The Wheel and the Butterfly A Dan X Pinkie Pie Saga

by Justice3442


Part 10 Dan & Pinkie Vs. Interspecies Relationship: Chapter 73: Pinkie Vs. Explanations

The Wheel and the Butterfly
A Dan X Pinkie Pie sagaPart 10 Dan & Pinkie Vs. Interspecies Relationship
Chapter 73: Pinkie Vs. Explanations

-ooooooo-

 Dan closed the apartment door and began trudging down the walkway towards the stairs.

Well, she’s still a bit freaked out…

Anyone could see that…

…I mean, if they could see past the part where she’s now a pony…

Man…how am I going to keep from throttling a customer without Pinkie around?

Even when she’s having a bad time, at least she’s there right beside me!

Heck, I’m not even sure how I’m going to keep from throttling my own employees!

Dan continued his short walk towards the bakery.

Well, desperate times call for desperate measures…

-ooooooo-

Pinkie grumbled to herself as she rolled from side to side under the bed covers.

Grrrrrr!” she kicked at the covers in frustration.

I’ve tried counting sheep, counting electric sheep… I tried to think about how boring black is, but I just keep on remembering how awesome a color pink is and how great black looks next to it!

Maybe I need to think about something calming…

Like a nice, pristine waterfall…water cascading endlessly over the edge into a clean sparkling river. A long river that curves and flows for miles and miles! Yep, just an endless stream of water…gallons and gallons of water flowing on, and on, and on…

…Great…

Now I need to go to the bathroom…

Pinkie sighed and threw off the covers and hopped out of bed. She made her way into the bathroom and pushed the door closed with a forehoof.

Thankfully, toilets, though not designed for her species, were still easy enough to use.

It was opening the door back up that wasn’t going to be fun. Normally knobs shouldn’t have been an issue, but she had begun to note her hooves seemed to be as useful as flat, hard, unopposable end of an arm in this world.

After washing and drying her forehooves, Pinkie walked over to the door. Her earls flopped down around her head as she looked up at the knob with wide, watery eyes.

Well, this is going to be gross…but it’ll work…

Pinkie stood up on her hind legs, braced herself against the door and placed her teeth around the knob. She tilted her head to turn the knob and began backing up, opening the door.

Pinkie lowered herself back to the ground. “Bleh!” she cried, sticking out her tongue. She glanced at a drawer under the sink and trotted over to it. She hooked the end of a hoof under the handle and managed to pull out the drawer a bit.

Pinkie stood up and leaned against the bathroom counter and stuck her head into the open drawer. She fished out a squeeze bottle of toothpaste with her mouth and placed it on the counter. She glanced over to a couple of toothbrushes, one pink, the other black, standing upright out of a cup, leaned her head forward and grabbed the pink one with her teeth.

Pinkie sat the tooth brush down next to the toothpaste.

Great!

…Now how am I going to do this?!

After many failed attempts to get toothpaste onto toothbrush, Pinkie finely gathered the brush between both hooves and began awkwardly scrubbing at her teeth.

This bites…

…literally and repeatedly…

Uhg…I really hope Dan has been keeping his hands clean, there’s going to be a lot of me putting my mouth over door knobs around here…

Pinkie sighed.

And Dan putting his hands on Pinkie Pie slobber…maybe I should add rubber gloves to the shopping list…

Finished brushing her teeth, Pinkie sat down the brush, turned on the bathroom tap and quickly rinsed her tooth brush. She followed this up with a quick gurgle and gave her mouth a quick rinse.

Pinkie lowered herself back to all fours, turned to the door, reached out for the doorknob, and accidently closed the door again.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

-ooooo-

Pinkie trotted out of the bathroom and glanced into the bedroom.

Well, sleeping isn’t working at all.

I seemed to do okay for a bit with Dan holding me…

Of course, I just had to send him off to work…

Stupid Pinkie promise I made while I was freaking out…

She glanced at the kitchen, still a bit of a disaster from her messy, but mostly successful, attempt at making breakfast.

Well, cleaning up AGAIN will help kill some time…

Hmmm… guess Dan will have to pick up more cleaning supplies at this rate…

Oh, I know!

When I’m done, I can brew myself some nice, calming, relaxing chamomile tea…

Maybe that’ll even help me nod off for a bit!

 Yeah…I’ll just surround myself with peace and quiet and avoid anything to rile me up…

-ooooo-

“DO YOUR ‘GOODFELLAS’ MOVE!” Pinkie screamed at the T.V. as she feverishly stomped on the controller underneath her. “DO YOUR ‘GOODDFELLAS’ MOVE, YOU MOTHER-BUCKER! DON’T MAKE ME COME IN THERE! I’LL DO IT!

“Alright, alright, show’s over.”

 “GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!” Pinkie growled out through clenched teeth.

“Meow?” Mr. Mumbles mewed, looking up from her own controller.

Pinkie glanced over at the cat with big, watery, sky-blue eyes, “Maybe later…I don’t think video games are really helping me relax…” Pinkie mused. “Oh! Tea!” she exclaimed. She glanced over at a steaming mug on the coffee table, reached out a forehoof towards it and immediately pushed it off the table into a pile of broken mugs.

WHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYY! TEA, I TRUSTED YOU!”

Pinkie glanced over at the digital readout on the microwave.

“7 A.M.!” she cried. “That’s a sensible time for ponies to be awake, right, RIGHT?!

“Meow?” Mr. Mumbled replied.

Pinkie dashed towards the bedroom, threw open the sliding door to her closet and quickly removed the blanket from over her mirror with her teeth.

Behind the giant, glowing, purple font that read ‘Mute’, Pinkie could see the empty, brightly lit library.

“GRRR! I can’t wait any longer!” Pinkie cried.

She leaned up on her back legs and began feverously tapping at the glass of the mirror.

-o-

‘Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap…’

Twilight Sparkle groggily came to as she heard the fevered tapping on glass.

Goodness, what could that…PINKIE

Twilight was out of bed in a flash. She threw off her covers and leapt out of bed, spreading her wings to slow her descent as she jumped to the floor below.

She saw Pinkie behind the glowing ‘MUTE’ sign as she stared at the mirror. With a purple glow from her horn, the sign was gone and Pinkie’s smiling, nervous face was in full view.

“Pinkie! What’s wrong? Is it TOK?!” Twilight cried.

“Nopper!” Pinkie replied. “Dan and I already took care of them!”

“WHAT?!” Twilight exclaimed in disbelief.

“Yep!” Pinkie said cheerfully. “They tried to kidnap me and ended up taking Dan as well! Then Dan punched them in the face!”

WHAT?! HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?!”

Pinkie raised her forehooves into a shrug. “I have no idea, but that’s not really important right now.”

“HOW CAN THAT NOT BE IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW?! YOU TWO GOT KIDNAPPED, AND DAN, who has NO magical ability as far as I can tell, MANAGED TO FEND TOK OFF?!”

“Actually, he and I managed to kill quite a few of them…” Pinkie said matter of factually. “But it’s still not the most important thing right now!”

“I DON’T UNDERSTAND!” Twilight cried. “HOW CAN THAT NOT BE THE MOST IMPORTANT THING?!”

“Uh, Twilight…look at me.”

“I AM looking at you!”

Spike suddenly wandered into view, rubbing his eyes sleepily as he did.

Yaaaawn…What’s with all the screaming?” Spike paused and his eyes opened wide as he looked at Pinkie. “Hey, Pinkie! You’re a pony again, nice!”

“No, not nice, Spike,” Pinkie replied. “Not nice at all…”

Twilight’s eyes widened as if she was noticing Pinkie for the first time. “WHAT?! WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN!”

Spike recoiled slightly from Twilight’s shouting and stuck a claw behind one of the green fins on his face. He wiggled it about as if to clear something from his ear. “Wow. Rude.”

“When I got kidnapped by TOK, d’uh!” Pinkie said.

“I THOUGHT YOU SAID THAT WASN’T IMPORTANT!”

Spike placed both his claws over the fins on his head. “Twilight, you should maybe consider chilling out a little.”

“No, I mean…the fact that I was kidnaped wasn’t important is what I meant.” Pinkie qualified.

Knock, knock

“I’ll get it!” Spike answered enthusiastically as he walked towards the Library door.

“Okay…let me get this straight…” Twilight said calmly.

Pinkie quietly nodded her head.

“You got kidnapped by TOK,” Twilight stated.

Pinkie nodded.

“But that’s not important…”

Nod.

“…because Dan and you were able to defend yourselves.”

Nod.

“And now you’re a pony again.”

“Well…obviously,” Pinkie replied.

Twilight nodded. “Obviously,” she echoed, “and that’s…”

“Hey, everypony!” Spike said popping back into view. “Look who was out shopping early and heard all the shouting!”

Fluttershy trotted into view, “Uh, hello everypony…” Fluttershy’s eyes went wide as she looked at Pinkie. “Pinkie! You’re you again! How wonderful.”

“Hey Fluttershy,” Pinkie said. “And no, it’s not wonderful,” Pinkie added.

“Wait,” Twilight said as furrowed her brow, “I thought you were saying you being a pony was the important thing.”

“Yes,” Pinkie replied, “and it’s not good.”

“How can being yourself again be a bad thing?” Fluttershy asked.

“That’s what I would like to know!” Twilight said.

“Maybe Pinkie’s been a human so long, she considers that her true form!” Spike suggested.

“WHAT?!” Pinkie shrieked. “No! That’s not it…

Knock, knock

“I’ll get it!” Spike said cheerfully, walking towards the door.

“Oh my! Pinkie, is that true?” Fluttershy asked. “Are you much happier being a human now?”

“NO, that’s not true!” Pinkie said in frustration.

“Wait, but you said you being a pony was bad thing…” Twilight replied as she cocked an eyebrow at Pinkie.

“It IS a bad thing NOW, but it’s NOT a bad thing in general…” Pinkie attempted to explain.

“Hey, girls!” Spike said excitedly. “Look who heard Pinkie and wanted to stop by!”

“Uh, hello?” A famine voice called out.

Pinkie smacked a forehoof against her face. “Why me…”

Mr. and Mrs. Cake wandered up, with Pound Cake on the back of his mother and Pumpkin Cake riding on the back of her father.

“The twins heard Pinkie’s voice as we walked by,” Ms. Cake explained. “We’ve been unsure about bringing them over since she turned into a strange creature, but Spike just said she’s a pony now and…”

Pinkie plastered on her biggest smile she could manage. “Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Cake!”

The two ponies looked over towards the mirror and grinned.

“Why, hello Pinkie!” Mrs. Cake said happily as she looked upon her former employee and renter for the first time in months.

“Good morning, Pinkie!” Mr. Cake said cheerfully.

“PINKIE PIE!” the twins said excitedly.

Pinkie’s smile turned a bit more genuine.

Alright, if I get to see Pound and Pumpkin cake again, I guess it isn’t so bad…

Without warning, the two twins hopped off their parents back and dove for the mirror. Pound Cake flying as fast as his wings could take him and Pumpkin Cake lowering herself to the ground with magic and sprinting towards the mirror as fast as her little legs would take her.

“No! Wait!” Pinkie pleaded.

Too late, the twins smacked into the solid mirror and fell to the floor below. They looked up at Pinkie with big, confused eyes. Eyes that began to fill with tears.

WHUAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAHAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Mr. and Mrs. Cake exchanged worried glances.

“I CAN FIX THIS!” Pinkie cried. She was gone and back in a pink flash with bag of flour. A bag she wasted no time in holding above her head and opening, turning her pink pony self white.

Pinkie coughed as the flour settled.

The twins ceased crying, and began to giggle. Happily clapping their forehooves together.

Pinkie breathed a sigh of relief and wiped a forearm over her forehead.

The Cakes exchanged glances, then flashed Pinkie a knowing smile.

“So that’s where all our flour went…” Mr. Cake said.

Pinkie giggled nervously.

“Just what the hay is going on in here?!”

Pinkie’s eye twitched and she quickly gritted her teeth against each other.

“Rainbow Dash!” Spike said. “”Sup?”

Rainbow Dash trotted towards the group. “What’s the big deal?!” she demanded. “I was just taking a nice powernap after get up early to clear the sky and suddenly everypony is screaming and…” Rainbow Dash paused as she finally caught sight of Pinkie on the other side of the mirror.

“Hi, Dashie…” Pinkie sighed out, as she brushed flour off herself.

“PINKIE!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed, “YOU’RE A PONY AGAIN! THIS IS AWESOME!”

“Well, actually…” Pinkie began.

“Pinkie’s not stoked about being a pony again.” Spike explained.

WHAT?!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed. “HOW CAN YOU NOT BE STOKED ABOUT BEING A PONY AGAIN?!”

“Well,” Pinkie began, “for starters…”

The group went silent and looked expectantly at Pinkie.

 “…the thing about the human world is…”

“NOW WHAT IN TARNATION IS GOING ON HERE?!”

Pinkie sighed, “Oh my stars and garters…”

A chorus of, “Hi, AppleJack”s and “Hey, A.J.”s rang out.

“Hey, A.J.!” Rainbow Dash said. “Pinkie is a pony again!”

Applejack trotted into the ever growing mass of ponies. “Well ain’t that the bees knees!”

“Hey, Applejack…” Pinkie said weakly.

“Hiya, Pinkie! Boy, you must be happier than a pig in its sty to be a pony again!” Applejack explained.

“Actually, Pinkie was just telling us how she wasn’t happy.” Twilight said.

“What?!” Applejack exclaimed. “Now, how could you not be excited about being yerself again?!”

“WELL,” Pinkie began, “If everypony would just give me a chance to finish…”

“Twilight, darling?”

“Oh you’ve got to be kidding me…” Pinkie muttered.

Rarity trotted into the library, “Twilight, the door is wide open, are you having some sort of early morning get toge…OH MY GOODNESS! PINKIE, YOU’RE YOU AGAIN!”

“Hi, Rarity.” Pinkie said, rolling her eyes.

“Why, this is simply MARVELOUS!” Rarity exclaimed.

Pinkie grumbled under her breath.

“Actually,” Applejack said, “Pinkie was ‘bout to explain how she isn’t happy about the sit’ation.”

“What?” Rarity asked. She turned to Pinkie, “Oh, dearie, whatever could be the matter? Are you upset all those wonderful clothes don’t fit you?”

“No, it’s…” Pinkie paused, her forehoof suspended as she thought about Rarity’s words, “…okay, that’s part of it, but it’s not the whole…”

WHAAAAA! WATCH OUT!” A feminine voice called out.

‘Krrisssssssssssssssssssssh!’

One of the Twilight’s large, circular windows shattered as a grey pegasus crashed through it and into the library. She crash landed in the midst of the group of ponies.

“Sorry everypony…” the blonde maned, grey mare offered, her yellow eyes swirling around and around. “…I just don’t know what went wrong…”

Startled by the loud noise, the Cake twins once again broke into loud cries.

WHUAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAHAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Mr. and Mrs. Cake quickly bent down to pick up their children and began attempting to sooth them.

“Oh Celestia!” Pinkie exclaimed. “You’ve got to be kidding me!”

“Kidding you about what, my little pony?”

Pinkie’s eyes shoot open wide as the ponies, except Twilight, on the other side of the mirror bowed.

Mr. and Mrs. Cake nervously darted their eyes from side to side as they held their crying children.

“Princess Celestia?!” Pinkie cried as the alabaster alicorn trotted into the group of ponies. “What are you even doing over there?!”

WHUAAAAAAAAAAA…hehehehehe… Pound and Pumpkin Cake stopped their crying and began to giggle, swatting at Celestia’s sparkly hair as it flowed in front of them.

“Princess Celestia is here because we’re having a Princess summit right here in Ponyville!” Twilight explained. “Isn’t that exciting?”

“Uh, a thousand pardons your majesty…” Mr. Cake said as his children continued to play with Celestia’s hair.

“Oh, it’s quite alright.” Celestia said with a smile.

Pumpkin cake crabbed a hoofful of Celestia’s hair and stuck it in her mouth.

“Pinkie Pie!” Celestia said happily. “I see you’re a pony again.”

“Uh…yeah…” Pinkie said meekly, “…it’s great…”

“Wait…” Twilight said, “I thought you said it wasn’t great.”

“Oh my, whatever is the problem, Pinkie?” Celestia asked with a touch of concern.

“Erm…well…” Pinkie began to sweat bullets as she stared out Princess Celestia and all the other ponies at the library.

Merrrrrrow!” Mr. Mumbles cried angrily as she trotted up next to Pinkie.

Celestia narrowed her eyes. “You!

MERRROW! HISSSS…

“At least it seems I can groom myself!” Celestia retorted.

HISSSSSS!

The Ponies’ eyes began to dart back and forth between Celestia and Mr. Mumbles.

“How DARE you!” Celestia replied. “My horn is this size because of my control over magic!”

HISSS! Merrrow!

“At least I HAVE features that warrant being proud of!” Celestia replied.

 “Sister? Is everything alright?”

One again, everypony, save Twilight and Celestia, lowered themselves as Princess Luna walked into the midst of the group.

Pumpkin and Pound cake began giggling as another, sparkly, waving plaything walked into the library.

Pinkie just stared on in disbelief.

“Uh…Princess? Mr. Mumbles?” Twilight interrupted. “Now isn’t the time…”

“Oh…oh my…” Celestia said remembering herself. “You’re right Twilight… Do you have a spare mirror?”

“Uh…sure?” Twilight replied. She pointed off into the library, “There’s a store room down the hall and three doors down.”

Celestia nodded with a closed eye smile, “Thank you, Twilight.” She turned to her sister, and moved her face in close to Luna’s ear. “Luna, follow me, we’re making a second mirror,” she whispered.

Luna cocked an eye open wide, “Sister?” Luna glanced at Pinkie who merely smiled back nervously, “Are you sure that’s necessary?”

Celestia nodded grimly. “It’s very necessary,” she answered as she shot a glare at Mr. Mumbles.

Hissss!

Celestia raised a forehoof, pointed it at her own eyes and then pointed it at Mr. Mumbles.

“Come along, Luna,” Celestia said.

Luna gave Pinkie a quick, polite nod. “Hello Pinkie Pie, it’s good to see you are yourself once more.”

A fake smile exploded over Pinkie’s face. “Right…good…” she replied through clenched teeth.

“Merow?”

Pinkie looked down at Mr. Mumbles who looked up at her with big, green eyes.

Pinkie gave an exasperated sigh as her ears flopped down around her head, “I’ll get my compact…”

-o-

Pinkie trotted back in front of the mirror. And looked out at the mass of ponies on the other side. Others had apparently heard the commotion and wandered into the library. Thankfully, a few of her friends where still right in front of the mirror.

“Hey guys! Where’s Twilight?” Pinkie asked.

“Ah, she’s erm… assisting the other two princesses,” Rarity informed.

MERRRRROW! HISSSSSS!

“Oh my! Such language!” Fluttershy exclaimed.

Pinkie shot a quick glance out the bedroom door, “Sounds like she just finished.”

Twilight quickly galloped back in front of the mirror, “Sorry, Pinkie! Princess stuff.”

“…AND YOUR FUR LOOKS LIKE SOMETHING CHEWED YOU UP AND SPIT YOU OUT WHEN FOUND OUT HOW YOU TASTED!” Celestia’s voice rang out.

Twilight’s face flushed as she grinned nervously. Her horn glowed purple accompanied by the sound of a door slamming shut.

“It’s okay Twilight,” Pinkie replied as she trotted over to the bedroom door and closed it. She glanced back at the mirror, “I understand.”

“So, Pinkie…” Twilight began, “…about the whole you turning into a pony being simultaneously good and bad thing…”

“Well, you see…”

“TWILIGHT!”

Twilight looked towards the library door. “FLASH!” she exclaimed.

Uuuuuuuugh…” Pinkie uttered in frustration.

Flash Sentry galloped up to Twilight Sparkle who began happily nuzzling him.

“You came with the princesses!” Twilight exclaimed.

“Yep!” Flash replied, “I would have come in with them, but I had to stop and get these!” Flash moved his wings to in front of him, displaying off a large bouquet of red roses.

“Ooooh, Flash! They’re gorgeous!” Twilight exclaimed.

Flash grinned, “Not as gorgeous as the mare they’re for.”

Twilight beamed as her face flushed red.

Awwwwww…” Fluttershy uttered.

Rarity tittered to herself, “Oh, how sweet.”

“Really? That was the lamest line ever!” Rainbow Dash declared, motioning out to Flash Sentry with her forehooves.

Pinkie rolled her eyes, “Tell me about it.”

With a purple glow, the flowers levitated out of Flash’s wing and up to Twilight’s muzzle. She lowered her nose into the roses and gave them a sniff. “Oh, Flash… I’m going to put them in water right now!

“Twilight, wait…!” Pinkie pleaded.

Twilight was off in a giddy flash.

Pinkie sighed.

Flash turned to the pink mare. “Hey Pinkie!” he said in a happy tone. “You’re a pony again! That’s so cool!”

“Actually, Pinkie thinks it’s uncool.” Rainbow Dash explained.

“What?!” Flash exclaimed. “How can Pinkie being a pony again be uncool?!”

“That’s what I said!” Rainbow Dash replied.

“Well, if there weren’t so many ponies just showing up out of nowhere,” Pinkie began irritably, “I’d tell you all.”

“Go ahead, darling. We’re all ears.” Rarity said.

“Okay,” Pinkie began, “well…”

Twilight trotted back to the group. “Hey, Pinkie! Sorry about that.”

“Dearie, Pinkie’s getting a bit frazzled with all these constant interruptions.” Rarity informed.

“Oh, well…” Twilight said, “Flash and I can just...”

“No! Stay!” Pinkie pleaded. “I need you to hear this.”

Twilight nodded, “Alright Pinkie, shoot.”

“TWILY!”

Twilight glanced towards the door again. “BIG BROTHER! CADANCE!”

Pinkie’s eye twitched again, she quickly rushed to the bed, grabbed a pillow and returned to in front of the mirror. Pinkie raised the pillow up to her face, covering it.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaah!” Pinkie screamed into the pillow. She removed the pillow from her face, “Huff…puff…

“Feel better, dearie?” Rarity asked raising an eyelash.

Pinkie’s eye twitched as she looked at Rarity, “No…” she whispered out.

“Oh, it’s so good to see you!” Twilight exclaimed, embracing her brother.

Pinkie glared daggers out at the scene in front of her.

If only I were there right now, I’d take you all one by one into a dark room and eviscerate you…

Cadance trotted up with a big grin on her face.

Twilight returned the grin.

“Sunshine, sunshine, ladybugs awake! Clap your hooves and do a little shake!”

Pinkie continued to glare.

One by one, I’d end each of you under my blade…

Shining Armor noticed Flash and gave him a knowing grin as he walked up and elbowed him in the ribs, “Hello, Flash. Still flagrantly disregarding regulations, I see…”

Flash grinned pensively, closing his eyes and nervously chuckling at the comment gave by the Captain of the Royal Guard.

 Glaring intensifies.

Seriously, do any of you know what goes down at a pig farm?

“Shining Armor, be nice!” Twilight called out, walking over to Flash and throwing a forearm around his neck. “Besides! I’m the one who approached him!”

Glaring intensifies!

They’d never find your bodies…

Shining Armor chuckled, “Yeah, yeah, just giving him a hard time…” He turned and noticed Pinkie. “Pinkie,” he exclaimed, “you’re back to normal.”

Pinkie forced a smile as best she could, a large toothy grin underneath hate filled eyes. “Yes.” She uttered out through clenched teeth.

“That’s gotta make things easier on you.” Shining Armor mused.

Pinkie clenched her teeth together hard.

Cadance knitted her brow as she looked at Pinkie. “Wait, Dan’s still human, right?”

Pinkie’s eye’s widened. “Ummm-hmmm!” she hummed while nodding her head up and down vigorously.

“Uh…forgive me for asking,” Cadance said, “but… doesn’t that make things a bit…awkward?”

Everypony’s paying attention to the eyes suddenly shot open with realization.

Everypony’s, except Twilight’s.

Pinkie finally smiled. “YES! FINALLY, SOMEPONY GETS IT!”

Fluttershy stood up on her hind legs, place a forearm to her forehead, uttered an “Uhhhuwuwuwuwuh…” and fell backwards, passing out on the spot.

Everypony looked down at Fluttershy then back up at Pinkie Pie.

“Huh?” Twilight said, looking from face to face, “Why would that be a problem?”

Suddenly, all eyes focused on Twilight.

“Wait, seriously?” Shining Armor asked. “You really have to ask how Pinkie being a different species than Dan might be awkward?”

“Well…” Twilight turned to Pinkie, “he still loves you, right?”

“Well, yes,” Pinkie replied, “but love’s not the problem…”

Twilight knitted her brow, “Then what is the problem?”

Everypony, once again, focused their eyes on Twilight and gave her a strange look.

“What?” Twilight asked with a confused expression on her face. “What?

Pinkie buried her face in her forehooves. “Rainbow Dash… you don’t have any shame, could you explain it to her?”

“HEY,” Rainbow Dash protested, “just because I want to tell her because it’ll be really, really funny to see the look on her face, doesn’t mean I don’t have some boundaries!”

Pinkie exhaled slowly and put on a small smile, “You’re right, Rainbow. I’m sorry I…”

Rainbow Dash suddenly caught sight of something in the library. “Oh man, is that Flitter and Cloudchaser?!” she exclaimed excitedly, her wings extending out slightly. “I’m gonna go see if I can make that twin-sandwich dream of mine a reality!”

Everyone paused and watched Rainbow Dash flap over to the light purple pegasi twins.

“Uh well…that was…erm…highly inappropriate…” Rarity mused.

Pinkie sighed, “Forget it, I’ll explain it myself.” Pinkie inhaled a large amount of air and…

“Hi, Everypony!”

… “RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHGHGGHGH!

The group of ponies greeted Applejack.

“Pinkie’s still confused about being a pony again, Ah see,” Applejack said.

“Confusion is exactly what I’d like to address!” Twilight stated.

“Well, I brought jus’ the thing!” Applejack said. “I figured Pinkie could talk her problems out!”

“…But that’s what I’ve been trying to do!” Pinkie protested.

“So, I brought some help!” Applejack added.

“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS PSYCHOANALYZES, YAY!”

Pinkie’s expression sank to the depths of despair as if it had just collided with an iceberg and descended deep into the icy abyss below encasing all passengers onboard in chilling, watery tomb.

“So,” Scootaloo said excitedly, “tell us about your childhood!”

“Wait,” Sweetie Belle said, “I thought we were going to ask her about her dad…”

“We decided we weren’t gonna ask any of those questions until somepony told us who Oedipony was!”  Apple Bloom said.

“Oh!” Twilight chimed in. “Well, Oedipony was a stallion who killed his father and then married his mo…”

“HEY, TWILIGHT!” Flash interrupted nervously. “Why don’t we go mingle… you know… you give the ponies here a chance to talk with their princess.”

“Uh…oh… okay then…” Twilight said. “Talk to you later Pinkie!”

“No, wait!” Pinkie pleaded.

“So, Pinkie…” Scootaloo piped up, “…can you describe your libido for us?”

“Yeah…and explain to us what that is.” Sweetie Belle added.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

-ooooo-

“Oh man!” An excited looking brown colt in a spinning beanie cap exclaimed. “I bet now that you have your hooves back, you’re way better at video games!”

“CRUSH!” Pinkie said, her face contorted in anger.

“I mean…Sweetie Belle told me about how you had these weird, floppy things at the end of your arms…”

“KILL!”

The colt giggled, “Can you imagine trying to hit buttons with something silly like that?!”

“DESTROY!”

“’Cause, I sure can’t…”

“SWAG!”

-ooooo-

“Iron Will thinks you need to get in touch with your inner pony!” A large, bluish-grey, muscular, Minotaur declared. “EMBRACE IT!” he cried. He rotated his forearms about and pointed his index fingers at pony, flexing his arms in the process, “EMBRACE YOUR INNER PONY!

“I am my inner pony, right now!” Pinkie replied.

EMBRACE YOURSELF!

I’D RATHER EMBRACE MY BOYFRIEND WHO IS A DIFFERENT SPECIES THAN ME!” Pinkie screamed shrilly.

Iron Will’s eyes widened and his pupils shrank to the size of pinpricks, “…Iron Will suddenly understands the situation a lot better and is now very uncomfortable…Iron Will would like to excuse himself.”

Pinkie nodded, “You may go.”

“Iron Will thanks you.”

-ooooo-

“The Grrrrrrrrreat and Powerful Trixie thinks you should enjoy being able to use magic again!” Trixie declared dramatically, closing her eyes and throwing her forehooves into the air as she approached the mirror.

“…Trixie…I’m an earth pony…” Pinkie informed.

Trixie opened her eyes. “Oh…so you are…”

“…”

“…Wanna see a magic trick?” Trixie asked with a smile.

Pinkie sighed, “Yeah…sure…”

-ooooo-

“Yeah!” Bulk Biceps exclaimed.

“Grrrrrrrr!” Pinkie growled out irritably.

Yeah!

Grrrrrrrr!

Yeah!

Grrrrrrrr!

YEAH!

GRRRRRRRRRRR!

YEAH!

GRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Bulk Biceps paused and rested his chin on his forehoof with a thoughtful expression. “Hmmm, yes…I see how that could be quite the conundrum…”

-ooooo-

Angel looked at the Pink pony with a bored expression.

“…Why are you even here?!” Pinkie asked.

The white rabbit raised his paws into a shrug.

-ooooo-

“You know what they say…” A bright teal unicorn with a white and grayish-blue mane and tail said, “…it’s better to have had hands and lost than never had hands at all.”

Pinkie narrowed her eyes at the unicorn, “Lyra, I don’t think anypony has said that, ever, except for you.”

“So...” Lyra said, her eyes turning wild and crazed, “…what was it like?”

“Uh…what was what like?” Pinkie asked, cocking an eye at Lyra.

“Having hands!” Lyra said. “Did you grab things?!”

“Erm…”

“TELL ME WHAT YOU GRABBED!” Lyra demanded as she stood on her hind legs and leaned her forehooves against the mirror. “TELL ME WHAT YOU GRABBED!

Pinkie leaned back from the mirror, a surprised, concerned expression on her face.

A light-yellow mare with pink and blue hair sighed out, “Come on Lyra, you’re freaking everypony out…like usual…”

“But…but HANDS!” Lyra protested as the light-yellow mare clamped her teeth around the teal unicorn’s tail and dragged her away from the mirror.

Pinkie breathed a sigh of relief.

“HANDS!” an excited shout rang out from the library.

“IRON WILL NEEDS AN ADULT!”

“Hey, Pinkie!” Twilight said, trotting up to the mirror as she tossed a quick glance out into the library. “Everything going okay?”

“YOU! ME! BATHROOM! NOW!” Pinkie shouted.

Twilight’s face flushed crimson as her eyes widened and her ears flopped down around her head. “Uh…Pinkie…I have a coltfriend…”

“I’M NOT PROPOSITIONING YOU! I NEED TO TALK TO YOU ALONE!”

“Oh…” Twilight said in a relieved tone, “Good idea…that way you won’t have all these distractions and can tell me why being a pony is a problem!” Twilight said in a chipper tone.

WRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!