Science!
=Still Gilda=
"Let's see what else he has written on magic....."
Entry Twelve
While soaking Gilda was fun, I think she was a little upset at me about it. It was only a small gem, but it got her pretty soggy. There's a fair bit of water around, but following testing with the dogs, I found that the water spell was more effective when I used it, and the earth spell was better when they did it. It seems that having a natural connection with the element, as well as your knowledge of said elements will improve your ability to use it. Example, knowing how water flows, it's properties, states, and how it reacts with other things should not only make the 'caster' able to use it in different ways, but make all those ways more effective. Basically, knowing the science behind it makes it more effective. Diagrams below....
"What............ I don't even...." I couldn't even make sense of this. I knew some science, like states of water, but this..... It had two circles with number, and circles around them, labeled 'H', connected to a third, larger one, labeled 'O'. I had no idea what that was. It was titled 'water'. Is this what his world's science is like? I don't think I'll be able to figure this out on my own. Since we don't have any teachers on board, I guess I'll just have to ask the one who wrote it.
Entering the medical bay, I saw Griffin laying there, just as broken as before. It was kind of painful to look at. Someone so full of life and vigor, just, laying there. I kept reminding myself that it was only temporary, and that he was just in recovery. Still, even laying in bed, he was furiously scribbling something with his right hand while fiddling with a gem in his left.
"So..... if I.... no, no... how should I.... oh, hey Gilda... what's up?"
"Well.... I was reading your journal... and I saw some stuff that makes no sense to me....."
"Ah..... atomic models..... Not exactly a light concept, but pretty useful."
"Do you think you could teach me?"
"Well, alright. There are various elements in the world, each of which takes different forms in their natural states."
"So, water, which is liquid...."
"Not quite..... Water is a liquid, but it's made up of two gasses that, when combined, increases their density to that of a fluid. There's hydrogen, which is this one here, 'H' it's the smallest and most common, and then there's oxygen, which is the eighth smallest. Hydrogen is flammable, and on contacting oxygen, burns very easily in an exothermic reaction, which turns it into water vapor."
He then explained to me the entirety of what he called 'atomic theory', using water for all the examples, and how they were magnetic, and all sorts of other things. There was something he held back, saying 'I'm pretty sure it's impossible at this point without proper refining methods, but I don't want to give out knowledge that could lead to nuclear warheads, so, it's not a matter of trust, it's a matter of me taking this to my grave.' But he explained how to separate the 'atoms' with electricity, and that it could be done with magic, but only for an instant before it would recombust, and that's what he was trying at this moment.
"The problem I'm having is when I turn water into hydrogen and oxygen gas, there's enough energy there that it ignites immediately and combines again, resulting in an explosion......... I can't split the gasses and keep them apart long enough to do anything with them. It's a near instant low yield explosion, so unless we use it inside someone's body it's useless, and it uses more magic than other spells due to it's complexity... having to use the water spell to split it and wind spell simultaneously to direct it. Good for taking down tough targets, but dragons with their magic resistance.. ugh...... It'd be good on alphas, or those big changelings we fought....."
"Hmm... is there any other way we could use electricity?"
"Well, temporary paralysis maybe, but spell wise, wouldn't it just be easier to grab a cloud? Hmm.... unless we could interrupt the nerve impulses by negating the electrical signals... that would be very useful, because enemies wouldn't be able to block..... even just numbing them, or spastic muscle contractions..... hmm... wait...., it wouldn't need that much..... yeah.... yeah! Okay. Back on earth, there are these electric bug zappers. They look like tennis rackets, but with metal wires, and when an insect touches it, it kills it.... but that's not what a lot of people use them for. They hit each other with them."
"Why?"
"Well.... the electric shock stimulates the muscles in the same way a nerve impulse does, but it's more powerful, and it makes ALL the muscles in the person's arm contract. Normally done when someone is holding a cup of something so they spill it on themselves. The point is, it doesn't even take that much electricity to do it, so if we were to charge our weapons and shields, anything conductive that contacts them will get a nasty shock, stunning them and opening a hole in their defenses. It would work with Gem Blades too, since it's magic electricity and gems conduct that..... I can't exactly test it here, do you think you could try it out in the test chamber?"
"Sure."
"So, what am I here for again?" The only earth pony on board, Dusty Tails? Trails? Something like that, asked me.
"Well, I'm going to cast a spell on this shield, and I want you to hit it with your sword, so we can see what happens."
"That's it?" He looked at me incredulously.
"Well, first we're going to do it without the spell, to see the difference." Grif had also explained proper scientific method to me as well, so I knew first we needed to do a 'control' test, to find out what happens normally.
"Alright, ready when you are."
I took up a defensive stance and nodded that I was ready. Dusty hefted his blade above his head, then brought it down on my shield as I pushed it forwards to intercept the strike. This ended with his attack powering straight through my block and knocking me onto my back.
"You alright?" I shook my head to get the cobwebs out of it.
"Yeah. Alright, now with the spell. Ignis." I felt a tingle in the hunk of steel I was carrying, then held it in front of me to defend. I nodded to show I was ready, and braced myself for the strike. It came, the strong earth pony bringing his steel greatsword down on my shield, and me pushing forward to deflect the strike. When they connected, the pony's front legs which were holding his weapon suddenly kicked up into the air, throwing him off balance, making him face plant. He tried to get up, but his legs were shaky.
"So.... what are you experiencing?"
"Mild pain, numbness, tingles.... it's like my legs fell asleep. It's hard to move them."
"And that, is exactly what I was looking for."
We did a couple more tests, finding out whether the force behind the strike mattered at all, how many hits it would last for, how to change the intensity of the shock, and what kind of materials it would work against, and most importantly, that if the weapon striking the shield was charged as well, nothing would happen. We tested it multiple times till Dusty was so tired from repeated electrocution that he decided to call it quits. I went back to Grif to report my findings, and he was quite happy to have them.
"Alright, so, now that we know it works, and, as I figured, it's best on metals, second best on gems, and poorly on stone and wood. The level of shock depends on how much the user wants to put into it, and if the thing connecting with it is charged as well, it can't discharge, so there's no effect... good...." He then took out a note pad, drew a kite shield on it with a gem behind the handle, and a wire mesh over the face. He also drew a sword with a gem set in the hilt, and finally, Four types of gloves. One for pony hooves, a rubber bit for mouths, one for diamond dog paws, and one for griffin claws so the talons still stuck out.
"Rubber insulates against electricity, so wearing these should prevent the tingling feeling and your arm getting tired, as well as any possible electrocution from it. Take these down to Steelhorn. He'll know what to do with them. Tell him I want them ready by the time we reach our destination. We also need to teach the troops how to use them. You're the captain, how should we do it?" He asked me.
"I tested it with Dusty, so he knows how it works. I'll have him teach everyone."
"Good." He gave me a warm smile, and I nuzzled up against him. Feeling a familiar warmth throughout my body, I dashed out of the room and gave the minotaur the drawings, before rushing to the lavatory to take a cold shower.
'He knows what I'm like, and that I'm not very reserved, but rather than getting jealous or berating me, he just accepts it, all the while he doesn't do anything with anyone else, because he worries I'd be uncomfortable with it...... Would I? I guess I've come to think of him as mine, and mine alone, so, I guess I would be a bit put off he if decided to start sleeping around... yet he doesn't think that way about me... Is it because he doesn't care, or because he trusts me? Uggh, why am I thinking about feelings now? The least I can do is TRY and keep myself under control. I am so hypocritical......'
I spent the next couple days in a bit of a routine. Read journal, do sciencey.... stuff, ask Grif what something was if I didn't understand, and then I'd try to figure out a way to use it, if I couldn't, I'd ask someone else who knew more about it, and then I'd test it with someone, followed by a cold shower. Honestly? Estrus wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be. Sure, I had some thoughts that I didn't want or need at certain times, and I found myself looking at everyone around me and having to clench my beak shut, but It's not like I was ready to jump anyone....... except Grif. Whenever I was around him, I got that warm fuzzy feeling and acted just a tiny bit drunk. With him still bedridden, we couldn't do anything, but I often found myself just coming down to see him and nuzzling him. Why did I care so much about him? One day he just dropped into my life, and from that day on I didn't want to leave him alone. Something about him. The way he carries himself? His smell? His honeyed words? I don't think I'll ever know. What I do know is I couldn't live with myself if he got hurt again, so I'm going to do the best damn job I can making sure everyone else is up to par. He's carried us on his back this whole way, no longer.....
Ohhh, Coool, more of this is good. (Because this is good, just saying)
(Oh and soon 1000 likes, only 7 left, isn't that something?)
Short, sweet, to the point. Me gusta.
Nice
Omg i just realized i never liked this story. Started reading back when there were stars so it never occured to me to hit the like button.
Hehe, Gilda's getting tingly.
-Glassed
Yay! Science! Now all they need is a lightning gun.
For some reason when you said science I had the idea of portal? I don't know why I thought about portal but I just thought about portal?
Airborne cruisers, shock shields, Lasguns and gem magic. The world of tech is looking good.
I just learned about the scientific method today so...
creepy paragraph with relation to my life is creepy.
I got the thousandth like...me gusta
"What I do know is I couldn't live with myself he he got hurt again,"
What?
Next time, we will see what happens when you stick speed gels in gas tanks
This is Cave Johnson, we're done here.
"Yeah. Alright, now with the spell. Ignis."
.... Isnt ignis fire?
(For the record, I still love this story, it's just that I just wasted a bunch of time watching Zero Punctuation so I'm going to be a lot more critical than usual and have a tendency to sound irritated. Pleas don't hate me! )
Okay, now Grif's just being kind of douchey, and a little Gary Stu-ish. I can understand having an above average knowledge of atomic theory, he was a bit of a shut-in before he came to Equestria after all, but to be able to casually rattle off about separating atoms from memory without any references is a bit much. And hinting that he knows how to enrich uranium and create nukes? Isn't he, like, 16? Jesus, he's not Gordon Freeman, he's a teenager with magic powers and a god complex!
Speaking of which, he more I reflect on Griffin's psychology, the more I'm stating to think giving him a god complex was a bad decision. Admittedly, in his situation, I think most people would develop one, but in the terms of narrative, having a character believe themselves to be on par with the masters of all reality is usually something reserved for the villians. When Tetsuo Psychopants from AKIRA or Andrew McColumbine from Chronicle got godlike superhuman powers, they didn't exactly get better in the sanity department, and honestly it's going the same way for Griffin, only we still have to sympathize with him.
"But DirtyBlue, you parasitic nitpicky spoilsport, Griffin has good intentions!" Well, that's all well and good, but you know who else had good intentions? Light Yagami. And while admittedly Griffin is doing a lot more good for the world in that he's leading a revolution instead of committing serial murder, they both suffer from a slightly (or in Light's case MASSIVELY) warped view of morality, and consider themselves more than worthy of being the judge jury and executioner for the entirety of sapient life, with emphasis on the executioner part.
If Griffin were a villain, he'd probably be my favorite character in an MLP fanfic ever, like, of all time, but as it stands, he's been placed firmly on the "Hero" pedestal, and not the broken, psychotic, anti-hero pedestal, but the glistening, utopian, "big-bussomed angels singing songs of praise" messiah pedestal, meaning we sort of have to agree with everything he does because the only alternative viewpoint comes from either his somewhat blindly loving followers or his nigh-unquestionably evil adversaries.
Still, it's not all that bad, with so much more ground left to cover in the story, we have plenty of time for Griffin's flights of fancy to dwindle away until he finally realizes that he isn't the Gryphon equivalent of Christ and stops trying to make the kind of decisions that should be left to the gods... Though admittedly in the MLP universe that leaves us with an immature prankster twat and her silly little sister, so maybe Griffin is better suited for the job after all- at least an Old Testament God would actually get shit done.
(Abrupt Guitar Outro)
1237027 Blackwing went the Air Bender route and has 'ignis' control both fire and lightning. It'd be pretty cool if he got Griffin to use 'tonitrus' or 'fulgur' (thunderous and lightning respectively) soon. Don't know how he'd get Griffin to learn or realize those words through what's already been established, though
1237040
*Slow clap, rising to full cheer
That was very logical, my good brony.
I am an engineering student in my junior year of college, and I just want to say that the science and fantasy mixing in this story is: One really awesome, and two really well done.
1237040
However, I slightly disagree, as Grif wants to unite the scattered eyries/prides/whatever the hell a group of griffins is called, get rid of the troublesome dragons and destroy the greedy and evil Diamond Dog Alphas. Kind of noble. Also, I find him a bit of an anti-hero. He's not quite right, if ye get me drift.
1233148 Your "mistress" is Lady Hel from Norse mythology isn't it?
1237040
well as an example here's me.
"casually rattle off about separating atoms from memory without any references is a bit much. And hinting that he knows how to enrich uranium and create nukes? "
I understand the basic idears of fission, fusion, and all it really takes is a couple hours of study and you can be fairly knowledgeable on the subject, assuming you understand the references in the essays you read.
and it can be argues that he HAS to be at least a little overpowered to even keep up in this universe, we have time travellers, teleporters, swords that can cut almost anything, speeds that make the sonic rainboom look like a crawl. he really isn't super overpowered when you compare him to the rest. there's also the fact that a lot of his power comes from his team. geirmund alone is irreplacable
1236121, next thing we see is them fighting Discord worshipers shouting "HERESY"
1237282
Still, my point is that he's doing it all from memory and going somewhat in-depth about it, which strikes me as a bit odd. And I somehow doubt he would actually know the process for enriching weapons-grade fucking uranium- and if he really doesn't, then he's sort of a twat for even mentioning it in the first place, because now he's planted the idea, and some insane genius might actually figure it out.
And on the subject of being OP, I'm starting to feel like the Chessverse has devolved after some time. I think around the point that Latin magic was introduced (that or when Knightmare showed up out of nowhere playing heavy metal riffs on a rainbow guitar) the verse sort of went from "Complex Conspiracy among Higher Powers" to "Showing off Your OC and/or Throwing Them into a Gladitorial Arena". I mean, yeah, all these stories are creative and all, but I think we've passed the threshold from "creating lore" to "spouting justifications/excuses".
Like you said, we've got characters who make the Canon powerhouses look like sniveling wusses, and that's where I usually draw the line. Unfortunately for my hypocritical ass, this universe is filled with so much of what I usually label as "Overpowered Wish Fulfillment Bullshit" that it hit critical mass, turned into a black hole, imploded on itself and created a big bang, leaving behind this grotesquely beautiful saga that I'm both addicted to and desperately want to be a part of, hell, I've even got my own story going (NUDGE NUDGE), not that I ever update it, the lazy cock I am.
1237419
if you want an oc chessverse story where the main character isnt physically or magically overpowered, try m'youve got to be kidding me, turned into a cow all he/she has going for him/her is brains.
ssooo.. no blood bending? its water nontheless
1237225
I'm not saying he's evil, far from it, I'm just saying that there's sort of a conflicting message about him. On one hand, we have the parts where he looks like a noble, gallant hero, riding off into the sunset bring peace liberty and rainbows to the people of the world, whereas at other times he's a self-absorbed cock who thinks his time is a precious commodity that should not be taken up by anyone lesser than him, not to mention the times where he just flat-out indulges his psychopathic tendencies based on excuses of varying degrees of flimsiness.
This isn't exactly a problem; if it were balanced out in a way where how his actions look depend on the point of view, eg, The masses see him as a hero, his friends see him as a loveable dickhead, and the reader sees him as a Serial Killer, but instead they all just kind of mesh in a way where people seem to ignore his extreme bipolar episodes and twisted delight in combat, only to be offened by a dick joke he tells the next morning over breakfast. And when they do decide to deal with the elephant in the room, or in this case, the twitchy blood-soaked lion-bird, they focus more on how "it's unlike him" and act like it's a sudden change from his heroics, when in reality, a lot of his heroics are just a side-effect of his violent schitzophrenia, and by god I'm sounding more like Yahtzee every second. Is he infectious or some shit?
1237441
I tried it, and honestly it brings up another point of mine, being "The Black Vault". Yes, It's a cool idea, and it's fun to include SCP references in everything, but it still makes for an easy source of OP-ness. You said Physically or Magically OP, but you failed to account for the ones who are all but normal save for their MAGICAL DEMON SOUL-SWORD OF THE GODS, that can only be defeated in extremely arbitrary circumstances. OP doesn't have to mean the character themself is OP, if they have Level Infinity-Plus-One Equipment, then they're still on the same level as the rest of them. There has to be some kind of struggle, and I don't mean the occasional slight annoyance that is overcome in one chapter or less, interrupted by a sudden unstoppable demon-beast from nowhere. The characters need to have to work hard to claim every letter of their incredibly long titles, otherwise it just seems like they're in a videogame. You can't just have the only challenges be bosses, no, this is literature, we need to feel some connection to reality, and good god, I still think I'm Yahtzee, someone help me!
1237489
Hmm, yes, do go on. I'm liking every opinion, I'm like John Hammond from Jurassic Park; I'm open to all opinions. My counterargument! (PS: Please don't get out of control with this, feel free to PM me if this get too long in the comment section):
-Griffin actively admits he's a lunatic, OCD, mad genius griffin.
-He actively tells everyone he's a great bag of douche every once in a while.
-He is actively trying to find his adoptive people (eg griffins) a new place to live, a way to defend themselves and the killing of their captors/predators. That's pretty good stuff.
Now for agreeance:
-When Grif mentioned WAY BACK to Trixie to try and create an illusion of food to lure an enemy off a cliff, I immediately thought either a) he's trolling Trixie or b) he actually thinks that's a valid idea, and that is near borderline retarded. Like when my friend though "Roid Rage", that huge muscle-bound white pegasi stallion also known as Horse Power and Snowflake, was named that thanks to hemorrhoids.
-The whole spider thing. I am reasonable afraid of wild boars, savage feral dogs and oncoming trains. But spiders? Seriously? Unless it's like a giant undead spider exoskeleton, filled with smaller spider controlling it, who swarm out when you destroy it, I don't get the fear.
1237543
I won't disagree with those points, in fact they're all very good ones that I kind of agree with, but having contracted Yahtzee Impersonation Syndrome (a debilitating condition for which the only cure is for one of you to smack me across the face already for christ's sake) I already have a counterargument prepared.
Yes, Griffin admits he's a big Douchey McDoucherson, and that he's practically a silent hill antagonist in terms of mental health, that doesn't change the fact that he is those things. If I were to mug someone and shout to them "It's okay, I have to mug people to support my dysfunctional homeless family," it wouldn't change the fact that I just shot that person in the knee, stole everything shiny on them, and pissed on their expensive jacket for the lulz; all it really does is make it harder for me to feel bad about it. Being aware of your issues isn't enough, you have to at least try to hold them back, otherwise you just come off as a self-aware douchebag, which is roughly the same as a regular douchebag only you can't make them feel bad about themselves, which takes away all the fun.
I have to go now, I'm reading all of this aloud in rapid-fire british accent while wearing a trilby, and my parents are starting to stare.
(DAH, DAH-DAH-DAH, DAH, DAH-DAH-DAH, DAH-DAH, DAH-DAH)
1237535
then i shall leave you with something.
if everyone is op, then isn't nobody op?
not counting the world around them of course
1237704
British accents? Oh, you are an ABSOLUTE treat.
1237715
That's kind of what I mean, not only does nobody have any real weaknesses aside from the arbitrary Demon-Beast bosses, which are less of epic struggles against the odds and more of elongated pest removal, but they're all practically gods in their own right, at least compared to the everyday folk of the world. Like I said, making a hero too powerful turns them into a Boring Invincible Hero, if life in general can't challenge them, then it just gets boring. That's why superheroes these days are just as vulnerable to bullets as the next guy, and always have secret identity issues and complicated relationships, it brings them closer to reality and forces them to endure the hardships that everyday people have, making them more interesting. If you just wave your hand and ignore these sorts of things because you can, because that removes tension, and tension is what drives a plot.
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to bash my head into a wall until I purge the Yahtzee-ness from my system.
1237419 Actually, rather than him knowing HOW to enrich uranium to make nukes.... it's more like something along the lines of this.
"Hey guys, did you know if you enrich uranium and run a high electric current through it you can split the atoms and obliterate the planet?" And then someone ELSE figures out how to do it. Basically, he doesn't know the process, he just knows the basics, but he's worried someone ELSE might be smart enough to figure it out, which is why he's not telling anyone.
1237040 Also, he's 20~21 now, and didn't I mention he got like, high 80's in school? Being bullied tends to make a person a shut in, and with nothing else to do, (since he stopped singing and dancing) , he spent his time studying, to the point that he knows the first 10 element's of the periodic table off by heart, as well as the basics of atomic theory, such as electrons are attracted to the protons in the nuclei of adjacent atoms, how they pair themselves, and shit like why water is magnetic, because it's a polar molecule. Seriously, HIGHSCHOOL science people, not Gordon Freeman level stuff. He's talking basic science as to how lightning works, (being a buildup of electrons in the cloud which arc across the sky to the protons in the earth, and things that are electrically charged cannot be hit by lightning, which is also why it's extremely rare, though not impossible, for lightning to strike the same place twice, which is why having a charged shield would also protect you from other electrical dangers, with the rubber gloves to insulate) Am I honestly the only one who paid attention in chemistry class?
1237543 Yeah, the 'food off a cliff' thing WAS stupid, but I was having a brain fart. I've changed it to be a lot less retarded, which people would know if they read my rewrite blog.
1237785 I wanted to make a quick correction to your earlier statement, Grif is a 19 year old college student. The knowledge he is displaying is actually a good bit less than I would imagine him as capable of. You know, self proclaimed OCD egghead and all that.
As for the OP characters, in part I couldn't agree more, but on Griffon himself I think he's pretty well balanced for the story being told. He's capable of near "Princess" level feats, but suffers consequences when he does. Also, if you consider his crew as an extension of him, then he's even more balanced, as the crew (and Trixie in particular (poor Trixie)) have proven to be vulnerable.
However Ember in particular I have a problem with. For one thing her being stronger than the gods themselves is a major problem. But my big grief is her use of magic. Dragons are immensely magical creatures, but that same magic is what allows them to exist. Nothing a dragon does is normally possible, therefore magic is required to sustain it, hence the magic charge from drinking their blood. But if you take that same magic that's keeping you alive and use it externally, you die (or at lease suffer some consequences). Ember however, simply has an infinite well of magic. Yea, no.
I understand that Ember is someone else's OC, but that's just broken.
uh oh... I sense Gilda learning nuclear fission
This will end partially ok
1237965 ' I wanted to make a quick correction to your earlier statement, Grif is a 19 year old college student. The knowledge he is displaying is actually a good bit less than I would imagine him as capable of. You know, self proclaimed OCD egghead and all that.'
Exactly. The person had a hard time believing he knew all that without referencing anything? ..... I know all that and I didn't have to reference anything. From memory ALONE I know that by refining uranium (in a process which I'm not familiar with, but I'm sure some Equestrian with good intentions is perfectly capable of figuring out) and running either a high electric current through it, or throwing a neutron from another radioactive material at it, will cause the atom to break, setting off a chain reaction within the uranium.
1237965 As for dragons using magic, magic is their life blood, but using it would be possible as they aren't using their entire being. Also take note that Ember has two, (or maybe more, she hasn't written that much yet) people inside her, which have been given the blessing of an elder dragon in the form of a tear of blood given to her before her 'father' died. The problem with dragons isn't necessarily their strength, but their innate resistance to external magics, which are the princess's primary forms of offense. Forced to rely on her physical strength, Luna, who as you might know, isn't all grown up yet by the difference in size between her and her sister, as well as recovering from a thousand years of not using her magic as Nightmare Moon, and having that ripped away, left her weakened for quite possibly several centuries. For example, Thud and Celt, who're pretty much freaking tanks, would have had significantly less trouble dealing with Ember. Grif and Aoi's problems were that they couldn't cut the scales, crushing what's underneath them would work quite well though.
1237984
Yay! Blackwing responded to my post!
Hehe, pardon my fanboy moment
As a point of reference, I am also a self proclaimed egghead. I've known how to build a nuke since I was 15. It's frighteningly easy to find the theory, refine the uranium, and build an explosive. The ONLY hard part is perfecting the timing of the compression blast, but with magic that would be easy too... Equestria could be a nuclear power within a month.
1237957
Sorry, man. Just had a brain fart here as well. I had read the rewrite!
Oh well, when you're wrong, offer awesome, even if it has no bearing to the conversation.
Because I'm a gentleman and stuff.
1237984
Well, admittedly, I'm pretentious twat who's currently failing the 11th grade less than a month in, so my statements about what is and isn't common knowledge may be a bit off. I just got the impression from the fact that he was being bullied to such an extensive degree in the prologue as indication that he was still a kid. Honestly, I have a hard time believing anyone college age is fucked up in the head enough to act like a middle school bully, and Griffin's reactions seemed like more of a teenage response. Still, like I said, this is all coming from the pimply, carpal tunnel infected typing hands of a pretentious teenage cock, so yeah.
And yes you are the only one who paid attention in chemistry, amirite?! ...No? ... I'm the only one who didn't? ... ok...
1237785
Got too much blood in your caffeine system?
1237419
I have far too many comments in a string, but a few things:
-I wanted Gorath to be powerful, yet CRITICAL MASS F*&K NO MAGIC. He's a Zebrican Isles zebra, not a dragon on crystal meth. (You see what I did there? *nudge nudge)
-I made characters that are utter goofballs: Lezenth and Aybaerya, a kobold kid and a wyvern former teacher respectively, to balance out Nijavajo, a scary sword-swinging Diamond Dog lass with a softer side which if you uncover without her consent, you are losing limbs.
-I did a great deal of research on zebras, and learned some surprising facts. Did you know a zebra has nighsight as great as an owl's? Seriously.
-I looked at how everyone was making Diamond Dogs out to be utter bastards, and thought, "How the hell did this happen? Also, where are the wolves at? How'd they die out?" So I came up with the concept of the Longing, which basically ruined a LOT of intelligent species in Equestria forever. Also, Shadowhounds.
TL;DR
1238027 The reason he acts so childish is because he wasn't raised properly, and so he doesn't act mature. He wasn't taught right from wrong, so he does whatever the hell he feels like. I know someone like that. He's 25 and he throws freaking TEMPER TANTRUMS. Doesn't get his way, whine, bitch, complain, hit, that kind of thing. This kind of thing happens a lot more than you'd think it does.
1238008
Okay, I actually went back to the first chapter, and he's pretty obviously in high school- admittedly it's a pretty fucked up high school where the student body includes psychotic drug addicts with spiky green mohawks, but still.
Lunch time, swirlies, and referring to it as school. Sounds like high school to me. And you spelled Daniel wrong
Suspension and getting grounded, and apparently these guys can't buy their own damn XBox. Again, high school (though getting grounded seems more like a middle school thing, honestly...)
Again, in college, your teachers (professors, really) are not going to discipline or protect you- they will in high school.
Now, I've just gotten two notifications, so forgive me if you've adressed any of this, I was too busy being OCD about this post.
1238117 It's more like.... fresh out of highschool. Just getting into college. College Freshmen who haven't gotten rid of their bad highschool habits, and Grif's parents treat him like a little kid because they have no respect for him, so they ground him. I never said he actually follows their punishment. Of course he's gonna say fuck that and do whatever he wants. It was more of a look at what HAS happened in the past, during his highschool years. Also, there are a surprising number of adults in this world who still act like little kids, at least in my area..... It's kind of a look at how people are taking longer to stop being childish twats.
1238162
Ehh. Wording still makes it seem like high school to me. Senior year, ready to leave, maybe, but still.
And if Griff's parents are like that... Okay, now my opinion of them as being misunderstood by their depressed child is dropping into them being almost stupidly abusive.
(... and for the record I still love this story and think it's awesome. I'm just in a nitpicky and critical mood right now.)
1238176 There are parents who are stupidly abusive. In fact.... while I am loathe to say it, while this may not be MY experience with MY parents, I know of someone from school, someone who's parents really did tell him he was a worthless sack of... well, you get the picture, when he was just a kid. His dad got drunk and beat the hell out of him. Poor kid was traumatized. Eventually the teachers found out, got the cops involved, and happily ever after. I combined that with my own past of getting beaten up at school, then when I finally fight back, I'M the one who got caught. So, it pretty much all happened in real life, just not all to the same person. The fact is, there ARE people like that out there, and it's a scary thought. Yes, I live in Canada's armpit.
1238244
Oh, trust me, I know. Last year I had to go to an inner-city public school while we worked out a move to another state, and I knew this girl who had to take care of her little brother because her mother was distant and her dad ran out on her. Thing is she was addicted to weed. And cocaine. When I first met her, she was turning a new leaf because of a particularly traumatizing event where she unintentionally neglected her brother- I won't share the details, they're fucked up- and was quitting everything. By the end of the year, she was constantly bleary-eyed and spent a lot of our drama class sitting in the corner either recovering from her hangovers or just being high.
Shit, I could tell you some stories from that school...
I've heard about you and your honeyed words. don't go trying to bribe me like I'm some merchant.