• Published 5th Apr 2018
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The Philosophical Substitute: Discord - CrackedInkWell



After the events of "Discord Teaches Philosophy," the Spirt of Chaos takes up the role of a Substitute. However, after spying on the main teacher, he decides to step in.

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Lesson 3: A Matter of Perspective

Author's Note:

I don't know if I was able to do Kierkegaard justice on Subjectivity but... here you go.

By the time Discord was able to conclude the last class of the day, he was once again in deep thought about what lesson he should teach tomorrow. He knew that if he had any hope of making the most of out his time of his class work, he had to figure out what sort of lessons that his students would be interested in.

But how exactly would I do that?” he muttered while floating on his back in loops in and through the halls of the school. “What sort of things would kids these days want other than questionable music and fads that would become quickly dated?” As he pondered over this, letting his mind (as well as his body) twist around in the air, without getting any luck. That was until he heard a familiar voice.

“Are the students treating you well, Discord?”

“Fluttershy!” his mood suddenly changed that into a happy one as he flipped over to hug his friend. “I didn’t see you there. How are you?”

“I had a good day so far.” She replied. “And what about you? Are you doing well with your students?”

“Oh fantastic so far! I can tell that my students like me because I’m not their average Philosophy teacher.”

“Speak of which, any word from Professor Forethought?”

Discord shrugged. “I can’t exactly say. All I know is that he's been sick for about a week or so.”

“Oh dear. I should make a note to get a fruit basket for him.”

“And none for me?” the Spirit of Random’s eyes grew wide as puppies.

She giggled. “I’m sure to get you one too when we have our tea party. Still, I should make him one for him too if he’s going to be missing out teaching for so long. Although I want to check up on you to see how you’re doing. This isn’t too much, isn’t it?”

“To be perfectly honest with you,” he said as he landed next to her. “The teaching I don’t mind, especially when I can make it both fun and interesting for those that want to hear it. However, I am facing a little problem.” Fluttershy asked what it was. “You see, in order for my lessons to work, I have to know what exactly in philosophy would want my students to be interested in to begin with. I mean, I got lucky yesterday when I overheard one of my students expressing a problem and was able to tailor a lesson around that. But what about the rest of them? What exactly would they want or need to learn about?”

“I’m afraid that I wouldn’t exactly know about that.” His friend confessed. “But, if I were you, I guess the best way to know is to simply ask them. School has just got out, so I think there should be a few of your students around.”

Discord face palmed. “I am such an idiot sometimes. Thank you Fluttershy,” he said as he began to float away, but paused as he craned his head back to her. “We’re still set for Thursday, right?” With a nod from her, he began his search.

Taking a periscope from hyperspace, he scanned through the school to see if he could find any familiar student of his. Looking this way and that, he studied the faces of creatures in hopes to find a face that he’d recognize. “You’d expect there’d be buffalo and Zebras in this school by now.” He muttered to himself before he found a target. Pushing the periscope upwards into nothing, he talked into his paw. “Beam me up, Scotty.”

In a blue light, he took himself before the door of the School Counselor's office just in time as a blue Changeling stepped out. Ocellus jumped when she spotted her teacher. “Mr. Discord!”

“Just the lady I’m looking for.” He said crouching down. “Could I talk to you for just a moment?”

She paled, “I’m not falling behind, am I?”

“Oh, I never said that. Trust me, if you were, I would have sent something over to you by now. If anything, I’m here to ask you a question and I’ll leave you alone until class tomorrow.”

“Uh… okay? What do you want to ask me about, Mr. Discord?”

“Is there any sort of… question about life in general that you’ve always wanted to know about but never have gotten a straight answer? Or maybe something useful that you wanted to know but the other teachers never could teach you about? Get what I’m saying?”

“Like what exactly?”

Discord shrugged. “Doesn’t matter, really. It could be anything from ‘What’s the point of life?’ or ‘Why do our leaders do what they do?’ or maybe, ‘What’s the best way to be happy?’ Things like that.”

“Well…” Ocellus began but trailed off as she looked between her and the councilor’s door. “Now that you’ve mentioned it, there is something that I have always been curious about.”

“That being?”

She looked up at him, right in the eyes and asked, “Why is there evil in the world?”

“Ooh!” Her teacher exclaimed. “That’s actually a good one!”

“Mr. Discord, why do you ask?”

“Well, let’s just say that I was struggling to come up with a topic for discussion tomorrow. And you,” he patted her head, “have just provided the talking point.”

“I did?” She cocked an eyebrow. “But you’re the teacher, I thought you have a plan?”

“Oh I do, but it’s all Swiss cheese. Now then,” Discord then tore open a portal in time. “If you excuse me, I have some research to do. I’ll be expecting you in class tomorrow.” With that, the Spirit of ex-Chaos, stepped into the past, leaving a confused Changeling in the present.


“So have you heard that Discord is going to be our teacher all week and probably the next?” Sandbar asked his fellow students.

“No, but I’m actually really excited to go to Philosophy for once!” Silverstream exclaimed. “What do you think we’re in for today?”

“I think I already know.” Ocellus said, thus getting the attention of her friends.

“How Ocellus know?” Yona inquired.

“He came up to me the other day and basically asked me to choose a topic for him. Then he opened a portal and… I don’t know what he’s been doing since.” Smolder asked her what the topic was. “I asked him why there is evil in the world.”

Gallus hummed as he put a claw to his beak. “Okay, now that would be interesting to know. Especially from his perspective as the guy was once a villain himself. Even if he’s nuttier than a fruitcake.”

The others agreed, and before they knew it, they'd reached the door of their classroom. Once it was opened, they walked out in what looked like a theater box that looked down at a stage and a packed audience full of Discords in various costumes. As soon as they opened the door, in fact, they heard their teacher’s voice announcing over the speakers of the theater.

And now fellow me’s, for our last act at the Bedlam Theater, we proudly present the one and only: The Swinging White Noise!

As the six students stepped further into the box, the saw in time the curtain opening to show a group of musicians that they too, look exactly like their teacher. One held a violin that was cut in half. Another at a double bass that had its neck cut in half and was using his hair for the strings. The third was at the drum set that was made up of nothing but plates. And the fourth held on the neck of a guitar… and nothing else.

When they began, at first it looked like they were playing a piece of soothing music that, despite the appearances of the instruments, was able to give out a relaxed, laid back sound. At first, the students were rather confused at such a puzzling set up. Smolder questioned Ocellus if she was sure what the lesson was today.

“I was sure of it.” She replied. “It seemed to me that that was the direction that he was going for.”

“Maybe it’s a matter of perspective.” All six jumped when they heard their teacher appear suddenly behind them, followed by a theater full of Discords shushing them.

“Mr. Discord,” Sandbar began, “what’s going on?”

“Well, it’s all part of today’s lesson. As some of you probably know, Ocellus has asked a rather fascinating question. One that has concerned philosophers for centuries: Why is there evil in the world? Of course, there are plenty of options for me to turn to, myself included. So, after some careful searching and asking a few questions, I think I found something promising.

“I’m going to be teaching you a guy that was a living contradiction as both one of the funniest and most depressing of thinkers. We are learning a few things from a pony that’s from the land of sweet-ish beet balls, ‘simple’ put together furniture and our guy from the New Helm, Soorin Carrotketgaard. While his name sounds like a weird type of carrot cake, he was a sickly little workaholic that probably produced one of the more reasonable ideas of why evil exists ever.”

When his students asked how he was able to do that. Discord gestured over to the stage. “Tell me, what music do you think they’re playing?”

The students took a moment to listen as at this point, the violinist was now sawing his instrument as his bow went across up and down all four strings, as if he lost his place and instead taking up a brand new, upbeat tune altogether. The other musicians took up this change in welcoming arms as they pass the melody around to play with.

“It’s folk song,” Yona said with confidence.

“I’d say it’s dancing music,” Silverstream commented as she found herself sawing. “It’s got a good beat too.”

“No, that can’t be right.” Sandbar looked over with skepticism. “I’m sure I’ve heard this before… Is this classical?”

Gallus rolled his eyes. “Oh c’mon guys, this is clearly gypsy. I recognize that rhythm and sound anywhere.”

“How would you know?” Smolder questioned with a raised eyebrow. “It just sounds like jumbled up noise to me.”

“I live in Griffonstone, some of us tend to go outside of it to become gypsies. Trust me, I know.”

Their teacher slithered between the Dragoness and the Changeling. “So what say you two, any idea what this is?”

They shrugged. “I don’t know.” Ocellus admitted, “I guess this is swing… maybe?”

“Don’t look at me, we don’t have music in the Dragon Lands.”

Discord stroked his goatee. “Now that’s interesting. Because while you all have different answers, none of you were wrong.”

“Huh?” the students collectively exclaimed as the theater shushed them again.

“I’ll explain it in good time. But for now, let me get to the very core of Carrotketgaard’s philosophy. While he talked on many subjects during his lifetime about two hundred years ago, and he wrote dozens upon dozens of books, sometimes three or four at once, every single one has an underlying theme. That being that in life, there are two kinds of truth that we encounter: the outward truth, and the inner truth.”

Smolder raised a claw at this point. “Why two? Doesn’t it make more sense to have one, all-encompassing truth and then call it a day?”

“You could if you wanted to go by the lazy route. But for our guy, it didn’t seem realistic. To him, they're really two kinds of truth, not one. In plain Equestrian, the outward truth in which is the stuff that anyone could prove by doing math, observation, and testing by consensus. For example, we commonly regard in saying that two plus two is four as being true first because a bunch of mathematicians said so. Then it goes around and through the public until there’s a majority that says that two and two is four to the point it becomes a part of the culture. Much like how all of you instantly walked in and noticed that they’re playing music as a consensus of what you’re hearing just now.

“However, the inner truth doesn’t work like that as it is much more personal. This truth is tested and tried by experience that each and every one of you is witnessing. Take for instance when I asked you all what kind of music they’re playing, all of you had a different answer. Here’s a question: how come that happened?”

Each of them pondered for a moment before Sandbar said. “Because… we judged it from what we’ve experienced?”

“Nail, meet hammer.”

“Huh?”

“Short for hitting the nail over the head, that’s exactly why. The inner truth is interpreted by each and every one of your experiences, knowledge, and memories. If anything, the stallion who invented this music, Blue Note, said it best when someone asked him what this music was about, he replied. ‘If ya have ta ask what jazz is, you’ll never understand the answer.’ Or in plain Equestrian, in order for any of you to understand what this music is, then you’d have to have some experience with it to get it. Without it, then this music would be just noise. For our guy, most truths are Inner as that’s how we get to know what is true. Perhaps another demonstration will further illustrate this.”

In a blink of an eye and a flash of light, his students now found themselves teleported into an Istallion restaurant as they were all crammed in a booth. “Look over at that table over there.” He told them as he pointed to a table that a couple sat, happily chatting away. “Take this moment to study what is about to happen and then all of you tell me what’s going on.”

The six of them did. A waiter came by with a tray and a silver dome in his aura. After placing it on the table, he uncovered a dish of a high piled spaghetti in red sauce. Suddenly, much to the student’s bewilderment, the stallion sitting at the table busted out crying and rushed out. Leaving behind an equally confused mare and waiter behind.

“What the hay?” Gallus spoke what was on their minds. “Did I miss something?”

“Is that guy going to be okay?” Ocellus asked concerned.

“Question,” Discord turned to them. “Based on what you’ve just seen, what is the truth of what had happened?”

“Stallion sad. No idea why.” Youna shrugged.

“That guy brought some noodles.” Silverstream then got an idea and waved at the waiter. “Excuse me, are noodles offensive? Are you being mean?”

“Noodles aren’t offensive in the slightest.” Sandbar pointed out. “The guy just burst out crying for no apparent reason.”

“Yeah… I’m stumped too.” Smolder scratched her head. “There was no build up at all. It just came out of nowhere.”

“But there has to be a reason.” Ocellus commented. “I don’t know about you, but no one cries like that without a reason to do so.”

“Like what? A plate of noodles murdered his family?” Gallus joked.

“So based on what you just saw.” Discorded interjected, “What can you conclude from what you’ve just witnessed?”

“I say the guy must be cracked.” Smolder leaned back in the booth. “That’s gotta be it, right? He’s clearly crazy.” The other students agreed.

“From an Outward Truth, yes. But notice that you came to that answer based on nothing more than observation and logic. However, the Inner Truth works completely different. Here, let me show you what I mean.” With a snap of his talons, the booth was picked up and the scene rewinds very quickly. While everything moved at great speed around them, the only thing that was constant as they traveled backward in time, was the stallion that left out crying.

Their teacher stopped as they’ve reached a certain point in that stallion’s life when he was as a colt. They were in the same restaurant, in the same place and their teacher pointed over to the same table that the same stallion sat there before. This time, he was next to what looked like his parents.

“Watch and learn.” He said as he glanced over to that table. The students watched as a different waiter placed a plate of spaghetti down and returned to the kitchen. While the parents started to take the first few bites and the mother proceeds to cut some of the noodles into smaller bite-size for the colt. The waiter comes rushing back out in a panic. “Don’t take another bite!” He cried, but it was too late as the parents turned into tomatoes.

Besides the crying from the colt, Discord turned to the shocked students and asked. “So, now that you’ve experienced what the guy went through, what is the truth in this case and the one you saw previously?”

Me and my big fat beak.” Gallus moaned as he covered his face in shame.

“That’s awful,” Silverstream said. “I mean, considering what he went through…”

“So that's why pony cried when saw noodles?” Yona asked, her face too was sympathetic.

“Okay, I take what I said back.” Smolder added, “I didn’t know that… wow…”

Discord waved his lion’s paw, in which the scene changed that to a dimmed art gallery. After getting up and his students doing the same, he leads them into the darkness.

“That is the thing about Inner Truth, the only way for anyone to fully comprehend it is to experience it on a personal level as well. However, there is a problem with this, as that the only way to get to know that said truth, is to undergo and witness exactly the same actions that someone has. Notice how quickly that you’ve changed your consensus once you experienced that stallion’s misfortune with noodles.

“With Carrotketgaard, that’s how we all experience life is through interpreting truth by our individual experiences. To understand it by our Inner Truths means to expand our boundaries of what anything means for us personally. However, since every one of our experiences with how, where, with who we grow up, no two lives cannot be exactly alike. You can say that we can’t examine something like… morality outwardly. It has to be an Inward thing as how we interpret it that is the closest thing the truth we could ever get.”

Discord encouraged his students to look around at this gallery to see what they all have in common. The six of them dispersed as they took a closer look at the artwork that was hanging on the walls. All of them showed all the world’s greatest heroes and villains. All of which were portraits that highlighted their noblest, or contrariwise, their worst of deeds. From Queen Novo leading her kingdom to safety under the sea, to King Sombra enslaving a whole empire in chains. From the thievery of Arimaspi of stealing the Idol of Boreas, to Dragon Lord Ember bringing order to her kind. Each picture showed a hero and villain that all the students both knew, and many were surprised as at the back, there was a pair of double self-portraits of their teacher. One showed him as the Lord of Chaos, while the other accepted Professor Fluttershy’s friendship.

“So,” their teacher asked the question again, “What do all of these heroes and villains have in common?”

Ocellus hummed in thought. “Well… At first glance, absolutely nothing. Some of them like Queen Chrysalis don’t have a single thing in common with those that defeated her.”

“You’re looking from an Outward perspective. What about Inwardly, what do all of these rainbows of characters have in common?”

It took a good solid minute for the six of them to ponder over until Yona came up with something. “They have their own view of truth?”

Their teacher clapped. “I think we have a winner! Have a snow cone.” He presented her prize of a cherry red snow cone that was on fire.

“Uh…” Yona stared at the flammable treat. “Yona not hungry.”

“Suite yourself.” Their teacher shrugged as he tossed it over his shoulder, in which it hit the portrait of the Storm King. “But yes, it is because that everyone sees what is true differently. For the first time, Carrotketgaard has illustrated exactly why we have arguments over what’s right or wrong. It explains why it’s really, really hard to change someone else’s mind is that for the most part, we either try to resolve their issues by either debating or fighting, issues that are really rooted in each other’s experience. In a way, in his view, one of the reasons why there’s so much intentional evil in the world, is because those that we deemed to be ‘the bad guys’ actually have a different experience and interpretation of life than anyone else does. But, (and this is a pretty big but here) he’s not at all saying that their interpretation of what is true, isn’t wrong. If anything, both good and bad guys, when it comes to what they think is true, are all correct from their individual perspectives.”

Gallus raised a claw to make an objection. “That can’t be right, that’s crazy!”

“Oh?” He slithered until he was in his student’s face. “Care to share your answer why with the class?”

“Are you honestly saying that it’s alright for me to just do any of these diabolical things and say that I’m doing it because I think it’s the right thing to do?”

“Yes.” Discord said, stunning his students. “Think how each and every one you see in this gallery justifies everything they’ve done. That to them, they think they’re doing it because it was the right thing to do. However, from their perspective that if they looked at the other things that anyone besides them have done, some of them would see it as either ineffective or wrong. I mean, look at me. If any of you came to me some years ago and told me that my mixing up reality for fun was wrong, I would have laughed. Hard. But that was because I didn’t know what things like friendship, kindness, temperance, and (to a degree) being restrained really meant because up until I met Fluttershy, I never had experience with these, nor care for it. After that, even I learned an important lesson.”

“What was that?” Silverstream asked.

“One can see clearly, only with the heart. Anything essential, is invisible to the eyes. Because Inner truth is always invisible and is only known to those that experienced this firsthand. Anyone could look, sound and behave exactly like a goodie-two-shoes – yet can miss the entire core experience of what it means to be good. For it’s not about how you grew up, or that society expects it of me, or even out of habit and never considered any alternative. You could go through all the motions, and never be good as you’re just following the sheep to somewhere. It is only if you’d experience these things for yourself, could you really understand.”

With a wave of his tail, they returned to the same theater box, with the same performance going on. “Likewise, it was the same with all of you in how you interpreted this music. However, Smolder was the most interesting as she said that it sounded like jumbled up noise to her. Since she hasn’t had experience with music in general, she is correct with her truth. But likewise, so are the rest of you. In reality, this is Jazz, Classical, Folk, Gypsy and Dancing all rolled into one, if not perhaps, even more. For yes, what you all think it was based on what you know about music is all indeed true. But it’s not the only truth, as it is much wider than that.”

“So what you’re saying,” Sandbar mused, “Is that the reason why there’s evil is because of misunderstandings?”

Discord shrugged. “That, and boredom. Carrotketgaard thought that out of the two, he considers boredom to be the root of all evil. But hey, I guess that’s only his perspective.”

“But that alone raises a question.” Ocellus said, “If most evil that isn’t natural is caused by how creatures see what is true, how then can we change their minds to prevent hurting anyone?”

Their teacher hummed in thought. He was thankful that the school bell rang in which he told the young Changeling that he’ll come up with an answer tomorrow. After they exited through the door and returned to the school, Discord dissolved the theater to restore it back to its original classroom.

“She does have a point.” He said to himself. “How exactly does anyone change their mind? How did I change my mind for that matter?” After pacing around a little, he struck upon an idea. With a snap of his talons, time froze, and he conjured up a time portal to a specific place in history. He smiled at who he saw on the other side, “Plato, my wisecracking stallion!” He greeted as he stepped through, “Mind if I ask you something?”