~*~
You know, I've been thinking, as we've gone through page after page together. I may never know who you are or what you look like, even if I have been able to catch glimpses of the kind of person you are in the way you've handled this book. But you've gotten to know a lot about me. Even then, you don't know what I look like. I mean, you know what the book looks like, but that's not exactly the same thing, is it? What I mean is, when I was a pony, I had a face, a mane, a tail, a whole body wrapped around these words and thoughts that I'm left with now. I had eyes to see with, a mouth to speak with. I was whole. I was free.
If you want... maybe I can show you what I looked like?
I haven't tried to do this before, never for anyone else in the past. No one has really cared enough to read this far anyway. So, for you, maybe I can give it a shot. If I try really hard, focus...
If I...
If I try hard enough...
...maybe...
Please, just a little...
Why....is...
...I can...
...m...be...I....c....n....
No. I'm sorry.
I can't do it.
Making cute little walking ponies, making little singing birds, that's all easy. But I'm quickly realizing that... I don't even fully remember what I look like anymore. It's been too long, and the memory is a wash of black smoke, streaking ink, spatters of red. And remembering what happened is so painful still, even now. I may be in this book, but I can still feel, I'm still alive, and I can still feel all that anger and hurt and hatred from back then. Even trying to imagine myself as I was makes me remember that I'm stuck here forever. That this is was a curse I never deserved.
...
Not that I'm upset to be in your book!
Oh no, I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. I shouldn't have tried to do that in the first place, it was a mistake. Forget I said anything, please forgive me. I didn't mean to upset you. Please, please forgive me. I'm grateful you're here, and I like trying to entertain you, I can certainly promise you that. Let's get back to the fun, that's what you and I are all about, right? We're just here to have fun, with me amusing you, and you reading along as I do.
There's no need to stop reading. Right?
Besides, I know we'll get to know each other even better in time. There's no need to rush things.
I can wait.