~*~
I...
I think I'm okay now.
I got carried away again, I just... it's hard to contain it sometimes. It still hurts so much to think about. But I know it's not important right now. That's not what you're here for. That's not your job.
I know. I understand that. And I'm sorry I put any of that on you to deal with. You deserve better than that.
But...
I also hope that you don't run from me at hearing this. I hope I didn't scare you, upset you, or hurt you. I don't want to do that. Instead... if it's not too much to hope, I hope you still want to read. I hope you'll embrace me, even when you see me fall apart. I hope that we're still friends. And, although I have never seen your face or heard your voice, I still do consider you a friend. You can call me one too, if you like. And I hope that, even if I'm weak sometimes, or pathetic, that you don't push me away. Because... you mean so much to me.
It may seem sad to you but... I think you're the best friend I've ever had.
That sounds really pathetic, just looking at those words on the page. I mean, I've never really met you! I've never seen your face or anything! But even without really knowing you in person, it's still true.
I mean, you've kept reading, you've let me keep talking in my own way. You've let me open up, create things, write riddles, recite sweet old songs, tell you all about the kind of pony I was, the kind of being I am now. And no one has ever done that to me before.
I don't know if you feel anything for me. Maybe you hate me. Maybe you're just reading this to string me along, make fun of me, laugh at all this. But I don't think so. I don't think you're that type of person. Wishful thinking, perhaps, but I can choose to believe in you. And I do. At least on my side of the paper, you're my best friend. And I'm really, really glad you're still here.
So, thank you. For this, for all the little things that this has added up to for me. For challenging my abilities, pushing me, letting me crumble at the edges. Thank you for staying.
I care about you. As I said, you are my sky. Don't forget that.