponies are scared of it, but honestly? Blood is just a part of us, a tool our bodies use to stay alive. It's useful. It has purpose, and it has power. It's the fuel that helps us achieve our goals.

I... don't really have blood anymore, but I guess the bright side of that is that I can't bleed or even really get hurt. I remember pain, sure, but the memory of it only hurts so much. It more hurts my mind, as a concept or memory, the only thing I really feel is this book moving around me.

I do sometimes go back to remembering when I was a filly, though.

Once, way back when I was little, when I was the only child in my family, another filly named Sundance would sometimes come over to play. Her parents didn't like her playing near my house, because they said it was dangerous there, so we'd go out to a meadow between our two homes. We'd play tag, and search for hidden treasures, like wild potatoes, special rocks, all manner of things children inexplicably find precious. She was so brave, she was always so fast and so bold, whereas I was often timid, and I could never keep up with her.

I sometimes wonder if I would have noticed the gopher hole, had I been running in front that day.

Either way, she was in front, faster than me as always, and she put her hoof right into a gopher hole. Her momentum carried forward onto the ground, and at first I thought she'd just tripped and fallen down. But then she was just screaming and screaming, and writhing in the grass. And when I caught up with her, I noticed that she'd broken her front leg. It had snapped cleanly, probably weak bones from poor living out in the country. And it had opened itself, until I could see inside. I remember the shine of the white, tinged pink, the way parts of it were still moving, and all the red. I remember I just stared.

Because it was the first time I'd really, truly seen blood like that. I couldn't look away. And even then, I wasn't afraid of the blood. I remember being horrified by the pain. I'd never heard anypony scream like that before, and it was a long time before I'd ever hear anything like that again.

But I remember. I remember every detail. Sinews, ligaments, flexing, holding together two halves of a bone once whole. The color the grass turned as blood dripped across it, almost like chocolate. I remember reaching for her, to help her, as if I could somehow put her back together, hold all of it inside. And I very clearly remember not being afraid of it. The blood.

I wasn't afraid. I'm not afraid.

Blood never scares me.


...

Oh my goodness, what am I saying?! That was so much detail, so in depth... You didn't need any of that! Just because I have to live with it, just because I still see it this clearly in my head, doesn't mean...

For all I know, you've never seen anything like that, this could make you sick to your stomach, or uncomfortable. I know I may have a had a weird life up until now, but I can't put that on you, or force you to listen to all that! That's... wrong! I was wrong. I'm sorry, the last thing I want to do is gross you out or freak you out so that you don't want to read anymore! There's nothing wro6ng per se with being distressed at the sight of blood, and if you feel that way, it's okay! I just got carried away with my memories, you do that sometimes too, right? I won't do it anymore, I can tone it down, go back to the fun stuff again!

I haven't hurt you, have I?

Please don't stop reading, I'll do better, I promise!

Please don't put down the book!

Please don't leave me here!

I'm sorry!